13. Madison

13

MADISON

Nobody is talking, and it’s driving me insane. I check my phone for the hundredth time and find it weird I haven’t heard from Jenna once. I hate to ask John, but I need to know. “Have you heard from Jenna?”

John shakes his head, and Knox speaks up. “I did. She and Dylan are at the hospital. It’s time.”

“Fuck. Why didn’t you tell me?” John asks.

Knox leans back in his seat and lays his head back with his eyes closed. “She told me not to until we were on the plane and everyone was okay. She didn’t want you to worry. Aiden knows. We’re landing at the air strip in Jasper so you two can go straight to the hospital.”

John nods, but I watch as his jaw tightens and his knuckles turn white from how hard he’s gripping the hand rest. It’s all my fault. All this is my fault. I should never have told Jenna what was happening. I should never have gotten John involved. Emotion is bubbling, and I know I’m about to start crying. I take off my seat belt and start to stand up when John grabs me by the waist and hauls me into his lap. “Stay.”

I take a shuddering breath. “I need...”

His arms tighten around me and he presses my head to his chest. “You need to stay right here. Cry, scream, hit... do whatever you need to do... but I need you to do it right here.”

And I can’t stop it. Tears start to roll down my cheeks, and I rub and wipe at them, but nothing I do can make them stop. Knox and Bear get up and move to the front of the plane, leaving John and me to ourselves. John doesn’t say anything. He just keeps holding me, stroking my back and telling me it’s going to be okay.

I eventually stop crying, but John still doesn’t let me go. He holds me the whole flight, and only once we start to land does he put me back in the seat next to his and pull the seat belt around me. When we land, I can’t look any of them in the eye. I follow John, and when we get outside on the tarmac, Walker and Brooklyn, John’s boss and his girlfriend, are waiting for us.

Walker opens the door to the back of his SUV. “Glad you’re home.”

John pats him on the shoulder. “Me too. Thanks for sending the guys and for coming to get us.”

Walker waves him off. “No problem. But you might want to get in. I’m sure Jenna wants you at the hospital.”

I climb into the car with John behind me. I climb to the other side and wait for John to reach out for me, but he doesn’t. Instead he stares out the window the whole way to the hospital. Brooklyn makes small talk about the coffee shop and Jenna, but as soon as we get to the hospital, I bolt out of the car with John on my heels.

We find the maternity floor and get to the desk. John is complaining about the lack of security when I push open the door to Jenna’s room.

She’s holding a baby, all wrapped in pink, and I can’t help it, I burst into tears again. “We missed it. I’m so sorry we missed it.”

In true Jenna fashion, she’s shaking off my apology. “You’re here now, Mads. Plus, Dylan and I needed time to meet the baby. You guys getting here now is perfect.”

I walk to the edge of the bed and peer down at the beautiful baby girl. “She’s beautiful.”

Dylan puffs out his chest. “Just like her mother.”

Jenna rolls her eyes, but I can tell she loves the compliment before turning to John and me. John leans down and kisses his sister on the forehead. “I’m proud of you, sis.”

She preens even more, and I swear she looks more beautiful than ever. She gestures to the baby in her arms. “Which one of you wants to hold her first?”

John points at me. “Madison can go first.”

I go to the sink and clean up before taking the baby from Jenna. I sit down in the chair and just get lost in looking at her. “What’s her name?”

“Jamie.”

I gasp and look at Jenna and then at John. His face is filled with a longing like I’ve never seen before, but he hides it quickly. “You named her after Mom?”

Jenna wipes a tear from her cheek. “Yeah, I think she would have liked that. Is that okay with you?”

John’s voice is gravelly and thick. “Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s perfect.”

Dylan puts his hand on Jenna’s shoulder and smiles down at her. “Actually, her name is Jamie Madison Riggs.”

My eyes jerk to the new parents. “Wait... you named her Madison... after me?”

They both nod, and a whole fresh set of tears starts to roll down my face. John leans down next to me and looks me in the eye. He wipes the tears away. “It seems fitting. You’ve always been a part of the family.”

I nod numbly. There are so many emotions and thoughts whirling in my head. I was lucky the day I met Jenna in grade school. She, her parents, and her brother are like the family I never had. I clench my eyes tightly, remembering today and the drug dealer that had a gun held on John. I almost got him killed. My stomach clenches painfully.

I force a smile on my face and look at Jenna. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.”

I kiss little Jamie’s head and gently put her in John’s arms. “Here you go. I know you can’t wait to get your hands on her.”

I stand with my arms crossed over my body and watch John with his niece. My heart melts watching them. I almost took this from him .

“Uh, I need to go and get cleaned up, but I’m going to come back...”

I’m walking toward the door. Both Jenna and Dylan are telling me to stay, but I don’t dare look at any of them. I can feel John’s heated gaze on me, and it makes me want to run even farther, faster.

I wave a hand over my shoulder. “I’ll be back later.”

I hustle out the door and take five steps before I burst out crying. The day’s events have caught up with me. Everything is hitting me at once: my brother, Baron, the guns, last night with John, knowing that we don’t have a future together, all of it. I spot a bathroom and slide in the door. I need to get myself together, order an Uber, and go home. I’ll pull myself together like I always do.