20. Mia

CHAPTER 20

Mia

Fuckbuddy

When will you be home?

Me

About two more weeks.

Fuckbuddy

That's too long. I miss you.

I 've never seen Jones more attractive than now. Sitting on top of that horse, a cowboy hat on his head replacing his usual ballcap, he looks confident. He looks like he's in control. With his legs straddling the horse and the reigns wrapped around his corded forearms, he holds power and dominance.

He's hot as hell and I'm drenching my panties just standing here watching him.

I'm so distracted by him on that horse, I've hardly noticed the one Nico has brought over for me to climb on. It's been years since I've been on a horse. But it should be as easy as riding a bike and I picked that up pretty well again.

Nico helps me put my foot in the stirrup before I hike my leg over the animal's back. I adjust myself in the saddle and it takes a few moments to get more secure. If I remember correctly, it's not very comfortable riding a horse.

Nico pets the mare's neck. "All right, Miss Mia, this here is Buttercup. She's the nicest horse on the team. Rumor has it, you're a teensy nervous. So take a few deep breaths and try'n relax. You don't want her sensing your anxiety."

"Sure, because that's how it works," I mutter under my breath while my heart races.

"It's the truth. And hell, I'd know. You're talkin' to someone who's a seasoned panic attack survivor."

I dart my gaze at him and when I do, he's looking at Rosie. There's so much damn adoration in his expression that my heart swells in my chest. Watching how much someone loves their person feels like a gift. Like experiencing a little slice of heaven.

"Rosie is lucky to have you," I say.

"Nah, I'm the lucky one." He turns his attention on me finally. "You good?"

"Yeah, as good as I'll ever be."

He nods and gives the horse a pat on his butt and she takes off in a trot. I join my friends, with Nico right behind me. Jones glances over his shoulder as I approach, and his mouth hangs open. He adjusts the cowboy hat on his head and his eyes go wild.

"Holy shit, I'm jealous of a fucking horse," he chuckles, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, I can assure you, you're a much better ride." I slide him a smile.

Nico and Rosie lead us on a trail through the woods around Gigi's cabin. Maverick and Cammie follow behind them and Jones and I bring up the rear. It's probably best this way so they can't hear Jones and all his dirty talk. This man. Who knew riding horses and wearing a cowboy hat would turn him into a filthy-talking cowboy.

It's beautiful out here. Always has been. The scent of pine trees mixed with dirt triggers my brain. Some of my favorite Maple Ridge memories are from time spent at Gigi's cabin. It's quiet and the air is clearer out here somehow.

Out here, the world moves slowly. It gives me a chance to play catch up to everything that's been going on the past few weeks. I had so much anxiety about returning to Maple Ridge. Not only because I was fearful of seeing my dad in a distressed state following the stroke, but also because I was worried about seeing Jones.

My time with him has been nothing short of amazing. I never expected we'd pick up almost right where we left off. He had every reason to hate me for leaving him the way I did. But instead, he welcomed me back. Into his life, into his heart, and into his bed.

"Can you believe it with those two?" Jones asks, pulling me from my own head.

"Hmm?" I ask, glancing over at him.

"Those two—Maverick and Camille."

"Oh, right." I exhale a light laugh before I focus on Maverick and Cammie in front of me. "To be honest, it took me a few days of seeing them together before I was convinced it was real."

"Ha," he barks. "It took me a month before I could even stand to look at them in the same room."

I snort a laugh. Jones has always been protective over his little sister and ready to fight anyone who tried messing with her. I can only imagine how awkward things got when it was his best friend on the receiving end.

When I glance over at Jones, he's got his attention on Maverick and Cammie, his eyes are soft.

"You seem fine with it now," I suggest.

He finally turns to look at me and lets go of the reigns to throw up a hand. "Look at them. How can I not? It doesn't take a genius to see how happy they make each other."

"They're like Monica and Chandler," I point out, a smile pulling at my lips.

"What?"

"You know, from FRIENDS?"

He waves me off with a groan. "You still watch that shit too? So does Cammie and Rosie. You girls do realize that show has been over for like two decades?"

I shrug. "I like that I've seen it a hundred times. It's predictable. It brings me comfort."

Learning this about Cammie and Rosie causes my heart to give a little squeeze in my chest. Even though the years and miles spanned between us, we still have things in common.

"I guess. Seems boring to me. That would be like me watching the final game in the Stanley Cup playoffs over and over."

"I highly doubt you'd find that boring." I give him an amused smile.

He chuckles to himself. "Okay, maybe that was a bad example. I'd watch anything hockey, a game, playoffs, highlights. I eat that shit up."

"I'm glad you're still into hockey. You ever play anymore?"

"I'm too old. Where am I gonna play? Some beer league?"

"Exactly. And you're not too old. Your dad played in a bar league until after he was fifty, didn't he?"

He grunts. "Yeah, but it's not like the NHL was knocking on his door to draft him at the right age of fifty."

Buttercup tries to speed up to catch up to the lead horses and I have to pull back on the reigns slightly. "Easy, girl," I murmur, giving her a light pat on her neck.

"It's sad if you ask me. At least I have the sense to not be like him and know when to quit."

"Your dad played because he loved the sport. That's passion. And I think if you're anything like your dad, you should be so lucky." I try to push the annoyance away. The last thing I want is Buttercup sensing my frustration.

"You're right." He chuckles. "Shit. You're always right."

I can't help smiling.

By the time we make it to the lake, and I climb off Buttercup, my legs are screaming at me. It doesn't seem to matter that I've been hiking, working at the store, riding bikes, and riding Jones, horseback riding uses entirely different muscles. But they ache in a satisfying way. Like I've accomplished something.

"We can let the horses rest here for a bit," Nico says, tying his horse up under a tree.

Cammie is bent slightly rubbing her thighs. "Thank God. I don't know about the horses, but I know I sure could use a break."

"What's the matter, your muscles not conditioned from all the screwin' you and Maverick do?"

Jones audibly chokes.

He stabs a finger at Nico. "You better shut the hell up about that shit right now, country boy. We have one rule. We don't discuss Maverick and Cammie's sex life."

Nico holds his hands up, but his crooked smile is amusing. "Sorry, must've forgotten."

I laugh and leave Buttercup for Nico to tend to while I shuffle toward the dock. Rosie and Cammie follow me. Rosie sits down on the edge of the dock and starts yanking off her cowboy boots and socks.

"I don't know about you ladies, but these dogs need to breathe," she says.

I shake my head at her and Cammie giggles.

I sit next to Cammie and do the same, taking off my hiking boots and socks. "Still never thought I'd ever see Rosalie as a cowgirl."

"Right? Same," she agrees. "But what can I say? That Texas cowboy stole my heart and mellowed me out."

It's sweet and my heart expands as I look at the pure joy radiating from Rosie.

"Plus, have I told you how good he is at fucking?"

Cammie and I burst into a fit of laughter.

"I don't think he mellowed you out much, Rosie." I snort another laugh.

"But that's good he hasn't, because we wouldn't want you any other way," Cammie says.

"It's true. You wouldn't be the Rosie we've come to know and love."

She gives a mock bow.

I glance over my shoulder; Nico is pulling beer from a cooler and passing them out to the other guys. I love watching their comradery. The way they give each other shit but it's obvious they have one another's backs too.

"See what you're missing out on," Cammie says, breaking through my thoughts. "Can you honestly tell us that you have a group of friends like this back in Connecticut?"

I chew on my lip and dip my toes into the water. The icy chill races up through my body. "Definitely not like this. Because this is irreplaceable."

"Aww," Rosie feigns being touched by my statement. "Cut the crap and just come back home."

It's blunt. It's so Rosie. But it still somehow hits me like a bullet to the chest.

"I have a home, guys. I have a life back there."

Even as I say the words out loud, they feel wrong. Associating home with anywhere other than Maple Ridge feels wrong. But at the same time, the reality is Maple Ridge hasn't been my home for a long time.

"Why can't your life be here again? If you don't want to work at Base Camp, can't you do your job online?" Cammie unbuttons her blouse and takes it off so she's dressed in only a light pink tank top underneath.

I twist my fingers together in my lap while my focus remains on my toes dipping in and out of the water. "I could," I stretch out the word. "It's not the job."

"Then what is it?" Cammie urges.

"Is it Jones?" Rosie asks, glancing around Cammie to make eye contact with me.

A rock in my stomach forms. This day had been going so well. I wasn't expecting to have this conversation today.

"It can't be Jones, you guys seem to be getting along great. Aren't you?"

"I mean, yeah. We're good. Surprisingly," I add, and this causes intrigue from them both. "I guess I expected him to still hate me when I came back."

Cammie smiles softly. "He could never hate you."

"Uhh," Rosie interrupts. "Well, that's not entirely true. Pretty sure there were a few years where he hated you."

"Rosie," Cammie shrieks.

"No, it's okay. That feels better actually, knowing he hated me instead of being fine with me leaving. I guess it shows he loved me."

"Correction: loves you." Cammie looks at me intently.

"You guys have obviously worked things out. I know y'all are fucking like bunnies. So then what is it?"

What is it? What's keeping me from packing up my shit in Connecticut and returning to Maple Ridge? Things back there are going okay for me. I have a few friends, a fuck-buddy, a good job. But starting over—again—is terrifying.

Rosie gasps and both Cammie and I whip our heads at her.

"It's a guy," she barks.

"What?" I ask, my voice going up. "It's not a guy."

"Liar," she teases.

Cammie's brows furrow and her lips go pouty. "You have a boyfriend back there?"

"No," I blurt. "I don't. I mean, there's a guy, but?—"

"Told you!" Rosie gleams. "I fucking told you."

"It's not like that. It's nothing. It's more like a friend-with-benefits situation, that's it," I try to explain but the more I do, the worse it sounds.

"So you do have friends," Cammie says.

"Ugh," I groan.

Rosie cackles. "We're just giving you shit, Mia. It's been eight years since you and Jones broke up. We're women, we have needs."

"It's true," Cammie agrees. "But partially I'm a little sad thinking about you with another guy."

"I'm not," Rosie cuts in. "I'm glad our girl ventured out and got her some. Sleeping with one guy forever sounds like torture. Especially when that one guy is Jones."

Sleeping with Jones for the rest of my life actually sounds like heaven.

"What about Jones?" he asks, standing behind us.

I glance up and shield the sun with a hand to my forehead to see him. He's hovering behind me dressed in a t-shirt with sweat soaked through the front, clinging to his muscles. There's an instant swoop low in my belly.

"Nothing. Just telling my girl here, that sleeping with you sounds like torture," Rosie chimes in.

"You'd be so lucky," he barks back.

"Hey," Nico says, tugging off his cowboy boots. "I dunno, but I'd rather you didn't think about screwing Jones."

Rosie clambers up to her feet and throws her arms around Nico's neck. "Don't worry, that's not even an afterthought."

"Good. Because I'd hate to have to punish you, Kit-Kat."

"Punish me, Cowboy," she challenges him.

"Yeah?" he quirks a brow, stepping out of his jeans. "Jus' remember, you asked for it." He cinches his hands around her waist and shoves her to the edge of the dock before holding her tight while and leaps off.

She squeals before hitting the water and we all laugh.

Cammie and Maverick jump into the lake next. I consider it, but Jones is still dressed in his jeans, and he plops down next to me. It's heavy. Like he's got something on his mind.

Setting a large hand on my thigh, he says, "Level with me, Peaches. What were you girls talking about?"

An ache forms in my stomach. I don't want to ruin this day. It's been one of the best ones since I've been back. With all of us together again, laughing and hanging out, it's been almost like old times and not like there was an eight-year void in there.

But this is Jones. I can't lie to him.

"You know I can't move back to Maple Ridge." I don't say it like a question.

He nods, his chin to his chest.

His expression is hidden to me. As much as I want to see it so I can imagine what he's thinking, it's killing me.

"I know," he finally says, releasing a long sigh and lifting his head to peer at our friends splashing in the lake. "Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"What? No. Of course not, but you asked."

"And that's what you were talking about, about you moving back here?"

I chew on my lower lip, hesitating in my response. I don't want to cause him more pain. Telling him about my fuck-buddy back in Connecticut will crush him. "More or less."

"Why'd you tell them you can't move back home?"

"Jones," I drag out his name on a breath. "Maple Ridge isn't my home anymore. My life is in Connecticut. I have a job, and friends, and…" I let my words fall off.

He removes his hand from my thigh, leaving behind the ghost of his grip. "A guy?"

It's the first time we've discussed this in detail. So far, we've only hovered around the idea of both of us being with other people during the years we've been apart. But it only seems fair he knows. I know about his last relationship, I even had to spend an afternoon with her.

"It's not what you think. It's not anything serious. He's just a friend. A friend I occasionally call when I'm lonely."

Turning his gaze on me, his eyes are filled with sadness and anguish coils through me.

"I'm not gonna lie and tell you that doesn't gut me."

"It's not as if you're innocent in this area, Jones," I say in defense.

He shakes his head. "Of course not. We both know I'm anything but innocent. I just fucking hate that this is where we're at. That we're even having this conversation. You shouldn't be lonely. If that fucker was half a man, he'd know how to pleasure you that you'd never be lonely."

"Gotta say, not where I thought this conversation was gonna go," I admit, gazing at him in wonder.

Jones grips the back of my neck and looks directly at me. "Just tell me you're not going back to Connecticut because of him ."

"Of course not. That's the last thing you need to worry about. Or even think about."

"Good." He takes off his cowboy hat and sets it on the dock next to him.

When he draws me into him and presses his lips to mine with intention, his kisses feel determined. He rears back but still holds me close, and my vision dances back and forth between his finding fire there. Flames lick across my arms and my core throbs.

"I don't care how sore you are from riding that damn horse, when we get back to my place tonight, you're gonna spread those legs and I'm gonna stuff that pussy with my cock. My pussy. And then you're gonna ride me until you forget all about that fucker." His jaw pops. "Promise?"

A lump slides up my throat and I swallow it down. In this moment, I would promise him anything. Probably promise to come back to Maple Ridge for good if he asked.

But he doesn't.

"Promise," I mumble.