6.Still Waters Run Deep

6. Still Waters Run Deep

The quiet of the car is hard to handle on the way back. Music would be too much, but the silence is not enough. The car cruises over the road as the miles pass by in the night.

Samson seems... I have no idea. Quiet, focused on driving. I find myself filling up the silence.

"My people have distrusted and avoided land dwellers for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure what I expected, going back there. They even—they exiled me when I wanted a life on land too."

Samson’s hands tighten on the steering wheel at that. He doesn’t say anything, so I keep going.

"If land dwellers are supposed to be bad or evil or something, then I’m not quite sure how I came to be. My mother won’t say much about my father, but she doesn’t seem scared or angry at him, so... I have no idea." I sigh and look out the window, only seeing the darkness greet me. "I’ve always wondered about humans. The more I found out, I just became more curious and impressed. I’m not sure what frightens the other nymphs so much."

"How long have you been part of our world up here?" he wonders.

"I started sneaking away and watching people in my teens,” I answer. “It wasn’t until I met a caster when I was almost 20 that I actually started getting involved."

"Huh. I wouldn’t know you didn’t grow up here."

“Oh.” Guess that makes sense. “So, the short answer is that it's something about the water; wherever the water we're connected to flows, we pick up the culture quickly. I’d be totally lost if I woke up in, say, Japan, but after just observing near the bay, it was easy to pick up on the language. The nymphs may be afraid of humans, but we're all connected by the water.”

Water connects us, and through it, we absorb knowledge about nearby cultures. Dryads are similar; they absorb information about the surrounding communities by their roots.

I also have good friends who are happy to expose me to movies, food, and classic human experiences.

“Calypso Bay is home," I say next. "It used to be such a calm and peaceful place.”

"Is it different now?"

"It felt strange, off somehow, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. Maybe it was me." My mom told me not to worry… yet I can't shake a feeling of unease. Something is wrong. That’s what my gut says. And I have to know what’s going on. "The landslide is troubling. If something is happening... I can’t just turn my back on the nymphs."

"Even if they did the same to you?"

“They’re my family,” I say. “If I can, I’m going to help."

Calypso Bay may have exiled me, but it still matters to me. If my family is there struggling, I can't pretend it isn't my problem. That's not who I am.

How I’m going to help and figure out what’s wrong, all while not being allowed in Calypso Bay, is still a mystery. I just know that I’m going to do something.

I recognize the upcoming exits on the highway. We’re getting closer to school. I glance at Samson, his face barely illuminated by the dashboard lights as he navigates through the night.

What's he thinking? It hits me just how much I shared with someone who hates me now. He’s a good listener; it was easy to talk to him. Only now do I second-guess myself.

"Sorry. You didn’t ask to hear any of that," I murmur, trying to hide my face against the window.

There’s a brief pause. "No problem."

"No, I can’t believe I just poured my heart out to… to you. Sweet watery god, can I be more pathetic?"

"Funny, I was thinking the same about myself." His voice surprises me, laced with an edge of self-deprecation that seems foreign coming from him.

"Wha—?"

"I blew you off without a word and acted like a total jerk, and you still shared all this with me."

"Guess I needed to share,” I say, my gaze falling to my own hands. “I’m sorry—"

"Argyle, it's okay." When I look up, his eyes meet mine in the mirror above the dash. He struggles to find the words but seems genuine. "I wasn’t thinking about how pathetic you were. I was thinking about how totally brave you are. Brave and kind. Your people kicked you out and you still want to help them. I was an asshole and you’re still talking to me."

"Well, you are helping me out tonight."

"Doesn't make up for how I treated you,” he insists. “But I can try to make up for it now. Let me fill you in, if you want."

I’m stunned. The last thing I was expecting was for him to say nice things about me right now.

“Of course, we don’t have to talk now. Throwing my issues at you may be too much,” he adds when I’m mute.

“No!” I shout, not willing to waste this opportunity. I clear my throat and try again. “Uh, I mean it’s fine. If we’re quiet, I’m just going to be worrying about what’s happening in the bay. If you want to talk about anything, I’ll listen.”

Samson is quiet for a few minutes. Less than 10 minutes from the campus, I wonder if we’ll arrive before he finds his nerve. Then he clears his throat and begins talking.

"Look, I was having a bad night when you saw me at the club. An awful night actually.” He scowls and has to step on the brakes once he realizes he’s sped up without meaning to. “Ran into the last person I wanted to see, and it set me off. Uh, my powers… they aren’t where they should be. Too erratic. They can flare up."

"Is that a fire magic thing?" I guess.

"It’s a me thing—though fire doesn’t make it easier. Most of the time, I try to just take it easy and not let anything get to me. I can do that. It’s only when my emotions get involved that problems occur."

"Emotions, any emotion?"

"Anything strong,” he says, hands clenching the wheel tightly again. So tightly his knuckles are turning white, though his voice is blank. “I only have two options: let the flames take over or shut down entirely. Not a perfect system, I know. Not healthy or sustainable in the long run, but that's where I'm at. When you found me, the fire was on the verge of taking over. I shut you down so I could get out of there. I didn’t want to hurt you or set anything on fire.”

"Oh.” None of this is remotely what I expected. “If it’s just a control issue, why—"

"Then why didn't I tell you? I've never done that before.” He finishes in a whisper, “Never told anyone."

"What, really?"

"My professors know. I’ve shown a few of them and the rest have seen the details included with my transcripts. But I’ve never told anyone that I still struggle so much with control. It’s not really a point of pride."

"Oh. I didn't know." I wince, because obviously I didn't know, but I'm too surprised for a better response.

"I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to just come clean. I’m sorry I hurt you.” He glares at the road ahead, spitting out, “I’m just a barely functional firebrand in training."

The car drifts over the road quietly as I try to process all this. I almost wish we could pull over or I could turn the lights on and look at him. Of course, sharing this seems difficult enough for him already. Maybe the darkness surrounding us in the car makes it easier.

"I was going to try and force out the truth when we were partnered together for tutoring," he continues. "Until you talked about getting the brand so easily. Our situations aren't the same, I know that, but I just felt so inadequate."

"There's no reason to feel that way around me."

"I know. And I know that just because your magic comes more easily, that doesn't mean things are easier for you. You have your own issues, and I feel like a jackass for adding to them. Sorry I didn't tell you."

"You're telling me now," I point out gently.

"You shared with me.” Now he seems almost… shy? “Honestly, um, you inspired me. I blew you off and you still trusted me with your problems. That makes you braver than me, so I wanted to try to start explaining.”

Now I really wish I could see him better. Is he blushing? I force myself to turn and look out the window as the pieces start slotting into place.

When I saw him at Fusions and he told me to stay away—he meant it literally. Stay away or he could burn me if his powers went wild. Afterwards, he was too ashamed to tell me the truth, so he shut me out. I start thinking back on everything that’s happened between us in the past few days, seeing it all in a whole new light.

“The wall of fire in Liam's office,” I realize. “I thought you were just..."

"Being a jerk?" he guesses.

"Something like that. I assumed you created the fire to block me on purpose."

"I don’t blame you. College casters, people my age, we aren’t supposed to have this problem with our preferred element. I'm a special case.”

"Do you mind if I ask, is that safe? Like back at the preserve with the ranger…"

"That was safe,” Samson promises without hesitation. “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought it’d get out of hand. As long as my emotions are under control, I have control."

"Do you lose control often?" I wonder.

"No. Not usually. The wall of fire in Monroe’s office, I haven’t done anything like that in a long time.” The embarrassment at his mishaps transforms to grim determination. “This year has been pretty intense, but I think I've adjusted now. I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping some distance, at shutting down my feelings when they crop up."

At the club and in Liam’s office. He was agitated and off guard. That’s when his powers could react on their own.

Samson can control his powers, but it comes at a steep price. He can only maintain control if he’s calm. It sounds like a heavy burden, needing to keep your emotions in check at all times.

"Oh,” I say finally. “That sounds… not good."

"Like I said,” he gives me a tight smile. “Not a permanent solution but the best option for now."

His hot and cold routine, for lack of a better term, did bother me over the past few days. But I do understand now. Samson also did everything he could to get me home.

Even though it was difficult for him to be honest, he confided in me. He’s trying to fix his mistakes. I’m glad he managed to open up, even if he couldn’t do it immediately.

As we pull up to the campus, Samson wonders where to drop me off. “Do you want to get out here, or should I drop you off somewhere else?”

"No," I answer after a moment's consideration. "You were right earlier. A bit of fresh air might do me good. I'll walk."

When he parks, I open the door and climb out of the Jeep. Not sure how to leave things, I give him a little nod goodbye and turn around to leave before inspiration strikes. It feels right to turn back towards him and tell him one more thing before I leave.

“Hey Samson? I forgive you.”

His eyes widen. "What, really? You don't have to—”

"You made a mistake. I’m glad you trusted me now. And I’m glad you were there for me tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, Samson.”

He looks at me strangely. When he just stares, I start to feel self-conscious and start to shut the Jeep door.

"Sorin," he says.

"What?" I freeze with my hand on the door.

"After everything we've talked about, we should probably be on a first name basis." He meets my eyes with a shy smile. "My first name, it’s Sorin.”

A warmth spreads through me, though I give him an even smile, like we're two people meeting for the first time. “Nice to meet you, Sorin. I’m Argyle. Why don’t we start over and go forward from here?”

He smiles back. “I’d like that.”