Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

" L et's go, Angel," Piper said, as she gathered her toiletries a short time later, hurrying as fast as she could. Any other time, she'd have basked in the chance to indulge in the gorgeous shower and beautiful bathroom, but not today. "I have a date with a woman who believes I'm literally a curse on happiness. Don't want to miss out on that fun time."

Angel wagged her tail happily, making Piper grin. "I have joy envy, Angel. I think I need to come back as a dog."

With Angel at her heels, Piper jogged down the stairs, her hair wet, her feet bare, her toiletries in her arms, still trying to figure out how she was going to handle April.

Still not coming up with an approach she felt would work.

Come on, Piper. You can do this ? —

She ran around the corner, then screamed when Kitty stepped out in front of her. Angel yelped and jumped back beside her.

"Piper!" Declan's mom caught her arm as Piper stumbled backward. "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's fine." Piper took a breath. "Good to see you, Kitty." She instinctively reached down to pat Angel and make sure the dog wasn't scared. "It's okay, sweetie."

Kitty, as always, was dressed to stylish perfection. Her dark hair was short and fashionable, her white pants and high heels flawless, and her white leather jacket was fashion victory. Her artistically styled brows arched as she took in Piper's wet hair and bare feet. "You're sleeping with my son? When did that start? Why didn't I know about that?"

"Sleeping with Declan?" Embarrassment flooded Piper. "Oh, heavens no. I just used his shower. He's destroying mine."

"Is he?" Kitty's eyes sparkled with interest. "His dog loves you. She doesn't trust anyone. You must be around a lot for Angel to trust you."

"What? No. We just bonded tonight." Piper suddenly realized that, given Kitty's attire, she might travel in the same circles as the clientele Piper catered to as a wedding planner. There was a chance Kitty would link Piper to the rumors about the wedding planner with the same name, and Piper didn't want to deal with that. "I have to go. Declan gave me a time limit."

Kitty rolled her eyes. "And you're listening to it? That boy needs a woman to push back, not let him have his way."

"I'm not his woman. I'm his tenant. He tore apart my bathroom without warning, and I needed a shower."

Kitty narrowed her eyes, then sighed. "Dammit. Of course Declan's not sleeping with you. That wouldn't make any sense. A mom just doesn't like to give up, though."

Piper paused. "Why wouldn't it make any sense?"

Kitty shot her a look of surprise. "You don't know?"

Interest piqued through her. "Know what?"

Kitty sighed. "Oh, Piper, the man does like to keep a secret, doesn't he? And he thinks that makes it all go away? It doesn't, you know. It keeps eating away at you until you die from the inside out."

Piper blinked, startled by the sudden, dire turn of the conversation. "What?"

Kitty put her designer handbag on the counter, turned to face Piper, and folded her arms. "I want to hire you."

"For a wedding? You know someone getting married?" Piper wanted to be excited, but she knew that unless she fixed things with April, whoever it was Kitty had in mind wouldn't hire Piper for any price.

She wasn't even sure fixing things with April would be enough, but without April, she had zero chance when her boss returned from her extended family emergency in the morning and walked into the crisis.

"A wedding?" Kitty looked confused. "Why would I hire you for a wedding?"

"I'm a wedding planner."

"Really? I didn't know that. But that's irrelevant." Kitty waved her hand dismissively. "I don't know anyone getting married. I want to hire you to date my son."

"What?" Piper stared at her.

"Date Declan for a month, then break up. What do you say?"

Piper started laughing. "Kitty, there's no chance. There's zero spark between us?—"

"Create one. You're beautiful, vibrant, sassy. Yes, you're not his type, but you're good enough. I'm sure you can become what he needs. How much for a month?"

Not his type? What was his type? Not that it mattered. "Sorry, Kitty. I'm not dating him for money." For a thousand reasons, including the fact that she was done with dating anyone, even fake dating. Plus, dating for money made her an escort, and that…wow…just wow. "No."

"Ten thousand dollars. Would that do it?"

Piper stared at Kitty. "You want to pay me ten thousand dollars to date Declan for a month?"

Kitty nodded. "Plus expenses, of course. I know it'll be work to bring him around, so that includes a hardship fee?—"

"No. God, no." She'd had a lot of strange conversations around romance during her years as a wedding planner, but this might be the weirdest. "I can't help you, Kitty."

"Twenty thousand dollars?"

This conversation was staggering .

"It's not about the money." Piper couldn't imagine toying with anyone's emotions like that. She could never do that, no matter how desperate she was. But she was kind of stunned Kitty lived in a world where she believed money could buy anything, including her son's dating life. Yes, all her clients traveled in those circles, but to experience that in her personal life was a little insane.

Especially because Declan walked around in jeans and t-shirts, most of them paint-splattered. He didn't act or look like money. And yet, his mom was offering twenty grand like it was nothing. Maybe Kitty was insane. Offering money she didn't have. Or maybe Declan was more complicated than Piper knew. Either way, she wasn't getting involved. "Look, Kitty, I need to go. It was great seeing you."

She gave Angel a quick pat, then hurried out the door over Kitty's protests.

Piper jogged across the beautiful grass, barely taking time to notice how soft it was under her feet, then ran down the cute stone stairs that led to the pathway to her house?—

"Watch out!" Declan grabbed her arms, catching her a split second before she crashed into him.

Shock ran through Piper at the feel of his hands on her arms, and she jumped backward. Dammit. His grip felt nice, and that wasn't acceptable. What was wrong with her brain? "Sorry."

Declan was sweaty and dirty, and his t-shirt did little to hide his muscles. She stared at him, suddenly imagining what it would be like to date him. What it would take to get him to look at her like she was a woman and not simply a responsibility, like his yard or his truck? It would probably take a lot. A miracle even. The man didn't seem to have a romantic bone in his well-sculpted body.

He cocked an eyebrow. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Oh, heavens. She cleared her throat. "Nothing. Your mom's inside." Nothing like a guy's mom to wipe out any romantic moods, right?

He swore under his breath and looked past her toward his house. "What's her mood?"

Um… "Fine, I guess." There was no way she was going to get in the middle of his relationship with his mother.

He narrowed his eyes. "Was she rude to you?"

Other than treating her as an escort for hire? "Oh, no. Not at all."

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing." She could see from Declan's face that he was going to march in there and ask his mom what she'd said to Piper. Crap. He was in a grumpy mood, and she had a feeling that if he found out his mom had tried to pay Piper twenty grand to date him, it wouldn't go over well. She had to give him something else to focus on. "It was just a little awkward."

"What was awkward?"

Persistent much? Yeesh. "When I came downstairs and she realized I'd just gotten out of the shower, she thought that…" She paused, grimacing. She and Declan had never even hinted at anything romantic between them, and it felt weird to bring it up.

Understanding flooded his face. "She thought you and I were involved romantically?"

"Yes!" Yay for men who could pick up on subtleties. Well done, Declan.

He sighed. "Sorry about that. She's on a mission to get me to date someone. Anyone."

"Is she?" Piper asked brightly. "I had no idea. But it was fine. Just a moment of awkwardness, but it's all cleared up." She paused. "She was embarrassed by the mistake, so don't say anything to her. We worked it out. We're good."

Declan stared at her. "You're a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying." She tried to duck around him, but he stepped sideways to block her.

"You're my tenant," he said, "which makes you my responsibility. What did my mom say to you? Because clearly, it wasn't okay."

See? She was just like his car. A responsibility. Which was great, because he was just an annoying man who ruined her shower and took her money. Exactly as they both wanted it. "I feel like it's not something I should get involved in."

He didn't say anything. He simply waited.

She didn't have time to wear him down, even though she definitely could. She had a bride to reclaim. So, she gave up trying to spare his gentlemanly sensibilities and told him. "Fine. Your mom offered me money to date you for a month and then break up with you."

Declan got a pained look on his face, but didn't seem surprised. "How much did she offer you?"

"Her last offer was twenty thousand dollars, but I got the vibe I could have gotten more."

"Twenty grand?" He swore again and strode a few feet away, his hands clasped on his head. "Did you say yes?"

"God, no. You're my grumpy landlord." Had she been tempted? No. Had she started thinking of him in a way that she never wanted to again? Unequivocally yes. "Dating you would be like dating a plant."

His brows shot up. "A plant?"

"Yeah, like a rose bush. Really pretty to look at, but armed with thorns or hired bee assassins."

He put his hands on his hips. "You wouldn't date a plant for twenty grand?"

"No. I don't need the money that badly." She paused. "Actually, I'd probably date a plant for that much," she admitted. "I mean, how bad could it be?"

Declan grinned. "So, you'd date a plant, but not me?"

"That's correct. Yes. I am not interested in dating humans at this time, especially not ones where there is no romantic spark whatsoever. If we ever kissed, it would probably be like kissing a jellyfish, and who wants that?"It would definitely not be like kissing a jellyfish, but she was going to set her boundaries nicely and give them lots of love.

"A jellyfish?" he echoed. "I'm very offended. I'm a great kisser."

Something flickered inside her at all the kissing talk. "I'm sure you're a great kisser. It's not your skill. It's the lack of chemistry between us. No amount of skill can overcome a complete lack of romantic attraction." Right? Of course, right.

He raised his brows. "Most women tell me I'm a good-looking guy."

Piper started laughing. "Oh, God, now you're just being annoying. You know what I meant! I'm sure you'd experience the jellyfish vibe if we kissed, and I'm also a great kisser. It is what it is. Can you deny it?"

He studied her. "I like how you smell."

She blinked. "What?"

"You smell like flowers. I like it. So maybe it wouldn't be like two jellyfish making out."

Again, a little flip of her belly. "It would definitely be jellyfish, and let's leave it at that. I don't want to date anyone, and I don't need you trying to mess with my mind." She gave him a little wave and ducked around him. "Bye."

She didn't turn around as she scooted back to her house, but she felt him watching her, all the way until she closed the door behind her.

The moment it was shut, she leaned back against it, closed her eyes, and let out her breath. After two years of jellyfish vibes, she was now thinking of Declan in a way she didn't want to deal with. Like a dateable, yummy dessert.

Damn Kitty and Declan. And her friends.

Between the lot of them, Piper suddenly couldn't stop thinking of what it would be like to kiss Declan…and it wouldn't be jellyfish. It would be hot, dangerous, and consuming.

Oy.

The last thing Piper needed was to think of him as a man. She was going to have to stop it immediately. Her life was just too complicated for dating, let alone dating the guy who held her home hostage in his callused, landlordy hands.

She needed to get the image of Declan's shirtless perfection out of her head before she found herself tempted to accept his mom's offer.

Before the offer, Declan had been no more than a grumpy landlord, but his mom's proposal had changed the vibe to visions of sweaty biceps and shared showers, and Piper didn't appreciate it one bit.