3. Stella

Chapter Three

STELLA

I was relieved Holly was at the ER. I really liked her. She was sharp and a little bossy. I’d met her through Tish.

“Just a sec, I’m about to use some numbing spray,” Holly said. “It’ll feel cool and then you won’t feel much. If you’re worried about the burn, it’s not so bad. The main thing is to keep it clean.”

The tension eased in my shoulders as the numbing spray did its job. I could feel her briskly cleaning the back of my neck. Needing a distraction, I asked, “Is Nate a firefighter?” With Willow Brook the hub for four hotshot crews, there were firefighters aplenty. Holly’s husband was often with many of the other firefighters I’d met around town.

Holly snorted. “Nate’s a pilot, but I understand why you’d ask. There are a lot of firefighters around, too many. Nate has a contract with the state to ferry them out to fires. That’s not the only flying he does, but it sure keeps him busy during the summer.”

I could feel her carefully placing a bandage over the area she’d just cleaned. “You’re all set. I’m not a hairdresser, but do you want me to trim away the burnt ends?”

“How bad does it look?”

Another nurse came into the room. Holly ran her fingers through my hair, holding it to the side for me to see. “Just a few singed ends.” She glanced toward the other nurse. “I was asking if she wanted me to trim them off.”

The nurse smiled, her eyes warm. “I’ll help. I used to cut my kids’ hair.”

“Go for it.”

Moments later, they said I was good to go after the doctor on duty cleared me. It really didn’t take that long at all. Holly waved me off and assured me she’d see me in a little while.

Hudson was waiting in the lobby. When I saw him, my belly flipped over and my pulse rocketed. With his rumpled brown hair and intense green gaze, it was almost hard to look into his eyes.

“How you doing?” he asked when I stopped in front of him.

“Fine.” My breath felt a little shaky.

It felt weird to have him here. I didn’t have any family here to wait for me. I ignored the achy twist of my heart at that train of thought.

“Ready to go have some trashcan turkey?” he asked lightly.

I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded. When we reached his truck, he held the door for me. As I started to climb in, I turned around abruptly, startled that he was right there. But, of course, he was. “Thank you!” I blurted.

“Of course.” His eyes coasted over my face.

I swallowed, trying to gather my wits. “You hardly know me, but you made sure I didn’t get burned worse than I could’ve because I was kind of panicking. Then, you took me here, so… Just, thank you.”

He stared into my eyes. For a split second, I felt a powerful pull toward him, almost visceral. I had to check myself. I could feel my body leaning in his direction.

“No problem,” he finally said, his voice a little gruff.

My hand was curled on the inside door handle, and my breath was a little short while my pulse galloped along. Flustered, I turned, bumping into him with enough force that I lost my balance. Hudson steadied me, one of his hands landing on my hip.

“Take it easy,” he said.

My pulse went wild all over again. By some miracle, I got into the passenger seat. When he started driving, I felt like the space around us was lit with a charge.

I got busy telling myself to get it together. I didn’t need to be having the hots for Hudson. Relationships were a terrible idea for me. I couldn’t even manage something casual because I ended up feeling desperate, desperate for someone, anyone, to commit. It never worked out.

A therapist had explained to me that my relationship patterns were a form of repetition compulsion. I was compulsively drawn to men who were similar to the men my mom dated. In short, unreliable and flaky. My nervous system recognized them. I was drawn to the familiar and unconsciously kept hoping it would turn out differently.

This fiery chemistry with Hudson was a sure sign I should stay far away. That way lay the abyss of emotional desperation, of falling in love too fast when I didn’t even know what love was.

When he pulled to a stop at Tish’s house, I practically ran like I was on fire to get inside and avoid him.