12. Chapter 12

"JJ—"

"Don't touch me, Dean!" My heart shatters into smithereens when Jeyla recoils from my touch and looks at me with those devastated eyes that are drowning with tears. I simply can't find the words to express how broken I feel inside when I see the devastation on her face, knowing I'm the cause of her pain yet again. "I don't want to hear your goddamn empty promises. You've been back one day… one day , Dean, and look at the destruction you've caused my life again. Look at the state of me!"

What am I supposed to say in response to that? How can I possibly defend myself when I know she's right deep down?

"JJ, I swear to you, I did everything in my power to keep you and DJ out of this mess. Do you think I wanted any of this? You think my insides aren't torn apart knowing that son of a bitch has my son."

Jeyla curls her fingers in her hair as she continues to pace the length of the living room. I can tell she's in pain because she winces whenever she takes a step with her left foot. "You're torn apart," She shakes her head and turns to face me again. "You've been his dad for five minutes, Dean! I almost died carrying him. I spent weeks by his bedside in the neonatal unit after he was born, sleep-deprived, too scared to fall asleep in case I would wake up and find I had lost him, too. Do you know how it feels to live with that fear every second of every day? We both fought and barely made it through, and now my baby is all alone, terrified in the hands of some cold-blooded arms dealer who is… God, he's probably torturing him for all we know, and no one is doing anything!" Jeyla sobs hysterically. "Why haven't we heard anything, it's been hours."

Slowly, I shuffle over to Jeyla. "JJ, please baby, just calm down…"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" She weeps, planting her hands on my chest and forcefully shoves me away from her. "You promised you would protect us. You said we were safe. Where were you when they ripped our son out of my arms, huh? I can still hear him screaming, Dean. My baby is gone… he's gone, and it's all your fault." My eyes close when she thumps her fists against my chest. "You took him from me," she shoves me back again. "He was all I had left, and you took him from me."

"JJ, I'm sorr?—"

Jeyla shakes her head in forlornly, her once bright eyes now filled with an endless stream of tears that fall freely down her face. She looks up at me, broken and defeated, her voice barely above a whisper. It's as if all the life has been drained from her. "—I prayed for you to come back day and night... but now I wish you had stayed dead."

My heart twists painfully at her words, a sharp sting deep inside my chest. Despite knowing she doesn't truly mean it, the weight of her anger still hits me like a freight train straight through the heart. I can't bear to see the despair in those beautiful green eyes that used to shine with such love and joy. The thought of something happening to DJ fills me with a deep sense of dread and guilt. I could never forgive myself if he were hurt or worse. And Jeyla... I can't even imagine how devastated she would be. She wouldn't survive that kind of loss. Just the weight of the possibility hangs heavy between us, the silence almost suffocating in its intensity.

Just then, my phone begins to ring, the sound breaking through the tense atmosphere like a sudden clap of thunder. Even though it's just my phone vibrating in my pocket, it feels like the whole room is shaking with its urgency.

No one has this number but the military, so I hurriedly pull it out of my pocket and see that it's an unknown number. I recognise the military prefix, confirming my assumption, so I quickly answer it.

"Reyes."

"Captain Reyes?" The voice that comes from the other end of the line is deep and commanding, instantly conveying the authority of its owner. The rich tones resonate with years of experience and leadership, making it clear that this person is someone of high importance.

"Yes?" I reply, keeping my tone respectful.

"Lucas Aaron Bennet," the voice continues, "I'm the Marshal of the Air Force."

My heart sinks as I realize the gravity of the situation. Lucas Bennet is a legend in our ranks. Everyone knows of him, and for him to personally call me means that shit has seriously hit the fan.

"Yes, I know, sir." I answer, keeping my tone respectful even though every inch of me is shaking with anger. "It's an honour to be speaking to you."

"I wish I were calling you under better circumstances," he begins, his voice heavy with regret. There's a brief pause, and I hear him exhale slowly. "Chief Scott has filled me in on everything that's been happening with the Lukin case. First, let me extend my deepest regrets to you and your family for the abduction of your son. I wanted to reach out personally and assure you that I will be overseeing this case from here on out."

His tone is calm, but I can sense the underlying urgency. "I understand this is incredibly distressing for you and your family. We're mobilizing a response team right now, and I need you back at base so we can go through our plan of action. You've spent months with Lukin, embedded in his organization. That's why your insights are crucial. We need every detail you can provide so we can bury that son of a bitch once and for all."

My stomach churns with a mix of fear and determination. "We've already begun tracking Lukin's movements. We don't have a clear location yet, but we will soon. We have intelligence and the special forces unit are here and ready to go."

My eyes dart over to Jeyla, who is watching me closely, worry etched on her face. "Sir, I appreciate that, I do, but I can't just up and leave my wife, especially now…"

"Captain, you and I both know the only way to protect your wife is to get her to a safehouse. I've instructed Sergeant Hudson and his team to personally take her someplace safe and off the grid until we resolve this."

Shaking my head, I pinch the bridge of my nose hard to ease the tension I can feel throbbing in my head. "With all due respect, sir, I was assured that no harm would come to my family. I was told they would be safe and look how well that turned out. I put my trust in the system, and now that mother fucker has my son. So, you can understand why I will not make the same mistake twice."

Jeyla steps closer, and every time I see the pain in her eyes, the anger and frustration inside me boils over.

"Dean," Marshal Bennet's voice softens slightly. "I understand your anger. Believe me, I do. That's why we're pulling out all the stops. But I need you to get your head straight and focused. Getting your family to safety is the first step. Then we can go after Lukin with everything we've got. We only have one shot at getting this right."

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "Sir, I'm requesting permission to escort Sergeant Hudson and his team to the safehouse. Until I see that Jeyla is safe and protected, I will not be able to focus."

There's a pregnant pause before he speaks. "Very well, Captain. Get your family safe, then get to base. We have a lot of work to do."

"Understood. I'll be there," I reply, my voice resolute.

The call ends, and I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the battle ahead. Lukin has no idea what's coming for him. I'm going to strip the life out of that son of a bitch with my bare hands or die trying.

"Who was that?" Jeyla asks.

"Marshal of the Air Force. He's the highest-ranking officer in the Air Force."

"What did he say?" Jeyla asks watching me closely as I stuff the phone back in my pocket and walk over to her. "Is there any news about DJ? Have they found him?"

I sigh, shaking my head, "No, not yet, but they're working on it. He called to tell me he's been made aware of the situation and assured me that he's going to do whatever it takes to get our son back." I assert and watch as the tiny speck of hope that appears in her eyes vanishes and once again a look of gut-wrenching sorrow takes its place.

"You told him that you would be there? Where are you going?"

"I need to head back to base." Jeyla stares at me mutely for a moment, so I continue. "But first I need to make sure you're taken someplace safe. There's a car with a highly trained team of officers waiting outside so I need you to pack a bag so we can head out."

"What?" Jeyla's green eyes narrow and she shakes her head almost vehemently. "No, I'm not going anywhere."

"JJ," I sigh as I take a step toward her. "Please, listen to me, you've seen first-hand what I'm up against. You could have been killed trying to stop them. There is no knowing what Lukin and his men are going to do next. I'm not putting you at risk. I need you someplace safe so I can focus on getting our son back, all right? Oz will go with you so you're not alon?—"

"No Dean, I'm not going to a damn safehouse. I'm coming with you."

I can feel my annoyance mounting, so much so that my temples start to throb in agitation. "No, you're not coming with me. You're going to a fucking safehouse where you'll be safe and protected."

"Do I look like I give a shit about my safety right now, Dean? My son has been ripped away from me and you're standing there talking about a fucking safehouse. I'm coming with you."

"Jeyla, I'm heading back to base for an operation. Not only is it too dangerous for you to come with me, you're also a civilian; civilians are not allowed at the airbase. Stop being stubborn, listen to me and go pack a bag." When she stares back at me with those heated, defiant eyes and makes no move to do as she's told, I growl. "Now!"

"I said no!" She fires back hotly. "I'm not one of your cadets, Captain , you can't just bark orders at me and expect me to blindly obey. You either take me with you or so help me God I will find my own way there, even if it means I die trying."

My scowl deepens at her defiance, the familiar surge of electricity between us sparking once again. "Don't push me, Jeyla," I warn through gritted teeth. "I will have them take you away by force and keep you locked away until the threat is dealt with. I'll die before risking your life again, do you understand me?"

"Try it and see what happens." Jeyla hisses, staring up into my eyes defiantly. If we weren't in the shit situation we are in now, there is only one way we would be settling this fight.

"You're challenging me like I won't throw you over my shoulder and stuff you in that fucking car kicking and screaming." I speak slow and keep my tone low as I step into her space, forcing her to tip her head back as she peers up at me. "You underestimate the lengths I'm willing to go to ensure that you're safe, JJ."

"While my baby is in the hands of the man who wants you dead what does my safety even matter? You can't just ship me off to God only knows where and ask me to sit around on my thumbs while he's out there somewhere, scared and alone Dean. I won't do it." She glowers at me. "If you truly want to make up for the hell you've put me through, now is your chance. I'm either coming with you or I'll sit and wait here, if they come and kill me so fucking be it."

"Are you not listening to me? Or are you deliberately being difficult to test my fucking patience?" My voice is sharp, cutting through the tense air like a knife. "They will not allow a civilian to walk into the heavily guarded airbase. There are strict procedures that need to be followed, JJ. I can't just casually stroll in with you."

Jeyla's face flushes with anger as she retorts, "Then ask them to make an exception, Dean! Given the dire circumstances and considering they are responsible for our baby's abduction, I'm sure they can find a way to bend the rules this once." Her fists clench at her sides in frustration. The tension between us is so thick it's sucking the air right out of the room.

Fucking Christ, I love the girl to death, but she can be downright exasperating when she's in one of her tenacious moods. Usually, I would get off on every second of it, but this isn't one of our usual fights that we can settle with a fuck. The safety and wellbeing of our child is in question. The determination roaring deep in her eyes tells me she's not about to back down. I could have her taken forcibly, but the last thing I want is to cause her more distress and for her to hate me more than she already does.

I know Jeyla better than I know myself, there's no talking her down when she's set her mind to something. Not that I can blame her. She's a mother after all. What force is stronger than a mother's concern for her child?

"Dean." Jeyla's tone goes from angry to pleading in a matter of seconds when she likely picks up on my turmoil. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? At least if she's at the airbase I can keep an eye on her and it would be the safest place for her.

"We leave in ten minutes. Pack a bag." I tell her before I turn to walk out of the room to call my superiors and inform them that Jeyla will be coming with me.

Fuck my life.

That's going to be a fun conversation. I'm fortunate that Jeyla has been somewhat kind to my bollocks, my COA on the other hand will show no such empathy at having a civilian at his airbase, especially while we're amid preparing for an important operation.

"I need you to go and join mum, dad and Ash in the safehouse until this is over." The urgency in my voice is palpable as I speak to my brother on the phone. With a sigh, I lean against my car, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

"All right, send me the details and I'll pack up a bag and go as soon as I get home." Oscar's reply comes through the speaker, his voice laced with concern despite his best effort to conceal it.

While Jeyla was giving her statement about what happened, Oscar had been with Lex at the vet arranging for his cremation. It makes my stomach churn with guilt knowing I'm responsible for him getting shot. I mean, Lex was doing what any loyal dog would have done and protected his owner. I just wish it hadn't cost him his life. I bought him as a three-month anniversary gift for Jeyla, but now, just a year later, he's gone. Just another thing that Jeyla loved and has been tragically taken from her.

"Do you really think it's wise to be taking Jeyla with you, Dean?" Oscar questions, breaking through my thoughts. I look over at Jeyla sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat and shake my head.

"No, it's not wise at all. If I had my way she would be as far away as I could possibly have her from all of this," I admit with a heavy sigh. "But you know how infuriatingly stubborn Jeyla can be when she's set her mind on something. At least she'll be safe at the airbase, and I can keep an eye on her."

"How is she?"

With a resigned sigh I stare at the empty road ahead. "Not great," I affirm sadly. "I think she hates me more now than ever, and rightfully so. It kills me to see her so devastated and I feel so fucking helpless."

"Jeyla can't hate you, Dean. You could tie her up, douse her in petrol and set her on fire, and she would still forgive you. What you saw today is only the tip of the iceberg of what Jeyla had to endure every single day after she was told you had died."

"She told me she wished that I had stayed dead." Just recalling those words sends a pain through my heart.

"Come on Dean, you know she doesn't mean that."

"I know that." I reply, unable to hold back annoyance. Does he really believe he knows her better than I do? "Doesn't make it hurt any less though. Even if her feelings and resentment are completely justified, hearing those words from the woman you love still cuts deep."

"Yeah, I'm sure it does," Oz coincides. "But you can't hold anything she says in a moment of grief against her, Dean. When she calms down, she'll apologise. Or you'll find a way to make her. You always do."

If only it were that simple, but it's not. Not this time.

The car ride is quiet as we drive down the winding roads, the only sound being the soft purr of the engine. We haven't spoken a word in almost ten miles when suddenly, Jeyla's voice breaks through the silence.

"Dean," she says, her tone hesitant.

I glance at her before looking at the road again, waiting for her to continue.

"I want you to teach me how to use a gun."

My eyes widen in surprise, and I fix her with a side long stare. The fuck did she just say? Did I just hear her correctly?

"You want me to what?" I ask, needing clarification.

Jeyla's determination grows stronger, her tone an octave higher and tinged with a touch of annoyance as she repeats herself. "I want you to teach me how to use a gun."

"Yeah, I thought that's what I heard you say," I reply with a shake of my head. "And over my dead body are you touching a gun."

"Why the hell not?" Jeyla argues back, shifting in her seat to face me directly.

My fingers tighten on the steering wheel as frustration simmers within me. "What possible reason would you need to know how to use a gun, JJ?"

Jeyla's green eyes narrow as she meets my gaze with an unwavering stare. "Oh, well let's see," she responds sarcastically, "a bunch of armed men busted through my front door, took my son and shot my dog. I'm thinking I could use some protection in case any more enemies of yours decide they want to pay us a visit."

I can't exactly deny the logic behind her argument, but it still doesn't sit right with me. "What do you think this is, the bloody States?" I snap. "You can't just walk into a shop and buy a firearm here, JJ. It's illegal and it can be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Do you think it's easy pulling that trigger and taking another person's life? Whether they are the bad guys or not that shit stays with you. Are you prepared to live with that?"

Jeyla's jaw clenches as she retorts, her voice sharp and edged with frustration. "I need to feel safe in my own home, Dean. Which I no longer do. Besides, you have a gun, why can't I use one of yours?"

I can't believe I'm even having this conversation with her. Jeyla owning a gun? It's out of the fucking question.

"You can't just use my gun. I'm an aviation officer, my gun is registered to me. I'm not driving around with an arsenal in my trunk, JJ. I'm also fully trained in handling guns and heavy artillery. I had to undergo years of extensive training and certification to carry and use it responsibly." I remind her. "You're a civilian, one that has no business owning or even touching a firearm."

Jeyla's eyes soften slightly, but her resolve remains. "So, what am I supposed to do Dean? Just sit around and keep my fingers crossed another one of your enemies don't target us again? How am I supposed to protect our son?"

I draw in a deep breath, weighing her concerns carefully. "JJ, I understand your apprehensions sweetheart, but using a gun is not the only option for your safety. We can explore other avenues that don't involve breaking the law or putting you in further danger. And let's be realistic, it's not like I have a never-ending list of assailants hunting me down every other week. It's just one guy."

Jeyla's voice is tight and tense as she speaks, her angry eyes fixed firmly on me. "It's just one guy now ," she states. "But you're an officer in the Royal Airforce, Dean. The chances of something like this happening again are high, aren't they? You're constantly being deployed to dangerous missions, always at risk of becoming the target of some other arms dealer or terrorist." She takes in a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves before speaking again. "Who's to say you won't encounter someone else like this in the future?"

"I'm not saying there isn't a risk, JJ, of course there is. We face risks everywhere we go, every single day, but that doesn't mean you need to get a gun in order to feel like you're safe. I can teach you self-defence. We can get you pepper spray?—"

"Pepper spray?" Jeyla intones incredulously. "You want me to season someone to death?"

I turn my head to look at her sideways, not in the least bit amused. "Do you have any idea how painful it is to have pepper spray in your eyes? That shit will blind your assailant long enough for you to get away."

This conversation goes on for another hour until I finally manage to convince her that I can teach her some basic self-defence manoeuvrers that will disable anyone of any size trying to attack her in seconds. I can tell she's not convinced, but she's dropped the gun issue, so I'll take it as a win.