13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Holland

Once I'm in the truck, I rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I need a few seconds.

I close my eyes and put my hand on my chest, needing to make sure I'm not going into panic attack territory. I felt much more confident when I was with Ivy, because my mind had something to do. Now, the interaction comes back in pieces—I don't fight it.

My stomach drops when I think of the look on Ivy's face, when she explained how finding those papers made her question if I still loved, or wanted, her. I hate that this is one of the first things she puts on herself when something like this happens. It's almost like a programmed piece in the woman I love, and in this moment, all I want to do is my very best to not ever put her in that position again.

No more secrets. Not only for her, but for me. This whole thing could end up being positive, but the way I went about it only made everything feel dark and like a potential enemy.

I take in a deep breath, hold, and exhale. The sound of the heavy rain, and what sounds like some ice, hitting the truck help me relax.

Ice. Fuck.

I open the weather app for an update. My phone screen turns red, the banner at the top scrolling with both a winter weather and blizzard warning. When I view the radar, it's obvious we'll get snow but it won't start for another few hours. I'm confident I have time to check in with Bea before going into town to get supplies.

I put the truck in drive as I head back to the lodge. Even if Mackenzie is all over this, I want to check in and make sure there's nothing I can help with.

One of the major upgrades Hazel completed at the lodge was for storms like this. She redid some of the electrical work, running it underground, to help keep power outages to a minimum. If it does go out, there's some ridiculously high-tech generators and things to keep the lodge powered, to an extent. There have only been a handful of times the power has went out, since I've taken over, and it was never for more than an hour.

When I walk into the lobby, I see Bea directing someone with extra blankets. When we get snow, we always hand out these plush, almost velvet, blankets to the rooms. Typically, it's an ambience thing, but if we get as much snow as they're predicting, we want to make sure everyone is comfortable.

"Holland, hope you have a sled for Slate!" she jokes as soon as she sees me.

"How's it going?" I ask, taking in the scene around me.

"Great! Mackenzie has the staff bringing in extra wood for all the fireplaces in the common areas. We did some rearranging, putting as many spots in those areas in case we do lose power," Bea says and I can't help but smile at the snowflake headband she's wearing.

"That's a really good idea," I reply as the staff moves around us, not panicking, but getting things done. I love that all of this started happening without me telling anyone to do it .

"We did an extra food run. Chef has been cooking, and baking, all day. Premade meals and snacks are ready, in case we need them," she explains and I breathe in the smell of fresh bread.

"Don't forget to grab all the cards and board games, put those in the shared areas." The worst part when anyone loses power is they don't know what to do with themselves. When their phones die, it's like no one knows how to act.

Bea nods and writes something down on a sticky note. "I think we're all good here. You ready at your place?"

"Going to town to get gas for the generator and grab some extra groceries. We've got everything else we need."

Bea comes over to me, out from behind the desk, and wraps me up in a hug. "You usually stay here with us, so make sure to let me know you're okay." She goes back to the desk, grabbing a radio, and handing it to me. "And, if you take Slate outside, I want a picture!" She winks before turning back to the front desk, like she has a thousand things to do.

"You got it, Bea. Please keep me updated, even if you and Mackenzie have it under control." I point at her, because I mean it.

Bea nods, giving a thumbs up, before her eyes are back down on her to-do list, getting to the next thing. While I walk back out to my truck, I stop. I'm standing in the rain, wind still whipping around, but I'm proud. The lodge is going to be just fine, no one was panicking, and they don't need me to make sure things are taken care of. It's a good feeling to build something like this.

I quickly get into the truck, eager for something to block the wind. Once the heat hits my face, I almost smile before putting the truck in drive. On to the next thing on my to do list.