Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

J ames's heart was a drum within his ear. He had been holding Sarah for almost two hours, thinking about every moment spent with her over the last week. James had wanted to resist making love to her, but once they kissed earlier, all his resistance crumbled.

For three years, I held myself back.

He couldn't recall ever feeling this level of pleasure with a lover. Her soft sigh of satisfaction pierced his chest, and she stirred, her lashes fluttering open. Joy sparked in the depths of her gaze when their eyes met, and unable to suppress the need, James kissed her. Sarah eagerly parted her lips, and their tongues sensually glided against each other. She touched his face with shaking fingers, and when their mouths parted, Sarah smiled and murmured, "That was wonderful."

Too wonderful , he silently agreed.

A light chuckle escaped from her. "I now know why some cannot wait for marriage and take lovers, and why we have rogues and scoundrels."

Still feeling dispossessed, James rolled onto his back, and she followed, sitting atop him. Sarah leaned forward and brushed her mouth over his. "You look like a man who has been caught in the act of debauchery."

"You were a virgin," he said gruffly.

Her eyes gleamed with rich humor. "Well, you are my first lover. I daresay it was expected."

Something in her tone suggested he would not be the last, and something savage surged through his heart. The little minx arched a brow, her eyes laughing at him. This was why he did not take ladies of quality to his bed. In all his three and thirty years of living, James had never wondered what was next after romping with a lover. None were debutantes or virgins. The rules of the ton said he was obligated to offer for Sarah once they were intimate.

"Remember," she whispered, brushing another soft kiss at the corner of his mouth, "I will not be proposing to you."

He grunted, wondering when he had ever been so damn transparent with his feelings. "What do you expect, Sarah?"

"Perhaps my convictions are beyond your understanding."

James arched a brow. "I am listening."

"I want to be your lover," she said softly, "your friend and confidant. Would I want to marry you ... yes, because, with every emotion in my heart, I have long fallen in love with you. I am not afraid to admit my affection, James."

Sarah snatched the breath from his lungs, and he gripped her hips involuntarily, staring at her with a sense of shock pounding through his body. Her eyes filled with love and determination, James felt a fierce protectiveness and a longing to make her happy. The thought of her being with another man, of her laughter and joy belonging to someone else, was unbearable.

Her lovely face softened. "I do not expect you to marry me because I seduced you. I would only anticipate an offer if I were assured that you are also in love with me."

I am already falling.

The thought so shocked James that he twisted, rolling her underneath his body and slamming his mouth against hers. Their kiss felt wild and untamed, and the hunger that flamed through his soul for Sarah made him feel greedy. She moaned, and he swallowed it, parting her legs with his knee. James braced on his elbow, tucked his cock at her sex and surged slow and deep inside her. Sarah's moan was swallowed by his hungry kisses.

James pulled his mouth from hers, breathing raggedly. "Wrap your legs around my back."

Sarah slid her hands around his nape, arched her hips and hooked her legs high around his hips.

"James," she gasped as the shift allowed him to sink his cock to the hilt.

He groaned at the exquisite feel of her. Slowly working his hips, he thrust his cock inside her. Over and over, he retreated and plunged, stoking her pleasure higher and hotter. Her nails sank into his shoulders, and she ripped her mouth from his to suck at the flesh at his throat. Pinpricks of pleasure tightened his balls, and James snapped his hips harder. Her moans vibrated against his throat, and the soft whisper of his name inexplicably made his lust burn hotter.

He swallowed her soft cry as she unraveled once again. James did not greedily chase the lust burning him alive, telling him to take her hard and rough. He loved her with a gentleness and depth of emotion he hadn't thought himself capable of feeling for anyone. These were emotions he did not know how to name, for James had never felt them before. Sarah cried out, convulsing as she orgasmed. Her pussy clenched so tightly on his cock that he climaxed long before he was ready. He barely managed to pull from her sex to release outside of her body.

Bloody hell .

James was not entirely sure what he was feeling, but at this moment he never wanted to release the woman in his arms. Sarah's gaze was steady, filled with warmth and a dare. The intensity of his cravings rattled him, and James realized how deeply she had affected him in such a short time.

No, for the last three years she has been a shadow in my heart.

He could not escape the awareness that he wanted to know everything about her, to share every moment and experience together.

Her stomach rumbled and she grinned sheepishly.

"Let's go downstairs," he said softly. "We need to prepare the fish we caught for dinner."

They dressed quickly, and James held her hand as they descended the stairs, their fingers intertwined. The air in the kitchen was cool and welcoming. They set to work cleaning the fish, the task simple yet intimate. Sarah's laughter filled the room as she struggled initially with the slippery fish, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Here, let me show you," he said, moving behind her and guiding her hands with his. He felt the warmth of her body against his, the scent of her hair filling his senses.

How did I manage to resist you for so long?

"Like this?" she asked, turning her head slightly to look at him, her cheek brushing against his.

"Exactly," he said, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

They worked side by side, chatting about everything and nothing. James shared stories of his childhood, while Sarah recounted amusing tales of her friends and family. Once the fish were cleaned, they moved to the earthen stove. James showed her how to season the fish and arrange them on the roasting rack. The smell of fresh herbs and spices filled the kitchen, mingling with the scent of roasting fish.

"Do you cook for yourself in Penporth?"

"No. We have a cook and a housekeeper."

"Why did you learn?"

"Mere curiosity," he said with a chuckle. "If I was curious about the stars, I walked for miles, sleeping out in the woods so I could watch the night sky. It has always been my nature to explore anything I wonder about."

"I like that," she said wistfully, flashing him a smile so lovely his heart wrenched.

As they waited for the fish to cook, they sat at the kitchen table, their hands still occasionally brushing against each other. James felt a profound sense of contentment, a feeling that had been foreign to him for so long. He watched Sarah as she spoke, her eyes animated and her gestures lively. He was captivated by her, not just by her beauty but by the essence of who she was.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Sarah asked, a teasing smile playing on her lips.

James chuckled. "How could I forget? You peered down at me, though I am taller than you are. It must have been the effect of those lovely spectacles. You were so angry with me for not noticing you at Lady Worthington's ball."

Sarah laughed, the sound musical. "I thought you were the most arrogant and outrageous flirt I had the misfortune to overhear charming a lady. Only you were so dashingly handsome you also made my heart race."

"And now?" he drawled teasingly, tugging her to sit in his lap.

Sarah slipped her hand around his nape. "Now, I think you are the most compelling man I've ever known."

"God, you're beautiful," he said.

It physically hurt to crave her this much. It made no sense to James, for she was right here with him, yet there was this insistent thumping in his heart for more. James kissed her, swallowing her soft, delighted laugh.

When the fish was finally ready, they plated their meal and sat down to eat, savoring the fruits of their labor. The fish was perfectly roasted, tender and flavorful.

"This is delicious," Sarah said, her eyes shining. "You must cook this for me again, James!"

James smiled. "I will."

They lingered over their meal, talking and laughing as the fire in the stove burned down to embers. As the night wore on, they played cards and a game of chess. When they finally made their way back upstairs, James held her in his arms, and started to make love with Sarah once more, a most peculiar realization filling his heart. He felt he could spend every day with her for twenty years and not know exactly how her mind worked, but somehow, each revelation would be a treasure.