1. Emily

1

EMILY

B uddy’s frantic barks fill the car, echoing off the metal and cutting through the chaos whirling in my mind. My foot presses against the gas, hurtling us down the road, trees and rotters blurring past as if we were traveling at the speed of light.

If only. How convenient that would be. We’d already be back with Zoey by now. Nestled inside a colony that doesn’t want me, after running away from three guys who did. But I can’t let those thoughts cloud my mind.

“Don’t worry, boy. We’ll be home soon, I promise.” As if he can sense the tension radiating off me, he leans his massive head against my shoulder, his warm breath fanning over my hand as I grip the wheel tighter. I swipe a stray tear from my cheek, surprised by it. Crying over this? That’s ridiculous. It’s better this way. Even if they wanted to come with me, the colony wouldn’t let them in. And it’s not like I would’ve left everything behind to stay with them, braving this wasteland day after day. That was never even a thought.

Right?

Or…was it?

I bite down hard, keeping my eyes forward. No matter how hard I try to convince myself, it’s still a lie. The truth digs deeper with every mile. Going back to the guys after delivering these vials to Zoey—that was what I’d been looking forward to most. The only thing I could look forward to anymore. The colony’s safety and structure are fine, but it’s lifeless. There’s no thrill, no beating pulse. Not like with them. With the three of them, I woke up each day with a sense of purpose, of excitement. People I looked forward to seeing every morning when I opened my eyes. The feeling of being alive. Now I’ll never know what could have been.

“This is bullshit.” I hastily wipe away tears that blur my vision. “I don’t have time to fall apart.”

Buddy whines, nudging my hand. I reach over and run my fingers through his fur. “Good boy,” I murmur, letting his warmth soak in, grounding me enough to keep it together. His whimper settles into a soft whine, and he presses his head against my palm, his healed eye socket warm under my hand. He’s solid, dependable. The one constant I have left. Funny how that happened.

I’ve never had a Belgian Malinois before. He’s a good-sized dog and fits in the passenger seat without a problem. Well, sort of. He whacks me with his butt when he turns around. Still, he’s the best thing to have come out of all of this. He makes this heartbreak worth it. After all, who needs three strong, protective guys when I can have a dog instead?

Not me, that’s who.

The feel of his fur against my skin helps calm my racing heart. Now it’s only thudding a painful rhythm against my chest, rather than cracking me open from the inside.

A knot tightens in my chest, and I think back to everything that’s led us here. I should have known better. I knew how disastrous this could blow up, and yet…I’d considered leaving everything behind to join them. Griffin’s talk of building something new, a place to belong, convinced me it wa s possible. We could have done it. Instead, I got tossed aside and thrown out like trash, like always. Like how everyone else in that colony treats me. At least Nathan never pretended to be anything he wasn’t. He told me he was a bad guy when I met him; it was my mistake that I didn’t believe him. But Griffin? He acted like he was different. That I could trust him. Then one whisper, one accusation, and he drops me without a second thought. And the worst part? They made me fall for them first, the bastards.

Damn them all.

Buddy’s bark snaps me back, a welcome intrusion, and I look up and jerk the steering wheel to straighten out. The road comes back into view and I’m no longer seeing the faces of betrayal and my heart shattering in the mud. Instead, I see a rotter shuffling into view, stumbling across the asphalt right in front of us. I yank the wheel again, swerving hard, but another rotter appears up ahead. I turn again, clipping the side of a tree.

The sunset fills my vision in a burst of colors—so many pretty colors—almost blinding me. The seatbelt bites into my chest, yanking me back against the seat. For a disorienting moment, I’m weightless as the world flips. I’m floating.

Well, not floating. More like hanging from my seat. Gravity has that cool effect.

Buddy’s frantic barks are powerful and fill the small space, his paws scrabbling at the window, his weight pressing against me each time he shifts position. Through the cracked glass, I see a rotter dragging its leg, the scrape of its foot loud against the broken bits on the ground as it edges closer.

Pain erupts and flares down my side, a sharp, relentless threat that has me struggling to stay conscious. Buddy’s barks grow faint. My vision narrows, the edges blurring when I reach over to soothe Buddy .

“You’re okay.” My words turn into a whisper in the dark. A metallic taste fills my mouth.

“Good boy. You’re alright.” The crunching steps get closer.

Something hard thuds against the car, and my eyes flutter closed.