Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Anora and the Standoff

Lennon convinces me I should eat lunch in the cafeteria. She says running makes me look guilty and is useless since the Order will find me. Ravens are everywhere on campus at the moment, which I guess is supposed to keep me safe until after the vigil when they take me to Temple.

I can’t quite wrap my mind around Lennon’s admission and what it means. Before today, she had spoken so highly of Shy. She had included Lily in our circle, gone to her funeral, and mourned that we would never be close friends, and she had known the whole time they were Valryn. Was all of that a ruse? A way of protecting herself?

She’s watching the room. My first day, I assumed she was looking for someone, but now I know she’s just watching people. She warned me: Learn their secrets so when they come after you, you’re untouchable.

The words make me shiver, and I want to know: What does she do with those secrets? How has she made herself untouchable? But I think I know the answer to that—she doesn’t share her secrets.

Today is rare.

I wonder how soon before she regrets sharing. Or if there’s a reason she finally decided to tell me the truth. The thought makes me shiver.

“What was your mother like?” I ask. It’s a question I like to answer about my poppa, but Lennon looks surprised. Like no one has ever asked.

“I don’t remember,” she admits. “She died shortly after I was born.”

That answer makes me hate the Order more. I know they have ridiculous rules and expectations, but taking a mother away from her child? Unforgivable.

We move through the line quickly. With our trays in hand, Lennon and I start looking for a place to sit in the packed cafeteria when I’m hit hard from behind.

“Oops,” a girl mocks.

My tray flies from my hands, and I stumble, but before I hit the ground, I’m caught by the waist and pulled against a hard body. When I look up, I’m staring into Shy’s bright, angry eyes. My heart moves into my throat.

The whole cafeteria has gone quiet. I twist to look at the person who pushed me when Natalie says, “Don’t be a bitch, Jasmine.”

Jasmine looks just as shocked as me that her move didn’t win praise from Natalie.

Then Lennon says, “Really, Jasmine, you could easily be in Anora’s place.”

What’s that supposed to mean? Does Lennon know something about Jasmine the rest of us don’t? Is she threatening to post it on Roundtable? After all the damage she’s seen that stupid app do? An uneasy feeling creeps over me.

“You should probably say sorry,” Shy says.

“S-sorry,” Jasmine manages, her face turning pink. She backs away, fleeing the cafeteria. I can’t help feeling bad for her. She hasn’t been very nice, but she was just shamed in front of everyone.

Natalie looks around, noticing we have the attention of the whole school. “What are you all staring at?” she barks. “Nothing to see here.”

Is that true?I wonder. After queen’s ransom and Roundtable, this is probably like a reality television show. Anyone within a one-mile radius can feel the tension coming off us. They’re probably waiting for a fight to break out.

Speaking of tension, I feel Shy against my back. His arm is wrapped around my waist like the hook of a scythe. There’s a brief moment when I want to reach behind me, snake my hand around his neck, and kiss him, but that yearning feels like a distant memory. Reality is, someone posted my past on Roundtable, and these are two of the four people I haven’t ruled out. Besides, I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the Order killed Lennon’s mother.

I place my hands on Shy’s arm and pry it loose, stepping out of his embrace. When I turn to face him and Natalie, his jaw tightens.

“You didn’t have to embarrass her,” I say.

“She embarrassed you,” Natalie says defensively.

“You’ll turn your back on anyone, even your so-called friends,” I tell her.

Natalie’s brows shoot up, but her surprise at my words doesn’t last long before she decides she’s angry with me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I start to speak, to accuse her of the Roundtable post, but Shy stops me. “We’re not here to argue.”

“Anora’s had a rough day,” Lennon says. “She doesn’t need this.”

“We’re not here to talk to Anora.” Shy doesn’t look at me. He’s looking at Lennon. So is Natalie. What’s going on here?

“Oh?” Lennon mocks. “And what could you possibly have to say to me?”

“Why don’t we step outside,” Shy suggests.

For a moment, I don’t think Lennon will agree, but she maintains this unsettling smirk as we exit, stepping into the cool, fall air.

“What’s this about?” I ask, but Shy and Natalie pretend I’m not there.

“Where were you last night, Lennon?” Natalie asks.

“Why don’t you just accuse me of whatever you’re going to accuse me of and get it over with?”

“Someone tell me what’s going on,” I demand, angry I’m being ignored.

Shy’s gaze cuts to me. “Lennon stole your coin. You watched Anora capture Vera’s soul, didn’t you? Swooped in and stole it in raven form. Did you kill Lily too?”

I look from Shy to Lennon. She’s emotionless and cold, but I expect that. She was just accused of murder. The problem is, I don’t know who to believe, so I ask for the only thing I can, though my voice rasps as I do, as if in protest. “Do you have proof?”

“What?” Shy’s question is sharp and surprised; it tangles my chest and makes me feel wrong.

“Proof,” I say again. “You’ve accused her of murder, Shy. You must have proof.”

Isn’t that what the Order’s always asking for? Evidence?

He opens his mouth, but the only thing he manages is, “You don’t trust me?”

If my heart were glass, it would shatter. He looks at me with solid frustration, jaw tight, eyes like lamplights…like he can see all my flaws and fears. It hurts my chest.

I manage to scoff, but it takes a lot of energy to stay angry with him. “This isn’t about trust. You’re targeting Lennon, which is an insult when the Order’s responsible for her mother’s death.”

Lennon’s pain and anger are palpable. She lost her mother. How can I not say something to Shy and Natalie about their precious Order?

“We’ve done nothing but help you and risked everything for it!”

“I’m not arguing about whether you’ve helped me, but murder is a serious accusation, one you seem to be willing to just throw around whenever you please.”

Natalie takes a step forward. “You’d insult the only people who’ve kept you alive?”

“Arguably,” I say, “you’ve almost gotten me killed.”

“You’re not dead, and that’s more than we can say for Lily.”

It’s obvious Natalie wants to keep questioning Lennon, but Shy pulls her away. The stark look of betrayal on his face feels like a slice to my heart.

They leave, entering the school again. When I look up, I see students staring out the windows, watching our exchange.

Bet this will end up on Roundtable.

In the aftermath, Lennon says, “She’s lucky Lily’s the only friend she’s lost.”

I turn to face Lennon, surprised those horrible words came out of her mouth. “Lily’s dead, Lennon. That’s not funny.”

Lennon shrugs. “I didn’t say it to be funny.”

It’s another threat.

Then it hits me: Lennon predicted the posts that would destroy Lily’s reputation. She’d said they would overshadow my weirdness in art. Now that I know her better, I’d say she was…excited.

She also hadn’t thought it was ridiculous that Lily was being publicly shamed for her relationship with a human. At the time, I didn’t think much about her response—

It’s not that she was sexting. It’s who…

“You posted Lily’s texts on Roundtable,” I say. Lennon doesn’t move to deny it, and I feel my heart sink further into my stomach. “Why?”

She shrugs. “I had to show her she couldn’t trust the Order, just like I had to show you.”

Then she walks away as if she hasn’t just upended everything and left me with no one to trust.