Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Anora and a New Friend

I don’t get the chance to tell Shy thank you for covering for me with Mr. Seth because he isn’t in class all afternoon, something that bothers me more than it should. I wonder if he found someone else to go to lunch with—maybe another girl, the one who hugged him around his waist yesterday. Maybe they’d lost track of time or ditched to go back to his house.

Stop!I order myself.

I can’t let a few instances of kindness blind me from things that truly bother me—like Shy’s watchful gaze and his perceptive questions. It might seem wrong to be suspicious of him, but some of the greatest threats never set off warning bells.

In contrast, Thane is a walking siren—everything about him screams run the other direction, and what he already knows about me makes him dangerous. I haven’t decided what I’ll do about him yet, but the only option I’ve come up with is fleeing town. I doubt Mom will go for that.

For now, I’m stuck.

Lennon and I make it to the field on time for PE, so we don’t have to run extra laps. We start off at a jog. I hope the strain on my lungs will distract me from searching for Shy on the practice field.

It doesn’t.

“Looking for Shy?” Lennon asks.

Maybe I should be a little more concerned about how much she’s keeping an eye on me.

“He asked me to lunch,” I explain. “But he wasn’t in class after.”

“He left with Natalie,” she says.

So I’d been right to think he might have left with another girl—I’d just thought of the wrong one. I don’t want to think about what it means that they haven’t returned, so I turn my thoughts toward a theory I’d been contemplating since this morning.

“Do you think Natalie had anything to do with posting Lily’s texts on Roundtable?”

Lennon laughs, but it sounds a little strangled, as if she choked on the spit in her throat. “No.”

“Why not?” I’m a little offended by how quickly she shoots my suggestion down.

“Because Natalie and Lily are friends.”

“Really?”

“There’s a group of them. They grew up together—Shy, Lily, Natalie, Jacobi, Thane.”

Thane?

“Shy and Thane don’t seem like very good friends.”

“They aren’t—or at least, not anymore.”

“What happened?”

“No one knows. One day, they came to school and they just weren’t friends anymore. Didn’t hang out at lunch, didn’t talk in the hallway, didn’t acknowledge their history together.”

I can’t imagine Shy and Thane ever being very good friends, but now I’m curious—what changed? If I have to guess, it has something to do with the grief Thane carries. Death always inspires change—good or bad.

Lennon and I slow to a walk.

“You’re coming to the game Friday, right?” Lennon moves on to another subject, obviously not as interested in Shy and Thane’s relationship as I am. “We could get ready together. It’ll be fun! Besides, you’ll get to see Shy play, and trust me, you don’t want to miss that.”

I smile because of how normal she sounds—how innocent. She isn’t plagued by the dead, by threads or golden coins. I wish I knew what it was like to move through the world as she does. I had once—before things got complicated. I had dreams of attending Princeton or Harvard. I had already started reading about women in space—Sally Ride, Valentina Tereshkova, and Geraldyn Cobb—and studying cosmology, relativity, and gravity. Those dreams were brittle, though, the glass thin, and everything shattered.

Now my plans revolve around hiding. Even now, knowing another mistake means a mental hospital, I have an escape plan.

“Anora?”

My gaze snaps to Lennon. “I’ll ask my mom.”

Her smile widens, and we continue our laps around the field.

After PE, Lennon and I part ways at Emerson. I pull my phone from my locker and find I have a message from Mom.

Running late. Be there soon.

Maybe someone is looking out for me after all. I shove my books in my backpack and head toward the front office. Mom’s delay might not give me time to cross campus again, but I can check lost and found.

When I reach the office, the three ladies from yesterday are still behind the glass. They stand away from the desk so that their whole bodies are visible. Mrs. Cole spots me first and offers a smile, though I still think it’s forced.

“Miss Silby, what can we do for you?”

“I wondered if you have a lost and found?”

She maintains that smile. “What did you lose?”

My answer is poised on my tongue. I’d known all along I’d have to say it—a gold coin with the image of a raven—but my whole head pricks, as if my hair wants to free itself from my scalp. The sensation drips down my back, and my gaze slips past Mrs. Cole and her fake smile to the darker presence behind her.

Thane.

He stands in the shadow of the office, watching me curiously, and my whole body feels frozen. I can’t seem to clear the words from my throat, especially after the encounter I had with him this morning. He already believes I had something to do with Vera’s disappearance, and the fact that he’s absolutely right means I can’t trust him.

“Miss Silby?” Mrs. Cole asks again, and I offer a smile, though it feels wobbly and just as forced as hers. To make it worse, a breathy laugh escapes from between my lips.

“You know what.” I reach into the mesh pocket of my backpack, my fingers closing around my phone. “I’m such an idiot. I found what I thought I lost.” I lift the phone, and Mrs. Cole’s brows draw together. Clearly, she doesn’t believe me, but I take a step away from the counter. As I turn, Mrs. Cole’s voice strains through the mechanical filter.

“Take care, Miss Silby.”

I don’t respond. My feet carry me forward, around the corner, and through the first door on my right—the women’s restroom. I take a moment to breathe, releasing the tension knotting my chest before approaching the sink. My reflection looks harsh—pale face, black hair, lips the color of a bitten cherry, chapped. I’m not used to this version of me. I turn on the faucet and splash water on my face, cooling my pink cheeks, when I hear a soft sniffle. I pause and look up but see no one behind me in the mirror.

“Lily?” I venture a guess. I pat my face dry and then bend to see a pair of feet under one of the stall doors. “Are you okay?”

“Leave me alone!” Her voice is thick with mucus, and she clears her throat in the silence.

“I’m not here to laugh at you or judge you,” I explain. “I’m Anora Silby, the new girl. I…just want to make sure you’re okay.”

There is a pause, and I hear the door unlatch. Lily comes out of the stall. Her eyes are rimmed with red and puffy, but she’s pulled her hair away from her face, so I have a clear view of her features. She’s pretty—blond hair, brown eyes, heart-shaped face.

“This place sucks, you know that?”

I nod. “I’m sorry people were mean to you. You know they’ve all done worse.”

“Yeah, they have. But it doesn’t matter. I’m the one everyone is talking about.”

I shake my head. “That’s ridiculous. It’s such a double standard. If you were a guy, no one would care. Or they’d be high-fiving you.”

She smiles at me. “You’re nice, but you should know they’ll eat you alive.”

“Thanks for the warning, but I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, I thought that too,” she says. Walking to the sink, she turns on the faucet and splashes her face with water. I watch her in the mirror.

“Hey, in a few weeks, no one will remember this, and if not, in the end, this is only high school.”

She smiles, but it’s sad, and she looks away from me. “I wish that were true.” We stand for a moment in awkward silence, and then Lily speaks. “Is it true, what Natalie said? That you got kicked out of your old school?”

“Yeah.” The truth is far harder to explain.

Lily tilts her head to the side. “Funny, you don’t seem like a troublemaker.”

I offer a small laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” There is a pause as I study her, eyes downcast. “Hey…you should come to the game with Lennon and me Friday. It’ll be fun.”

The ending is tacked on—Lennon’s words, not mine.

“Are you sure?” She watches me. Her eyes search my face like she thinks I’ll crack under pressure and admit I don’t want to be associated with her.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you’re the new girl. Aren’t you worried about your reputation?”

A laugh tears from my throat, and I choke on it. “No. I’d like to be your friend more.”

Lily’s lips twitch, and I get the sense it’s been a long time since she’s smiled.

“I’d like that too,” Lily replies.