EPILOGUE SHAW AND MIRI

Istill can't get used to this traffic, and being on the wrong side of the goddamn road constantly is a bitch. Still, the Jaguar I'm driving is good enough, and, as I pull off the main road and drive the country lanes, even I have to recognise I'm in a good place in life. No one's hassling me for work I don't want to do, and I'm with someone who gets me and wants to let me be me. Funny how I needed to move to a different country for that to happen, but maybe that's just what was meant to happen all that time ago when I was sent here.

Steering around a blind corner, I damn near take three horses and their riders out. The woman on board the first one looks back at me and glares, making her feelings clear, as I swing wide to pass them. Thank fuck for that because British people are confusing as hell. Most of them never say what they mean, and half the time I'm trying to understand the hidden meaning behind everything. I miss that about San Antonio some days. It was straight there, and, with my name, there was a clarity involved in everything. I spoke – they listened. Well, everyone but my own goddamn family.

Sighing, I turn into what feels like a mile-long driveway and follow it. The Broderick mansion eventually comes into view, and I scan the periphery and outbuildings. It's still as impressive as the first time I saw it. It was a family trip out, she said. That I'd have to deal with Landon one day, so why not now? I grumbled the whole damn way, unsure who the hell this Landon thought he was. Summoning me? Asshole. I'm still not convinced he isn't one, but, for Miri, I'll take the bait – again. It"s not like I don't enjoy the banter he tries pushing my way, and, as far as I know, he's never killed anyone, so I've got that over his fucking trip to Buckingham Palace and title.

A gardener nods at me as I pull up, and then some other servants scuttle past, doing whatever job they do. I snort at the absurdity of it all and keep moving, heading for the main entrance. Having said that, at least they're working – doing something. I haven't done a damn thing since I settled here. Miri works, but me? Well, I'm not equipped for any nine-to-five this life here has to offer. I don't even know what I'd do if I thought I should. Not that I need to. Whatever happened back there in San Antonio didn't change a damn thing about my accounts. They're still healthy as hell.

"Hello, you." Willow. I look at her as I get to the stairs, still unsure what to make of her. I mean, what is she to Miri? Mother? Aunt? Big sister, now Naja isn't here anymore?

"Hey." I keep moving, heading for our bedroom here.

"Shaw?" My feet stop. "She's out in the gardens with Seffi, and Landon wants to see you." Fuck.

"Why?"

"She needed some air, I suppose."

"Now, you know I wasn't asking that."

She smirks at me and starts walking away. "He's in his study." I hover on the stairs and watch her go, undecided on whether I'm gonna give him the satisfaction of trying to stamp his authority on me again or not.

Her head comes back around the corner. "I didn't think men like you ever got scared."

"I'm not scared."

She raises a brow at me and crosses her arms. "Really. Because it looks like it from where I'm stand-"

"Fine." I huff and take the stairs downwards again, glaring at her as I pass. "But if this is another lecture in British etiquette and manners, I'm gonna kill him."

Three doors passed, all five feet higher than me, and I turn through the next vast hallway leading to his study. I look at the run of crystal chandeliers as I go, wondering why there needs to be five in one corridor in the first place. I mean, I like finery as much as the next guy, but this place is fucking insane.

Eventually, I get to a door, and him.

He doesn't even look up as I enter the room.

Just keeps scrawling words on some stack of files and passing one on top of the other.

The silence is near fucking deafening.

"What do you want me for, Landon?" I ask.

He keeps writing. "I don't particularly."

"Then why did Willow tell me you did?"

He puts his pen down on the desk and leans back in his chair, clasping his hands. More silence continues, and he just stares at me like he's got something to say but isn't getting around to saying it.

"Look, I know none of this was what you wanted, and I sure as shit know you wouldn't have chosen someone like me for her – not that that's any of your goddamn business because she isn't actually your daughter – but I'm here now and Miri's happy and we're gonna be fine if you just give us a fucking break. This kinda bullshit has to stop."

"Bullshit? What bullshit?"

My hand waves at him behind his desk. "This. You. Summoning me like you're her father." He barely moves. I'm not even sure the asshole breathes most of the time. Who has that level of stillness? It's freaky as fuck. "Just get whatever you've got to say said, and then-"

"I am like her father, Shaw. And, like it or not, you're still Cortez filth regardless of your abandonment of them." The accuracy of the words, punctuated with the look of sheer fucking disgust on his face, both riles and floors me. I don't know where to look or what to do. He's not once been as direct as that since I met him. "How did that feel?"

I look up from the chair leg I was staring at. "Antagonising."

"Hmm. Annoying, isn't it? Imagine how I feel when I have to accept that fact and welcome it into my home." I frown and watch him get up, both pissed and humbled in some ways. "It's a shame she loves you as much as she does. I'm not entirely sure you deserve such devotion."

"Yeah, well, I'm damn sure you're not the fucking idol Willow seems to think you are, either. Life's screwed that way when it comes to love."

His lips tip up in some kind of a smile, and he comes around from behind his desk. "You"re right. I"m not. Not in the slightest. You should remember that." Tension builds between us as he stares, and I do my best to keep my mood in check. "Are you going to propose?"

"What?"

He goes back to his desk and closes a file. "Marriage, Shaw. It's what one does when one"s in love, and over here, you should ask permission from the father of the bride should you want to walk her down the aisle. He should like you before you try." He turns back to me and leans on his desk. "I might, at some point, be amenable to requests." I stare, bewildered. Thankfully, the sound of heels coming along the corridor cuts through whatever this episode is developing into.

Ivy turns into the room, two kids at her feet and Blake in tow.

"There you are!" she says. "Dinner's almost ready." One of the kids goes straight for Landon, and I watch him pick him up. "Is my brother being an arse?" Yes. Actually, I'm not sure. "You are, aren't you? Shaw?" I look at her. "Miri's waiting for you in the dining room. Please go rescue her from Scott attempting to talk her into letting him paint her." I look back at Landon and keep frowning, but given the kid in his arms and a ruck of guests apparently here, I think we've lost whatever we were just getting into.

I turn and leave, still frowning about that whole weird conversation. Why would he think I was about to propose? I'm not. Hadn't even thought about it. Not until this moment, anyway. We haven't known each other long enough for that, and yeah, we might be in love – pretty fucking desperately, now I think about it – but life isn't settled in that way. I mean, we're still working our way through what was, and I'm still trying to work out who the hell I am without my family, and Miri, well, I guess she's still trying to deal with the past despite her saying she's moving forward.

"Oh, thank God," she says, coming in from the side and grabbing hold of my arm. "Save me." I look up and find myself at the entrance to the dining room. "Scott wants to paint me. Why? I can't do that. Especially after seeing that risqué Seffi work. You don"t think he means that, do you?" I raise a brow and look into the room, almost glaring at Scott because if he thinks he's getting one inch of my woman's skin on show, he better get ready for some pretty savage response. "Also, where have you been?"

I wrap an arm around her. "With Landon."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

She comes round in front of me, taking both my hands in hers. "Was he horrible again?"

"Not sure."

"He was, wasn't he?"

"Yes. And no."

She smiles and stares at me, and every second of that time with him filters to a place I'll revisit when I'm ready. We've got other things to talk about first.

"Can we take a walk?" I ask.

"Now? Dinner's nearly ready."

"Yeah. Right now."

She nods, and we walk out through the side doors onto the old terrace and down the elaborate steps. Paths and trees pass by us, as I keep thinking. I don't even know what I'm trying to think about, but her beside me always helps. I think it's just this place, or Earlwood. Neither of them are me, and despite loving her, I feel outside of it all. Just me and her and I'm mostly fine, but all this? All of them? Weird.

"What"s going on?" she asks.

"Nothing."

"Liar. I told you. No lies."

I chuckle a little and look at the lake coming into view in the distance. "Alright. You know I love you, yeah?"

"Yes. You tell me all the time."

"Yeah, and you know that means I'm here, right? I'm with you. Happy."

"Well, mostly. I'm not convinced you're happy all the time." I turn to look at her, frowning, because she makes me damn happy. She's the first woman I've ever been in love with, and, as far as I'm concerned, she'll be the last. "Shaw, I know you miss them. And I know this family isn't the same. I'm not stupid. They aren't even technically mine, but they are the family I love."

"Yeah, maybe I do miss them, but that's not it. I need something to do, I think. I'm not used to being useless. Back there, rightly or wrongly, I had a point. Purpose, you know?" I take her hands in mine and back up to a stone bench, sitting us down. "But that's not you, you understand? That is nothing to do with you. Or us. It's to do with me and what I'm doing."

"I know. I've been thinking about it. You could talk to Landon. Or even Noah. He might have something for you to do that's more your vibe."

"I think we both know where that last option's gonna lead me. He"s pretty close to where I was before all this change. Cool guy, though."

She laughs lightly and leans her head into my shoulder. "Well, maybe that"s what you need. Maybe his kind of semi-legitimate dealings could help. I doubt who you were will ever leave you completely. You said you told your family that version of you was dead, but I don't think it's that easy. If being some part of something again makes you feel right, then I want that for you. I trust Landon, and an extension of that is Noah. There's no point hiding it or trying to avoid it. I'd rather we find a place where we're both happy. Dreams only come true if we're one hundred percent on board with being honest with each other."

I smile, wondering how the hell I landed her, and look down at those eyes. "So, you don"t mind? I don"t want you thinking we're drifting apart because I'm trying to find the right version of me that fits us both."

"No. Why would I mind that? That's what I want. That's all I want. Just no really bad stuff, yeah?" She reaches up and kisses me. "This around us isn"t either of us, but we're here, and they've welcomed us. And I love them for it, Shaw. And I love you, too. We need to find the version of you that's happy here, with me. Because I'm not going anywhere. You can"t get rid of me."

I pull her in closer, wrapping my arm around someone who wholeheartedly loves me for exactly who I am. Get rid of her? I'm never damn well leaving her. Couldn't even if I wanted to. She's part of me, and that's something only a fool would throw away. I'm not one. "I love you, too, Miri. Always. Don't ever question it."

"I know." Good.

Clouds roll by above us, as we both stare into them. She nuzzles in deeper, and I start thinking about Landon's words again. Marriage. What a concept from where we began. Although, it"s not as confusing as it seemed an hour ago when he spoke. In fact, it might be closer than I think. Why wouldn't it be?