CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MIRI

Isit and try to block out the sounds. They're the same as what I hear in my nightmares – in my daydreams as well. Hoping that sound would never reach my ears again, I recognise one of the voices barking commands, reprimanding, and yelling. It wasn't a nice time in my life, and although part of me tries to do everything possible to forget, a part of my mind refuses to. I still remember her pristine look and the smug, self-righteousness that followed her around. She only had that because she had the Cortez muscle behind her, but it was enough to terrify me.

And all I can do now is see her standing in front of me again.

And all I can feel is Elias' eyes following me around the room. And all I can remember is trying to focus on Naja and ignore everything else that was happening.

I listen for other familiar voices, even though, in my heart, I'm doubtful she's even here. What did Shaw say? Shouldn't have trusted a Cortez? Well yeah. But what choice did I have?

He seemed so lost, almost resigned to some extent. Although, he still offered me food and drink, like having that would make up for the fact that I'm here and locked back in a cell with no idea of where Naja is.

After everything, I can't let this be my fate.

I can't let this be it.

And, as much as I might hate the idea, Shaw is the only option. He's the link in this mess that I can use, maybe. Manipulate, play him like he played me.

I think back to Naja and what she told me, how she used Jackson. God, I must need my head examined for thinking this, but we had a connection, even if it makes me want to shove my fingers down my throat and vomit that sentiment right now.

I don't have the luxury of ideals.

It quietens down after a while, and the commands stop. Maybe we"re alone now? I have to find a way out of this, and, as far as I can see, Shaw is my only possible option. Except he's not here. After the call that girl handed to him, he's not been back since. She brought me the food and a bottle of water that I didn't want. Said something about being grateful that they can show mercy. I didn't want to listen to her because I was too busy having a small breakdown over the situation I was back in. Panic swarmed under my skin at that moment, but I couldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing how this affected me. Or how gutting it felt knowing Naja wasn't here with me.

I look at the plate and the water before grabbing the bars and shaking them with all my strength. "Arghhh!" I scream, finally feeling the enormity of the situation begin to engulf me.

Doing this alone is a hell of a lot more overwhelming.

"Someone doesn't sound very happy."

Shaw. He came back.

This is a good thing. "Are you serious?"

"It could be worse." He steps out of the gloom and into the pool of light just beyond the cage. His face is bruised and cut as if he's just taken a beating. His brother. That's the first answer, but which one?

Dragon left me once I got in the cage, which I was happy about. He's a walking threat of what happened last time. At least with the others, I can pretend that they wouldn't happily brand me with a flame-hot iron.

I shield my reaction to his wounds and drop my head, looking at the floor of the cell. He kicks over a crate and uses it as a seat, positioning himself opposite my jail.

"What do you want, Shaw?" I ask, sounding as tired and pissed off as I feel.

He doesn't answer but just watches me.

I let go of the bars and sit, mimicking his position. I rub my rusty hands over the new jeans I'm wearing, blending them in with my surroundings.

"Where's Naja?"

"Do you want me to answer that?"

"If you know the answer. Although, something tells me that's debatable. Who was on the phone? Seems like you're not anyone's favourite person."

It's a risk, provoking him, but it seems to work with Shaw. He has a temper that I've seen and felt up close and personal.

He still doesn't answer, so I go back to digging for information about my sister.

"Naja. Please. I did everything you asked. Wouldn't you want to know if it was one of your siblings? One of your brothers?"

He bolts up and slams his hands against the bars. "You have no right to talk to me about my brothers. It's because of you that one of them is dead. Haven't you learned anything?"

"How is any of this my fault? I'm in a cage, again, thanks to your brother. And all I want to know is if she's alive. You owe me that much."

"I owe you nothing," he seethes against the bars.

"You owe me that information, Shaw. Where is she? Is she alive?" I push.

He shakes his head and appears to calm back down.

I look at the plate with the sad, stale sandwich and bottle of water. "Hand me the water?" I ask.

He comes back and picks it up, passing it to me through the bars.

"Thank you." I watch his eyes, hoping he'll look at me. He does, and I force myself to hold his gaze, looking past the last few days and searching for the man who won me over enough to open myself up to him. I thought they were blue, but here, they look darker. Grey, or even brown. He doesn't turn away as if he's searching for something himself. In that moment, for a second, I'm just a girl, and he's just a boy, and everything else fades away.

I break the connection and take the bottle, unscrewing the cap to take a sip.

"I think you want to tell me about my sister, Shaw. I think you know it's not fair, and deep down, that doesn't sit well with you."

He goes back to his seat on the crate. "You said Cortez is all about profit. Value. What value am I?" I ask, hoping he'll answer, but he doesn't. "Would all of this be for nothing if I wasn't worth anything anymore?" He looks up at that, frowning at me in confusion. "How much am I worth, Shaw? And how much have you already lost coming to find me, getting me back, having both you and your brother after me? I'm betting a lot of money."

"Why are you saying all of this? You're just a number. Another girl to sell. That's your worth. And revenge isn't something you can put a value on. Remember that."

"I'm glad you think that." I lunge for the plate on the outside of the bars, tip the food and pull it back inside with me. I lift it and smash it on the floor, shattering it into a dozen pieces. Scanning the debris, I grab a triangular wedge and run my thumb over the edge. Sharp. Good. "Wouldn't it be a shame if I bled out before you got your revenge or your profit?" The words don't feel triumphant; they grate as I speak them, and I am suddenly terrified he won't take the bait.

Shaw looks, and his eyes latch onto my hands. I force them to still, determined to stop the tremor travelling any further down my arms. There's no other reaction from him, though, so I guess he's calling my bluff.

Just breathe.

One step at a time.

I push the jagged edge into the vein at my wrist and watch as the skin gives and a small pool of blood gathers where it punctures the skin.

"Hey, Miri, quit it. Stop. You don't want to do that."

Yes. I win.

His reaction is all I need.

I look up and make sure he sees me and smile as I deepen the pressure, pushing the edge deeper into my skin and ignoring the bite of pain. I've had worse. Much worse.

He's up on his feet and wrestling with locks and keys before I have to cause myself any more damage. I let up with the pressure and wait, letting the blood trickle down my wrist for effect.

This is the moment. This is my only chance. Everything that I've learned from Neil, all my efforts and training, needs to pay off now, making up for not fighting before. It doesn't matter if I stay compliant or not. They won't suddenly give me the information I want, so I have to fight. I tried it their way, and now I don't have any other choice.

Shaw is inside the cage with the door open and steps towards me, his hand going for the weapon still resting at my wrist. I take a deep breath, and then I let loose.

I lash out in a sweeping arc to give myself space. Shaw backs out of range as I do, but I don't let up. Dropping the china, I attack, positioning my feet and jabbing with one, followed by the second fist. Both land against Shaw's already cut-up face. His arms come up in a defensive position, but it doesn't stop my volley of attack. Next, I kick out, knee him in the leg and manoeuvre him to the side of the cage, giving me a clear run at the door. But as I take a moment to check my exit, he comes back at me. He staggers but shoves me off balance, and I end up running into the bars, missing the door and setting a ringing noise off in my head. It only slows me down, and I re-balance and push through with my legs, propelling me forward.

I'm out.

Into darkness, but I'm out.

Only I can hear Shaw after me.

I look both ways and choose the opposite to the one we came down. I run away from the other sounds that have been taunting me.

My footsteps echo in the tunnel as I pick up pace.

"Miri!" Shaw yells after me. He's injured and hurting, so I should have a head start, but after only seconds, I can feel him on my heels. My chest heaves out a breath, determined to keep going, desperate to find some added strength from somewhere, but all I feel is the tap of Shaw's hand on my leg. It knocks me off-balance again, and this time I crash to the ground, landing heavily on my shoulder.

"Urgh," I groan as I roll to get back up, scrambling as fast as I can. My feet slip, and I stumble as I find purchase, giving Shaw just the chance he needs to pounce and pull me back to the ground. He climbs over me, but I lash out with my fists again, hitting one after the other at his face and chest. My knuckles hurt and sting, the throb of pain radiating down my wrists, but I keep going.

"Fuck off, Miri." He rolls to the side to escape my bombardment and I try again to run. My legs stay sure under me this time, and I get a few paces away. My heart races as panic begins to take over, clouding my vision and thoughts as I keep running.

Shaw runs into me, sending me sideways into the wall. "Ahh!" He shoves all of his weight behind him, plastering me against the immovable barrier. It keeps me pinned in place as he holds me with his hand against my shoulder.

"Why did you have to run?" he asks, snarling against my cheek. He's breathing just as heavily as I am, although I'm fighting for my freedom. I'm not sure what's driving Shaw.

I knock his hand out of the way with my forearm and twist my body, elbowing him in the ribs. His body doesn't move so easily, though, and he still cages me as he moves to shut down every offence I try. He wrangles me back the few inches I gained, back against the wall, and I can feel how hard he is, rubbing his crotch up against my body.

I still as my body sparks to life at the thought, but he notices, grabbing my jaw with his hand. "You like that, Miri? You like the fight?" I don't want to say anything because it will be a lie. My body feels like it's on fire, either from the adrenalin or the physicality of our fight, but it's alive. "If only I knew sooner."

He braces his forearms across my collarbone and chest while his other hand sets to work, freeing my jeans.

In the dark, I can't make out his face or the glee I expect to see, and I'm glad.

His hand rips at my jeans, and his fingers delve under my knickers, sinking deep into me. My eyes close as they roll back in pleasure, and I bite my lip to keep my mouth closed.

This is different. This is charged with heat.

It's a twisted line of hate and want that makes no sense.

My mind rushes with questions, but they can't stave off how good his fingers feel inside of me. It's mortifying and confusing, but just as the urge to run and fight took over, now I'm facing another urge centred at the pit of my stomach.

"You're so fucking wet."

The words from him are like a betrayal, and they grate against my very soul, but my heart is beating so fast, I don't have space for my mind to take over. I grab forward, reaching for Shaw's trousers. It takes him all of a second before he catches on, and we're all hands, fighting with the clothes this time, not each other.

One leg of my jeans is off, and he lifts me up, pinning me against the wall as I wrap my free leg around his hip. He doesn't wait but shoves deep inside of me, filling me up.

He hoists my knee up, getting more leverage and then rams into me. It's forceful and aggressive, and I like it. It's guttural and raw as I pull at his shoulders, keeping me balanced and in the right spot for him to drive me deeper into my own pleasure.

Our breathing grows more laboured. Jagged and desperate.

It's hot and angry, but I give as much as he does. Like the fight we were trapped in has morphed into this other physical act.

At the back of my mind, a million bells are ringing, but I turn them off. This is just sex. Violent, twisted, and messed up, but just sex. There's no comfort, it's primal – an exchange. That feels too fucking good.

Shaw continues, working his hips harder and harder as if still fighting me. I take it, listening to my body as it climbs higher and higher. He grips my skin, and I dig into his, our bodies attacking each other with every move. There are no words between us, just the dull moan of pleasure and the panting of our breaths in the dark. It builds, growing louder and dirtier.

In my mind, I'm desperate for him to just hit a little harder, to send me over that edge, and then this can be over, but I suck my lip, stopping myself from speaking the truth or asking for anything from him.

"Shit, Miri, you're going to fucking come!" He murmurs the words against my neck, his breath warm against my skin, sexy. His last few violent jolts and the grip of his hands do it. It sets off the spiral of pleasure that I want to string out and work as hard as I can. I pull and tense and ride him as he pushes me to that point, wanting to take it for myself. "Jesus!"

My fingers grip and claw him as he comes, too, spent and panting until he finally stills.

My heart feels like it's going to explode from my chest, and my throat is sore from the deep, dry breaths I keep taking.

Shaw's the same, but he doesn't let me go.

I keep my eyes in the dark, not wanting to see the evidence of what just happened. The need I was chasing just a moment ago is now replaced with a twisted knot of guilt and shame.

I liked him overpowering me in this way. Which makes no fucking sense after what he did to me back in that cell.

Fuck.