6. Stacey

Chapter Six

STACEY

That kiss—damn, was it amazing.

Earth-shattering.

Life-altering.

That was the type of kiss you read about in romance novels or see in chick-flicks, where the woman's leg pops up behind her as she kisses her hero for the first time. This kiss has all of those types of thoughts running through my mind.

I will think back on this kiss for years. Then I think, what if this was my last first kiss ever . I'm not usually one to jump the gun and think about the what-ifs in life, especially in a relationship, but being out tonight with Peyton, I once again feel so drawn to him. Like we're meant to be together.

"That was amazing," he finally says, breaking the silence between the two of us.

"I have to agree. Best first kiss ever," I tell him, a small smile cresting my kiss-swollen lips. I reach up and wipe the smudge of lip gloss from his lips. He allows me to do so and then places a kiss against the palm of my hand before I pull it away.

"What do you say we go find some food? I'm starving. Then we can find a place for some dancing."

"Sounds like the perfect plan," I say as we start walking along the street lined with bars.

We settle on some barbecue at one of the bars, grabbing a table on one of the upper floors.

"When you return to base, will you be staying in town or do you have to leave again?" I ask as we enjoy our food.

"I'll be stateside for the foreseeable future. We completed the deployment and haven't been told of any new ones on the horizon yet. With the security threats not as complex as they were in years past, deployments are getting shorter and not as often."

"That's good. Have you deployed a lot?"

"Sometimes it feels that way. I've done five different deployments, all overseas. Some were easier than others."

"I'm glad you made it through them all, that can't be easy on anyone. Physically, mentally, or emotionally."

"Thanks. Some deployments have definitely left their marks. Some outwardly, but mostly inward. No soldier can actually prepare for an active war zone. It doesn't matter how much training you've gone through, there's nothing like it until you actually get over there and are thrust into that environment."

"I can only imagine. How have you dealt with the effects? And feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I ask something you don't want to talk about. I won't take it personally," I assure him.

"No worries, gorgeous. I've got nothing to hide. My first deployment was when I was twenty-one. I was still so green behind the ears, even though I thought I was this hotshot. Not even twenty-four hours after arriving at our remote base, we were attacked. I watched guys die right in front of my face and froze when I saw the first body drop. One of my commanding officers got up in my face and quickly snapped me out of it. It took weeks for me to get a full night's sleep after that. Every little noise had me jumping out of my bunk and ready to attack. We lost a lot of good men and women in that deployment, and it forever changed my life.

"When I returned home, I was a mess. My dad convinced me to go see someone to get some help. After a good amount of time seeing a counselor, I was able to work through the PTSD and sleeping issues I was having. I still have things that creep up occasionally, but for the most part, I've overcome most of my triggers. The longer I've been in the military, the more I've learned to compartmentalize things. I've learned how to cope better with the things I can't control. Many guys can't do that and the effects last a lifetime.

"That's not to say that things won't ever return for me. My counselor has warned me that I could go years feeling just fine and then something could change, which could trigger my PTSD. The biggest thing is just knowing the signs that I'm spiraling and knowing when I need to ask for help."

"I'm glad that you were able to get the help you needed. I've heard such horror stories of military personnel returning from war and not getting the support and assistance they need."

"That is definitely a big issue. Some don't think they need it, but there is also this huge stigma against mental health, and I think that's the biggest issue. So many people deal with mental health issues, not just those in the military, yet it's the elephant in the room, so to speak. So many states are cutting funding for mental health services when in reality, we need to be putting more money into those services and reaching out to those that need it the most."

"I completely agree with you on those points. It is just sad to know so many people aren't getting the help they need."

He squeezes my hand and gives me a smile. "It really is, but enough talk about all that. What do you like to do for fun? I know you told me the other night that you like to go out dancing, but what else?" he asks, taking a drink of his beer.

"I don't even know anymore!" I laugh. "I've been so busy that I find I haven't had much free time the past year or so. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade the success we've had for anything, but I'm also looking forward to slowing down just a little bit. I've got a vacation planned to see my family over Thanksgiving and I might go back for Christmas. I hate missing the big holidays, especially being around my niece on Christmas. Experiencing that excitement through her eyes is just something else. I can't even explain it, you just have to be there to understand it."

"Sounds fun. I've never been around a little kid at Christmas time."

"Really?"

"Nope. Only child, so no siblings or nieces or nephews to spend the holidays with."

"Who do you usually spend the holidays with?"

"If I can, I'll come see my dad, or he's come to me over the years. I've only been stationed nearby for a little while. Other years, I was deployed or stationed overseas. When deployed, they provided a special meal when possible on the holidays. Traditional Thanksgiving feast on Thanksgiving, another big meal for Christmas."

"I've seen the images on TV when they show the different bases around the world during the football games and such on holidays. Glad to know that those serving our country are being taken care of."

"It's not all bad. We make the best out of a not always great situation."

"If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?" I ask.

"If money wasn't an issue, the Maldives Islands. Or a tour around all the countries in Europe for a couple months. What about you? Where would you go?"

"Anywhere! I love to travel. Europe has always been on my bucket list, but also places like Australia and New Zealand. Bora Bora or the Maldives Islands would also be amazing to travel to. My parents went to Thailand and Vietnam for a trip a few years ago and had a fantastic time. The pictures from their trip were stunning. Oh, I'd also love to go to Iceland! The pictures that I've seen online are just breathtakingly beautiful. Basically, I'd go pretty much anywhere."

Peyton smiles at me from across the table, then laughs. "Sounds like someone is itching to travel."

"I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up a travel website and planned out an entire vacation. Just never had anyone to go with or couldn't afford to go or, ya know, life. If I'm going to go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip, I want to have enough time to enjoy it. I don't want to be rushed. No sense in flying halfway across the world to only spend three days. It would take longer to get there and back than you'd have to explore. Not to mention how jet lagged you'd be."

"I completely understand. I've been fortunate enough to see some amazing places while I've been stationed around the world. Any long weekends I'd get when stationed in Japan would be spent out exploring the area as much as I could."

"That's so cool. How long were you stationed there?"

"Just under three years."

"So cool," I say again.

"It was one of my favorite bases to be stationed at so far."

We both finish up our food and drink, and our server clears the table. A few minutes later, she reappears with the check and Peyton gives her his card before I can offer to split the bill with him.

"Ready to go find some music and get to dancing?" he asks, standing and offering his hand to me.

"Ready." I take his hand as I stand up. He pulls me close to him and drops a chaste kiss to my lips.

"I've been wanting to do that since we got here," he says, before pulling back.

"Hmm...you should have said something sooner. Next time, we'll have to sit next to each other and you can kiss me whenever you want."

"I like the sound of that," he replies, dropping another kiss to my lips before leading me out of the restaurant and down the stairs to the bar area.