Ten

Haru is waiting for me outside. The marquee lights are bright against his face, bringing out the warmth in his skin. For a second, I thought he might have disappeared again. The moment I break through the doors, he smiles at me. Then he glances at my hand.

"Where's your camera?"

I touch my shoulder, sensing the strap is gone. " Shoot, I left it inside." It must be somewhere in the theater.

"Let's go get it," Haru says, turning to the door.

I grab his arm. "That guy's still in there!"

"I'm not scared of him."

"No, it's cool," I say, pulling him back. "I can just get it tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's no big deal." I hate the thought of losing my camera. But we only have so much time left tonight. I don't want to waste it looking around the theater. I'm sure it will still be there tomorrow. "There's somewhere I want to take you," I say. "It's only a few blocks from here."

"Another surprise for me?"

Haru smiles as I grab his hand, pulling him across the street.

There's a mile-long waterfront that cuts through the city. High-rises stretch from both sides of the water, offering gorgeous views of the Chicago River. It's a public space filled with cafés, bars, and wineries, with art pieces displayed along the way. People are sitting under patio umbrellas, having dinner along the water. It's a nice place to bring someone for a walk. I'm keeping Haru close to my side tonight. I don't want him to disappear out of the blue again.

Haru looks at me. "So you bring all your dates here?"

"Who said this was a date," I say playfully.

"My mistake…" He looks away, pretending to be hurt. We both chuckle at this. Then he glances at the water. "How long does this go?"

"A little over a mile," I say, keeping my eyes on him. "There are a few restaurants here, too, if you want to sit down."

"I'm enjoying our walk."

"Me, too."

We smile at each other. There's a slight chill in the air, but no winds tonight. A river vessel passes along the water. You can see people dining through the wraparound windows. Haru stares at it and says, "There must be a hundred people in there."

"It's one of those dinner cruises."

"I wonder what they're having."

"I wouldn't know. I've never even been on a boat."

"Really?"

We lean against the railing. Lights from the high-rises swirl in the river like an oil painting. Jasmine and I used to come here all the time, watching boats pass by. "I've always wanted to go on one of those boat tours. Just once, you know? I heard it's a lot of fun, seeing everything from the water. My mom would never let us do it. My sister said she'd go with me someday. We never did, though."

"How come?"

"She's really busy," I tell him. "And she doesn't live in the city anymore. But it's not a big deal."

I turn away from the railing and continue walking. But Haru lingers behind a little. "Well, look at that," he says. "Someone left a boat for us."

I turn around. A small wooden boat is tied along the dock. Was that there a moment ago?

"Where did that come from?" I ask.

"You walked right past it," Haru says. He looks up and down the path, as if to see if the coast is clear. "Do you think we could take it for a ride?"

"Of course not."

"I'm sure they won't mind us borrowing it."

Before I have a chance to object, Haru steps inside the boat. Then he turns around, holding out his hand to me. "Plenty of room for two."

"We can't just take someone's boat!"

Haru smirks. "You're not making me go alone, are you?"

"We could get in so much trouble!"

"We'll be back before anyone notices. I promise."

I press my lips together, glancing around the dock. There's no one else around but us. I stare at Haru for a long moment. The way he looks at me makes it hard to say no. I breathe out a sigh of defeat. "Alright, but not too long, okay?"

Haru takes my hand, helping me into the boat. Then he unties the rope, letting the currents slowly pull us away. I take a seat, trying not to be nervous. I mean, what if someone catches us? For some reason, Haru seems completely unfazed. He picks up a paddle, dipping it into the water.

"I can't believe we're doing this," I say.

"You said you've never been on a boat before."

"I didn't say I wanted to steal one!"

"We're only borrowing it," he reminds me, giving me a look. "And you're ruining the moment."

"Sorry." I sit up straight, folding my hands in my lap. The streetlamps look like floating orbs in the distance, casting ghostly lights along the river.

"I told you no one would notice," Haru says, keeping the paddle moving. "Bet you wish you had your camera."

"And document our crime? I don't think so." I lean to the side of the boat, dipping a finger in the water. "I have enough shots of Chicago already. More than I even know what to do with."

"You could make a documentary," Haru suggests.

"About what?"

"Your life here in the city."

"My life isn't interesting enough to be a documentary," I say. "A film about me would more likely be a tragedy."

"Some of the best love stories are tragedies, remember?"

I can't help smiling. As we continue down the river, I take in the view of the high-rises, the squares of light from their windows. It really is a beautiful night for a boat ride. I'm glad I get to experience this with Haru. I've lived in Chicago my entire life. But it sort of feels like I'm seeing it for the first time. Maybe the view changes when you're looking at it with someone else. I start to think about the film I need to work on. "Maybe a documentary isn't the worst idea. Something like a love letter to the city. I'm sure I'll appreciate it when I'm gone."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet."

"New York City?" Haru asks, raising his brow at me. "I saw it written down in your notebook."

"You went through my stuff?"

"I needed paper to make your gift."

I laugh a little. "It's only a thought," I say, staring out at the water again. "I'm not sure that's in the cards anymore. It becomes a lot harder to get in when you take a year off for no reason."

"But there was a reason," Haru says.

"I still wish I hadn't," I admit to him. I think back to last spring, when everyone started receiving their college acceptance letters. "Daniel and I were supposed to go together, you know? I didn't like the thought of going without him. I never even opened the acceptance letter. He would probably be disappointed if he knew."

"I'm sure he'd understand."

"Can I tell you something else?" I look at Haru. "I never wanted to go to the University of Indiana. They don't even have a real film program."

Haru blinks at me. "Then why apply?"

"Because Daniel was going. I didn't really care about anything else."

Haru leans back in thought. A breeze ruffles his hair as he nods at me. "I don't blame you," he says.

"You don't think it was stupid of me?"

"That would just make me a hypocrite."

"How so?"

"Because I came all the way here for you," he says, looking at me. "I had no idea if you would remember me. All I knew was I wanted to see you again."

"Of course I remembered. I wanted to see you, too."

Haru places his hand on my knee. "I wish I had gone looking sooner."

"That's okay," I say, feeling the warmth of his skin. "It just makes this moment more special."

We both smile.

As we continue along the river, Haru suddenly leans forward, making me go still. When his hand softly grazes my cheek, I close my eyes for a moment. That's when I feel the first sprinkle of rain. Haru must have felt it, too, because he leans back again, staring at the sky. I probably should have checked the weather tonight. Because the next thing we know, it's pouring.

I grab the other paddle, helping us get back faster. We're completely drenched when we finally reach the dock. Haru climbs out first and holds out his hand for me. Then we run under a bridge for cover, hands over our heads. Rain pours down in sheets, walling us in from the outside. We'll have to wait it out for a while. It's not so bad, though, feeling separated from the rest of the world. I'm secretly happy that we're stuck here together.

But I get a strange feeling Haru might disappear again. I put my arms around him, holding him close to me. "Don't leave yet, okay? I don't want to be alone."

"Who said I was leaving?"

"Just promise me."

"I'm not going anywhere," he says. "Otherwise, I couldn't do this."

Haru lifts my chin with his hand, taking me by surprise. Then he leans in and says, "In case I disappear…"

The next thing I know, his lips press against mine. I feel a warmth moving between us like electricity. I close my eyes, ignoring the vibrations of passing cars from the bridge overhead. The rain continues to pour around us. But all I can hear is the sound of my heart beating in my chest. For a moment, there's no one else in the world except us. You and I are the only thing that's real.

The rain has calmed by the time we get home. I grab some clothes from the closet and toss them to Haru. I insisted that he stay the night again. As I'm changing out of my shirt, Haru glances at my desk, noticing the paper things he's left me. He doesn't say anything about them. He just smiles to himself as he walks around the room. There's a little Bluetooth speaker on my dresser. Haru picks it up and asks, "Is this for your music?"

"Yeah, it's my—"

Haru presses a button, turning it on. I don't realize it's connected to my phone until music starts to play. What was the last song I was listening to? Before I can grab my phone, Brandy's wistful voice fills the room, singing:

Have you ever loved somebody so much,

it makes you cry

I take the speaker from Haru and shut it off immediately. The room goes silent again. "Sorry. I don't want to wake my parents up." "Have You Ever" is the best unrequited love song there is, and no one can convince me otherwise. But it's meant for late nights when you're alone, looking to feel something.

I put the speaker away and check the time. It's almost midnight. Haru still hasn't changed out of his clothes. His damp shirt clings to his skin, showing the lines of his chest. "Do you want a different shirt or something?"

"It's actually warm in here." Haru pulls his shirt over his head. Then he looks at me again. "I hope it's okay that I sleep like this."

I take him in for a second. His skin glistens from being in the rain. Then I pull my eyes away. "Uh, sure," I stutter.

We dry ourselves off and climb into bed. Haru takes the right side again. Even though I'm feeling tired, I don't want to fall asleep yet. I lie on my side, keeping a close watch on him.

Haru looks at me. "What is it?"

"I'm just surprised you're still here."

"What do you mean? We came back together."

"No, I mean, I thought you would have disappeared by now."

Haru moves the hair out of my face and says, "I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"What if I fall asleep? Will you be there when I wake up?"

"I'm not sure."

"How come?"

Haru thinks about this. "I don't really control when I go. But I wish I could."

I press my lips together. "Then I won't. I'll just stay up all night."

Haru kisses my hand. "I'll stay up with you then."

I lean in closer to him. Rain lightly patters against the window as we lie awake together. Neither of us says much. We just stare at each other, making sure the other doesn't fall asleep. But it gets harder and harder to keep my eyes open. The second I start to drift off, I squeeze Haru's hand, making sure he's there.

"I'm here," he whispers.

"Just making sure."

"You seem very tired."

"Not at all. Just resting my eyes."

"Whatever you say."

"In case I fall asleep, though. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"If you disappear again, how will I find you?"

Haru kisses my forehead and says, "Don't worry about that. Just know that I'll find you. I promise."

I hope he keeps this promise. Because I would spend the rest of my life looking for him. I don't say anything after this. I'm too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. It's not until some light creeps through the blinds that I realize the sun is rising. I squeeze Haru's hand one last time before I allow myself to drift off. The last thing I remember is feeling his fingers slipping through mine before everything goes black.