Chapter 21

21

NUMBER SIXTEEN, brIEFLY, AND NUMBER SEVEN

‘I thought so,' she said. ‘I mean, I wasn't sure, I've not…'

‘Nor me.'

‘Really? You didn't know?'

‘How could I? I could have gone my whole life without knowing, if I hadn't met you, Isabella. Men generally take charge. I always have. It's expected.'

‘Exactly, Bear,' she said eagerly, shaking back her hair, which did absolutely nothing for his fragile composure. ‘You know… We said we wouldn't talk about before, I know we did, but I think I have to. I was a virgin when I married, obviously, and Ash, my husband, he was not, and so naturally he took charge, as you said. He was wonderful – don't worry, I won't say any more, it wouldn't be right, but he was, it was. We were very happy. I won't have you thinking we weren't. But he was in control always. I mean, I could initiate things, in bed. I did, often. I could speak entirely frankly with him, and he with me. But I don't think I ever commanded him, "Do this, do that, pleasure me!" I'm sure I didn't, actually. I was young, and it would never have occurred to me that a woman might do such a thing.'

‘But now it has. And…?' It was a struggle to speak. He didn't enjoy hearing about her husband, her lost love. But he would swallow it, in order to have this extraordinary conversation with her and to know her thoughts on this above all topics.

‘I love it. I really do. I love being your mistress. I love commanding you. I love knowing that you will do exactly what I tell you to do. I thought you liked it excessively too; I knew somehow that you did.'

‘I remember when I realised,' he said slowly as he absorbed the impact of her words. ‘I was obeying you, making love to you as you ordered, and suddenly I knew that half the pleasure was in the obeying – that's not quite right, but you understand me, I hope. I might have come in that moment, just from the knowing. It was… freeing. Like nothing I've ever experienced.'

‘Freeing,' she mused. ‘Yes, that's precisely what it is. For both of us. So,' she said, a mischievous light in her brown eyes, ‘we've established that you like the rules. My rules. Which means that you wouldn't want to see the list, which is in that little inlaid box over there, by the way, even if I offered to show it to you?'

‘I'd have to read it, if you ordered me to,' he replied humbly. He was going to embrace this fully, it seemed. Whatever this curious thing was that they had found they shared. Even though it was like being offered the knowledge of how long you were going to live, of precisely when you were going to die. Imagine if he discovered that there were only twelve items on the list. Only ten. His heart was racing.

‘I suppose you would,' she mused. She'd pulled back her hair completely to fall down her back now, leaving her lush, naked body entirely exposed to him once more, and he couldn't take his eyes off her. ‘But I don't think I should do that. I think the anticipation, the not being sure what's next but knowing that I know, is part of your pleasure too.'

‘It is.' His pleasure, and his torture. They were the same.

‘Oh Bear, my Bear,' she said. ‘I won't be cruel to you and make you read it. I think, though, that I should tell you that I've added some items to the list recently. I wasn't sure of them, but now that we've spoken about this so frankly, I am.'

‘I was contemplating… asking you to do that.' It was a reprieve of a kind. At least he knew there would be more precious nights together.

‘I think I've shown that I'm prepared to be flexible,' she said seriously. ‘I added eight (a) for you. I could add other things. If you're good.'

‘I do plan to be,' he said fervently.

‘And I should tell you,' she went on, ‘that you probably think that that was eight (b), but it wasn't. I changed my mind. It was nine.'

‘What's eight (b), mistress?'

‘Me on top, riding you.'

Of course it was. ‘That would have been wonderful too.' He'd pictured it. He thought he'd probably pictured everything, but, of course, he couldn't know.

‘It will be wonderful. Quite soon, I should think. Exactly how soon, of course, is up to you.' She commenced touching herself quite casually as she looked at him, her fingers teasing her nipple. She'd done that before, he remembered. It had affected him deeply then, and it did so again now, all the more since she was magnificently naked. And he was.

He swallowed. ‘I had hoped I need not leave you quite yet. These autumn nights are so long.'

‘You made certain assumptions, wicked Bear.'

‘I wouldn't call it that. I was in the navy; I like to be prepared for every eventuality.'

‘"England expects that every man will do his duty,"' she quoted idly. And then, ‘Oh! Is that in poor taste? If so, I'm sorry.'

He was laughing. ‘I think if we know anything at all about Admiral Lord Nelson – I did meet him once briefly when I was just a lad, though of course I never had the opportunity to speak to him – it's that he would very thoroughly have approved of a beautiful woman sitting naked in a bed, touching herself in a highly provocative manner and ordering a sailor to do his duty. His only comment, I imagine,' he said, putting his hand high up on her thigh and caressing it, ‘would have been that an officer and a gentleman shouldn't need to be told. I expect he'd consider that a gross dereliction of duty.'

‘Well,' she said, her own hand slipping down her body, to the damp curls between her thighs. ‘I don't suppose you will need to be told twice. And in that spirit, before we come to eight (b), you remember number seven, for which you had a natural aptitude?'

‘Of course I do. I don't think it's the sort of thing I could ever forget.' He was lying down so that he could kiss her inner thighs now, more slowly than he had last time, and her fingers were still buried between her legs. In a moment, he would nudge them gently aside with his nose. In a moment. Or perhaps he'd kiss them, while she continued. Lick them. That sounded messy but interesting.

‘Is this on the list, you touching yourself?' he said against her skin, and then his tongue crept out to explore her fingers as she slid them back and forward across her nub. His eyes were closed, and so as he licked greedily he didn't know from second to second whether he would encounter her wickedly determined fingers, or her tender responsive flesh, or, wonderfully, both.

‘Naturally!' she gasped. ‘Number sixteen, I think. Would you like to watch that to its conclusion? Oh Lord, I think you would. But this doesn't count. I'm going to stop doing this in a moment, and let you take over. Since you're so good at it, Bear.'

He was, more than ever before, hers to command.