Chapter Thirty-Seven

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

RILEY WALKS WITH Evan to the park in the chilly October air. It's sunny and bright, but they're in low spirits. They'd both skipped school and visited Mrs Brewer again, spending a couple of hours with her helping to plan the funeral, which is to be on Wednesday.

Planning the funeral has upset Riley. Mrs Brewer had told them it would be a closed coffin. Riley was relieved to hear that, but Riley doesn't like to think of Diana in a coffin at all, being lowered into the cold, deep ground in the cemetery. The sound of the dirt hitting the coffin, with Diana inside. Her being covered by the weight of all that earth. Riley thinks that when the time comes, she might have a panic attack. ‘I don't know if I can do it,' she says.

‘Do what?' Evan answers, turning to her. They're at the park now, headed for the empty swings.

‘The burial. I think I can do the funeral, but I don't think I can do the burial, in the cemetery.' She stops walking. She begins to tremble, and Evan regards her with concern. ‘The idea of her underground, for ever …' She knows she must look like she's losing it. She stares intently at Evan. ‘What's happened to her, do you think?'

He stares back at her as if confused by the question. ‘What do you mean?'

‘Do you think she's up there, watching us? Or is she gone, and there's nothing left of her at all?' She's shaking now uncontrollably. It's not fair that Diana died so soon. So young. Is that all there is? She hopes there's more, that Diana isn't gone for ever. It's bad enough, the thought of her body disintegrating in the cold, dark ground, the worms – it's terrifying.

‘There's no such thing as life after death,' Evan says.

‘How do you know?' she cries. ‘Maybe she's still here, with us, watching us. Maybe she can't rest until they find her killer.'

‘That's ridiculous,' Evan says. He seems uneasy, as if he doesn't know how to manage her and her outburst of emotion.

‘I'm not so sure,' she says. She takes deep breaths, trying to calm down. ‘There's something you don't know. Something we did once, that we never told anyone.'

‘What the hell are you talking about?' Evan says.

Riley starts walking again, toward a nearby bench, and sits down. He sits beside her. The cold of the bench quickly seeps through her jeans.

‘We didn't tell you guys, we didn't tell anybody, because we thought you'd make fun of us.' She takes another deep breath and tells him. ‘We had a sleepover, a couple of months ago. At Diana's place. Sadie Kelly was there too.' She pauses, then continues. ‘You know how Diana liked to tell ghost stories.' She looks at him. ‘That night she was telling some wild ones, and we were all laughing, just joking around. And then she suggested we try calling some spirits.'

‘Seriously?' he says dismissively.

‘No, wait, listen!' she says urgently. ‘Sadie said, How? It's not like we have a Ouija board handy. ' Riley stops suddenly, remembering how strange it was, how unsettling. ‘And Diana said we could make one.' She continues. ‘So Diana wrote down all the letters of the alphabet, and Yes and No, and the numbers one through ten on a piece of paper, and then cut them all out in little squares. And then she put them down on her hardwood floor in a circle. We were all sitting there in our pyjamas. Nobody was taking it seriously. We were eating crisps and drinking wine Sadie had brought and laughing. Diana went downstairs and got another wineglass and a candle. Her mom had gone to bed already. Diana lit the candle and turned out all the lights. Then she flipped the wineglass upside down on the floor inside all the letters and we sat there in a circle. Diana told us to put a fingertip on top of the upturned wineglass. I thought it was a bit ridiculous, but Sadie and I went along with it. Diana told us that she'd heard about doing it this way, that it worked better than some store-made Ouija board. So the three of us sat in the dark, with the candle flickering, with Diana saying, Is anybody there? Are there any spirits around tonight? Any lost souls? It was creepy.' Riley stops and shivers involuntarily.

‘So that's it?' Evan says.

‘No.' Riley shakes her head, takes a deep breath. ‘Then it got weird.'