Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

RILEY SITS ON her bed, her hands clasped tightly around her drawn-up knees, giving in to her darkest thoughts. She doesn't find it impossible to imagine that Cameron might have murdered Diana. She knows that when a woman is murdered, it's usually the husband or the boyfriend. One part of her thinks this, while another part of her is screaming silently in pain and fear: This can't be happening. Less than twenty-four hours ago her world made sense; now it makes no sense at all.

She doesn't know how she will ever get over the loss of Diana, how she will ever be able to let her go. She looks down at the cell phone in her hand. She doesn't know why she does it – she texts Diana even though she knows she's dead.

Hey, Diana. I miss you.

She knows it's stupid and childish, but she does it anyway and then sits there waiting for the ping of an answer that will never come, tears spilling down her face.

I wish you were here. I wish I knew what happened to you.

She scrolls up and stares at the last text she had from Diana, the night before, at 9:52.

Cameron on his way over to pick me up.

She'd shown it to the detectives.

Riley can't bear it. She wants to ask Cameron straight out if he did it, if he lost his temper and did this awful thing. He wouldn't tell her if he did, but maybe she will be able to tell if he's lying.

We'll find out, Diana , she texts. We'll find out who did this to you.

Riley gets up off the bed and goes down the hall to the bathroom and washes her face. Then she goes downstairs and finds her mom in the kitchen. She says, ‘I'm going over to Cameron's for a minute.'

‘What? No, you're not,' her mother says. She sounds like she means it.

‘I need to talk to him,' Riley insists. Her mother knows what she's worried about; she was with her in the police station.

Her mom takes a deep breath and says, ‘Do you think that's a good idea?'

‘I have to speak to him,' Riley says stubbornly. Riley knows she gets her stubbornness from her mother. For a moment there's a standoff.

‘I don't want you out there alone in the dark. I'll drive you,' her mom says finally. Riley starts to say something, but her mom cuts her off. ‘You can talk to him as long as his parents are home, and I'm sure they are. Don't worry, I'll wait for you in the car. You can take as long as you need.'

They grab their jackets and leave together for the short drive to Cameron's house. When they get there and her mother parks in the driveway, Riley looks out at the wooden farmhouse with the screened-in porch, so familiar to her from so many get-togethers, and has to steel herself for a moment before she gets out of the car. But then she opens the door. Her mother stays in the car.

When Cameron's mother answers the door, Riley is shocked to see how terrible she looks. But Mrs Farrell loved Diana, too, Riley thinks, and Cameron must be a mess. They probably don't know that Diana was thinking of breaking up with him. ‘Can I talk to Cameron?' Riley asks on the doorstep.

‘I'm sorry, Riley, but he doesn't want to see anybody,' Mrs Farrell says.

‘He'll want to see me,' Riley says, brushing past her, and walking inside the house toward the stairs. She turns back and says over her shoulder, ‘Where is he?'

‘You can't just barge in here,' Mrs Farrell protests as Cameron's dad appears from the kitchen.

But Riley ignores them both and starts up the stairs, assuming that's where Cameron will be. Riley knows her way around the house. She knocks on Cameron's closed bedroom door at the top of the stairs. ‘Cameron, it's Riley. I want to talk.'

Riley holds her breath standing outside Cameron's door, his mom and dad lingering protectively at the bottom of the stairs.

‘I don't want to talk to anyone. Leave me alone,' he says from behind the door.

His voice sounds different, full of tears. ‘I'm not leaving,' Riley says, her own voice catching on a sob. She waits until he opens the door. Cameron looks utterly miserable. He's been crying a lot, Riley thinks. His handsome face is red and swollen. And his expression – he looks completely desolate, as if his life is over.

The first thing Riley does is hug him. Then Cameron closes the door, and they sit on his bed.

‘I can't believe she's gone,' Cameron says finally.

‘I know,' Riley says bleakly. They sit in silence. Then she reaches out and grasps his hand, squeezes it. She lets the silence grow. Finally she says, ‘Cameron, what happened with the police?'

He looks at her warily. ‘What do you mean?'

‘They questioned you … you're not a suspect, are you?' Riley asks, as if she's worried he might be.

‘Of course not. They know I loved her.'

‘Good,' Riley says, nodding sadly. ‘What did you tell them?'

‘I told them the truth. I picked her up in my dad's truck, we drove around, parked, made out. I dropped her back home about eleven and went home. I don't know what happened to her after that.' But he's not looking at her now.

Riley isn't sure she believes him. Why won't he look at her? ‘You guys didn't argue or anything?' she asks tentatively.

He glances at her defensively and then looks away again. ‘No, of course not. What would we have to argue about?'

Riley gathers herself and says, ‘I know Diana didn't want to go to the same college as you next year. She told me.'

‘Oh,' he says, glancing at her again. ‘What else did she tell you?'

‘Nothing. Just that,' Riley says. She doesn't tell him that she knows Diana was thinking of breaking up with him.

‘We didn't argue about it,' Cameron says. ‘She was happy when I left her at her door last night. That's the last I saw of her.'

Riley stares at him, waiting for more. He still won't meet her eyes.

Shelby Farrell watches Riley leave and turns to her husband. ‘That girl is pretty ballsy,' she says tensely.

Edward rests his hand on her shoulder. ‘Maybe it was good for him. He needs his friends right now.'

Shelby looks up at him. She's not so sure. She doesn't know what they talked about, what Cameron might have told Riley. She knows kids talk to one another more than they talk to their parents. What if he told her something he shouldn't, and the police get it out of her? Shelby can't carry this on her shoulders alone any longer; she's been doing that all day, and now, as darkness falls, she decides she can't do it any more. She must tell her husband. She pulls him down the stairs to the finished basement where they can't be overheard.

‘There's something I have to tell you,' she says.

‘What?' He immediately looks concerned.

She says in a low voice, ‘Cameron is lying about what time he came home last night.'

His eyes widen. ‘What are you talking about?'

She tells him how she woke up and Cameron wasn't there. How she waited for him to come home, which he did, at 1:11 a.m.

‘He lied to the police! Why would he lie about that?' she asks her husband in a hushed voice.

He looks stunned, as if he can't absorb it. She helps him. ‘Do you think he lied because his curfew is eleven thirty? He probably left her there like he said, only he lied about the time? Remember we grounded him once because he came in past curfew, and he was furious.'

‘Yes, but – he wouldn't lie to the police just because of his curfew, would he?' Edward asks doubtfully. He looks alarmed now.

She is not getting the reassurance she was hoping for. It looks like Edward doesn't buy the explanation she's been grasping at. She finds she can't breathe for a minute, because she's afraid she doesn't believe it either.

‘We have to ask him,' Edward says.

‘No.'

‘What do you mean, no?' Edward says.

‘Maybe,' she says, feeling sick, ‘maybe it's better if we don't ask him. Let's – let's just assume it's because of the curfew. He must be telling the truth about everything else.'

‘What? Shelby, we can't just ignore this.'

‘Yes, we can. He's lied before about things to avoid getting in trouble. You know that. About where he was, what time he got home. Teenage stuff. I'm sure this is no different.' She turns and flees up the stairs, as if she's running away.

Riley gets into the car beside her mother, closes the door, and says, ‘Go.'

Her mother backs out of the driveway, silent. She's obviously waiting for her to tell her how it went. But Riley is churning inside; she suspects Cameron was lying. She's having trouble catching her breath. If only she could talk to Diana. She starts to sob again. Her mother looks over at her anxiously. ‘Riley, what happened? What did he say?'

She pulls herself together and says, ‘He said he dropped her home at eleven, and everything was fine.' She keeps her suspicions to herself; she doesn't want her mother urging her to go back to the police. She says, ‘It's just so fucking sad.'

When they arrive home, Riley goes directly to her bedroom and closes the door. She climbs onto her bed and stares at her cell phone. Finally, she texts Evan.