Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Josie

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s shaking?”

I tucked my cell between my shoulder and my ear and leaned forward for one last brushstroke. “Hi, Opal. Not much. Just painting the inside of the kitchen cabinets. Nothing too exciting.”

“Well, good. Then there’s no reason you can’t join us. I’m meeting some of the girls for dinner tonight. Elsie Wren is in town. She moved down to Florida to be near her daughter, but she comes up once or twice a year, and we try to get together. She lived a few houses down from your dad growing up. They were pretty good friends. Thought you might like to meet her.”

Fox had texted a little while ago and asked if I had plans tonight, but I hadn’t responded yet. Things had been off ever since our conversation Sunday morning, yet neither of us had spoken of the reason why. I’d felt like something was missing the last four days, not speaking to him or seeing him. It made me realize how deep I was already in, and I was terrified of falling any more when there wasn’t a future for us. If four days felt like a lifetime, what would four months without seeing him feel like?

So it was good that Opal had called. She would give me the distraction I needed. “I’d love to join you. Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Great. Seven at the Laurel Lake Inn. Gotta run before the boss gets back and finds me on the phone again. He was particularly grumpy after hearing me talk to my mother about menopause this morning.”

I laughed. “I’ll see you then.”

After I hung up, I finished painting and washed the brushes. Then I shot off a quick response to Fox.

Josie: Sorry, I have plans tonight.

A response chimed before I could set my phone back down.

Fox: Are you upset with me?

Josie: Why would I be upset?

Fox: Because I fucked up Sunday.

I sighed.

Josie: You were only being honest. It is what it is.

Fox: Can I stop over later when you get home?

I needed to protect myself, even if I didn’t want to.

Josie: I think I’ll be too tired. Maybe another time.

Feeling glum, I tossed my cell on the table and decided to go out back and get some fresh air. The lake always brought me a sense of peace, and I really wanted to look for Daisy again. I’d checked every day since Sunday, and there had been no sign of her. This morning a cluster of ducks swam by, and I thought it might’ve been the group she’d joined, but I couldn’t be sure. I only knew Daisy’s markings.

After a while, with no sign of her again today, I gave up and went inside to get ready for dinner.

As I was about to leave, my cell phone rang. My pulse quickened, thinking it might be Fox. But it wasn’t. Noah’s name flashed on the screen. I ignored it, but after a minute it started ringing again. So I swiped to answer on speakerphone while starting the car.

“Hello?”

“Oh hey. I was expecting to go to voicemail again. I called a few minutes ago but you didn’t pick up.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I didn’t leave a message the first time because I figured it would give me an excuse to call back. But then I realized that was stupid and you would probably never answer when you saw my name, so I called back to leave a voicemail.” He paused. “It’s good to hear your voice, Josie.”

“What do you want, Noah?”

“Can I ask how you’re doing first? I’m guessing once I’ve said what I called to say you’re going to rush me off the phone.”

He was right. I regretted picking up the phone and having to talk to him this much already. “I’m fine. What’s up?”

Noah sighed. “I got an email reminder about the vacation we have booked next month—to Aruba.”

I’d forgotten all about that trip. “What about it?”

“It’s non-refundable.”

Other than being glad he’d been the one to put down the deposit, I wasn’t sure what he expected of me. “Okay…”

“I was hoping maybe we could still go. As friends. It would give us a chance to talk things through. We have a suite with a living room, so I could sleep on the couch, if you wanted.”

Is he serious?“There’s nothing to talk about, Noah.”

“We’ve never even had a civilized conversation about what happened.”

“You cheated on me. I caught you with your dick in a woman’s mouth. There’s nothing more to discuss.”

“I made a mistake. A big one. I miss you, Jos. Can’t we talk about it? I’ll do whatever you want to get you to forgive me.”

“It’s not about forgiveness, Noah. It’s about trust.”

“We can rebuild it.”

“No. We can’t. Trust is fragile, like a mirror. Once it’s broken, it’s shattered. Even if you put all the pieces back together, you always see the cracks. It’s never the same. Besides, I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last few months. And I don’t think we were as good of a fit as I made myself believe.”

“That’s not true. We were perfect together.”

It made sense that Noah thought that. I’d never given him any indication that I wasn’t happy before that night in the hospital parking lot. And truthfully, I’d thought I was happy too. But being in therapy and spending time with a man who asked me what I wanted had made me realize I was selling myself short. In a weird way, I was grateful Noah had cheated. Otherwise, I might have settled.

“I have to run. You should use the trip. Go by yourself and do some reflecting.”

“I’m not going without you. I’d be miserable. You can go alone, if you want. I still have your passport. You left it here when I was booking everything.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going to go either, Noah. But I do need my passport.”

“I’ll mail it to you, with the itinerary for the trip, in case you change your mind.”

“I’m not home.”

“I know. You still share your location with me on your iPhone. You don’t know how many times I’ve been tempted to get in the car and drive down to Forty-Six Rosewood Lane to talk to you.”

Oh gosh. I’d obviously given him that access during better times. Now I felt almost violated. I knew what I’d be doing the minute I hung up. “I gotta run, Noah.”

“Can I call you again?”

“I’m sorry. I’d rather you didn’t.”

Not surprising, Noah hung up without saying goodbye after that. He was never tolerant when he didn’t get his way. It was probably only a matter of time before he started to angry spew, so it was for the best. Plus, I needed to get on the road or I’d be late. Though it would have to wait another minute or two—until I figured out how to stop Noah from seeing my location.

***

“There she is!” Opal engulfed me in a hug the minute the hostess brought me to the table. It was only one minute after seven, but I was the last to arrive. “Let me make the introductions. You already met Bettina at her twin sister Bernadette’s house party. And Frannie here works at the post office, so you know her.”

I nodded to both of them. “Hi. It’s good to see you.”

Opal motioned to the last person at the table—the only face I didn’t recognize. “And this here is Elsie Wren.”

The woman stood and extended her hand. “Lovely to meet you. Your father was a dear friend of mine. I was very sad to hear about his passing.”

“Thank you.”

As soon as we sat, the waiter brought over a bottle of wine. Opal looked to me. “We ordered a merlot. Is that okay with you? If not, they have others by the glass.”

“Merlot is great. Thank you.”

Opal leaned over and whispered, “Heard you had some wine this weekend?”

I was pretty shocked that Fox would share that we went away together. When she saw my face, she cackled.

“No, the big galoot didn’t tell me. Porter started dating a schoolteacher recently. Rita—as in Rita’s Beanery and Bettina here’s little sister—happens to live next door to the woman. Porter told the teacher who told Rita who told Bernadette who told Bettina who told me.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe Porter kept it a secret from me. But anywho…” She patted my hand. “I’m happy for you. Fox is a pain in my ass, but he’s a good, loyal man. I love the grumpy butthead. But don’t you go telling him that.”

I laughed. “I won’t.”

Bettina grabbed a breadstick from the middle of the table and waved it at me. “Did your father ever stop pulling his pants down? I forgot all about him and Tommy Miller’s shenanigans until Elsie just reminded me.”

“Stop…pulling his pants down?” I said.

Elsie chuckled. “When they were about ten, your father and Tommy made a contest out of mooning each other when the other least expected it. Tommy would knock on Henry’s door, and Henry would answer by pressing his butt cheeks up against the storm door. Or Henry would be riding his bicycle behind Tommy, and Tommy would drop his shorts and flash him where the sun don’t shine. It went on for years.”

“I definitely never heard about any mooning before.”

“This one time, half the girls in our grade saw your daddy’s backside. Henry was in the marching band. When it rained, they would practice in the auditorium on the stage. Tommy didn’t play an instrument, but those boys were connected at the hip. So Tommy did the stage lighting and worked the curtains and stuff. One afternoon, Henry thought it would be funny if he was bent over on the stage when Tommy opened the curtains to get ready for practice. He hadn’t anticipated that the girls’ soccer team would walk into the room right before Tommy drew the curtains. With their coach.”

Everyone laughed, and it set the mood for the next hour. Elsie had a million funny stories to share, but the others all interjected little bits and pieces along the way. It made me envious of how they’d gotten to grow up. Sure, people were in each other’s business, but the upside of that was the community felt like one big family. It was the polar opposite of how I’d been raised—going to private school where people were too busy with things like cello lessons and fencing competitions to get to know each other. My sterile house where only the nanny was ever home lacked the warmth the people of Laurel Lake exuded when talking about their childhood. It made me question how I’d want to raise my own kids someday, something I’d never given any real thought.

We were in the middle of ordering dessert when Opal elbowed me. She lifted her chin toward the hostess stand. “Look what the cat dragged in. And it’s not even Tuesday…”

I looked across the room, and my heart skipped a beat. All eyes at our table joined me in looking at the man talking to the hostess.

Fox glanced up, probably feeling ten eyes burning into him. He locked gazes with me and smiled. But the corners of his lips quickly fell when he took in the other people at my table. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

“You better not be trying to pretend you don’t see us!” Opal yelled across the restaurant.

For a second, I thought Fox might make a run for it. But after he finished talking to the hostess, he walked over. The look on his face was something I might expect when a man walked to take his place in front of a firing squad. He did not look thrilled.

“What are you doing here?” Opal asked. “Last time I looked, it was Thursday. Pork tenderloin is your Tuesday meal.”

Fox’s eyes slid to me. “Came to get a piece of cheesecake, since I can’t bake one for shit.”

“You don’t eat sweets.”

I smiled, touched that he’d remembered what I’d told him about my dad using his homemade cheesecake as a peace offering. I wiggled my fingers. “Hi.”

We shared a wordless smile, and a minute later the hostess walked over with a brown paper bag.

“Here you go, Fox.”

“Thanks, Syl.”

Fox didn’t seem to know how to handle himself in front of the crew I was seated with. He was uncharacteristically awkward, which I found endearing. He nodded toward the door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.” I put my napkin on the table and looked to four beaming women. “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

Fox and I walked into the empty lobby. Once we were out of sight, I pointed my eyes to the bag in his hand. “Hankering?”

He shoved his empty hand into his pocket and looked down. “I was hoping to bring it over when you got home later, if it’s not too late. I owe you an apology.”

I wanted nothing more than to spend some time with him. A few days had felt like forever. But I also recognized that a quick fix now would only make breaking the addiction harder in the long run.

I smiled sadly. “Fox, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been clear since the first time we met that you weren’t looking for more than what we had. And quite honestly, it was the absolute last thing I was looking for, too.”

Fox’s eyes seared into mine. “Sometimes what you’re looking for comes when you’re not looking at all.”

It was like someone took a bicycle pump to my deflated heart and pumped it back up again. Hope bloomed inside my chest. Though there was still fear there, plenty of it, and I needed what he meant spelled out. “What are you saying?”

Fox reached for my hand and lifted it to his lips for a kiss. “Text me when you get in. Let’s talk without an audience.”

I hadn’t thought we had one, but Fox lifted his chin causing me to turn. All four of my dinner companions were out of their chairs, leaning to one side of the table to spy into the lobby. One head on top of another, they looked like a totem pole. Seeing us turn and catch them, they all scurried back to their seats. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I shouldn’t be too much longer. We’re finished with dinner.”

Fox nodded. “Safe drive.”