Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Josie

I hit the Join button at 5:59. It might’ve been the first time I’d looked forward to my therapy session. My head had been spinning all day, after the amazing weekend I’d spent with Fox, and I thought it might be nice to talk through what I was feeling with someone.

Cynthia joined right on time with a smile. “Hi, Josie.”

I adjusted my laptop screen so she could see my whole face over Zoom. “Hi. How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Your hair looks nice. Did you do something different?”

“No, I just blew it out for a change.”

“Are you going somewhere special tonight?”

I didn’t have any plans, but a certain grumpy neighbor had texted and asked if he could stop by later. “Not really. Well, umm…I guess someone’s coming over.”

Even fourteen-hundred miles away and talking over the Internet, my therapist could read me. She smiled. “Do you want to talk about whoever is coming over?”

I let out an anxious breath. “I actually do.”

“I’m going to guess it’s a male guest?”

I nodded. “My neighbor Fox.”

“Oh. You’ve mentioned him before. When you first got down there, I think. He’s the one who gave you a hard time about doing the construction yourself, right?”

I nibbled on my bottom lip. I’d forgotten I’d brought him up during one of my previous sessions. “Yes. He did give me a hard time. But he’s also helped me a lot. That’s sort of Fox’s MO, a giant contradiction. But the house wouldn’t be in half as good a shape without everything he’s done.”

“That’s great. Helpful neighbors are worth their weight in gold.” She paused. “Is there anything else you want to tell me about him?”

My mind immediately fired off lots of things…

He’s great in bed.

His dick is scary huge.

We didn’t get out of bed the entire weekend.

But instead I went with something more conservative.

“We’ve been spending time together. Intimate time, I mean.”

Cynthia kept her face neutral. “Okay. And how do you feel about that? Do you think you’re ready for a relationship?”

I shook my head. “Oh, it’s not a relationship. It’s just…sex.”

“That type of relationship definitely has its perks. Of course, it also has its pitfalls.”

“I’ve only experienced the perks so far.” I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Lots of perks,actually.”

My therapist smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. But tell me why it’s a sex-only arrangement and not the beginning of something more. Is that your doing?”

“I’m not even sure, to be honest. I think we both have a lot of baggage and want to keep it simple. He took me on a date to a fancy restaurant because he thought that’s what I would expect. Then when I mentioned his dead fiancée during dinner, he disappeared to the bathroom. When he came back, he tried to tell me our going out was a bad idea because he couldn’t give me what I needed. That’s when I suggested we take the food home and just have sex.”

“Oh my. His fiancée died?”

I nodded. “I’m not even sure how. The only thing I know is her first name was Evie. He definitely shuts down at the mention of her, even casually.”

“And this arrangement is what you really want? Sometimes relationships like this can get sticky. Even when two people go into it with the same mindset, things can change. Despite the best of intentions, one of you could develop feelings while the other doesn’t.”

“That wouldn’t be a good idea for so many reasons—the biggest being I live in New York, and he lives here.”

“That’s an obstacle not a barrier. People can move.”

I laughed. “Not Fox. The man doesn’t like change. He’s a creature of habit. He eats the same thing for dinner on the same night every week. If you look up the word immovable in the dictionary, I’m pretty certain there’s a picture of Fox Cassidy. And of course, my work and apartment are in New York.”

“I see.” Cynthia paused and wrote some notes. “Aside from this new arrangement with the neighbor, how have you been feeling? How has your sleeping been?”

I’d slept better than I had in years after sex with Fox. The man was like a sleeping pill. “Really good, actually.”

“What about your energy level? Have you been spending time in bed when you’re not sleeping?”

“Well, this weekend I spent a lot of time in bed not sleeping.”

Cynthia smiled again. “Right. I guess I walked into that one. Appetite okay?”

“Are we still talking about the time I spent in bed the last few days?”

She laughed. “I was referring to your hunger for food. But I think it’s great that your sexual appetite is strong.”

“I’ve been eating pretty well, too. Honestly, I feel like the old me again—the one before the meltdown, I mean.”

Cynthia and I spent another forty minutes talking. For a change, when our session ended, I didn’t have the urge to climb into bed and curl into a ball.

This afternoon, when I’d gotten back from lunch with my uncle, I’d made meatballs and sauce while I tiled the backsplash in the kitchen. The pot had been cooking all day, so I lowered the temperature to simmer. Not long after, Fox knocked. My heart rate picked up, which caused an internal war.

This is just sex, Josie. Don’t get excited to see the man.

Why can’t I be excited to see him? Maybe I’m excited about the prospect of having sex with him again and not about his company.

No, you’re not.

Yes, I am!

I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants and opened the screen door with a smile. “Hey. Come on in.”

Fox stepped inside. An awkward few seconds ticked by. We’d been making out for days, so it seemed odd not to kiss hello. Unnatural almost. His eyes immediately zoned in on my mouth, so I thought he might be feeling the same way, though neither of us made a move.

Fox cleared his throat and looked away. “You cooking? Smells good in here.”

“I am. I made meatballs and sauce. Are you hungry? I can make you a plate. Though I have to warn you, the meatballs are heart-healthy. Made with mostly turkey. Only a little beef for flavor. I’m not sure you’d approve. You seem like a real meat-and-potatoes guy—with the meat being the unhealthy kind.”

Fox’s lip twitched. “I like healthy foods.”

I thumbed behind me. “You want some?”

“No thanks. I ate already. I need to head to the rink. We had to shift practice to Monday this week because the rink is getting some work done on Wednesday, and I told one of the guys we’d run a few miles together beforehand. He wants some extra training.”

“Oh. Well, have fun.”

He nodded and took an envelope out of his back pocket. “I just stopped over to give you this.”

“What is it?”

“Your two-thousand dollars. The part Ray didn’t spend already, anyway.”

I took the envelope and peeked inside. “I don’t understand. Why do you have it? I gave it to my uncle for his medical bills.”

“There are no medical bills, Josie.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got wind that Ray was shooting his mouth off about a sure thing he was going to lay heavy cash on. Found him at the dog track before the betting window opened.”

“So he lied to me and was going to gamble the money?”

Fox put his hands on his hips. “I hate to break it to you, but your uncle is a piece of crap. He lies, cheats, and steals. I know you look for the good in everyone and want to think he’s changed. But he hasn’t. I understand if you want to get to know him, though I don’t think he’s worth your time. But please don’t give the asshole any more money. I might wind up in jail getting it back next time.”

I looked down at the ground, feeling like an idiot. “Okay.”

Fox put two fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so our eyes met. “That’s on him. Not on you. You feel me?”

“I really thought he’d changed. He was so sympathetic and believable.”

“That’s what makes him a good con man, sweetheart.”

“But you knew it…”

“That’s because I’m cynical as fuck. You’re optimistic and all things good.”

I sighed. “Thank you for getting it back.”

He nodded. “No problem. How you feeling? Did the Epsom salt help?”

“It did.”

“Good. I got a busy week. School job should’ve been done by now, but instead they’re still giving me pages of revisions to the plans. And we start a new job tomorrow, too.” He looked at his watch and nodded toward the door. “I gotta get to the rink. Probably won’t be around much this week. But if you need anything, call me.”

I was disappointed, yet forced a smile. “Okay. Thanks, Fox.”

He was halfway out the door when he turned around and walked back in. “Forgot something,” he said.

“What?”

He responded by hooking an arm around my waist and hauling me close. His lips crashed down on mine. “This.”

After he was done kissing the shit out of me, he pulled back, his eyes dark. “You got plans next weekend?”

I hadn’t yet found my voice, so I shook my head.

“Good. There’s a wine festival not too far out of town. Thought maybe we could spend the weekend. Maybe stay at a nearby B&B.”

“Oh.” I blinked. “Yeah. That sounds great.”

“Alright then. I’ll talk to you soon.”

And just like that, my sex-only stud walked out the door, as if it wasn’t a big deal that he’d just moved whatever was going on between us into new territory.

***

The following day, I drove to a flooring store a half hour away to get new carpet. I also found some tile that looked like wood flooring that I thought I might install downstairs. It wasn’t cheap, so I wanted to do my homework before I decided for sure. On the way home, I passed the Crow’s Nest bar. My uncle’s beat-up car was parked outside, so I decided to stop.

Inside was dark. The lights were on, but with dingy wood paneling and a worn brown bar, there wasn’t too much for them to bounce off of. There were only three people in the entire place, so it wasn’t difficult to find Uncle Ray. He was sitting at the far end, staring down into a glass of amber liquid. He didn’t look up until I was next to him. Then he frowned.

“I don’t want no more trouble,” he said. “That Cassidy threatened my life.”

I took that statement with a grain of salt and sat down on the stool next to him. “Why did you lie to me?”

“Would you have given me the money if I’d told you what it was for?”

I shook my head.

He shrugged and lifted his glass to his lips. “Well, there’s your answer.”

I sighed. “You know there are gambling-addiction groups and counselors if you have a problem.”

“Only problem I got is you at the moment. You sitting here looking down your nose at me.”

The bartender walked over and placed a napkin in front of me. “What can I get you?”

I waved my hand. “Nothing for me. Thank you.”

Ray tossed back the rest of whatever was in his glass and held it up. “I’ll take another.”

“You gotta pay up front, Ray. You know that. Cash before I pour.”

It sounded like Fox wasn’t the only one who had my uncle’s number.

“I gave you my last damn ten dollars already. Just spot me one.”

The bartender shook his head and pointed to the register. “There’s a list of people we can’t extend credit to or take checks from. The owner wrote your name in red and underlined it twice. Sorry.”

I knew I shouldn’t do it, but I thought he might be more amenable to talking if I covered his drink. I pulled out a twenty and placed it on top of the bar.

“I’ll pay for his.”

Ray smiled at the bartender. “My order was a double then.”

The bartender shook his head and looked to me, asking if it was okay. I nodded.

We sat side by side in silence until there was a half-full glass of amber liquid in front of my uncle again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“As long as you’re buying…”

“Why did my mother tell me you were dead?”

Ray scoffed. “Figures.”

“Did you two have a fight or something?”

He took a big swig of his drink and set it down with a clank. “Your mother was always too hurdy-turdy for me. Too hurdy-turdy for everyone and everywhere, including this town.”

“What was your mom like?”

“Boy, she didn’t tell you about your grandmother either?”

“Not too much.”

“If you ask most, they’ll tell you she was a nice woman. She kept to herself, not a lot of friends and such. Rose Langone was all about appearances. So the curtains were drawn while Ma drank her four martinis a day. And from what I understand, your mother’s pop was kind enough to only have one girlfriend at a time. Eventually he took off with one who didn’t have two mouths to feed. And my father moved in a month later. He liked to beat on us, and your grandmother pretended it didn’t happen.” He shrugged. “Just your normal, run-of-the-mill happy family.”

I guess I knew why my mother was the way she was. She cared what people thought and had a general disdain for men. Her not wanting to visit Laurel Lake made more sense now, too. Maybe it was better that I grew up not knowing much.

“Any other questions?” my uncle asked.

I shook my head.

“Good. Tell that boyfriend of yours he owes me a new hat.”

I stood. “Fox isn’t my boyfriend.”

Ray picked up his glass once again. “That’s good. Wouldn’t want my only niece to turn out like that man’s last girlfriend.”