Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Josie

“Ugh.” I held my hand up to block the sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window as I padded toward the coffeemaker and pushed start. “I’m never drinking again.”

How many did I have?

Let’s see… There was one while I was making dinner.

A second while I was eating dinner with Fox.

A third…

Shit. My brain backed up to Fox! I closed my eyes as the memories from last night flooded in. Why oh why did I have that third glass of wine? What had come out of my mouth was exactly the reason I always stopped at two.

Not only had I called Fox out for watching me over the security camera, I’d demanded to know what he was doing while he watched. I rubbed my temples with my eyes closed. Now I knew how Fox felt about his high-school girlfriend Quinn’s mother. I was mortified. Packing up and leaving Laurel Lake today might be my only viable option.

The Keurig made a gargling sound, indicating it was done brewing. I gulped coffee from my mug like an addict mainlining heroin. Once I’d downed my fix, I went to the kitchen faucet and splashed water on my face. Then I made a second cup. While I impatiently waited for the drip to start, I looked out the front window—or more accurately, I looked to the right, to Fox’s house. I’d slept pretty late, so I was surprised that his truck was still in the driveway. Leaning over to see more, I noticed the hood was up. And Fox was outside.

He walked around from the driver’s side, looking at the engine while shoving a hand into his hair. The situation didn’t look very promising. The last thing I wanted to do was see him after last night—or go out in the annoying sunshine, for that matter—but Fox had helped me so much. I really had no choice but to go over and see if I could return the favor. So I threw on shorts and a T-shirt and walked across the lawn with my mug in hand.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

Fox shook his head. “Truck won’t start. I think it’s the alternator.”

His eyes dropped to my chest. I hadn’t bothered with a bra, and my nipples were saluting their freedom.

Fox diverted his eyes back to the engine and cleared his throat. “I tried to jump it. Didn’t turn at all.”

“Do you need to get to work? You can take my car. Or I can drop you off, if you want.”

“I texted Porter and told him I was going to be late. He said he’d come get me if I needed him to, but I have a meeting down at the building department in twenty minutes, and he’s at least that far away on a jobsite.”

“So take my car. Or I’ll drive you.”

“You sure you don’t mind? I can get Porter to pick me up from the building department. But I could use a ride there. Ubers around here aren’t too quick.”

“Just give me two minutes to get my keys and put on some shoes.”

He lowered the hood. “Thanks.”

As we drove through town, Fox told me where to turn, but not much was said other than that. Once we got on the highway, though, it was just dead air. I got the urge to turn on the radio to fill the space. But instead, I decided to pull on my big-girl panties and own up to my big mouth last night.

“So…” I said. “About last night.”

Fox’s eyes slanted over. “I’m quiet because I’m thinking about all the shit I have to do today. Don’t read into it. Last night was last night. Today is today.”

I sighed. “Hello? Helpless overthinker here, remember? I can’t stop myself.”

“You’re supposed to be working on that. Why don’t you start now?”

“Well, my therapist said one of the things I should do is trust my instincts. So that’s what I’m doing. My gut tells me we need to clear the air. I don’t want it to be weird between us. You’re like my best friend in town.”

Fox’s brows shot up. “I’m your best friend?”

“I take it from that response that I’m not yours?”

He chuckled. “We’re good, Josie. I promise.”

“I’m going to apologize anyway. If the shoe was on the other foot, and it was you who’d had a little too much to drink and pushed me to talk about sexual stuff, no one would find that okay. So it’s not acceptable that I made unwelcome remarks.”

“Fine. Apology accepted.”

“Thank you. I’d make you my dad’s cheesecake, but I left my recipe book at home.”

“Cheesecake?”

“My dad made his own from scratch. For him, fresh cheesecake was the answer to any problem—if anyone ever got mad at him, he’d whip one up and bring it to them with an apology.”

Fox smiled and pointed up ahead. “Make a right at the next corner.”

The remaining few minutes of the drive was a series of turns, and then we reached the building department. I pulled to the curb and put the car in park.

“I’m around all day,” I said. “If you need a ride, just give me a call.”

“Thank you.” Fox opened the car door. He set one foot onto the concrete, but stopped and turned back. “Just for clarification, your remarks last night weren’t unwelcome. And my offer to tell you what I did when I got home while watching the security video playback still stands. Ball’s in your court, sweetheart. Have a good day.”

***

“Hello?” I answered the phone later that evening.

“Hey there, chickadee. It’s Opal.”

“Oh hi, Opal. How are you?”

“I’m good. Are you busy tonight?”

I looked down at my eight painted toenails. “No, not really.”

“Could I bug you for a favor then?”

“Of course. What’s up?”

“I’m supposed to pick up Fox tonight, but I’m stuck babysitting later than expected. My daughter is a nurse, and I watch her kids on Wednesday nights. She usually gets home at eight, but someone called in sick, and she can’t leave until they find a replacement for her. I tried to call Porter, but he’s not picking up, and Fox mentioned you’d given him a lift this morning.”

Even though I’d obsessed over Fox all day, after what he’d said when he got out of the car this morning, he was the last person I wanted to see. Yet I couldn’t say no to Opal any more than I could’ve ignored Fox’s need for help this morning. They’d both been so generous. “Sure. No problem. Now?”

“Not until ten. Hope that’s not too late?”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t realize he worked that late.”

“Oh, he’s not at work. He’s at the rink. He coaches a team on Wednesday nights. It’s about a twenty-minute drive—hope that’s okay. We had a rink in Laurel Lake, but the owner of the building sold the property to a developer last year. His practice is in Hollow Hills.”

“Okay, no problem. Do you have the address? If not, I can look it up.”

“I’ll shoot it to your phone after we hang up.”

“Great, thanks.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Josie. I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Have a good night, Opal.”

After I hung up, I finished painting my last two toes. Twisting the cap back onto the bottle, I had a heart-to-heart with Daisy, who was sitting comfortably next to me in a pink dog bed I’d picked up for her this afternoon.

“You’ve lived here longer. What do you think of our grumpy neighbor, Paul Bunyan?”

The duck tilted her head. It seemed like she wanted to hear more.

“I know. I know. He’s grumpy and curt—not to mention arrogant, cynical, impossible to read, and judgy. Plus, he might have as much baggage as me. The one time his fiancée even came up, it was clear he had a lot to unpack.” I sighed and stroked Daisy’s head. “Yet there’s something else there, too…something buried deep beneath the surface that he tries to hide, but it slips out every so often. People can never hide who they really are for long, not when it’s part of the very core of their being. Fox is protective and thoughtful, honest and moral, with a real concern for the well-being of others.”

Daisy stood and flapped her wings.

I nodded. “Oh yeah, there’s that, too. He’s pretty hot.”

I’d never been particularly attracted to extra-large, burly-type men. Most of the guys I’d dated—not that there had been so many—had all looked the same: five ten, maybe five eleven, clean cut, nice lean build. Fox was a giant oak tree, with Atlas-like burden bearers for shoulders, and more testosterone in his pinky than any suit-wearing man living in Manhattan. Heck, the guy left the house clean shaven and sported a five o’clock shadow by midday.

Daisy had apparently decided she was done with our conversation. She jumped off her dog bed, wobbled to the kitchen, and pecked at the front door. I shook my head and opened it for her. She waddled toward the garage. “I’m even boring a duck with my overanalyzing.”

After Daisy was safely tucked away for the night, I told myself I wasn’t going to fix my hair or do anything special before going to pick up Fox. Yet I found myself with a mascara wand in front of the mirror anyway. Opal had said the rink was twenty minutes away, but I left almost forty minutes early, just in case there was traffic. The road was pretty empty, though, and I wound up pulling into the parking lot at nine forty. I parked right in front of the building so I could see the front door and turned on the radio, intending to sit and wait. But ten minutes later, all the water I’d consumed today to rehydrate and get rid of my hangover was suddenly pressing on my bladder.

I still had a little time until Fox finished up, plus the drive home would take another twenty minutes. So I needed to find a bathroom. There had to be one in the arena, so I went inside and looked around for a ladies’ room. On my way out, I spotted people skating on the ice. It was easy to find Fox since he was so much larger than the others. He glided across the rink as if balancing on a thin metal blade was as easy as walking. When he got to the sideboard, he made a sharp turn and dug his skates in to stop. A heavy spray of shaved ice flew up and walloped the plastic barrier.

I didn’t know much about hockey, but I was suddenly a giant fan. I walked closer to the rink for a better look. If I thought watching Fox skate did something to me, that was nothing compared to what happened when I got a look at the team he was coaching. I’d completely forgotten that Opal had told me he coached a team for players with special needs until I saw the faces of two men suited up in hockey equipment who were standing along the sidelines talking—both had Down syndrome. My heart squeezed. I was torn between wanting to hug the coach and jump him for how sexy he looked out there.

Everyone in the rink continued to go about their business, as if Fox Cassidy hadn’t just skated into a phone booth and come out a superhero. But I couldn’t take my eyes off the man. I watched in fascination as Fox stood in front of the net, and one by one, his team members skated to center ice and took shots. He yelled at one player to move his hands away from his body—something about giving his bottom hand more force. Another he instructed to dig his blade into the ice. I had no idea what any of it meant, but Fox grew sexier by the minute. At one point, he looked to the right side of the rink where I stood. His head had turned halfway back before he did a double take. He said something I couldn’t hear to the next player in line to shoot the puck, and then skated over to the waist-high door nearest me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Opal called and asked if I could pick you up. Her daughter had to work late at the hospital.”

“Shit. Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll wrap it up.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I’m not in a rush. Take your time. I only came in because I needed to use the bathroom.”

“You sure?”

Up close, his green eyes were so much greener when contrasting with his red cheeks. “Yeah. I’m kind of enjoying watching.”

I thought I might’ve caught a smirk, but couldn’t be sure through the helmet. And of course, Fox being Fox, he skated off without another word. Though I didn’t mind the abrupt departure this time, since the view from the back was equally as good as the front.

I took a seat on a nearby bench and watched my grumpy neighbor do his thing. He seemed like a good instructor; or at least there was a lot of head nodding from the players when he spoke. And I especially loved that he didn’t appear to treat the team members any different than anyone else. He laid into them when they did something he didn’t like and joked around in the typical way men busted chops. At the end of practice, Fox took off his helmet and gloves, and one by one the players slapped his hand as they exited the ice.

“I just need to grab my bag,” he yelled over to me.

“Take your time.”

With the rink now empty, and no Fox to heat up my blood, I realized how cold it was. I had on shorts and a T-shirt, and the air in here was cold enough to keep ice from melting. I was rubbing my arms when Fox returned.

“One of the parents wants to talk to me,” he said. “Sorry. I’ll only be a few minutes more.”

“No problem.”

He pulled a jacket out of his bag and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Be back.”

“Okay.”

Fox’s jacket was heavy—the kind of weight you probably need when you spend hours in an ice arena. But that wasn’t what warmed me. It was the smell. I couldn’t help myself. I raised one shoulder to bring it closer to my nose for a sniff.

Mmmm…

Musky, with a hint of leather. Masculine, just like everything about the owner. It made me wonder if the scent was even a cologne. I smiled to myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if Fox’s pheromones alone smelled this good.

Of course, that was the moment Fox walked back. His eyes narrowed. “What are you grinning about?”

“Nothing.” I hopped up from the bench. “You ready?”

“Yep.”

On the drive here, I’d been worried the trip home would be even more awkward than the car ride with Fox this morning. But my experience in the arena had changed the vibe. I’d barely buckled in and started the car before my questions started.

“How long have you been coaching the team?”

“I guess about three years.”

“You skate really well.” My eyes were on the road as I pulled from the parking spot, but I heard the smirk in Fox’s voice.

“That’s sort of a prerequisite when you play professional hockey.”

“You’re allowed to skate with your bad knee? You said you blew it out and it ended your career.”

“It holds well enough to skate around for coaching. But I can’t play at the intensity level the league requires.”

I nodded. “It must’ve been hard to have your career end so early.”

Fox was quiet for a minute. “It was a rough time, yeah.”

“Seems to have turned out well, though. Opal said you run a few jobs at a time these days.”

“I got lucky. Some guys don’t know anything but hockey.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “I get it. I’ve given a lot of thought to changing careers myself. But I have no idea what I would do. All I’ve ever wanted to do was work in research.”

“Why would you change your career? Didn’t you go to school for most of your life to get where you landed?”

“I did. But...”

Fox looked over at me. “Sometimes you don’t get over what happens, Josie. You have to figure out how to walk around it instead. Otherwise you’re stuck in the same place forever.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“Is that what you’re really doing down here? Hiding from what happened?”

I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe…”

Fox looked out the window. “You can only run for so long. Eventually whatever’s eatin’ you catches up.”

I forced a smile. “Yeah. Plus, I can’t run to save my life. We used to have relay races in elementary school during gym class. I was always the last one picked.”

Fox chuckled. He was quiet for a while, but this time it didn’t feel weird or awkward.

“Thanks again for picking me up,” he eventually said.

“Anytime.”

“Probably be the last time. Two of the guys asked me if you were single on my way out.”

“The players?”

He nodded with a laugh. “They’re definitely the most cocky, confident bunch I’ve ever coached.”

I smiled. “Their coach must be rubbing off on them.”

Back on Rosewood Lane, I turned into my driveway. Whatever lack of awkwardness I’d appreciated on the trip home quickly disappeared when I turned off the engine. Neither of us got out right away. We sat in the dark, me looking straight ahead and Fox looking—I wouldn’t know because I didn’t dare glance over.

When I couldn’t take the silence a second longer and thought I might burst, I turned and said, “Fox,” at the same moment he turned and said, “Josie.”

He lifted his chin. “You first.”

I shook my head. “No, you. I didn’t have anything important to say.”

Fox nodded, yet he took a moment to look out the window before speaking again. “The last woman I went out with, I took out to dinner twice. I stayed at her place the second time, and I had to take her to Starbucks for coffee the next morning because I couldn’t remember her name.”

I scratched my head. “And you’re telling me this because…”

“Another time, I was early to meet a date at a bar. Saw an ex-teammate and we got to talking. He asked me if I wanted to grab a bite at the restaurant next door. I said sure. It wasn’t until I passed the woman I was there to meet that I remembered I was there to meet her.”

“Are you trying to tell me you’re forgetful?”

“No, Josie. I’m trying to tell you I’m a shit boyfriend. My ideal date is fuck first, eat some pasta, then go home and sleep in my own bed. I’m selfish, and I like my life the way I like my life. Simple. You are anything but simple.”

I was still so confused about where the conversation was going. “Okay…”

“You also live in Manhattan. A place that is pretty much hell in my book. I’m not a people person. I like the quiet life.”

I shook my head. “Fox, why are you telling me all this?”

“Because I want you to know what you’re in for.”

“I’m lost…”

He motioned between us. “You and me. There’s something here.”

My eyes widened. He wasn’t wrong. Something had been brewing from the start. I just thought I was the only one who felt it. “You…have feelings for me?”

Fox smiled. “If having feelings includes me wanting to feel you up, then yeah.”

“Oh my God.” I laughed. “You just told me you might forget my name after I sleep with you, admitted you were selfish, probably wouldn’t hang around for snuggling after sex, called me complicated, and told me you want to feel me up. Is this your way of asking me out?”

“Will you sleep with me without going to dinner first?”

I shook my head. “Probably not.”

“Then I guess I’m asking you out.”

“Is this the approach you use on all the women you date? Because if it is, I have to wonder why anyone would go out with you.”

“You already had one douchebag let you down. I’m not going to make any promises I can’t keep, Josie.”

As crazy as it was, there was something endearing about his concern. I nodded. “Thank you for your honesty.”

He searched my face, quiet for a few heartbeats. “So Friday night then?”

The anxiety in the pit of my belly morphed to a flutter. “How about if I make you dinner? You said you don’t like to cook, and all I ever see you eat is takeout. You probably haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a while.”

Fox shook his head. “Not a good idea.”

“Why? I’m a good cook.”

“Got nothing to do with your cooking. Don’t think I can be trusted with you alone anymore. Not unless you’re up for eating spaghetti naked in bed after.”

Naked spaghetti sounds pretty amazing at the moment.

Fox groaned. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Thinking you can handle it my way. You’ll drive yourself nuts overthinking whether it was a mistake when it’s over. So let’s do it your way. Plus, you deserve better.”

My heart melted a little more. I smiled. “Okay.”

“Be ready at seven on Friday.”

“Alright.”

Fox held out his hand. For a second, I thought we were going to shake on the deal. But when I put my hand in his, he yanked me to him. “Now come here and kiss me already.”

The gruff sound of his voice shot those butterflies much lower than they’d been fluttering. Once I was close enough, Fox gripped my elbow and used it to lift me up and over the center console. He settled me on his lap, straddling his hips, and squeezed my neck to bring my lips to meet his.

I was momentarily thrown by how soft his lips were. They contrasted with the roughness of his hold and the hardness of his chest. It was a combination that set my body on fire. Fox’s tongue dipped inside, and he used the hand at my neck to tilt my head and deepen the connection.

Oh God.

I could get lost in this man’s kiss. It was just on the right side of aggressive, just like the man himself. His big hand wrapped around my back and pulled me flush against him. When he groaned through our joined mouths, I felt it travel from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I was quickly running out of breath, but I didn’t care. There was no way I was stopping to take a breath. I’d sooner die of lack of oxygen.

Fox’s hand at my neck tangled into my hair, fisting a clump into a tight ball. He yanked to pull my head back, exposing my neck, and then drifted down to suck along my pulse line.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head when I felt a steely erection straining through his jeans. Everything between my legs swelled, and I couldn’t help myself; I started to move back and forth.

“Fuck, Josie,” Fox mumbled. “You better slow down or you’re going to be eating spaghetti in ten minutes.”

I smiled. It felt euphoric—enough to make my brain turn off and forget analyzing the million reasons this would likely end in a disaster. After a few more minutes of groping and grinding, it was Fox who pulled back. He gently nudged my body from his.

“Gotta stop now, sweetheart. Or I’m going to turn into a sixteen-year-old boy and embarrass myself.”

I pouted, and Fox leaned in and took my protruding bottom lip between his teeth and gave it a firm tug. “Friday,” he murmured.

I sighed. “You suck.”

He chuckled and cupped my cheek. “I’ll watch you walk in from here. I need a minute.”