Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Carlotta

M y whole body was shaking. I felt as though I was sitting behind a curtain of water. I could see and hear everything that was going on around me, but it was like it was separate from me, as though I wasn’t really there. All I could focus on at first was William’s body. I knew he was dead. I could see the mess of blood and other things I didn’t even want to focus on behind him. It was on the floor, on the wall. His life bursting from his head to leave a lasting stain on the physical world.

I felt as though I stared at William’s lifeless body forever, but at the same time, it felt like only a fleeting glance before I turned away and threw up beside myself. Somehow, throwing up brought me back to myself a little. I was still shaky. I knew just how close I had come to dying in that moment, and I knew William was gone, although in the moment, it didn’t feel real. He was lying dead beside me on the ground, and I knew that, but at the same time, I was still waiting for him to step in through the hole where our front door should be and demand to know what the hell had happened here.

I forced my eyes away from William and focused on Detective Del Rey and Morrie Xavier. The detective had Morrie in cuffs, and he was reading him his Miranda rights. Morrie seemed a little dazed too, perhaps even more dazed than I was. But he didn’t look afraid. He looked almost like he was finally at peace with himself, like he had avenged Candy and he no longer cared what happened to him. That was probably how he did feel. Avenging Candy had given him a purpose, and now it was done, he was just Morrie Xavier again.

I wondered briefly what would happen to him. By rights, he should do life without parole. He had killed in cold blood. But if he got a halfway decent attorney, they would claim he was mentally impaired, that grief had sent him over the edge. He would likely end up in a secure hospital somewhere. I don’t suppose it really mattered one way or the other. Wherever he ended up, it wasn’t going to bring William back.

Detective Del Rey pulled a pair of latex gloves from a pocket and snapped them on. He pulled a clear plastic baggie from another pocket, an evidence bag, I realized, and he moved over to Morrie’s gun, which he picked up and dropped into the baggie. He sealed it and kept hold of it. He approached me.

“Carlotta? Are you all right?”

“I ... I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

Through all of my shock, I had heard sirens getting closer, and now, I could see the flashes of blue through the curtains and I realized more police officers where here. Four of them burst through the missing door and into the lounge. They stopped short when they saw the scene before them.

“Get CSI here,” Detective Del Rey said, slipping immediately into the role of someone who knew how to take charge of a situation.

In that moment, I was grateful he was here. His rattling orders gave me something to focus on other than what had just happened and was trying to replay itself in my head.

“Call off the rest of the backup. Call the coroner’ s office and get Dr. Karloff out here. One of you, stay with Mrs. Alden until the coroner arrives.”

He thrust the baggie out to one of them.

“Get this over to the lab and get it fingerprinted now. Have them run a full analysis on it too,” he ordered.

The officer took the baggie and left. Two of the others ran out behind him, presumably to follow the rest of his orders. The fourth officer approached me.

“Mrs. Alden? I’m Officer Riley,” he said. He reached down a hand to me. “Let’s get you up onto this chair, here, if you feel up to it.”

I took his hand. It was warm against my ice-cold skin. I allowed him to pull me to my feet. My legs held me, not as shaky as I had expected them to be, but I was still glad when Officer Riley deposited me in the armchair beside me. It was soft and warm after the cold, hard ground. Detective Del Rey approached me again once I was seated.

“Carlotta, do you want to go to the emergency room and get checked over?” he asked gently.

“No, thank you, Detective,” I replied. “I think I’m going to have a big bruise on my hip tomorrow, but otherwise, I’m okay. ”

“I think you might be in shock,” the detective said.

I shook my head. “I was shocked. I still am. But I’m not in medical shock. Thank you for your concern, Detective, but the thought of going to the emergency room right now is ... too much.”

“Do you have someone who can stay with you?” he asked.

“Yes. I’ll call my friend when all of this is sorted,” I lied.

I didn’t want to lie to the detective, not now, but I knew he would insist that I couldn’t be left alone right now and being alone was exactly what I needed to get my head around all of this.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Officer Riley will stay with you until the coroner arrives, and the crime scene officers will be here any minute. They’ll take some photographs and fingerprints and whatnot, but they won’t bother you. We will, of course, need your official statement about what happened here, but it’s a shut and dry case, Carlotta, and I would be very surprised if you’re called to give evidence. The statement needs to be taken within forty-eight hours, though.”

He said the last part apologetically, and I wondered for a moment if he had ever really believed it wasn’t me who’d killed Candy. If his apologetic tone was about more than just disturbing me while I should be left alone to grieve for my husband. It didn’t matter now. None of it did. I just nodded.

“Of course, Detective,” I said. “I’ll stop by the precinct tomorrow.”

Detective Del Rey turned to Officer Riley. “I’m going to take the suspect in,” he said.

He moved to Morrie’s side and pulled him to his feet. Morrie didn’t look quite so dazed anymore. In fact, he looked positively proud of himself, and I knew Detective Del Rey was right. I wouldn’t need to give evidence because Morrie Xavier was going to confess to this. He was going to take great pleasure in telling Detective Del Rey, and likely anyone else who would listen, just how he had gotten revenge for his daughter’s death.

As Detective Del Rey began marching Morrie across the room, a thought struck me. Morrie hadn’t really been trying to kill William. He had been trying to kill me, even after he had heard that it was William who had killed Candy. Even after William had laid it on so thickly even I felt sick to my stomach listening to him. I had to know why.

“Wait,” I said, getting to my feet .

Officer Riley glanced at Detective Del Rey, who gave a barely perceptible nod. Officer Riley moved out of my way. I stood before Morrie, meeting his eyes, looking braver than I felt in that moment.

“Why did you try to shoot me when you knew it was William who killed your daughter?” I asked, my voice both calm and demanding.

Morrie smiled. He actually fucking smiled. It was a cold smile, one that made me feel my insides shriveling up. Morrie had killed through grief and through some misguided notion that this would help him to move on from losing Candy, but in that moment, I saw the truth. He had enjoyed killing. He had enjoyed pulling the trigger and ending a life.

“Because I wanted William to suffer. I wanted him to experience loss like I had,” Morrie said.

I don’t know what came over me in that moment. It was like a red blanket of anger. I reached up and slapped Morrie’s face. The sound of the slap seemed to echo around the room as Morrie’s head flew to the side. He brought it back to the center, looking at me with that cold smile still on his face. A bright red handprint stood out against his pale skin.

“Go to hell,” I snapped, and then I turned around and walked calmly back to the armchair like nothing had happened.

Detective Del Rey seemed to follow my lead, going back to leading Morrie out of my house, out of my life, as though I hadn’t just assaulted him. I was pretty sure nothing would come of it.

The crime scene officers arrived shortly after Detective Del Rey had left. Officer Riley tried to distract me from what they were doing, but I needed to see. I needed to know they got every little scrap of evidence, just in case. Because I was fairly sure that if Morrie somehow wriggled his way out of this, he would be coming for me next.

The coroner arrived as they left. He introduced himself to me as Dr. Karloff and he told me how sorry he was for my loss. It was a phrase I never really understood. Why was Dr. Karloff sorry? It wasn’t his fault, and he didn’t know me enough to care about me one way or the other. I got it, though. It was the accepted phrase for the situation, one used the world over, one I had said myself on several occasions when faced with someone who had lost someone. I smiled politely and thanked him.

I saw the look passing between Dr. Karloff and Officer Riley, and I knew no matter how much I protested, Officer Riley was going to remove me from the room so I didn’t have to see Dr. Karloff and his assistant, who was hanging around in the doorway like a shy child at a birthday party, lifting my husband’s body onto the gurney they hadn’t brought in yet. They didn’t want me to see that. They didn’t want me to hear the sucking sound as they peeled William’s ruined head from the ground.

I realized I didn’t want to see or hear that either, and I was suddenly glad Officer Riley was here.

“Mrs. Alden? Why don’t we go on through to the kitchen and I’ll make us both some tea?” Officer Riley said gently.

I nodded and got to my feet. Officer Riley put his hand on my elbow. It wasn’t necessary. I wasn’t about to flake out, but it felt nice, comforting, and I allowed him to leave it there as he led me from the room.

True to his word, Officer Riley made us both a cup of hot, sweet tea. I began to sip it when he placed it down in front of me, and the sugar in it seemed to revive me a little more. I felt more like myself again. Up until that point, I had felt more like an observer than an active part of this, like I was watching myself going through the motions, but now I was back inside myself, back in control of myself.

Officer Riley talked a little about what would happen next, about the autopsy and the funeral arrangements. Finally, when I thought I couldn’t listen to this any longer, he began to talk about things that didn’t involve William.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, the coroner came into the kitchen and informed me that William was gone, and they would be taking their leave. I said all the right things, but by that point, I just wanted them all to go. Finally, there were just me and Officer Riley left.

“My friend will be here shortly,” I said. “I called her earlier when I went to the bathroom.”

I wasn’t sure if he fully believed me or if he was just glad to be able to finally leave, but he nodded and stood up.

“If you need anything or you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call either myself or Detective Del Rey,” Officer Riley said as I walked him to the broken-down door.

“Actually, I do have a question, Officer,” I said.

He paused and turned to face me.

“The door. And the ... the mess in the lounge. Can I fix those things, or do I have to wait?” I asked.

“You can fix the door, Mrs. Alden, but if you can avoid the lounge for the rest of the day, I’ll send a cleanup team out here first thing in the morning to sort the rest out for you.”

“Okay, thank you, Officer,” I said.

I didn’t much relish the thought of spending the night here with William’s blood and brains all over the lounge, but what other choice did I have? The last thing I wanted was more people traipsing in and out now.

Officer Riley finally left, and I went back to the kitchen. I sat down for a moment, my head in my hands. Slowly, the realization that all of this, the house, the money, everything, was now solely mine, began to really hit me.

I stood up and walked into my studio. I would be able to paint here now without any criticism. I would be able to sleep in as late as I liked, sit up as late as I liked, eat whenever I was hungry rather than whenever William was due in from the office. And I could do it all without anyone getting on my case.

No longer did I have to play the role of the good wife. No longer did I have to walk around with my head down, knowing that William’s friends and colleagues were laughing at me because he was fucking some slutty intern. No longer did I have to stomach their whispering, their pity.

William’s death had set me free in more ways than one. Yet still, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness because in his final moments, William had saved my life once more. He may have spent the last few years slowly killing my love for him, but in the end, I guess he still loved me more than I knew. Maybe more than even he knew.