Chapter 16

"Ugh, this is going to be the death of me!"

Liam looked up from where he was doing some plumbing work at the sound of Claire's groan, smiling when he saw her slumped face-first over a pile of paperwork that was spread out on the table in front of her.

"How you doing over there?" he called out to her.

"Terrible," she said, although the lightness of her voice said he shouldn't really worry. "Why is all paperwork so confusing? Do they make it like this on purpose? Why does every form reference five other forms? I'm slogging through red tape over here. Send help. SOS." She waved her pen above her head like a flag, even as she kept her forehead pressed to the table.

He laughed. "Hey, don't look at me. There's a reason I became a firefighter. It's simple and straightforward. See fire? Put out fire. Boom. No forms involved."

That made her lift her head, her eyes narrowed in a skeptical expression. She was even cute while making such a comedic face, he noticed.

"Uh huh." Her tone dripped with doubt. "So all that stuff about burn patterns and knowing about structures and how to get air in and out to help you… that's all just for TV?"

"Totally," he fibbed, impressed that she even knew about those concepts. Most people didn't know all the work that went into firefighting. "It's basically like blowing out a birthday candle." He paused. "A really really big birthday candle."

"I knew it," she teased. "I knew that whole heroic, saving kittens, muscle thing was an act."

"You got me," he said, even as he internally flushed at her praise. Did she think he was heroic? And did she like his muscles? He had to fight the temptation to look down at himself, like when someone complimented your shirt and you had to check to see which one you wore.

She laughed and returned to her paperwork, and he smiled to himself.

Their first date was tonight… and not a moment too soon. He hadn't been this eager for a first date in… well, ever, actually. Working with her this week had been amazing, but it had also been torture. He wanted to move to the romantic part of their relationship. Keeping himself focused on his work had been extremely difficult, even with the knowledge that losing focus during construction work was dangerous. He was glad he wasn't working with anything sharp this week.

They worked together companionably for a little bit longer, the only sounds in the shop the scratching of Claire's pen against her seemingly endless paperwork and the occasional clang of Liam's wrench against the pipe he was fitting to her utility sink. They finished their work around the same time and as they got ready to depart, he found himself cutting her quick little glances and feeling almost shy when he caught her sneaking looks of her own.

He vowed to never tell Mills about this foray into bashfulness… or Dominic. They'd never let him hear the end of it.

Despite this sudden attack of nerves, he couldn't help himself from helping her into her coat as they prepared to leave, enjoying the quick waft of a faintly floral smell as she pulled her long hair free from her collar.

"See you soon?" he asked when they both stood on the sidewalk in front of the shop.

Her smile was so pretty it made his stomach flip a little. "Yeah, I can't wait," she said.

He couldn't wait either.

Fortunately, with only a few hours before their date, he didn't have much time for waiting around, in any case. If he wanted to get everything done in time, he needed to hustle back to the BB.

Back in his room, he took a quick shower, then shaved with more care than he usually employed. Most days, Liam shaved just in the morning, but he wanted his face to be smooth tonight… just in case.

It wasn't that he was expecting a kiss. But he would be lying if he said he wasn't hoping for one.

The idea was both exciting and a little nerve-wracking as he dressed in a nice sweater and pair of slacks he'd purchased in Blueberry Bay the other day, after he'd decided that none of the things he'd packed when he'd come to Whale Harbor were truly date-worthy. He wasn't typically a guy who thought much about his appearance, given that he mostly wore workout clothes or his firefighting uniform, but he wanted to show Claire that this date meant a lot to him.

When he was ready and a glance at his watch told him that it wasn't too early to start heading toward Claire's house, he headed downstairs. Monica was, as was her habit, in the front rooms of the BB.

"So tonight's the big date, huh?" she asked.

He paused, surprised for a moment before shaking his head at himself. It made sense that Monica knew about his date. Not only was she friends with Claire, but this was Whale Harbor. He was starting to realize that this meant that everybody knew just about everything about everyone.

The part that surprised him, however, was that he kind of liked it.

"It is," he said, spreading his arms to show her his outfit. "How do I look? Think she'll turn me away at the door."

She gave him a playful wink. "Based on what I've heard, you don't have to rely on good clothes to make her like you, but… yes, you look very nice."

"Thank you." He paused. "Wait, what did you hear?"

She mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. "Can't say. That would break girl code. But let's just say… you don't need to be too nervous."

This made Liam feel better, but only a little. Maybe nerves are a good thing, he told himself as he walked toward his car. Maybe they're a sign that something good is coming and I'm paying attention.

He hoped so. All he knew was that this was a big night.

He was still running a few minutes early, so he stopped in at Magnolia Street Home Goods. They didn't have a huge selection of cut flowers, he noticed, which was good for Claire's business, if not so good for his current situation. In the end, he got her a small bouquet of hyacinths, per the recommendation of the kind proprietress with a heavy Southern accent.

"Are those for Claire Boone?" she asked. "She's just the sweetest girl. I heard about her shop opening up. You tell her I'm not offering any more cut flowers once she opens. We small businesses have to stick together."

Liam promised he would relay the message, chuckling to himself as he left the store. He'd been surprised that Monica had known his business, and now people whose names he didn't even know knew it too.

Small town life, huh?he thought with an amused shake of his head.

The stop at the store had been good for soothing his nerves as well as killing a little bit of time, but by the time he pulled up in front of Claire's house, they were back in full force. He took a deep breath as he walked up her front walkway, holding the flowers in front of him as he reached out and knocked on the door. Then he waited, not feeling particularly patient, for her to open the door.

When she did, his mouth went dry, and his heart stopped for a moment… and despite that, it was a perfect moment, where everything was right in the world.

Liam was standing on her porch, holding a bouquet of flowers… and kind of gaping at her, honestly.

"Um, hi," Claire said, feeling a little shy.

He shook his head and ran a hand over his face, looking as though he was coming out of a dream. "Wow, Claire," he said. "Sorry, I just… you look amazing. Like really, really amazing."

She bit her lip, fighting a blush. She had cleaned herself up pretty nicely, if she did say so herself. She was wearing one of her favorite dresses, a slightly asymmetrical dress with a high neckline that came to a bit of a point over her left shoulder. It gathered at the waist across from the shoulder, giving a twist to the whole of the bodice, before descending into a simple skirt that hit a few inches above her knee. The effect was modest but not at all dowdy, especially because the royal blue of the dress was one of Claire's best colors. She'd left her hair down, the tresses fiery next to the vibrancy of the blue and had taken the time to gently curl the bottom few inches to give her hair volume. So as not to compete with the colors of her dress and hair, she'd applied a light touch of pink lipstick, only a half shade darker than her natural lip color, but had given extra attention to her eyes, lining them carefully until the green popped.

She felt colorful and beautiful and like the best version of herself.

Judging from the expression still on Liam's face, he agreed.

He looked incredible and, although they hadn't planned anything, coordinated with Claire perfectly. His sweater was in the same family of blue as Claire's dress, although the color far more muted. He'd paired it with slate gray slacks that made him look even taller than he was.

With his jacket open and his scarf hanging loose, he could have been on the cover of a magazine, she thought.

Then she realized that now she was staring.

"You look amazing too," she hurried to say, smiling a little at how flustered she'd gotten. Yes, he looked amazing and yes, this was a first date, but this was Liam! She knew that once she took a breath, they'd fall into conversation as easily as they always did.

Besides, maybe it wasn't so bad to be flustered, as long as they both felt that way.

He looked at her admiringly for another moment before extending his arm to her, a gesture that made Claire swoon a little inside.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Ready," she confirmed. She drew on her coat, locked her front door, and tucked her keys into her small black ‘going out' purse that never got enough use.

He helped her up into his car, a gentlemanly gesture which she appreciated, since she was wearing heels and his Jeep was high off the ground. Then he crossed around to climb into the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Well, I asked around, and everyone told me that the place to go for date nights around here was The Blue Crab. I took their advice… but I'm hoping that doesn't mean you've already been there a million times."

She smiled, touched that he'd done research for their date. "I haven't been there at all, actually! It's a relatively new restaurant, and I don't get out on date nights that much." She admitted this last part a little sheepishly, but Liam looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Will you make fun of me if I say I'm kind of glad you're not going out with other guys a lot?"

"I guess I can resist," she joked, even as she smiled to herself.

They chatted pleasantly during the short drive to The Blue Crab, and Claire was pleased to note that they did fall into their easy rapport once their first date nerves wore off. The restaurant had an enclosed area with a wall entirely made of glass, which looked out over the water. She admired the view as the host directed them to their seats, glad to note that a fire burned in a stone installation nearby, banishing any of the early spring chill that might have come through the glass.

They sat at their table and perused the menu, joking that there were too many good choices to land on just one. Claire was pleased to note how carefully the restaurant labeled its ingredients, including dishes that were always dairy free and ones that could be made dairy free. Those considerations had become more common in recent years, and they made her experiences dining out much smoother and less awkward, as she used to have to question the wait staff about multiple dishes until she found one that suited her diet.

They eventually ordered some mushroom bruschetta for their appetizer, which combined local mushrooms with the traditional tomato blend in a way that was both surprising and delicious. Claire, for her entrée, ordered the swordfish, which was served over baked eggplant with puttanesca sauce, while Liam opted for the house-made lobster ravioli, which was topped with pea shoots and a full lobster claw as a garnish.

"Only in Rhode Island do you see a lobster claw on top of your pasta," Liam joked when the waiter delivered their plates.

"You better not ever say that in Maine," she pointed out, "or you'll end up getting in a fight."

He put a hand up, signaling the point. "You're right. I apologize to all Mainers for overlooking their state's contribution."

It didn't take long for Claire to realize that this was the best date she'd ever been on. It wasn't even really much of a competition.

"This is really nice," she said as they ate their food at a leisurely pace. No matter how delicious it was, they both found themselves being drawn into conversational delights before culinary ones. "People always say first dates are supposed to be awkward, but I haven't felt that way at all!"

"I've only ever had one or two really bad first dates, and usually they weren't because there was anything wrong with my partner. We just weren't good fits," he said. "You?"

"I've avoided dating for a long time," she admitted. "I was always worried that I'd hit it off with someone and then they'd decide that they didn't want to deal with a partner who has lupus. Having a chronic illness is enough… I didn't want to also learn that I was undatable because of that illness. It made me overly cautious, I think, and I missed out on some opportunities."

Liam put down his fork and leaned in, eyes intense. "For what it's worth," he said, "anyone who thought that about you would be the one losing out. You're amazing, and having a chronic illness doesn't diminish that in the least."

She was definitely blushing. "Thank you. That… That means a lot." She cleared her throat. "Okay, enough about my tragic dating past. Tell me about you. Handsome firefighter, good with your hands, and you can cook. Tell me about how you're beating women off with a stick so I can be miserably jealous." She said the last part with a joking lilt so he would know she didn't mean it.

"Sorry to disappoint," he said, "but my dating history has been pretty tepid. I had one serious relationship, although maybe you would only call it medium serious, as we never got to the point of moving in together or talking about marriage or anything like that. Still, we were together for a few years, and it was a tough breakup."

"What happened? That is, if you feel comfortable sharing."

He waved off her concern. "Oh, yeah, it's not a sore subject or anything; it was so long ago now. Her name was Marie, and she just couldn't get over the fact that I'm a firefighter. I didn't even really blame her for it. Not everybody is cut out for the life of being partnered to a firefighter. We work weird hours and our job is dangerous."

Claire frowned. "That's nuts to me. You help people! How could she not admire that?"

He gave her a bashful, pleased smile. "It means a lot to me that you think that."

She wasn't done being indignant on his behalf. "That's because it's true!"

His smile burst into a full-on grin. "Okay, killer. Next time I'm in a job interview, remind me to ask you for a letter of reference."

"You got a deal. I write a mean letter."

When they finished up their dinner, they both agreed that they didn't feel ready for their date to be over quite yet. Although it was late, the moon was full and the skies were clear. So after a quick chat about the temperature, which was surprisingly balmy for a March night, they decided to head back to Whale Harbor and take a stroll on the beach.

It was a perfect evening for such a walk, and Claire held her heels in one hand and Liam's hand in the other. Where they were walking, just above the tideline, the damp sand was decidedly chilly, but Claire didn't mind one bit. Her good mood was impenetrable.

"You know what I've been meaning to ask?" Liam said, wrapping arm around her shoulders as they decided to sit down for a bit, settling on a patch of sand that was higher up the beach so their clothes stayed dry. "How's everything with the shop coming along?"

She chuckled. "I feel like you already know about all that. You work there all the time."

"Okay, that's true," he admitted. "But I guess I meant I wanted to know about the you side of things more than the plumbing and the construction and all that. How are you feeling? Getting excited?"

She scrunched her nose. "I mean yes, but…"

"But?"

"I'm feeling the teensiest, tiniest bit overwhelmed," she admitted, holding two fingers pinched close together to indicate the smallness of this amount. "I'm trying to decide if this is because I am just doubting myself too much or if I actually bit off more than I can chew."

He nodded thoughtfully. "And the problem with self-doubt is that it feels so real, even when it's not based in reality."

"Yes, exactly!" She leaned more heavily into the steady warmth of his side. "Another complication is that I know this is something of a pattern for me. I get in my head about what I can and can't do, especially in context of my illness, and then I start to doubt my doubt." She made a goofy face to indicate that she knew this was somewhat silly.

"I absolutely get that. Would it help if I said that I believe you can do it?"

She bit her lip against her smile. "Yeah, it does help a lot, actually. I know that the real hurdle is making myself believe it. And I know I'll get there. In the meantime, I'm not giving up. I love having a place to call my own and I've enjoyed the ‘project' parts of getting everything ready more than I ever thought. It kind of feels like I'm on one of those home improvement shows," she said with a laugh.

"I know you just said you're not going to give up, but have you ever considered a career in construction, instead?" he teased. "I know a guy."

"Very kind of you to offer, but I think I'm going to stick with the flower business for now." Then she grew more serious. "The one good thing that has come out of my lupus is that it really made me face that it's impossible to be perfect all the time. That's true for everyone, but for me? My body just won't allow it. I have to make time to take breaks, to let myself grow. It's forced me to learn that doing your best is enough, even if that lands to stumbling now and again. The important part is trying and not giving up when you hit a roadblock."

A thoughtful frown crossed Liam's face. "That's a really good perspective… though a little hard for me to hear, I have to admit. I sometimes feel like I jumped ship on my job as soon as I hit that first roadblock, like I ran away instead of staying and fighting."

Now it was her turn to wrap an arm around him. She gave a tight, comforting squeeze.

"Well, I have a couple of thoughts on that. One, it's a hard lesson to learn. And two, knowing that you feel that way can help you react differently in the future. Part of learning to accept imperfection is embracing that even a so-called failure can be a learning experience. And three, sometimes retreating and running aren't the same thing. Like I said, sometimes you need to take a break. That's true for someone without a chronic illness too," she reminded him, nudging against him slightly.

He looked down at her, admiration in his gaze. "How did you get so wise?"

She fluffed her hair playfully. "Oh, that's just natural talent." Then, a flash of bravery coursing through her, she reached up and briefly touched his cheek. "Truly though, you don't have to think of this as something that ‘ruined' your life's work. Whether you go back to Boston or not, maybe this was just the time to make this change."

"And," he said quietly, "I met you."

"Yeah," she agreed, voice just as soft, "that was a pretty great bonus."

For a long moment they stared at each other, expressions fond and probably a bit dopey. It was a dreamy, wonderful moment, and Claire didn't feel any need to push for anything further.

Then a gust of wind blew some sand up and into their laps, causing Claire to squeal in surprise and Liam to let out a startled burst of laughter.

"Okay, okay, apparently even Mother Nature is telling us that's enough of the serious stuff," he said, climbing to his feet. He held out a hand to help her up as well. "What do you think, are we brave enough to dip our toes in the water?"

He had also shed his shoes long ago.

Claire had lived in coastal New England all her life, and she knew that no matter how pleasant the night air was, the Atlantic Ocean in March was going to be freezing. Even so, she found that she absolutely wanted to follow Liam's suggestion.

She shot him a playful look up through her lashes, bit her lip in a shy smile…

Then dropped her shoes and ran for the shoreline. "Last one in is a rotten egg!" she called over her shoulder, feeling like a little kid.

The wind snatched Liam's exclaim of surprise as she ran toward the water. The distance wasn't far, and she had a head start, but he was an experienced runner, a trained firefighter, and several inches taller than she was. All of this combined meant that he caught up with her in moments, seizing her around the waist, lifting her into the air, and spinning her around while she shrieked with laughter.

When he set her down, she gave a shriek of an entirely different sort. They were now standing in about an inch of water and, as Claire had predicted, it was positively frigid.

"Oh my gosh!" she cried, pressing herself closer to Liam, as if keeping her upper body against him would help the chill in her toes. "It's so cold!"

She looked up at him, effervescent with happiness.

And then she saw his face, so close to hers, and she forgot all about the chill of the water. He was smiling, face so kind and so handsome, and the moment was absolutely perfect. She pressed up onto her half-frozen toes to reach his mouth in a soft, affectionate kiss.

"Wow," she said afterward, feeling certain that she'd never stop smiling.

"Wow, indeed." He looked just as happy.

This time he leaned down for a kiss just as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. They enjoyed the embrace for several long moments, until the incoming tide sent a freezing wave slightly higher up their legs, causing both of them to exclaim in shock.

"That one got the bottom of my pants," he said. "I think that means it's time to clear out of here, before we become popsicle versions of ourselves."

"Do I even have toes anymore?" she joked.

Hand in hand, they walked up the beach and back toward Liam's car, heading, Claire hoped, toward a promising future together.