Chapter Eight

A lthough Wes tried his best to remain respectful and not smother Ellie, keeping his distance was killing him. The urge to gather her into his arms and kiss her into oblivion was nearly overpowering. He’d missed her to the point where he could barely function without her. And now here she was, back in his life like some kind of divine miracle that couldn’t be explained.

It didn’t take long for the pizza to arrive, and as Wes set the box on the kitchen table, Ellie appeared in the doorway. He glanced up and saw her hesitation. “C’mon on in,” he invited, smiling at her, doing his best to make her feel at ease. She wore a comfy-looking pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt, and her freshly-washed, shoulder-length hair looked even darker now that it was wet.

He must’ve been staring because she lifted a self-conscious hand to the damp strands. “What?” she asked.

“Nothing. Your hair is just darker than it used to be. Shorter, too. Like when we first met.”

“You don’t like it,” she assumed.

“No, it’s not that. I’m just not used to it.” She didn’t believe him. He could tell by the doubtful expression on her face. “Ellie, let me be clear—you could shave your head and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

So much for being subtle. He couldn’t help it, though. Loving Ellie gave him life and purpose. She was his everything and hiding his true feelings wasn’t easy. But the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off, so he knew he had to reel it in.

“Oh, well, that’s—nice.” She sat down and Wes cursed himself for being too forward.

Take it slow, he warned himself. Otherwise, she’d be hopping in a fast car to stay at the nearest motel. Or worse, leave him and head back to Michigan. And he couldn’t let that happen.

Wes opened the pizza box and they each took a slice.

“Oh, this is so good,” Ellie said, chewing. Her eyes practically rolled back in her head and Wes watched her savor it. Hell, he couldn’t tear his eyes away for anything. Here they were again, together, enjoying the simple things like they always used to do. His heart swelled with gratitude.

Unable to hide his smile, his slice forgotten, he watched her take another big bite. An olive fell off and she picked it up and popped it into her mouth. “No olive left behind.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d said that and, right at that moment, his world seemed to start turning again. It had stopped the day he lost her, but now this crazy merry-go-round that was his life began to move again. Sure, it would be full of ups and downs, but now that he had Ellie back, he was ready for it all. For the first time in eighteen months, he was looking forward to living again.

After downing her first slice, she wiped her face and took a drink of bottled water. Then she cocked her head, studying him intently. “Can I start the inquisition?”

Wes chuckled. “Sure, but Brand had a good point about not flooding you with too much information right away. So the moment you start to look overwhelmed or distraught in any way, we stop. Okay?”

“Sure.” As she reached for a second piece of pizza, she asked, “What’s my full name?”

“Elizabeth Marie Wright Murphy.”

She mulled that over for a moment. “And are we both from Michigan?”

“Born and raised in the Mitten,” he confirmed. “Your family’s still all there.”

“What about your family?”

“You are my family,” he instantly responded, then amended his statement quickly so he didn’t sound like an obsessed clinger. “My mom passed away when I was fifteen and Dad followed her right before I started at U of M. She had cancer, he had a broken heart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago, but thank you. Once we met, your family took me in.”

“I’m glad.” She gave him a small, shy smile. The one that always made his insides melt. “And we met at college?”

“Yeah, at a freshman mixer. You looked at me and smiled…and that was it. That one moment changed my life forever.” He cleared his throat. “We got engaged less than a year later and married before I left for the Navy.”

“The Navy?”

“I was a Navy SEAL until my injury forced me into early retirement.”

“What happened?” she asked in a low voice, eyes dipping to his prosthetic.

“Enemy fire. I got hit by a PKM which is a pretty gnarly Russian machine gun. They couldn’t save my leg below the knee.”

“Oh, God.”

“I was twenty-eight, laying there in my bed at Walter Reed, feeling sorry for myself when you marched into my room. You didn’t even hesitate, just pushed the tubes out of the way, kissed me on the lips and said, ‘We’re gonna be okay.’ I needed that so badly, and you knew it. During those early days, your strength carried us both through. Hell, the hospital staff nicknamed you the ‘long-haired admiral’.”

Ellie choked out a laugh, reached over and laid her hand on his arm. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Because of you.” He looked down at her delicate fingers on his skin, felt her warmth, and she quickly pulled her hand back, focusing on the pizza box between them. Trying not to be disappointed, knowing she needed time, he didn’t allow himself to reach for her like he so desperately wanted to do.

“I see how strong you are. You would’ve made it with or without me.”

“No, I wouldn’t have,” he stated softly. “You saved me.”

Suddenly, the air between them grew strained and she began to chew on her lower lip. Dammit, he knew he was saying too much, but it was all true.

“I don’t mean to overwhelm you, Ellie. I’m sorry if I’m telling you things you aren’t ready to hear, but I will always tell you the truth.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you.”

They each reached for the same slice of pizza and bumped hands.

“Sorry,” she apologized, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“Take it. I know you like the pieces with the bubbles in the crust.”

“This is all so strange,” she murmured. “You know so much about me and, as little as I know about myself, I know even less about you.”

Her face screwed up in a frown as the reality of her words hit them both. But he was okay with giving her time. And as much information about him as she wanted.

“Ask me anything. I’m an open book with you. Always have been. We made a promise a long time ago to never keep secrets from each other.”

“That’s a nice promise.”

“I think so.”

“So…are you a Wesley or a Weston?” she asked, propping her elbows on the table and studying him closely. Her chin rested in her palms and she tilted her head slightly in that perfectly Ellie way of hers.

Christ, she was beautiful. Once again, by some strange twist of fate, his beloved wife was sitting with him and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. “Weston James,” he answered, absently twisting the gold band on his finger.

“I like that.” Her attention moved to the plain band and he stopped turning it. “You still wear your ring.”

“I couldn’t take it off,” he said.

“I don’t know what happened to mine. I guess the pirates took it or I lost it when I fell overboard. I-I don’t really remember much about what happened that day.” A darkness settled over her pretty features and Wes immediately changed the subject, not wanting her to be distraught.

“Don’t think about that now. What else do you want to know?”

“How long have we been married?”

“It was twenty-seven years on August 15.” The best years of his life.

“Wow, that’s a long time. But I guess we are getting up there.” She sent him an adorably crooked smile.

“Yeah, the aches and pains remind me every day. We’re both forty-six. Your birthday is in October and mine is in December.”

“I’m older than you,” she remarked.

“You always played that card when you wanted something, saying you were older which made you wiser.”

She chuckled and then they both said, “You should listen to your elders,” at exactly the same time.

Hope zinged through Wes. It might take some time, but he believed Ellie would remember her past again. She had to.

Ellie finished her crust then asked the question he’d been waiting for. The one he wasn’t exactly looking forward to answering. “So, ah, no kids? Or pets?”

“No. We tried, but the doctor told us getting pregnant would be difficult. Turned out he was right. We almost got a dog, but…I don’t know. It just never happened.”

“Were we upset about that? Not having children, I mean?”

“I thought you would be, but you said…” His voice trailed off, unsure if she was ready to hear about all this. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. Plus, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to relive it himself.

“What?” she prodded.

“I was frustrated because I thought you wanted a baby and I couldn’t give that to you, so we got into an argument. That night, you told me the only thing you needed was us together, forever. Then you got your daisy tattoo.”

She slowly turned her wrist over to show the little flower. “I wondered why I picked a daisy.”

“Because of an old Celtic legend.” He searched her curious gaze, wishing he could share some frivolous reason for the ink. “Daisies are symbols of innocence and purity. It’s believed God sprinkled them over the Earth to comfort those who lost children.”

“Did we lose a baby?” she whispered.

“No,” he immediately responded, tracing the tattoo, feeling the strong, steady beat of her pulse beneath his finger. “You never had a miscarriage. But you thought it was a beautiful story and found comfort in it. We both did.”

As Ellie absorbed his words, Wes sighed and ran a hand over his face. She was starting to look burdened and he felt like he was doing a shit job easing her into her past.

“You must be tired,” he said, “and it was a really long trip.”

“It has been a lot.”

“Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll get the name of the doctor Brand mentioned and we can set up an appointment.”

Ellie stood up. “Thank you, Wes. I know this isn’t what anyone expected and you’re so patient.”

“We’ll take it slow,” he promised, getting up, “and I’ll be here to help you every step of the way.”

Just like she’d helped him.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“What was the best part of our marriage? Your favorite memory?”

He wasn’t expecting that question, but he didn’t hesitate. “We made every day the best day because the best parts were the little things. The small, seemingly insignificant moments where we just held hands, smiled and laughed together.”

“I like that,” she murmured, then moved closer, pushed up onto her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight, Wes.”

His heart sped up and he managed to whisper, “Goodnight, Ellie.”

Eyes glued to her, he watched her walk out and then released a shaky breath. Holy hell, his hands were trembling from the effort to not reach out and grab her. He wanted to hold her so damn badly. To drag her against his body, knowing how perfectly they molded together, and kiss away her fears, promising her that everything would be alright.

But, realistically, he had to prepare himself for the fact that her memory might never return. If that were the case, Wes vowed to create new memories with her. No matter what, he wasn’t letting her go.

◆◆◆

Ellie laid in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, her mind buzzing. Being back in the States and getting answers to her life and identity was a good thing, what she’d wanted, but it was also scary. Especially when she thought about the man who was right down the hall.

Weston James Murphy. Just thinking his name sent a little thrill through her. How had she gotten so lucky? The way he looked at her, his soft, brown eyes so full of hope, made her want to remember every last detail of their lives together. If everything he’d told her was true—and she had no reason to doubt him—she was married to an incredible man. Not only was he attractive, but she could sense so many good qualities in him.

“Wes is my husband,” she whispered, still trying to wrap her head around the situation. God, she’d had sex with him and couldn’t even remember. Over a twenty-seven year span, they must’ve had a lot of sex. It had been good, right? Butterflies fluttered in her nether regions. Yeah, she had a feeling it had been pretty fantastic. The fact that she’d been intimate with him, tried to have a baby with him, and couldn’t recall one single detail made her skin itch.

They had almost thirty years of moments together, precious moments, and no matter how hard she tried to remember, her fractured mind came up blank. It was so damn frustrating she wanted to scream.

Pulling in a deep breath, she clasped her hands and rested them on her stomach. Maybe if she immersed herself in her former life—looking through pictures and photo albums, talking to her family, spending all her time with Wes—it would all come rushing back. And that last part certainly wouldn’t be a hardship. She definitely enjoyed being in his company.

Even though they were older now, she could understand why she’d been attracted to Wes. He looked at her like she was the center of his universe. Like he would slay dragons to keep her safe. Thinking he lost her must’ve been unbearable for him.

Tomorrow, she would ask him more questions and try to plug the holes in her memory. Even though he was her husband, he was also a stranger. But she felt a connection to him. No doubt about it, and she wanted to explore it further.

When she’d been alone in Indonesia, not knowing who she was or where she was from, she’d had a feeling someone important was missing her. Needing her.

God knows, her soul had felt his absence, too.