Chapter Fifty-Nine - Westin

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

WESTIN

It's January when Sovereign and I finally make the sale that melds our two farms together. Now, Carter Ranch and Sovereign Mountain sit side by side, separated only by a thin fence line. In the spring, we'll put a gate in it so we can ride our horses back and forth.

Maybe someday soon, our children will do the same.

"How's Keira?" I ask one day while we're in the city getting the papers finalized.

"Pregnant," he says.

"I knew that," I say. "She's been pregnant since summer."

He pulls the door open to the general store and takes his hat off. I follow him inside, grateful for a bit of warmth.

"She sleeps most of the time," he says. "Can't blame her. Looks exhausting."

I nod, like I know what the fuck I'm talking about. We get our things, and I pick up a bag of lemon candies and a bolt of flannel for Diane. Sovereign heads up the mountain, and I take the road that loops around to Carter Ranch.

Snow falls softly over a frozen landscape. The air smells clean, like new beginnings .

I rewrote my story. I'm still the gunslinger. I'm still my father's son. I still come home at the end of the day with those fucking candies in my pocket.

But she chose me, and that makes all the difference. Every day, she chooses me. It's in the collar on her neck, the ring on her finger, her name on our contract and marriage license.

It's in the way she falls asleep in my arms, melted into me, trusting me with every breath in her lungs.

She was broken, but she gave me her trust. I'll never take that for granted.

Back at the house, she's in the little corner of our bedroom where I built her two bookshelves. She's in a dressing gown, her bright hair falling almost to her waist. Her back is to me as she stacks her books up. A guide to the flowers of northern Montana. A sketchbook with all her pictures.

When I kiss her head, she jumps and turns around.

"Don't scare me, Westin," she says.

I kiss her. "Are you hungry?"

She shakes her head. "I'm tired. I made soup and biscuits. Yours are in the microwave."

"You go lie down," I say. "I'll lock everything up."

She goes to bed without protest. After I've eaten and the dogs and horses are settled in for the night, I lay down beside her. She's fast asleep, snoring softly with nothing but the top of her golden head visible.

One second, I'm out cold. The next, I wake with a start to the patter of her bare feet running across the floor. The bathroom door slams, shaking the house. Something falls off the sink and crashes onto the hard tiles. Then, I hear her vomiting loudly on the other side of the wall.

My stomach flips.

No, it can't be.

I'm up in a second, pulling on my sweatpants. I tap lightly on the door. When she doesn't answer, I walk in to find her on her knees by the toilet. She looks up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Her eyes are perfectly round.

I just look at her, my heart going too fast to speak.

She smiles weakly. "I was trying to knit these…little socks to surprise you, but I think the surprise is ruined."

It sinks in slowly. Then, all at once. I lift her in my arms and carry her reverently back to the bed. She's shy, holding herself as I tuck her in. Her eyes follow me, hesitant, as I brush her hair back and kiss her forehead.

"Are you alright?" she whispers.

I nod.

"I thought you wanted a baby," she says, "so I stopped taking the pill. I hope that wasn't the wrong thing to do. You seemed really certain."

I clear my throat. "Darling, I think this is the happiest I've ever been."

Neither of us know what to say. She starts laughing and falls into my chest as her laughter turns into tears. I hold her and stroke her hair.

Just like that, the entire world has changed. We're no longer hunkered down for the winter. Now, we're just waiting on spring.

"I'm so tired," she says after a while. "Do you mind if I just nap this morning?"

"Anything you need," I say, helping her lay down. "I'll get you some water. No food?"

She shakes her head. "No food. I just want to sleep."

I get her some cold water, and she's already sound asleep when I return. Her beautiful face is relaxed. I stroke back her hair and press a kiss to her temple.

In the living room, I open the chest by the window where she stores our keepsakes. Inside are the quilts her Nana made, a few old recipes, my father's pistol, and her copy of Canterbury Tales .

I pick it up, turning it over in my hands, and open the first page. At the end of a long row of names, written in faded cursive is her name, and beside it is mine .

Diane Lemon Carter m. Westin River Quinn, July 17th.

There's no trace of those brief months she was married to a Garrison. Our children and grandchildren will only know that we met and fell in love on Carter Farms and lived happily ever after. To them, our past will be as bright as the future Diane and I will build together.

I touch her name, sitting next to mine where it belongs.

My girl. Diane Carter is my girl.