38

HUDSON

THE SNOW CRUNCHED BENEATH MY FEET as I weaved through the rows of graves, each step heavier than the last. I reached my mother's grave, a simple, elegant headstone etched with her name. My fingers traced the letters as I lowered myself to the ground beside it, ignoring the chill seeping through my clothes. I tucked my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I talked to her.

"I miss you so much." My voice broke. "I'm so lost without you."

Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I miss you, but I'm so angry with you. You left me with so many unanswered questions."

My sobs became more intense.

"Everyone expects me to move on with my life, but how can I do that? How am I supposed to get over watching my mother die in my arms?"

My thoughts drift to the most painful memory of my life. I remember the hospital room where she lay, her body frail and weakened by her relentless battle. The beeping of the machines, the sterile smell, and the dim, flickering lights made the atmosphere somber. I sat beside her, clutching her hand, my childish heart unable to grasp the gravity of the situation, but I knew it was the last time I would see my mother. The memory of that day has haunted me ever since.She would never watch me graduate or witness my relationship with Luna. She'd miss it all.

"I got into college, yours and Dad's alma mater. But I can't leave Dad. He's all I have left."

The admission felt like a knife in my chest, and I cried into my arms, my heart shattering all over again. I cried for hours until I sensed a presence beside me. My father stood with a forlorn expression as he gazed at my mother's grave. We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of our shared grief palpable, until my father spoke.

"Hudson, we've always been honest with each other." He said. "Ever since your mother's death, you've been looking for every excuse not to move forward with your life." I looked down at my snow-covered boots. My dad was not done. "I refuse to be the reason you hold yourself back. Your mother would never have wanted that for you."

My tears continued to flow.

"I can't leave you, Dad."

He kneeled, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I'll be okay, kiddo. I do have friends."

My head dropped as I brushed my hand down my face.

"You might be, but I won't."

He placed both hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him.

"You can always visit during the holidays. Nothing would make me happier than watching you follow your dream."

We stood up. I looked at him with a mix of sadness and love.

"I fear losing time with you."

Tears glistened in his eyes as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"We're going to have a lot of time together, kid." He said. "I promise you."

We held each other, crying on each other's shoulders, finding solace in our shared pain and love. Our shared bond warmed the winter air wrapped around us. Moving forward didn't mean letting go.