Chapter 25

25

Stepping outside, Laura let the heavy door close behind her, shutting in the murmur of chatting and the chink of glasses. As she walked through the small courtyard of outside seating, she pulled her scarf from her pocket and wrapped it around her neck. The evening had been odd – lovely, but odd all the same and she’d be glad to get home and have the time to process everything.

‘Hey, Laura. Hold up.’

Turning, she watched as Jackson jogged towards her, his coat in his arms. ‘You didn’t need to leave now, too.’

‘I know, but it’s not every night Darren offers to finish clearing the kitchen. Besides, I help him out behind the bar enough, he owes me.’ He chuckled as he shrugged into his coat before holding his hand out towards her.

Looking down at his hand, she took it, glad of the warmth from his skin.

‘Did they ask you to join their team? Catherine, Dan and Terry, I mean.’

‘They did. How did you know?’ She looked across at him.

‘Dan was singing your praises when he came up to the bar. Said he was looking forward to taking down the Red Lions.’

‘The Red Lions?’

‘The team from the next village along. They’re decent, really decent, but with you on our team now, they won’t stand a chance.’

‘Ha, I’d better get some practice in then. I’m still more than a bit rusty.’ She smiled. It would be good to a part of something, belong to a group.

‘I don’t think Dan thought you were rusty.’ Jackson lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

‘Well, I was.’ She shrugged.

‘Are you okay? You seem a bit… deflated?’

‘I’m fine.’ She swallowed. How could she say how she was feeling without coming across as ungrateful? ‘It’s just weird. Yesterday, heck, even this morning, I was the talk of the village for all the wrong reasons, either ignored or the receiver of so many dirty looks and now… now suddenly people like me.’

Jackson squeezed her hand, giving her the space to continue.

‘I know that sounds ungrateful to Vivienne and I don’t mean to be, I really don’t but…’ She looked up at the sky. It was clear, the newly crescent-shaped moon surrounded by stars. Meadowfield would be the perfect place for stargazing.

‘You don’t sound ungrateful.’

‘Oh, I do. I hear myself and I cringe.’ She let out a hollow laugh. ‘But I also can’t help the way I feel. I guess it will just take a bit of time to get used to what’s happened and forgive people for treating me as they did.’

‘That’s only natural.’

‘I mean, I know they were only ignoring me because they thought I was working for Mr Yates, and they didn’t agree with how he’d behaved towards Vivienne. I understand that. Completely.’ She sighed. It would just take time, but time she had. She wasn’t going anywhere and after having the chance to speak to Vivienne, it had only confirmed what Laura had already known deep down, that she loved Pennycress and all the opportunities it could bring. There was another question whirring in her mind, though. One which she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer to. ‘What were you and Evie Taunton speaking about?’

She looked down at the kerb as they crossed the road before glancing at him again. ‘Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have asked.’

‘I don’t mind you asking.’ He ran a palm across his face.

‘Okay…’ He clearly did or he wouldn’t be stalling, would he? ‘Look, forget it. You’ve got history with her and we’ve only just started…’ she held up their hands, ‘…this.’

‘We may have only just started dating, but we’ve known each other for years, so please never feel as though you can’t ask me something.’ He smiled a short, tight smile. ‘I was actually asking her what she’d hoped to achieve by ostracising you and spreading those rumours.’

‘Oh. And what did she say?’

‘She didn’t really give an answer.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t think she particularly understands the damage she’s caused.’

‘You don’t think she did it on purpose, then? You don’t think she knew exactly what she was doing by telling people I was renting, by suggesting I was going to turn Pennycress into some huge commercial chain hotel?’ Evie must have known. She must have.

Jackson was quiet, and it was only when they reached Wisteria Lane that he cleared his throat and spoke again. ‘I don’t know.’

Laura nodded. For whatever reason, Jackson clearly didn’t want to think Evie was capable of lying to the extent she had. That was fine. That was up to him.

Jackson paused outside his gate. ‘Do you fancy coming in for a coffee or hot chocolate?’

Did she? Her bed was calling her, the aftermath of the wine surfacing, but she didn’t want to leave things with Jackson like this. It felt awkward, and that was the last thing she’d wanted when she’d asked him about Evie. ‘One of your hot chocolates sounds good. Have you got cream?’

A grin spread across his face as he opened the gate and ushered her through. ‘Do you even need to ask?’

‘Haha, no I don’t suppose you’d have offered me a hot chocolate if you hadn’t.’ She smiled. Whatever Evie Taunton’s game had been, it wasn’t worth jeopardising what she and Jackson had found together.

She waited as he unlocked the front door before stepping into the hallway. As she’d assumed, his house was a lot smaller than Pennycress, but the original features were equally beautiful. She slipped her boots off onto the black and white tiled floor of the small porch before stepping through to the long narrow hallway. Looking up, she took in the stunning beams.

‘It’s gorgeous.’

‘Thanks. It’s taken a fair amount of work and I still have two bedrooms to finish off, but I’m content with how it’s coming along.’

‘Content? You should be over the moon. It’s stunning.’ She walked into the living room and ran her fingers across the wooden mantelpiece.

He grinned. ‘It’s amazing what you can pick up at the reclamation yard.’ He nodded towards the fireplace.

‘Is that where this is from?’

‘It sure is. That was a lucky find. It only needed sanding down and bringing back to its natural state. You should have seen the one I found for the master bedroom. It had at least ten layers of black paint on.’

She looked again at the mantelpiece. ‘It looks as though it’s always been here.’

‘Thanks. I’ll go and make the drinks. Make yourself at home.’

She waited until he’d left before turning on the spot. The room really was beautiful. He’d always been creative, but she’d never realised he’d be so good at something like this.

She lowered herself onto the sofa, leaning her back against the soft cushions and smiled as she listened to Jackson making their hot chocolates: the clatter of mugs being placed on the work surface, the click of the switch as the kettle finished boiling.

Rubbing her eyes as wine-induced sleep threatened, she pushed herself to standing and walked across to the small leaded window sunken into the yellow Cotswold stone of the cottage overlooking the garden and looked down at the photo frames displayed there.

Picking one of them up, she laughed. It was a photo of Jackson with her, Richie and Jenny. Taken on the beach at Whitby Bay, if she wasn’t mistaken. They were all smiling and holding ice creams. She and Jenny had their hair in bunches despite being in their early twenties, and Richie and Jackson had spiked theirs up with gel.

‘Oh, you found that pic.’ Jackson chuckled as he held out a mug towards her.

‘Ha, I did.’ Carefully replacing the photo frame, she took the mug. ‘I think I remember that day.’

He grinned as he looked at it. ‘About ten years ago we’d gone down to Whitby Bay on a day trip. Is that what you were thinking of?’

‘Yes, we tried to recreate a photo taken when we’d been younger.’

‘That’s right. Hence the Mr Whippy ice creams and the shocking hairstyles.’

She shook her head. ‘Harry asked me to move in with him that day.’

‘He did? I didn’t know.’

She nodded. She’d felt confused even back then. ‘I almost said no. I think if it hadn’t been for the fact we were by the beach and everything else was perfect, I might have told him we should wait.’

‘Seriously?’ Jackson sat down on the large blue sofa.

‘Yep. Jenny and Richie had been talking about how super happy they were with Rob and Jane, and I felt left out.’ She shrugged. It had felt right when Harry had asked. The timing had anyway. She just hadn’t been so sure about the man. ‘And you’d just got with that girl. What was her name? Tania? And you were so in love.’

‘Tasmin.’

‘That was it.’ Sitting beside him, she ran her finger through the cream on her hot chocolate before licking it off.

‘And just for the record, I wasn’t “so in love”.’ He curled his free forefinger around the words.

‘You weren’t?’

‘Nope. It was you I wanted, but you were with Harry, and I had to let the idea of you and me ever getting together go.’

‘Ha, now I know you’re joking.’ She pointed her finger at him. It had been her who had had the crush on him, not the other way around, despite what he’d previously hinted at. She’d have known if he’d felt anything more than friendship towards her.

Jackson reached around the back of her and drew her towards him for a hug. ‘Think what you like, but it’s true.’

‘Well, if you are being honest…’ She shifted against the cushions so she was looking at him. ‘And that’s a big if. Then we’ve wasted so many years trying to be happy with other people and being in rubbish relationships which we’ve tried so desperately to make work. And for what?’

‘For nothing.’

‘Exactly. For literally nothing.’ She drank some hot chocolate, its sweet flavour just perfect after the wine. ‘Are you being really honest though? Or just saying what you think I want to hear?’

‘Have I ever lied to you?’ His expression was serious.

‘Umm, no.’ She laughed. ‘Actually, how am I supposed to answer that? If you have, then I wouldn’t know anyway, unless you’re a super rubbish liar and I found out after.’

Jackson chuckled as she leaned back against him. ‘True. Well, I’ll promise you that I haven’t then.’

‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded and balanced her half-full mug on her lap before closing her eyes. It just felt so right with him. All the feelings she’d spent years trying to squash down inside her, trying to bury and tell herself they weren’t real, were surfacing and she’d never felt so happy, so sure of being with someone before.

‘Penny for them.’ Jackson’s breath tickled her hair as he spoke.

‘I was just thinking how perfect this was, that we’ve met again like this, and how much I love you.’ She clamped her hand over her mouth and sat up, her hot chocolate dribbling down the side of the mug and forming a puddle on her jeans as she did so. What had she said? She stood up, her face hot with fierce embarrassment. ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve drunk too much wine.’

‘No need to apologise.’

‘Oh, there is, there really is.’ She looked around for a coaster, somewhere to place her mug before spying an envelope standing behind a picture frame on the mantelpiece and placing it on there. ‘I shouldn’t have had so much to drink. I’ve not had a sip of alcohol in months and it’s gone straight to my head. I’ll let myself out.’

‘Please don’t go.’ Jackson stood up and placed his own mug on the coffee table to his right.

‘I need to.’ She pointed to the door, backing away as he approached her. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have let the ‘l’ word slip? How could she stay now after she’d made such a huge idiot of herself? ‘I really need to. I’m so sorry.’

Taking her hand in his, Jackson rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand. ‘Did you mean what you said?’

Could this get any worse? ‘Of course not. We’ve only just started seeing each other. Like I said, I’m drunk. I’ve had too much wine. There, you can feed back to Darren that the local wines he’s sampling are too strong…’ Her voice quietened, the excuses tailing off. All she could focus on was the gentle caressing of Jackson’s thumb against the back of her hand and his eyes, dark blue and brooding, meeting hers.

‘I love you too.’ His voice was soft, suddenly unsure and lacking in confidence. His statement almost a question.

She blinked, her throat dry. ‘You do?’

‘It is early, too early, to be feeling like this about one another if we’d only just met, but we’ve known each other so long and I think we both felt something beforehand, so…’ He shrugged.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she looked down at the floor. Had he actually said it? Had he really told her he loved her too? She needed to get home, back to the inn, and make sense of it all. Suddenly she needed to be alone. She needed to think. Looking back up at him, she smiled. ‘I’m still going to go now.’

‘You are?’ Dropping her hand, confusion swept across his face.

‘Yes, but not because we’ve told each other how we feel, just because so much has happened in the past few hours and I need to make sense of it all.’

‘Right. Okay.’ Jackson nodded.

She searched his face – his forehead was creased with confusion – and felt a pang of regret that she’d spoilt the moment. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, to make him second-guess himself, second-guess her intentions. She literally just needed to take some time for herself. Taking both his hands in hers, she leaned forward, their lips millimetres apart. ‘I can’t believe you feel the same way.’

Jackson relaxed, his grin returning. ‘I’ll walk you to your door.’