Chapter 57 Spencer Nash

What the Fuck is in Temecula

Five Months After the Wedding

I replied to him right away that I'd take a look, but then it took me almost a week to get back to Steve—mostly because I had other shit to take care of. I had a charity event in the evening, and then it was back to practice and preparing for our next opponent as we traveled to Miami.

The first and most obvious solution here is for someone to catch Amelia in the act of cheating. The clause in the will is very clear on that point, and I'm not sure how much of this I'm supposed to know—or how much of it he wants Grace to know. It feels like a heavy responsibility he laid on me, but he said he trusts me. And I take that to heart.

Which is why I've carefully avoided Grace.

I don't want to talk to her and slip what I know, but I also told her it was over the last time I spoke with her.

I still stand by that. I still want her to have her vineyard. She deserves it, and we've been faithful to each other despite how I ended things personally between us last week.

I wonder how she's doing. I think about calling her. I think about texting her. I think about her .

But she hasn't reached out to me, social media rumors or not, and so I think maybe it's just better this way.

A win against the Dolphins at their home stadium feels good—and even better since I actually caught a pass or two this time, one that I ran all the way into the end zone for a touchdown.

I'm getting my head back in the game because it's the only place it can be right now. After the rumors hit social media about my possible divorce, the locker room chatter died out.

The other wide receivers have rallied around me, and having their support as we work on strengthening our bond has been everything I need.

But as the plane touches down on Sunday evening after our game and I make my way back to my empty apartment, that same sense of loneliness hits me again.

I can do this for three years. It'll be fine. It'll be good.

But then what?

Then I'm thirty-three and alone.

I thought my life would look different by now than it does.

I stand near my windows with a glass of bourbon again, and this time I don't slam it against the wall to shatter it. I contemplate what I want to do, and I finally decide that if I want to help Steve get the answers he needs, I should head up to Temecula tomorrow and find out what's going on. It's only about an hour from where I live, and I'd like to check out this place my wife has no idea about.

I have this strange feeling like I don't want to go alone, but I have no idea who to ask.

I could ask one of my teammates. Clay, maybe. But I'm not close enough to him to admit what I'm going through.

I think of one of the few people who is impulsive enough to be game to go with me, and at the same time, would drop anything and show up at my door if I asked, and I text him.

Me: You got any plans tomorrow?

Asher: Just a workout in the morning. Why?

Me: I need to take a trip to Temecula. Want to go?

Asher: Temecula? What the fuck is in Temecula ?

I laugh out loud, and it feels good to laugh with one of my brothers after the heaviness that's been swirling around me the last few days.

Me: Just have something I need to do and don't want to do alone.

Asher: I'll be there. Name the time.

Me: My place at eleven?

Asher: I'll be there.

When morning comes, Asher shows up at my place a little after ten thirty.

He's wearing jeans paired with a button-down, collared shirt that has neon geometric shapes. It reminds me of something out of the nineties.

I've said it plenty of times before. I try to go for the quiet elegance of looking put together without really trying all that hard, while my brother here is all about statement pieces.

This Saved by the Bell shirt is better than the purple velour tracksuit, I guess.

"Brochacho!" I yell after I take in his clothes.

"Broski!" he yells back, and our hands meet in the middle before we share a quick bro-hug complete with a slap on the back.

"You're early," I say as I let him into my apartment.

He glances around. "I'm at the mercy of the airline."

"Did you bring a bag?"

He shakes his head. "Just my phone and AirPods. By the way, I'll need to charge this in your car." He holds up his phone, and I can't help a laugh.

We head to the parking garage, and he slips into the passenger seat of my car.

"So what's all this about?" he asks.

"Buckle up," I say, and I'm not sure if I'm telling him to physically buckle his seatbelt or figuratively prepare for my story. Both, I guess.

I draw in a deep breath, set my GPS, and start from the beginning with the night I met the Newman sisters. He knew about the wedding in Vegas, but he wasn't as clear on the fact that I actually did fall in love with Grace somewhere in the middle of all of it .

By the time I get to the end of the story, we're only ten minutes from the vineyard. "And now I need to find out who this Theodore Monroe guy is so I can help Grace get both the Cedar Creek and the Temecula vineyards."

"Can't you just set a trap to catch Amelia?" he asks.

I shrug. "I'm not there. It's not that simple, you know? I've got practice and workouts and meetings. Events and endorsements. You know how it goes, and I'm not sure how to present all this to Grace. I want her to have her vineyard, but I feel like it's sort of at the expense of whatever this is between the two of us."

"I do know how it goes," he says with a nod. "And when something feels important enough, I make the time." He waves a hand between us. "Like this. You never call me out of the blue like this, so I knew something was up. And you know what, Spencer? For being the smart one, you're sure being a dumbass."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," he mutters.

"How am I being a dumbass?"

"You're trying to deal with this whole thing like you deal with everything. You're letting logic lead the way, but if I've learned anything from Gray and Linc…well, it's that love isn't always very logical. My man Grayson ended up with his best friend's little sister. Old Bro Lincoln waited around twenty fucking years for his woman. And hearing what you have to say…what you have with Grace is most definitely love, my friend."

"How am I leading with logic?" I ask, ignoring the rest of everything he just said.

"Jesus, you're even dumber than I first thought. You really don't see this?" He leans back in his seat and folds his arms across his chest.

I shake my head.

He sighs. "Dude, you're protecting yourself. You're putting a stop to things before you're even giving it a chance to work, and I think it's because of Mom and Dad. "

"Because of Mom and Dad?" I ask, not sure where that came from.

"It affected all of us in different ways. Their divorce, I mean." He shrugs. "For me, it made me not want commitment. For you, you're scared because you jumped too fast into a commitment, and now you're backing slowly away."

When the fuck did Asher get a psychology degree?

"I get it," he says, holding up both hands before I can ask that question. "You don't want to be with Amelia, and Grace did a few things that reminded you of Amelia. But guess the fuck what? You proposed to Amelia, too, so there was something about her that you loved. But then you married her sister. Not very logical for my man of logic, is it? As an outsider, here's what I can gather. You chose the wrong sister first. You've been in love with Grace since the night you met her, and it was inevitable you'd end up with her, but there's something in your brain telling you that you can't be with her. So fix whatever that is and stop stepping in your own goddamn way so you can wear that same sloppy, drunk in love, dumbass smile Grayson and Lincoln have."

I can't help but burst out laughing at the end of his tirade. "What about you?"

"What about me?" he asks.

"You don't want commitment because Mom and Dad got divorced?"

He shakes his head. "Not really. Gray said Mom told him she wouldn't trade in the years she had with Dad, but dude, I live with Dad. He's a handful, man. I don't know that I could've put in forty years or whatever she did with him, and I can't see myself ever finding someone I want to spend that much time around."

I think about Grace and how it feels like total devastation when she's not around.

Is my dumbass brother right?

Am I trying too hard to be logical about all this when there's absolutely no logic when it comes to love?

We can't help the way we feel, and sometimes we can't just categorize that into a neat little box. Asher's words actually make me wonder, for the first time ever, if I've really been in love with Grace since the night I met her. Or maybe I could have been if her sister would've given her the chance to shine.

And now she's trying to take more away from Grace, who never deserved to lose any of this.

We pull into the parking lot of Newman Winery, and I wonder why it has a different name than Newlywed. It's one of the many things I intend to find out.

But I also want to find out without being recognized. If this Theodore person has some connection to Maggie, he might know that I married her granddaughter. It's too late now to disguise myself, so my brother and I head inside as I hope for the best.