Chapter Ten

Ed looked exactly the same. He was older of course. They both were. But when she looked at him, Stephanie could see the man she'd married all those years ago. When she was seventeen, Ed had been everything a girl could possibly want in a husband. A few years older than her, he had a job in his parents' garage, so he had money. Far more money than she had. He was good looking and sexy in a hard-working blokey sort of way. And he had adored her. Presents weren't easy to come by in Coorah Creek back then, but he'd done his best. Most importantly, he'd had prospects. Steph had imagined that he would one day inherit the business, sell it and the two of them could move on to some better place. A more exciting place where her days weren't endlessly the same. But what did she know? An inexperienced girl from a hick town in the middle of nowhere had set her sights on Ed and the life she thought she would have with him.

How wrong she had been.

On the long drive here, Stephanie had rehearsed what she would say to her husband when she saw him. She would try to explain what she'd done all those years ago and ask for his forgiveness. She would ask him about their son and the man he had become. She would find the words to make him understand why she had left them. She was older, but she was still attractive. She'd worked hard to make sure of that. She wouldn't have much competition in a place like the Creek. She would make Ed want her again. He would take her back. Because right now, the future she had once rejected was looking pretty good.

She and Ed stood saying nothing for what seemed a very long time. There were lines on his face and she knew she was responsible for some of them. She smiled hesitantly. He didn't smile back. He didn't do anything. He just stood and looked at her.

‘Hello, Ed,' she said at last.

He didn't say a word. His eyes, still flecked with the dark gold of a Banksia flower, were fixed on her face as if he found it hard to believe she was there. She shouldn't be surprised. She found it hard to believe too.

‘I'll just … leave you two …'

Ed finally moved as Helen turned and almost ran from the room. He made as if to follow her, but stopped. He ran a hand over his face and turned back to Stephanie.

‘Stephanie?'

‘It's good to see you, Ed.' She made her voice soft and hesitant.

‘I don't understand. How long have you been …? And what … why?'

She lowered her eyes from his face and clasped her hands in front of her. She waited a few seconds before answering. He had every right to be shocked. She was far more affected by this meeting than she had ever imagined she would be.

‘I just got in today,' she said quietly. ‘Just a little while ago. I …' She stopped speaking, suddenly aware of the silence around her. Every eye in the bar was carefully looking elsewhere, but she knew every ear would be trained on their conversation. Coorah Creek had changed since she left – but not that much.

‘Is there somewhere we can go? Somewhere private?'

Ed glanced around, and frowned, as if suddenly realising where he was. He turned abruptly and she had no choice but to follow him. He walked through into the empty lounge and glanced around to see if they were alone. They were.

Stephanie led the way to a table in the corner of the room and lowered herself into a chair. Ed had no choice but to follow. He hesitated before he too sat. Stephanie breathed a little sigh of relief.

‘How are you, Ed? You look good.'

‘What's going on, Stephanie? Why are you here? After all these years.'

His face was closed. He wasn't going to make it easy for her. That was fair enough. She didn't deserve any better.

‘The ad. In the paper. I saw it.' She wouldn't tell him that she saw the ad several weeks ago. Nor that she had simply stuffed it into a drawer and forgotten all about it. It would still be there and she would still be back in her lovely home in Brisbane, if things hadn't changed. If she hadn't been forced to come back.

‘So you know what I'm doing.'

‘Yes. You're divorcing me.' Her voice trembled. ‘I cried when I realised that.'

‘Steph, it's been fourteen years. Not so much as a single word in fourteen years. For all I knew, you could have been dead.'

‘I'm sorry,' she whispered. ‘I really am so terribly sorry.'

‘You didn't have to come back. I didn't ask you to come back. The lawyers are handling everything.'

‘I wanted to come back. I wanted to see you again, Ed. To talk to you and ask you to forgive me. I wanted to see Scott, if he was still here.' She looked up at Ed, her voice hesitant. ‘Is he here? Scott. I'd give anything to see him again.'

‘No. He's in England.'

Stephanie was rocked by the harshness in Ed's voice. ‘How is he? Is he married? Is he happy?'

‘Steph, he's fine. No thanks to you. You almost destroyed that boy when you walked out on him. On both of us. For a long time …' Ed's voice trailed off and Stephanie began to glimpse just how much pain she had caused her husband and her son.

‘I'm so sorry, Ed. What can I say? I was young and stupid. I never meant to hurt Scott. Or you.'

‘But you did.' Ed's voice was hard. ‘Why have you come back, Steph?'

‘I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to see you again. Thinking about the divorce … it made me realise how wrong I was to leave you. It was a mistake. I wish I could turn back—'

‘Stop it.' The sound of Ed's chair scraping on the lino floor was harsh. ‘Just stop it. Stay. Go back. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. Not any more. Let the lawyers sort it out now.'

‘But Ed …'

It was no use. Her husband turned and walked out of the door, his back ramrod straight. Stephanie sat staring after him, struggling to keep her emotions under control. She had known it wouldn't be easy. She deserved every bit of Ed's anger and hatred. But that wasn't going to stop her. It wasn't a big step from desperate to determined. And she was both.

Ed walked home without a backward glance at the hotel. He was still struggling to believe what had just happened. Stephanie was back in the Creek. After all these years. In the weeks after she left, he had hoped and dreamed that she might come back. For months he had whispered her name into the darkness of the night, and yearned for her. And he'd cursed her too. Before he finally just stopped thinking about her. Deep down, he'd come to accept that he would never see her again. The lawyers had placed the ads in the newspapers because that was what the law required. Ed had accepted the possibility that she might contact him. He had been prepared for a phone call. Or some contact via the lawyers. Just to get the paperwork done.

It had never occurred to him Stephanie would show up back in the Creek.

And he had no idea how he was supposed to react.

To have her reappear like that. With no warning. Just as he and Helen were about to have dinner.

Helen?

His steps faltered and at last he turned to look behind him. The hotel sat, as it had always sat, on the junction at the centre of town. The social hub of his small world, with its windows shining brightly into the night. And in that hotel were two women. His wife and … Helen.

The lights were on in the rooms on the top storey of the hotel. Helen was in one of the rooms. A part of him wanted to go to her. But he couldn't. How could he explain to her what he didn't understand himself?

Instead he went into his house. His computer sat on the kitchen table where he'd left it before going to the pub. He opened the lid and powered it up. He'd been talking to Scott such a short time ago. Maybe he was still online. He deserved to know.

‘Hey, Dad. What did you forget?'

‘Scott …' Ed hesitated, not quite sure how to break the news. After Steph's disappearance, Scott had spent years looking for her. He'd failed. Scott was going to be as shocked as he was by Stephanie's sudden appearance.

‘Dad … something's wrong?'

‘Scott, this internet this is great … to be able to talk like this. But I just wish I was there …'

‘Dad … what is it?'

‘Scott, it's your mother.'

‘Mum? What about her? Have the lawyers found her?' Scott's face faltered as Ed struggled to find the right words.

‘Dad? What is it? Is she—'

‘No. No. She's fine, Scott. It's just – well, she's here.'

‘There? In Coorah Creek?'

Ed nodded.

‘She came back? She swore she never would.'

‘I know. She just turned up. I walked into the pub this evening and there she was.'

Ed watched the emotions crossing his son's face. The rift between father and son, caused by Stephanie's desertion and the lies he'd told, had taken thirteen years to heal. Ed didn't want anything to break their newly forged bonds … least of all the woman who had broken them apart all those years ago.

‘Are you all right, Dad?'

That was a very good question. ‘I'm not sure. It's all a bit of a shock.'

‘She knows about the divorce?'

Ed nodded. ‘That's what brought her back. She saw one of the ads the solicitors took out.'

‘Surely she's not going to fight you on this!'

‘I don't know.'

‘Do you …' Scott was hesitant. ‘Dad, are you still going through with the divorce? You don't want her back, do you? After everything that's happened?'

And there it was. The question Ed had been trying to avoid since the moment he saw Stephanie in the bar.

He didn't want her back. Did he? She was his first and only love. His wife and the mother of his child. After she left, every footstep outside his door had caused his heart to leap in the hope she was back. He had long ago forgiven her infidelity. Could he forgive her desertion as well? And if he did, was there a relationship there to rekindle? He had watched her twisting her hands and noticed that she wasn't wearing the rings he'd given her. But her finger still showed the mark of those rings. Perhaps she too had held on to the hope that one day that marriage would be rekindled.

‘Dad?'

‘No. I don't …' His voice trailed off as memories burst to life in his head. Steph and he had been teenagers together. They had learned about love and life together. He remembered how his heart has almost burst with love on their wedding day and in the hospital the day Scott has been born. It had been easy to say that was all in the past when Steph was nothing more than memories. But now she was here. A flesh and blood woman who had once been everything to him. That was harder to push aside.

‘Did she … did she ask about me?'

Scott's question brought Ed firmly back to the present. He wasn't the only one affected by Steph's return. Scott must be as confused as he was.

‘She did. I told her you were in England. I think she would like to talk to you. If you want to talk to her.'

Ed saw his son hesitate. Those years of searching for his mother had left their mark.

When Scott finally spoke, he sounded sure. ‘Yes. I do. But not tonight. I need some time to process this.'

‘You and me both, son,' Ed said. ‘I could try to set something up for this time tomorrow. If that's not too soon? I just don't want to wait too long … let this drag on.'

‘I understand. Tomorrow is fine. But only if you're all right with this, Dad.'

‘I have to be. She's here now. I … we just have to deal with it.'

Helen wished she had a car. Then she could get in it and just drive away. But she didn't have a car, and driving away would mean leaving Tia behind. She wouldn't do that. But she wouldn't go back to the hotel either. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing Ed and his wife together. Having dinner … the dinner she was supposed to be having with him.

The tears were pricking at the back of her eyes again.

‘Damn it!' She brushed them away angrily. In her life, she had shed far too many tears over men. The day she lost Tia, she had sworn she would never cry over a man again … because nothing was as bad as having your child run away from you. Nothing.

But this was close.

For the first time in forever she had allowed herself to hope. Her daughter had welcomed her back into her life. And then Ed had appeared, with that easy understanding and inner kindness and strength, the likes of which she had never seen before. He made her feel young again. He made her feel valued. He made her feel like a woman.

And now his wife was back. Helen had no illusions. Despite her new hairstyle, she knew that compared to Stephanie, she was a sparrow competing with a swan. Although they must be around the same age, Stephanie was far prettier than her. She wasn't worn down with years of loss and searching. She didn't bear the scars of too many bad men and bad choices.

She had seen Stephanie's face when she looked at Ed. Seen the emotion there. Stephanie still had feelings for him. It had been written clearly for the whole world to see. She hadn't dared look too closely at Ed's face, in case she saw the same feelings reflected in his eyes. She had run. Out of the pub and to the only place in Coorah Creek she could go – Max's home behind the police station.

She had been sitting on the steps for what seemed like hours, waiting for him to return. She was alone. In the darkness. Trying not to cry.

From here, she couldn't see the pub. Or the garage. She didn't know if Ed and Stephanie were still in the bar. Perhaps Ed had taken her back to the house where they had once lived as man and wife. Maybe in their old home, they would rediscover …

‘Helen? What are you doing sitting here in the dark? Is everything all right?' Max seemed to appear from nowhere.

‘No. It's not all right.' She began sobbing as if her heart was breaking, which she suspected it was. Max stepped towards her and lifted her gently to her feet.

‘Whatever it is, Helen, we can deal with it. Tia and I are here for you.'

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. As she sobbed against his chest, she couldn't help but wish that it was another man holding her in his arms.