Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

F or the next few days, the house felt emptier than usual. Jonathan and Ciara avoided each other, their fight casting a long shadow over their interactions.

Ciara was informed that Jonathan was away during the day, occupied with business matters while Ciara busied herself with managing the household.

Each passing day seemed to widen the chasm between them, and the distance felt insurmountable.

The day of the dinner at her parents' house arrived. Ciara sat at the breakfast table, pushing her food around her plate absentmindedly.

She glanced at the empty seat where Jonathan usually sat, a pang of sadness hitting her heart. She sighed and looked up at the butler.

"Winston, please remind Jonathan about the dinner at my parents' house tonight," she instructed, her voice tinged with hope.

The butler nodded and left the room. Ciara continued to pick at her breakfast, her thoughts swirling. She hoped that this dinner could serve as a bridge for reconciliation, a chance to mend what was broken between them. She wanted to believe that Jonathan would see the importance of this evening, not just for her but for them as a couple.

After a while, the butler returned. His expression was neutral, but the words he spoke felt like a blow. "I am to inform you that His Grace will not be attending the dinner this evening, Your Grace."

Ciara's heart sank. She had hoped for a different response, one that would show he was willing to meet her halfway. Instead, it felt like another door had closed between them. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. If Jonathan wasn't going to make an effort, then she wouldn't bother with him anymore. One could only hope for so long until their hope dwindled like the flicker of a candle in the wind.

She stood up, her resolve hardening, her fingers curled into angry fists. "Very well," she said, her voice firm. "I'll go alone."

The day passed in a blur as Ciara prepared for the evening. She dressed carefully, selecting a gown that her mother would approve of, and styled her hair meticulously. By the time the carriage was ready, she felt composed, determined to face her parents without Jonathan by her side.

Who needs him, she thought to herself, wanting to banish him from her mind, but that was impossible.

As she rode to her parents' house, Ciara's mind slowly drifted to the dinner ahead. It was supposed to be a new beginning, a chance to rebuild bridges and start anew. Now, it felt like another challenge she had to face alone.

Upon arriving at her parents' house, Ciara was greeted warmly. Her parents were clearly making an effort, their earlier apology still fresh in her mind. They guided her into the dining room where the table was set elegantly, the soft glow of candles creating a warm ambiance. Everything seemed perfect. But then, a thought unfurled inside of her. Too perfect?

"Your husband will not be joining us?" her mother inquired tenderly, a note of concern in her voice as she pulled Ciara out of the tangled web of her own mind.

Ciara forced a smile. "He couldn't make it," she said, endeavoring to keep her tone light, as if it didn't matter at all.

Her mother's keen eyes noticed the turmoil beneath the surface. "You seem so upset, my dear. Tell me what happened."

This new relationship felt strange. Ciara couldn't tell if it was safe, if it was advisable to tell her mother about what had happened. But she didn't have any of her friends around, and she needed to get her frustration out somehow. She decided to let her guard down against all instinct and common sense telling her to be cautious.

"Are you upset because your husband couldn't join you this evening?" her mother asked, somehow managing to guess immediately.

Ciara hesitated for a moment then she nodded. "Yes. We… argued a few days ago."

"About what?"

"He told me that he doesn't want children, and it took me by surprise," Ciara admitted. "I thought he just said it in the spur of the moment, that he might change his mind, but I doubt that now."

Her mother reached out, taking Ciara's hand gently. "My dear, I can see how much this is hurting you. Perhaps he did say it in the spur of the moment, and just needs more time to withdraw what he said?"

Ciara shook her head. "I doubt it. Jonathan doesn't say things he doesn't mean."

"Remember, Ciara, that sometimes people act out of pride or fear. Your husband may need time to come around. After all, marriage requires a change from two people, a change that helps them adjust to each other, and some people need more time than others for that to happen."

Ciara shook her head, her voice breaking. "It's not just that. When I tried to reach out, he wasn't willing to make the effort. And then… It's like he's pushing me away."

Her mother's expression softened with understanding. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. "Well… you know, my dear, us women have to endure men. Just look at your father and me. Sometimes, he does silly things, and I do forgive him eventually. It is all right to be upset with him. But if you have a good marriage, you will find your way back to each other."

Ciara wiped a tear from her cheek. "I just feel so alone. It's like I'm fighting for something that's slipping through my fingers."

Her mother squeezed her hand reassuringly. "You feel now as every other woman has felt at some point in her life. Marriage is hard work. Perhaps you couldn't see that before, and now, you do."

Lady Hartfield paused once.

"I mean, I don't want to say that your marriage wasn't serious before, it's just… well, you didn't know much about him. Now, you do. Perhaps you aren't meant for each other. Time will tell, and even if this is true, I want you to know that it won't be the end of the world."

Ciara nodded. Her mother was right. After all, they didn't marry because of love but because of convenience. It was nothing more than that. And she should have known that they would never have a real marriage.

"Thank you, Mother," she said, her burden still present but somehow lightened by her mother's words.

As she gazed at her mother, a surprising sense of relief washed over her. The evening's troubles had not disappeared, but the heartfelt conversation with her mother had provided comfort to her troubled heart. For the first time in what felt like ages, she felt a connection with her family, something she had longed for but never fully experienced.

Her mother's kindness and understanding had been more than just words; they had been a revelation. The compassion and support that Lady Hartfield had shown were exactly what Ciara had always wanted—a genuine, open-hearted dialogue with her mother, one that transcended the usual formalities and reached the core of her feelings.

Then her mother surprised her with yet another idea. "Ciara," she began, her voice warm and soothing, "I've been thinking. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you're welcome to stay here for a while. We can send for your things and make arrangements for you."

Ciara's eyes widened in surprise and gratitude. The offer was unexpected but immensely appreciated. She had been struggling with her recent arguments with Jonathan and the subsequent distance between them. The idea of staying with her family, especially after the meaningful conversation they had shared, felt like a good idea.

"Mother, I… I don't know what to say," Ciara stammered, her voice thick with emotion. "Thank you. This means more to me than you can imagine."

Lady Hartfield smiled warmly, reaching out to clasp her daughter's hands. "You don't need to say anything. We'll arrange everything for you."

Ciara felt a wave of relief and happiness wash over her. Although her childhood home was not a place of happy memories, it seemed to Ciara that things were finally changing. Perhaps Jonathan couldn't see the core change that her parents had been going through. Who was she not to believe them when she wanted to do so with all her heart?

"Thank you, Mother," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I'd like that very much."

"Now, why don't you go up to your room and write a letter to your husband explaining everything?" her mother suggested. "We can send it off immediately, and then, we can enjoy a nice dinner together as a family."

Ciara nodded in agreement, leaving her mother and ascending the stairs to her room as a sense of resolution guided her steps. Once in her room, she sat down at the small writing desk by the window, the soft light of the evening casting a gentle glow over her as she prepared to write to Jonathan. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her pen and began to write with a calm, deliberate hand. Her thoughts were clear, and her heart, though still tinged with the remnants of their argument, was at peace.

My Dear Jonathan,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to inform you that I have decided to stay with my parents for a while. After our recent disagreement, I felt that this time apart might be beneficial for both of us.

My parents have arranged for my belongings to be sent to the Hartfield estate. I trust you will handle this with the usual efficiency.

Yours sincerely,

Ciara

She carefully folded the letter, sealing it with a wax stamp. The simple act of putting her thoughts into words felt like a small but significant step toward resolution. With a quiet sigh, she handed the letter to the servant waiting outside her door, instructing him to deliver it promptly.

She couldn't believe how things were developing. She thought that things were wonderful with Jonathan, but he had to revert to the way things were in the beginning, hurting her in the process. She wondered if it was even possible for them to find their way back to each other. Obviously not if he wanted to have things as they agreed them to be in the beginning.

She inhaled deeply, deciding not to dwell on it any longer, at least during the dinner with her parents. That was yet another thing she was incredulous about. She was there, in her childhood home, not wanting to run away from it but actually, the opposite. She never thought that the doors to her home would open up as a sanctuary, and that was the case now.

She smiled, finding her way down to the dining room where her parents were waiting for her.

Only, they weren't alone.

Ciara gasped.

"Hello my lost little sheep," Mother Superior, the very figure from her painful past, said.