Chapter 18

18

T illie couldn't stop thinking about the kiss she'd shared with Aidan. It had felt nice.

Nay, better than nice. It had been … exciting.

It had made her body respond in ways she hadn't known it could. Even her toes had reacted, curling into her slippers. And now she found she wanted more. She wanted to explore kissing, and maybe more, with her husband.

But he had pulled away from her and Tillie wasn't sure what that meant. Was he not attracted to her? Did he find he couldn't be with another woman because he still loved his late wife so much?

That thought sobered her and drew a frown to her face just as the bedchamber door opened.

"Me Laird," she said, surprise evident in her voice. She had not expected him to return so soon.

Aidan looked a little startled to see her in the chamber, but he offered her a slight smile as he closed the door.

"I came for a change of clothes before supper," he explained.

Tillie nodded and bit her bottom lip. Her thoughts had been on kissing him and now that he was here, she wasn't sure how to broach the subject. Or even if she should.

"I …" she began, cleared her throat, then started again. "I'd like to learn a wee bit more about that kissin' business," she said.

Aidan stopped abruptly in his tracks and turned to stare at her with incredulous blue eyes before narrowing his gaze and shaking his head. "Ye dinnae ken what yer askin'. If I start, I willnae be able to stop."

"Mayhap I dinnae want ye to stop," she said breathlessly, surprised at her own daring.

When he just stood there, watching her as if he didn't trust her words, Tillie's curiosity overpowered her nervousness. She moved until she was just in front of him, stood on the tips of her toes, and pressed her mouth softly against his.

Aidan's whole body jerked and he just stood there for a moment. Tillie was afraid she'd disgusted him by being too forward and started to pull back. His lips came to life and he kissed her. Not the soft innocent touch that she had pressed to his mouth. This was more earthy and captivating.

Tillie moaned against his mouth and then gasped when he slid his tongue inside. The kiss was masterful. Passionate. More than she ever dreamed a kiss could be.

She was so caught up in the kiss, the feel of his tongue sliding against hers, that it took a moment to realize Aidan had removed her dress – and she had helped, as if in a dream.

Aidan took a step back, his eyes roaming from her head to toes, and back again. He paid special attention to her breasts and the juncture between her legs, causing goosebumps of awareness popping up all over her skin.

"Ye are bonny," he breathed, and she was surprised at the huskiness in his voice.

Tillie's face flamed with nervous embarrassment. She stood there, full of anxious excitement, and let him look his fill. Her arms fluttered up a couple of times, as if she was going to cross them over her chest, but she pressed them down to her sides instead.

"Are ye … are ye goin' to remove yer clothes too?" she asked.

Tillie couldn't believe she was being so bold. All she knew was that he had awakened something in her. Something dangerous and tempting and she wanted to know more. She wanted to experience more.

Aidan groaned and briefly closed his eyes at her innocent question. "Are ye sure about this, Tillie?"

She raised her chin defiantly. "If ye keep askin' me, I willnae be."

He chuckled, then stripped his shirt off over his head. Her eyes dropped to his chest and widened with appreciation. One of her trembling hands came up and fluttered near his chest. Her bare fingers reached out and traced the lines across his shoulders, down over his muscles. His skin was much smoother than she'd expected. Underneath, though, was all hard and strong. The contradiction was mesmerizing. But when she reached the waist of his trews, Aidan put a hand over hers to still its movement.

She raised her gaze to his, a question in them. With one hand still covering hers, he raised his other and gently squeezed her nipple through her chemise. Tillie startled at the pain-pleasure and then moaned when his thumb flicked the small, hard nub.

Leaning over, he kissed her neck, trailing hot, wet kisses up the sides and then nibbling on her earlobe. While he distracted her with that, Aidan moved her hand that had been at the waist of his trews slowly up his stomach.

"Oh!" she gasped, then squirmed in his arms, trying to push her breast further into his grip.

Leaning back, Aidan looked down into her passion-glazed green eyes.

"If I had ken …" Tillie broke off with a sigh, then shook her head. "Why have ye not consummated our marriage afore this?"

Where did that question come from? Tillie wondered with a bit of dismay. She hadn't even realized she'd been thinking it until she heard the words spill out of her mouth.

"Ye were cryin'," he answered, meeting her gaze steadily.

"'Twas stupid," she said. She looked down where his hand covered hers and she wiggled her fingers between his bare skin and his trews. Aidan sucked his breath in sharply. "Had I ken about this pleasure, well mayhap I wouldnae had been so silly."

Aidan released her hand slowly, then stood there while her fingers explored his lower belly.

"And now?" he croaked out. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Ye dinnae fear the marriage bed now?"

She nodded. "Aye, I do, but I am more curious than anythin'."

And she was. Her body felt like it was straining for something just out of reach, and she instinctively knew that Aidan could help her discover that mystery.

His body trembled and she looked at him curiously, too innocent to understand that he was fighting to hold on to his control. He picked her up, laughing at her surprised squawk, and took her to the bed. She laughed when he dropped her on the mattress. He'd held her just a couple of inches above the mattress, so she didn't have far to fall. Her body still bounced slightly and his eyes were drawn to the way her breasts bounced with the movement.

He climbed over her until he straddled her hips, then, keeping his gaze on hers, gently peeled off her chemise until she was laid bare beneath him. Tillie flinched slightly. She'd never been naked in front of a man before, but the way he looked at her, with lust darkening his gaze, took some of the embarrassment away.

"Yer curiosity could be a dangerous thin'," Aidan growled low as he stared at the body revealed to him.

"So I've been told," she gasped.

Aidan had replaced his gaze with his hands and now his rough, calloused fingers trailed every inch of her. When he reached the juncture of her thighs, Tillie squirmed and tried to cover herself, but he was having none of that.

"Let me," he said softly, imploringly. "If ye dinnae like it, tell me to stop."

After a minute, Tillie nodded and slowly removed her hands, giving Aidan an unobstructed view of her lower body again. He traced the soft brown feminine hairs with his fingers, then carefully slipped them between her folds. She gasped and nearly sprung up into a sitting position, then slowly lowered herself.

Smiling, Aidan continued his exploration. He tested her entrance, and Tillie saw stars. When he slipped a finger inside her, Tillie's hips came off the bed. Her head arched back, showing her slender throat, and her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

"I cannae wait any longer," he rasped then stood and quickly shed his trews.

Tillie opened her eyes and her gaze dropped to his member. It was quite large. She hadn't realized men's parts could grow so much. Sure, she'd seen the animals around the keep rut and knew the basics. She'd known the males' members had to grow to fit with the females' parts, but she hadn't realized men were the same. It didn't frighten her though. She stared at it with appreciation and curiosity, wondering briefly if it hurt to stretch like that.

Aidan climbed atop her then paused. "What about bairns?"

Startled out of her visual exploration, she blinked up at him. "What about them?"

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for a brief second. "Ye do realize that should we finish this, ye could become with child."

Her whole body stiffened but then she relaxed slightly, a small smile pulling at her swollen lips.

"Of course I ken how bairns are made," she gently chastised him. She bit her bottom lip. Sighing again – he seemed to do that a lot — he started to move off her, but she wrapped her arms around his back and held him in place. Tillie wasn't ready to give up quite yet.

Reality started to intrude then. Bairns . She had been so terrified of having children when she'd wed Aidan. She'd seen her cousins and other family members with their children and how they'd given up any of their dreams to become parents. Their entire lives were tied to taking care of their young.

Tillie didn't really have big dreams, but she'd known most of her years that she wanted more out of life than to just be a vessel to produce and raise children. Someday, she'd like to travel. There were so many places she'd like to visit and sketch. How could she do that with a handful of children?

Yet somehow, laying here with Aidan atop her, her mouth swollen and tingling from his passionate kisses, those concerns were not as great. Besides, surely it took more than one time to get with child. She'd heard women gossip about the marriage act. Some did not like it, but some talked about how their husbands were always carting them off to the bedchamber. They'd laughed and seemed happy about it, and if one could get pregnant every time they shared a bed with their husbands, then those ladies would have more than a couple of children.

Tillie inwardly nodded at her logic. It made perfect sense to her. Besides, wasn't it her duty to consummate the marriage? It wouldn't be legal until they did.

Tillie smiled. She had logically given herself permission to do this without any worry. Besides, the way he made her feel … well, she wanted more of it.

"I want this, Aidan," she said softly. Honestly.

He studied her expression, as if trying to tell if she was being true. He must have believed her because he kissed her neck, throat, and jaw, then moved to her lips and took her mouth in a demanding kiss. She met the thrusts of his tongue with a little hesitancy and inexperience, but grew bolder as confidence and desire built within her.

Aidan chose that moment to sink inside her body. She gasped into his mouth, her eyes flying open in surprise. She bucked against him. The pain was not something she had expected. Sure, she'd been told there would be pain when a husband broke the virgin barrier, but she'd been so lost in the pleasure of it all that she'd forgotten that part.

"'Tis sorry I am, Tillie," he said softly. "The first time is painful for a lass, but ‘twill be better from now on."

"Are ye sure?" she asked doubtfully.

As an answer, Aidan smiled and slowly withdrew himself from her body until only the tip of his member was still inside. Her eyes widened, and then grew even larger when he slowly sank to the hilt inside her.

"Och…" she gasped and intuitively wrapped her legs around his hips. "'Tis wicked!"

Aidan chuckled. "Wicked good or wicked bad?"

"Good," she said on a moan as he increased his pace. With her legs squeezed around his waist, Tillie lifted her hips to meet his thrusts.

Aidan picked up the pace. Leaning down, he bowed his back and took her nipple in his mouth. He licked and nipped at it, then blew on the distended pebble to sooth any hurt in case his nibbles had been too harsh. She gasped and bowed her back, crying out with her pleasure.

Pressure wound and built in her lower belly. That sense of being just out of reach of something magical was even stronger. And then suddenly, she found it. Tillie gasped, her whole body stiffening while her inner muscles spasmed. Pleasure exploded all around her, within her. A scream burst from her lungs, the sound echoing in their chamber as wave after wave of the most intense pleasure consumed her. An instant later, Aidan groaned and his thrusts became harder, deeper, prolonging her release.

When he stiffened and groaned, she felt his member pulse inside her and realized he'd found his pleasure, too. She smiled, her eyes closed, as she fought to catch her breath.

"That was …" she gasped … "I never ken," she finished.

Aidan chuckled.

Careful to keep his weight on his arms, Aidan laid atop Tillie, still inside her while they fought to catch their breath.

"'Tis the best kept secret among mothers," he chuckled, then carefully rolled off her. "If their daughters ken about the delights in the marriage bed, they may not wait until they take their vows."

Tillie laughed softly. "Aye. Ye're probably correct."

He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her back flush with his chest, his knees curved along the inside of hers. Tillie marveled at how it felt to be held so intimately, every part of her body touching his. Like she was wrapped inside a warm butterfly cocoon, soft and protected.

"A nap," he muttered, his voice sounding tired. "Just rest me eyes afore supper."

A second later his soft snores filled the chamber. Tillie smiled, feeling more content than she ever had in her life.