Chapter 21

“Oh, I cannot stand him!” Grace flung herself toward Eleanor and Tabitha.

The two women had taken refuge in the corner of one of the smaller assembly rooms. Eleanor was seated, evidently needing the rest, with Tabitha keeping her company beside her.

“Grace, I’m so sorry.” Tabitha looked almost in tears out of worry. “To think you are married to such a beastly man who causes you such pain.”

“Beastly?” Eleanor’s eyes flashed with sudden anger as Grace threw herself into the seat beside Eleanor. Whatever was going on in Eleanor’s mind at the insult, she managed to restrain herself from barking back at Tabitha. “Could you do me a favor, Tabitha. Could you give us some privacy? I need to speak to Grace alone for a minute, please.”

“Of course.” Tabitha stood. She offered a comforting squeeze to Grace’s shoulder then left.

Grace watched her go, seeing that at the other end of the room, Tabitha was greeted by Grace’s mother.

Grace hadn’t even seen that Althea was here tonight. She realized in shock that her own mother hadn’t even bothered to come and greet her.

“My brother is no beast,” Eleanor said with fierce protection in her tone as she turned to face Grace.

“I’m not the one who described him as such,” Grace hastened to remind her. “Though I have a few choice words I could describe him with now.”

Eleanor looked sorrier than anything else, shaking her head in sadness for Grace’s situation.

“I know he’s a difficult man,” she said softly. “He has never been the easiest of men, but he’s had hardships of his own to deal with. Hardships that have made him into the man he is today.”

“What hardships?” Grace asked, but Eleanor didn’t say. She merely winced. Grace sighed, realizing that despite their close friendship, Eleanor and Philip’s sibling bond ran very deep indeed. Eleanor would not betray his trust. “You are both admirable in your protection of him and infuriating in equal measure.”

“I know.” Eleanor sighed with the words. “I wasn’t expecting Philip to come up as he did so. To see him so possessive of you? Outlandish! Quite incredible.”

“Possessive indeed. How about dominating? Controlling?” Grace hissed angrily. “I will not be controlled by him, Eleanor.”

“Then don’t be.” Eleanor smiled with victory. “You’re too free spirited to ever let a man control you anyway.”

“Why on earth does he have to be so demanding all the time?”

“He can be demanding.” Eleanor’s expression cracked into a grimace. “It’s his way. He especially seems to me to be more demanding when he’s trying to protect people around him. It’s how that protection comes out of him.”

“Hmm.” It was Grace’s non-committal reply. As far as she was concerned, Philip was a man who was often protecting himself.

He had married her to save her reputation, yes, but wasn’t he also saving his own? He focused so much on propriety that his own rescue was probably the prominent thought in his mind.

“He may be a demanding man, but I promise you this.” Eleanor leaned toward her, conspiratorially. “He has a good heart, deep down. He just hides it well. He hides it beneath reserve and —”

“Demands?” Grace finished for her to which Eleanor nodded.

At that moment, Grace wasn’t convinced about the state of Philip’s heart.

She had believed him to be a good man, for he had married her when her mother did not believe he would. She knew, too, that Eleanor loved him dearly, that he must have proved himself worthy of that love somewhere along the line, but right now? She had little evidence of goodness.

She’d been bedded then ignored and told promptly that he wanted nothing to do with her.

“I feel awful,” Grace whispered. She looked again to her mother across the room, who was now introducing Tabitha to every eligible gentleman in sight. Althea gazed at Tabitha with adoring eyes. “I suppose it’s no surprise really that he wants little to do with me, is it?”

“I beg your pardon?” Eleanor asked. “The possessive man I just witnessed wasn’t someone who wanted nothing to do with you, Grace.”

Yet Grace was scarcely listening. She had a feeling that possessiveness was really just Philip’s desire to be in control and had little to do with her at all.

As my mother always told me, I am not worthy of a man’s love, affection, or even respect, am I?

Grace slumped in her seat and looked down at the burgundy gown, feeling now that it was a grave mistake to try and get Philip’s attention at all.

“Speak of the devil,” Eleanor whispered, elbowing Grace to get her attention.

“What?” Grace looked up.

“The devil is walking this way.” Eleanor pointed across the room.

Philip was indeed walking toward them. Well, not so much walking, as stalking. There was great purpose and even anger in his stride as he made his way through the crowds toward them.

“I’m beginning to think he is a devil,” Grace whispered.

After all, was the devil not supposed to be seductive? To lead a woman into doing such things as she had done the night before?

“Philip, you look happy,” Eleanor declared with full irony as he reached their sides, breathing so fast his nostrils were practically flaring. “Are you enjoying the assembly?”

“Not in the slightest.” His eyes shot to Grace. “I’m ready to leave.”

Grace flinched. She looked at Eleanor, who looked equally shocked, then turned back to face Philip.

“Well, I’m not ready. We have only been here half an hour, at most.”

“We’re leaving anyway.” He stepped toward her and offered his hand. Grace glowered at that hand. Eleanor wasn’t the only one watching the pair of them. Other curious eyes were watching from a distance. Whatever Grace did next, she feared she could end up in a scandal sheet the next day. “Or are you going to defy me, wife?”

* * *

The carriage came to a sudden halt. Philip reached for the door and flung it open, leaving Grace behind, open mouthed.

She stared after him then scrambled to follow.

They’d had a very silent ride. Neither of them had said a word to the other, neither had they looked at each other, choosing instead to stare out of their respective windows.

As Philip marched up the gravel path toward the house, Grace ran to follow. She tripped on the hem of her gown and nearly went flying in the gravel. She barely managed to catch herself in time. When she stood straight, she saw that her trip had made Philip freeze in the doorway.

He’d looked ready to jump back toward her, to catch her, but then she figured that was all in her imagination, for he turned and marched into the house without another word.

I cannot continue like this. I refuse to!

She cast one glance back at the staff, who were now towing the carriage toward the stables, then followed Philip into the house. He didn’t head to his chamber but headed along the downstairs corridor.

She followed him, snatching off her pelisse and throwing it across the banister as she passed, suddenly feeling hot all over with her anger. She came face to face with his shut study door. Grabbing the handle fast, she turned it and stepped inside.

He was shrugging off his tailcoat, folding it up incredibly neatly as he placed it across the back of a chair though his movements were sharp. Clearly, he was as enraged as she was.

“How could you?” she cried, her hand on the door.

He didn’t even look back at her. He walked around his desk and reached for a carafe of whisky. He poured out a glass for himself as she shut the door behind her.

“Why did we have to leave? I was having fun.”

He didn’t answer. He knocked the whisky down his throat instead.

“I don’t understand you.” She walked toward his desk, planting her hands down on the surface as he lowered the glass, looking at her at last. “You asked many things of me in your rules. So far, I have fulfilled my side of the bargain.”

“What?” he asked, clearly caught off guard by her words.

“I have behaved as properly as I know how to do. I have tried everything to avoid appearing in the scandal sheets. Tonight, in order not to cause a scene, I even left when you wished us to. I have held up my end of this deal, so why haven’t you held up yours?” She thrust an accusing finger toward him. “You promised me freedom. Yet at the end of our first full day being married, you take that freedom away.”

She couldn’t decipher his look. All she knew was that there was fury behind it.

“All you have done is order me around. You’ve not let me do as I wished to this evening.” She pushed on, determined for him to listen to what she had to say whether he was going to reply or not.

“I hardly thought you’d care.”

“What does that mean?”

“You are so often staring out of the windows at balls, longing to be outside, I hardly thought you’d care leaving an assembly early, did I?” he challenged sharply as he topped up his whisky glass.

Wrongfooted, Grace didn’t reply right away. She shifted her weight between her feet, moving her hands to her hips.

When did Philip even notice that?

It was true. It was often what she did. Yet this meant that Philip had noticed her at balls and assemblies before. When she had thought she was barely like a fly on the wall when beside him, beneath his notice, he had noticed her after all. He had even deduced something of her character.

“You normally look suffocated at such events,” he said, gulping from his whisky again.

“I do.” She nodded tartly. “I don’t pretend they are my favorite things to attend, but I love my friends. I love being with them, and tonight, you took me away from them. You chose to take me away from them. How could you do that?”

“For God’s sake, Grace. I can’t have this argument anymore.” He gulped from the whisky and tried to walk away from her. He moved toward the mantelpiece, turning his back to her.

“No. We will continue to have this argument. Order me around as much as you like, but understand this right now — I will not adhere to every single one of your demands, Philip. I am your wife, not your puppet on a string —”

“We had to leave, Grace.” He turned back and threw the words at her. “All right? Just leave it as that. Tonight alone, we had to leave.”

“Why? Why on earth did we have to leave so soon?”

He placed the glass down on the mantelpiece and turned to her with rage.

“Because I could not stand to look at you any longer!”

Grace stepped back. Horrified, she felt trodden on like a mouse. Her hands rose, and she covered her own stomach, as if she could somehow protect her gut, stop that feeling of inadequacy before it could bleed much further outward. She failed, it overtook her body, and before she knew what was happening, her eyes prickled with unshed tears.

“I had no idea I embarrassed you to this great an extent,” she said in challenge. She raised her chin higher, doing her best to hide with her blinking that he had hurt her this much.

“Embarrassed?” He jerked his head around to face her. He actually laughed though it was completely humorless. “I was the one who was in danger of embarrassing us.”

“What?” she asked, certain she had not heard him right.

What can he possibly mean by that?

“For Christ’s sake, Grace.” He was marching toward her. “Another minute at that assembly, and I would have ripped this bloody gown off you in front of everyone.”