Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

The Tension Builds

T he Duke had been at the breakfast table for half an hour before Leah joined him. Her eyes were red, but he couldn't quite tell if it was from lack of sleep or from crying. He looked up at her as she entered and smiled. She returned the smile.

Leah sat down, and the maid served her tea immediately.

"How did you sleep?" the Duke asked.

"I slept well, thank you," Leah said.

It sounded like a lie.

"I apologize for not coming to bed. My work kept me up, and I didn't want to disturb you. I found another bedroom and slept in there."

"That is quite alright," Leah said. "Thank you for being so considerate."

Leah picked up a slice of bread and spread butter before marmalade was added to it. She looked at the breakfast table as she took a bite. Solomon watched her. She was not wearing her nightgown for breakfast, but he could only imagine her in it. He could only imagine her out of it also.

Why would I deny myself of that pleasure? Because I am too stubborn for my own good? Because it is her duty and nothing more?

Leah was beautiful. Even with her red eyes and smudge of marmalade on the corner of her mouth, she had the Duke's admiration. He had rejected her the previous night, and he regretted it. He wanted her, and he should have taken her right then and there in the study. Instead, he had been stubborn because she did not want to be married to him.

What is it I truly want? Do I want her to love me so I can love her? I saw her face at our wedding. She does not love me!

Solomon looked over at his wife, and it felt like his heart was beginning to beat for the very first time. She wore a smile of pure joy, a complete contrast to how she was the previous day.

Solomon smiled back at her, and when he did, she put her bread down on the plate.

"I did not talk to you about this yesterday, but we have been invited to Bridget's engagement party. She is very excited about it, and the whole family will be there. It will be so much fun."

The Duke had hoped her smile was directed at him, but it was another disappointment.

"We will go, of course," he replied.

"Thank you, Solomon. I know my father will be especially happy to see you again. You should have seen his face on the day Frederick asked for Bridget's hand. He spoke about how proud he was that Bridget and I were marrying such fine men. And you should have seen Bridget's face. I have never seen someone so happy in my life, and it was quite contagious. I know we are marrying due to convenience, but it makes it all worthwhile. To make someone else happy is a special thing, and I must thank you for that, Solomon. You have helped me to make many people happy, and I know you have made many people happy, too. Your mother and brother and sister, along with my family. There is something special about bringing such joy to another."

"You are right, there is," Solomon replied. "I am glad I can make so many people happy."

Yet, we can't make each other happy, can we? That is clear to me now, and I must be thankful that I have that clarity.

He watched her again as she ate, and she seemed to become more beautiful by the day. He had made tough decisions since his father passed, and he had overcome many great challenges. He considered whether it was the challenge that made him feel as he did. He could not have her, so did that make him want her more? Was he falling in love with her, or did he want a taste of a forbidden fruit?

It did not matter what it was; her feelings were clear. She had married him for her sister—that much was clear. He had not seen her happier since meeting her than she was when mirroring her sister's joy. It brought him happiness, too. And when she had come to find him the previous night, she might have wanted to experience the pleasure he would bring her, but there was no deeper connection. It was her duty.

What do I care about a deeper connection? I have never wanted a deeper connection with anyone and have been happy for years to have a different woman in my bed every month.

Yet, he was still unconcerned with any other woman. He could have Leah in his bed any time he wanted, so he had no need for a mistress of any sort. He didn't need to go out drinking, either. When he spoke with Leah, he could make sense of what he was feeling.

I have to set her free of this.

The thought was clear. She would only become more miserable if he kept her caged. The wedding had happened and could not be undone, but there didn't need to be any more pretending.

"This will be our last time," the Duke said.

"Our last time?"

"At the engagement party," Solomon clarified. "We will pretend with our families one more time, and then we won't need to after that. We have done what we set out to do, and we don't need to pretend anymore."

"Oh, to be in love with each other." Leah considered it for a moment. "Yes, you are right. We don't even have to go to any events together if we don't want to. The deal is done. You have your money, and my sister will be married. And your sister will debut, and we will all live happily ever after."

"You sound bitter," Solomon said.

"I'm not," Leah said calmly. "I got a little carried away, but I only wanted to clarify where we stand and what we get out of this."

"I know you hate the pretending, and that is why I won't subject you to it more than we need to. I hate the pretending, too. One more time, and then we can live separately at my estate."

Leah froze with a piece of smoked fish halfway to her mouth. "Separately?"

"Then you can do as you please. Isn't that what you want?" the Duke asked.

Leah slowly brought the kipper to her mouth and chewed on it. She looked over at the Duke. "Yes, that is what we agreed upon. Is that what you want, Solomon?"

No, it is not what I want, but I told you already that I will not force you to do anything you don't want to do.

"Yes, that is what I want. It is what is for the best. I must thank you again for what you have done for me. And how you have done it all with such grace. And there were some very fun moments in there, too."

Leah allowed a small smile to come to her lips, and there was a glimmer in her eyes.

"Some moments I have enjoyed very much, and we will have many more of those moments even if we are living apart," the Duke added. "And we will start a family, of course. And your dowry has helped undo the pain my father has caused. For that, I will be ever thankful. You should not feel indebted to me because you have helped me immeasurably, and you should be free of all obligations because of that. You will give me an heir, but that is all I ask."

"That is more than fair," Leah said. "You have done a lot for me, too, and I appreciate it. It has been fun in a lot of ways to reach this point, and I know I will have a good life with you. Thank you for considering my feelings as you have."

"You are welcome," the Duke said.

He didn't like how they spoke to each other. It was far too formal and polite. He would have preferred it if they were arguing as they had when they first met, but that part of their relationship was gone.

The smile left Leah's face as she went back to her breakfast. The same sadness returned to her expression as she had on their wedding day. He wanted to rekindle the joy she'd had when talking of her sister's engagement party, but it was not in his power.

He wanted some happiness for himself, but that scared him. He pushed his feelings down. He could see it on her face that Leah could not have what she wanted in life, and he could not have what he wanted in life, but they were stuck with each other.

"One more time to pretend," Leah said to no one. "One more time to pretend, and then we go our separate ways."

"Yes," Solomon said. "That is how it has to be."