Chapter 5

Lilian tried to put the incident out of her mind. She was sure Matthew did the same. Neither of them brought up the late-night trip again.

And yet his words were still echoing in her head the next day as she sat in the parlor with her father.

"Tell me how your evenings have been?" he asked from his spot in a padded armchair. "Have any gentlemen been lucky enough to catch your eye?"

She forced a smile. "Not yet, Father."

He hummed. "I'm sure someone will soon. Did your mother tell you about your agenda for the week yet?"

"Yes, we're going to balls on three different nights with only one day between!" She bit back the urge to say that it felt like too much. That it felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Oh! How lucky for you. I remember being like you, always having the energy to go. People thought I would slow down once I got married, but honestly, it only made me more insatiable because then I could dance with your mother all night." He sighed. "If only I were there—I wish I could help make introductions and all that. Have you been acquainted with the Rodchester family? Lord Rodchester and I go way back, you know!"

"Yes, I believe you've mentioned him a few times."

"Doesn't he have a son around your age?"

"He's about five years older and just announced his engagement last week."

"I see," he sighed. "A shame."

A few moments later, Rachel came in. "Lilian, are you ready? We need to stop by the seamstress. I wanted to order another gown for you."

"Of course." Lilian smiled.

She got to her feet and followed her to the carriage, a pep in her step that she found she often lacked lately.

"That sure seemed to cheer you up." Her mother laughed.

"What?"

"It looked like you were getting awfully discouraged in there until the mention of going to the seamstress."

"It's nothing," Lilian quickly assured her. "I just thought at least I'd have someone courting me by now."

"Oh, Lilian," Rachel sighed. "I know it feels like it's been a long time, but you're hardly the first person to need time to meet someone. Just be patient."

Lilian nodded, wanting nothing more than for the conversation to end. Mercifully, it did. Neither of them said much else until they were inside the dressmaker's shop.

The second they walked through the doors, the shop fell silent. Lilian glanced at her mother, but the woman didn't seem to notice, already absorbed in a conversation with the woman behind the counter.

Lilian tried to put it out of her mind, to focus on the fitting, but she couldn't ignore the eerie quiet.

"Lilian." Her mother's voice snapped her to attention where she stood on the small platform while the seamstress held up fabric samples. "Were you even listening?"

"Sorry, Mother." Lilian shook her head. "What did you ask?"

Rachel sighed. "I asked what color you liked better, the green or the yellow."

"Oh." Lilian looked between the fabric samples. "Remind me what decoration it was going to go with?"

"Silver net lace."

She frowned. "I don't think either of them would look right with silver. The green would look lovely with gold, but silver…" She thought for a moment. "Do you perhaps have a lavender or a pale blue?"

Rachel clicked her tongue. "You already have so many blue gowns."

"Lavender, then."

The seamstress nodded. "Let me see what I have."

Lilian took the opportunity to glance around. She was surprised to see the shop had emptied out. Despite the place having been crowded when they arrived, they were now the only ones inside.

Lilian didn't think she'd ever seen the place so empty.

Still, she kept her thoughts to herself for the moment. While they were finishing up, the bell over the door chimed. Liliam turned to see a mother and her three daughters enter the shop. When they did, they fell silent for a moment before they began whispering amongst themselves.

Lilian tried to ignore them, but that was easier said than done, especially when they started shooting her dirty looks. She took a deep breath. Maybe they just thought she was taking too long and they were getting impatient, or at least that was what she told herself.

She expected her mother to comment on it in the carriage, but she didn't. Lilian wasn't sure if it was because her mother hadn't noticed or because she didn't want to talk about it.

It was another night, which meant another ball. Lilian was dressed in a cream gown with pale gold roses embroidered over the narrow skirt. It was a peaceful evening so far, as her dance card was surprisingly empty.

On the one hand, she was relieved. It was nice to have a night when she could just relax without having to worry about being charming. Usually, she only had one or two openings. Not this time, however.

As she stood by herself, Lilian couldn't help but frown. Lady Beatrice sauntered over to her with an overly polite smile.

"How has your evening been so far, Miss Cooke?" she asked.

"It has been positively lovely." Lilian plastered on a smile. "How has yours been?"

"My poor feet are so tired, I must be dancing through the soles of my new slippers." Lady Beatrice gave a mean-spirited laugh. "How are your feet feeling? I feel as though I haven't seen you on the floor all evening!"

"Yes, I needed a slow night. This seemed like a good chance for one."

"If you were so tired, perhaps you should have just stayed home."

"And missed the chance to see your wonderful disposition?"

Beatrice just smiled. "How sweet of you. Now you have. I need to go find my next partner. I hope you have a pleasant evening."

Alone once again, Lilian let out a long sigh. That could have gone worse. Still, she knew she couldn't just stand by the wall alone. People would talk, and her family didn't need that now.

Head held high, she made her way through the ballroom. Yet every time she got close to her friends, they seemed to disappear into the crowd just before she arrived.

Finally, she approached a mutual acquaintance from behind.

"I just can't believe Miss Cooke would engage in such scandalous behavior!"

What on earth!

Filled with horror, Lilian spun on her heels and walked away as fast as she could politely get away with. She needed to find Matthew. Maybe he would know what was going on.

It didn't take her long to find him, a deep frown on his face.

"Matthew," she whispered, leaning close to him, "have you heard what people are saying about me?"

"I'm sad to say I have."

"Well then, could you tell me?"

He gave a tight smile. "It's nothing for you to worry about. Pay them no mind."

"Then why do you look so concerned?"

"I'm not. You simply caught me at a bad moment."

"I don't believe you!" Her brown eyes darted around the ballroom, desperate for any clue as to what was going on.

Then she met a pair of angry blue eyes, and her blood ran cold.

The man from the other night stormed over to them, the crowd parting for him. He didn't stop until he was standing near Lilian.

He leaned in and in an angry whisper said, "I need to speak with you, alone. Immediately."

Matthew snarled next to her. "How dare you approach her like this!"

Before Lilian could react, Matthew's hand flew through the air, connecting with the man's eye, and he stumbled back with a grunt.

She gasped. "Matthew!"

"I'm taking you to the carriage. I'll have a servant grab Mother. It's time we find better company."

Lilian bit back her questions as he rushed her out the door. Enough people were already staring. There was no point in giving them more reason.

When they were in the carriage, on the way home, Lilian glanced between them. "Do either of you want to tell me what's going on?"

The pair shared a glance before Rachel spoke. "It would seem there is a rumor going around about you and Pembroke. People are saying the pair of you were seen alone at night. Unchaperoned."

"What? Pembroke? Who is Pembroke?" Lilian's blood ran cold.

"Frederic Lockhart, the Duke of Pembroke, the man I just punched in the face. Now, be honest with me, is there any truth to this?"

Lilian hesitated. She needed to word this next part carefully. "There was a night I went for a walk and lost my way. We ran into one another, and he walked me home, but it was nothing untoward!"

Rachel inhaled a sharp breath. "Goodness, Lilian! How could you be so foolish?! Why would you go out for a walk alone at all?! That is just asking for trouble. I thought I taught you better than that!"

Lilian's eyes burned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to get some fresh air."

"Lilian, this could ruin you. Do you have any idea the damage you have done to not only yourself and your prospects, but the whole family? I'm just glad you don't have a little sister. I shudder to think of how you could have tainted her reputation!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Rachel let out a long sigh, anger seeming to drain from her, worry taking its place. "It's going to be all right. I shouldn't have raised my voice. We can weather this storm. The pair of you simply need to avoid one another. Give people time to move on."

"And that will help?"

"It's the only thing we can do. Just keep your distance, don't give people a reason to talk. If there's a gentleman you feel a connection with, lean into it. Try and turn it into something more. Whatever you do, just stay far away from him. Pretend you've never met before."

"Yes, Mother." Lilian looked away. "Whatever you think is best."

Matthew tried to meet her gaze. She could see the question there, seeking confirmation that she was talking about that night.

"What should we tell Father?" She chewed on her lip.

"You should tell him nothing! His heart is too delicate. He could never handle this scandal. All we can do is hope it passes before he notices anything is amiss. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mother," the two echoed.

No one said much for the remainder of the drive back. What was there to say? Lilian made a mistake. Her family was humiliated.

All because she got lost.

Shame burned through her veins.