Chapter 17

Making Changes

Holly scurried down the stairs while it felt like most of the castle was asleep. She did not want to come out of her room after the package she had received the previous day, but the Laird drew her out.

It was not exactly him, but the desire to beat him to the breakfast room after their banter about it. She had mixed feelings about the danger that was present when she was in the castle and Ragnall was close by, but her feelings about being the first down to breakfast were firm.

As she approached, she could see no one in the breakfast room. There were place settings with plates and cutlery, and a maid was adding fresh flowers to the center of the table, but the room looked empty.

Holly strode in victorious.

“Good mornin’,” the Laird intoned as she entered. He was sitting off to the side.

Holly whirled around in surprise and became extremely irritated when she saw the smug look on his face.

“I’ve been waitin’ for ye,” he drawled.

It annoyed her more that he did not gloat about being there first, even though they both knew he had won.

Ye’ve won the first round! This is only a small battle in the bigger war!

“Aye, have ye?” Holly asked.

“Please, come and sit,” Ragnall said, indicating the chair beside him.

He nodded to the maid, and she poured some hot tea into a cup, placing it down on the place setting beside him.

“How did ye sleep?” he asked.

Holly sat down beside him. “Not too well,” she replied.

She might have made a joke about that being the reason she was down later, but she didn’t feel much like making jokes seeing the circumstances. He didn’t say anything of the sort either.

“Some tea and breakfast will help,” the Laird said. “I didnae sleep all that well either.”

“It makes me feel better that we can have breakfast together,” Holly admitted. “Thank ye for doing this for me.”

“It turns out that it wasnae all that hard, after all. I’ve nae shared breakfast with many over the past years, but I enjoy yer company. It will give us some time to get to ken each other.”

“It will,” Holly agreed. “I feel like I have gotten to ken ye a lot since I came here, and I am glad for it.”

“So, it only seems fair that I get to ken more about ye,” Ragnall said. “Now, afore we get to that, I didnae ken what ye might like for breakfast, so I ordered some of everythin’. Porridge, bread and cheese, smoked fish, eggs and ham, preserves, and cream. If ye need anythin’ more, I can ask the kitchens, but I think Mirren might kill me if I ask more of her this mornin’.”

Holly smiled. She was not able to laugh just yet, with the image of the dead rats still playing on her mind, but she was happier already to be in her husband’s company.

“It all sounds wonderful.” She beamed. “I’ll start with some porridge and then maybe some fish. So, what do ye want to ken about me?”

“Ye mentioned yer maither has passed,” the Laird began. “How did that happen? Laird Gallacher never mentioned it to me.”

“He doesnae mention it to many people,” Holly admitted. “He doesnae mention many things of importance to anyone, it would seem.” Even if her father had told her about Fraser before the marriage, she would never have imagined it would be as severe as it was. “Lord help that man. I love me faither, but he doesnae do a lot to help himself. Still, he’s back on his feet thanks to ye.”

“I got a bargain,” the Laird teased.

Holly smiled again. “Me maither passed away givin’ birth to me youngest sister Daisy.”

“Ach, that’s a tragedy.” The Laird shook his head. “She would have grown up with nay maither, and ye must have barely kenned her.”

“I was eight when it happened.” Holly took a couple of spoonfuls of porridge before she continued. “I remember her a wee bit, but not much. It hit us all hard, but it hit me faither the most. I can understand that, but I cannae understand how much he let it get to him. He stopped being a faither, and he got into debt more and more. I was left to raise me sisters.”

“That must have been hard on ye,” the Laird noted.

Holly took a sip of sweet tea. “Aye, it was. Yet, it also wasnae. Raisin’ me sisters was a blessin’. I wouldnae trade that for the world. They are the most important thing to me in the world. I love them dearly and cannae wait to see them again.”

Ragnall was quiet. He spooned a little sugar into his tea and stirred it for some time. “I want ye to see them again, but ye cannae just yet.”

“I ken I cannae leave the castle to go and visit me faither or me sisters, but what if they came to visit here?”

“Nay,” Ragnall uttered.

Holly waited for him to say something more, but he remained silent. She knew it made sense for now, but she missed her family terribly. She loved them, and it hurt not to have them close. Still, that love told her that they would be in danger if they came to the castle. They would become another target for Fraser. If he could send rats to her, he could attack her sisters, and she could not put them in danger.

“I apologize,” Holly said. “I ken this isnae the time for them to come here or me to go there, but I miss me family.”

“Aye, I miss mine, too,” Ragnall murmured into his cup.

It felt like a low blow to Holly. Of course, she could not compare her troubles to his, but that did not mean they did not have troubles.

“I wanted to thank ye again for the necklace,” she said, fingering the peridot at her throat. “I have never received such a bonnie present.”

“I am glad ye like it.” Ragnall nodded.

“Perhaps we can practice with the dirk some more this afternoon,” she suggested, hoping to bring him out of his depression.

“Aye, that would be wise,” he agreed.

His tone was not as harsh, and she felt more at ease. He had dealt with Fraser for twelve years, and she had only dealt with it for a short time. She could see how that could get to someone. She could not feel self-pity. The Laird was unlikely angry at her. There was a lot going on.

Holly ate the last of her porridge and still felt hungry. She asked the maid for some smoked fish along with some bread (that she might have had a hand in making) and raspberry jam. The maid heaped smoked fish on her plate, and the sight of it made her mouth water.

“I wonder if the villagers from all around will start bringin’ ye sweets to gain yer favor,” Holly said.

The Laird looked across at her with a sly smile on his face. “I dinnae ken if I can go to the village again after that. It’s all I will ever hear for the rest of me life.”

“There are worse things to hear,” Holly pointed out.

“Aye, that is true. I did enjoy my time there. Perhaps we can go back again in a few days.”

“I would like that,” Holly said.

The Laird ordered for his teacup to be refilled, and he took one of the fresh pastries when they were brought into the breakfast room. Eric must have smelled them, as he entered the breakfast room right after them.

“Mornin’, Me Laird,” Eric greeted, before he sat down at the table. He stabbed a fork through three pieces of ham and scooped up two pastries with his other hand. He looked at Holly, a little embarrassed, as if seeing her there for the first time, then looked at the food in his hands, then back at her. “Mornin’, Me Lady.”

“Good mornin’, Eric,” she returned.

Eric took one more look at his hands before he rose from his chair and walked out of the room.

Holly couldn’t help it, she burst into giggles.

“That’s Eric,” the Laird drawled, as if that explained everything.

Holly didn’t care what the reason for his behavior was. It was the nicest he had been to her since she arrived at the castle, and she was thankful for it.

“I didnae ken what to expect when ye came to live here, but now that ye are so comfortable, it’s like a weight lifted off me shoulders,” Ragnall admitted. “The villagers are taken by ye, and everyone in the castle likes ye. I’ve enjoyed yer company, and I hope ye are settlin’ in fine.”

“I am,” Holly assured him.

“It will be another weight off me shoulders when I deal with Fraser, and ye can see yer sisters again. I ken I didnae care much about who me wife was back afore I married ye, but I do care that me wife is comfortable in me home. And I’m glad ye are me wife and not one of the lasses that I could have wed.”

“Oh, aye?” Holly said cheekily. “And who were these lasses who were linin’ up to marry ye, Ragnall?”

“I forget all of their names.” The Laird winced sheepishly. “I remember the queue stretched all the way around the castle. With that many women wantin’ to jump into me bed, ye cannae remember all of their names.”

“Well, thankfully, I remember the name of the one man who annoys me more than anyone else in the entire country.”

“Aye, and who might that be?” Ragnall arched an eyebrow. “Do I ken him?”

“Ye might,” Holly replied. “He goes by the name Ragnall White.”

“Ragnall White,” the Laird echoed, rolling the name around on his tongue like a sweet. “Aye, I have heard of him. Extremely handsome lad. They say his wit is as sharp as his blade.”

“Maybe some people say those things,” Holly said, trying not to laugh as they fell into an easy banter again. “I have heard much more than just that, but I cannae repeat the words at the breakfast table. However, I will admit that his handsomeness does come up a lot.”

Ragnall smiled as he looked down at his cup of tea.

His eyes lit up when he smiled, and some of his scars became more prominent, with his cheek creasing a little when he grinned. However, Holly found something beautiful there. She had been put off when she saw him for the first time, but only because she linked his scars to his ruthlessness. Now that she knew him better, she knew him to be troubled but good and loyal and trustworthy. The scars were a part of him, and that made them beautiful.

“Well, this lad ye ken sure sounds infuriatin’ in the best way possible,” Ragnall drawled.

“That’s yet to be seen,” Holly teased.

They both sipped on their tea in silence. Holly popped some of the smoked fish into her mouth, savoring the taste. It was so good that she had to finish the rest immediately. She spooned some jam onto the freshly baked bread and ate that after.

They sat together in silence, but there was an easiness between them. The maid remained by the door should she be needed, but for all intents and purposes, they were alone. Holly found some comfort in being alone with the Laird.

When she finished the last piece of the bread, she felt so stuffed that she might burst.

I wonder if me belly will be filled with somethin’ else soon.

She wanted to lie with her husband, that much she was sure of. Yet, there was still some fear. She was not afraid of him but afraid of the future. It was not only having Fraser out there, waiting to attack, but having a family. She knew she would have children sometime soon, but it was still unnerving.

She looked over at Ragnall again and studied his scars. She knew they covered some of his body but did not know how extensive they were. Still, she wanted to see them. She found beauty in the scars on his face, and she would find beauty in the scars on his body, too.

Her desire to feel the warmth of his body trumped everything else right now. She knew it would come soon, and it took away any fear of the future. It removed the danger from her mind.

She never thought she would find such ease in the company of the Laird.

“I have been thinkin’ a lot about the castle,” she admitted. “I ken it is a long time away, but we might host people here when Fraser is dealt with.”

Ragnall looked at his wife as he considered her suggestion. “I dinnae ken about that, but I will consider it.”

Holly was hopeful she could talk him round, and there was a lot of time to do so.

“Either way, we might think about makin’ some changes,” she continued. “It looks like the great hall hasnae been touched in some time, and I ken a few new artworks would really breathe some life into the place.”

“Nay,” Ragnall said quietly, not expanding on the single-word answer.

“I’m nae askin’ for much,” Holly pressed. “I’ll just change a few things here and there. Ye dinnae even have to be involved. Then, if we do host, we will be ready.”

“I said nay.” Ragnall slammed his fist down on the table, shaking the dishes and scaring her.

Before she could say anything, he got up and strode out of the breakfast room.

And just like that, the ease and comfort were gone.