Chapter 12

The Pain And The Past

Holly gasped as she woke up and brought her hands to her stomach. She sat up in the bed, and as soon as he did, the pain came back in another wave. She fell back, rolling into a fetal position and moaning loudly. It felt like someone had stabbed her in the stomach.

“Aah!” she gasped.

She tried to shout louder, but no sound came out of her mouth.

The pain subsided a little, but every time she opened her mouth, the pain came shooting back, stopping her from calling out. She looked into the darkness of her room, focusing only on her breathing. She breathed shallowly—any deeper, and the pain got worse.

Holly had to do something. She shuffled to the edge of the bed before rolling out of it. She fell to the floor with a thump and groaned again.

A second later, the door burst open, and a man stormed in with his sword drawn. He came for her, pointing his sword and shouting something.

He shouted again, but Holly could not hear what he said. She tried to cling onto consciousness, but it was impossible. The world faded into darkness as the man with the sword came at her.

Holly slowly opened her eyes and blinked as she tried to focus on her surroundings. She had no idea where she was, but she knew there was a man in the room with her. He rose from the chair beside her bed and brought a cup of water to her lips. He tipped it up, and she sipped some.

The thirst came flooding to her with the first sip, and she guzzled more. The man placed a hand on her head and then sat back in the chair. She heard him say something but couldn’t make out the words.

She took deep breaths. She remembered the pain in her stomach, and there was an ache there, but it did not feel like she had been stabbed anymore. It was not dark—there was a flickering light in the room. A lit candle.

The world around her finally came back into focus, and she turned her head to the side.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“It’s still night,” Ragnall replied.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Only a couple of hours since we found ye,” he replied.

“What happened?” Holly asked, remembering some of it.

“Ye fell from yer bed,” Ragnall said. “I had one of me men stationed outside of yer room in case somethin’ happened. He entered the room when he heard the noise, fearin’ someone had snuck in, and he found ye doubled over on the floor. Ye were complainin’ about pain in yer stomach. He shouted for help.”

“And ye came,” Holly breathed.

“Aye, I came runnin’. Ye were askin’ for Mirren when I arrived, but I wouldnae dare wake her at this time of night.” Ragnall smiled as he paused. “I had the healer come and take a look at ye. She couldnae find anythin’ wrong, but she wanted someone to watch over ye in case yer condition worsened.”

“And ye wanted to watch over me?” Holly asked.

“I wanted to make sure ye were safe. We still cannae rule out the possibility of poison. How are ye feelin’?”

“Better,” Holly admitted. “I woke up with such a stabbing pain—it was as if someone had stabbed me with a dagger. I could barely move or talk. I tried to shout, but the best I could do was fall out of bed. It’s still there, but nae as bad. I can speak again.”

“Good.” The Laird nodded.

“Can I have some more water?” Holly asked.

The Laird got up from his chair again and refilled the cup. He brought it to Holly and cradled her head this time. He brought the cup to her lips, and she downed it.

“Do ye really think I was poisoned?” she asked.

“I dinnae ken. The healer dinnae ken what caused the pain, but it’s goin’ away, and that’s a good thing. The best thing ye can do now is to get some rest. There’s still a few hours until mornin’, and I’ll stay here until then.”

Holly looked at him sitting in the chair, looking as regal as the King on his throne. He had a strong physique and was tall, and she wanted to reach out and touch him. Perhaps she would if she did not feel so weak. Perhaps she was delusional, with the poison running through her, and she was not feeling or thinking rationally.

The only thing she was sure of was that she was glad that he stayed by her side. She felt safe in the castle, especially if there was someone outside her door, but she felt safest when she was with her husband. He had chased off Fraser once, and she knew he could do it again.

Nay, nae chase him off this time, but kill him for what he did to the Laird.

“I want to ken what happened,” Holly said.

“To what?”

“To yer clan and Clan Sutherland,” Holly replied.

“Ye ken what happened,” Ragnall told her, his voice dropping. “He killed me family and most of me clan, and I killed his.”

“I want to ken it all,” Holly pressed. “Everyone else kens what happened, and I can see their pain. I am never goin’ to be one of ye if I cannae share that pain with ye. I’m yer wife. We might nae love each other, but I deserve to ken who ye are.”

“It’s nae a fairytale,” Ragnall warned her.

“I didnae expect it would be.” Holly turned her head and looked up at the ceiling. She had made her demands.

“It happened when I was twenty,” Ragnall began.

The words were simple, but they still sent a chill down Holly’s spine.

“The Sutherlands were our allies,” Ragnall continued. “They were our friends until they turned on us. Me faither was a good laird, just and fair, but it wasnae enough for them. They wanted power, and the devils seized it in the only way they kenned how. They waited until they were sure all me family and servants were in the castle, and then they sealed all the exits and set fire to the castle.”

“What?” Holly gasped. As she did, the pain reared up in her stomach again, and she placed her hands on the spot where it hurt the most. “I’m fine,” she said so he would not get up. “They set fire to this castle?”

“It was a dozen years ago now,” the Laird said. “Everythin’ inside was destroyed, but the walls held firm. Me faither tasked me with keepin’ me sister safe while he tried to find a way out. There was nowhere for us to go. I can still feel the heat from the flames.” He paused again as he remembered the past. “They stormed into the castle soon after. Once everyone was panicked enough, they stormed in through the main entrance, drivin’ everyone toward the other exits they opened. With people fleein’ beaten and burned, they were easy prey for the men waitin’ outside. It was a slaughter.”

“That’s horrible,” Holly muttered. “How could a clan turn on another clan like that?”

“That’s Clan Sutherland.” Ragnall sneered. “When I heard me faither scream, I kenned he had met his end, and if he had met his end, then me maither had met her end too. I tried to find a way out of there for me sister, but Fraser found us. He cornered us—him on one side, the fire on the other. I fought him and almost took him down, but another man arrived, and Fraser told him to kill me sister. I tried to stop him, but it was two against one, and I was already spent. The man cut me sister, and Fraser drove a dagger through her heart.”

Holly wanted to beg him to stop, but she had come this far, and she had to go all the way now.

“I gave one last push, but there were too many. If he had driven a dagger through me heart, it would have all been over, but he decided to kick me into the fire. I can still smell the burnin’ flesh—it isnae a thing I wish on me worst enemy, except for one. I dinnae ken how, but I found meself through the other side of the fire and in an empty hallway. I managed to escape, but not without paying the price. Me family lay dead behind me, and I was scarred forever.”

“Tell me about what ye did to him,” Holly demanded.

She wanted to hear about Fraser being hurt in return, and she wished him dead after what he had done to her husband.

“I did as he’s doin’ now,” Ragnall replied. “I went into hidin’. I dinnae ken if they thought I was dead or not, but they took our lands and our castle. The other clans were too afraid to retaliate. They shut their mouths and made alliances with Clan Sutherland in fear that the same tragedy would befall them.

“So I went to our former allies. Everyone wanted Clan Sutherland out. If they could do that to one clan on a whim, they could do it to any clan. I gathered men who were still loyal to me faither, and I took charge of them with one goal in mind. It took time for me to heal, but time was all I had back then. When I had enough support, we marched on the castle, me home, and killed Clan Sutherland. I didnae become like him. I didnae set fire to the castle. I didnae kill innocent people. We let the servants and commoners live, wipin’ out only the Sutherland bloodline. I went meself to Fraser’s room, but when I got there, he was gone. He had heard us comin’ and escaped. I vowed that night to hunt him down until me dyin’ days. I willnae rest until he is dead by me sword.”

“Ye shouldnae rest,” Holly agreed. “He must die.”

“Ye dinnae ken how glad it makes me to hear ye say that. I carry this vengeance around, but I dinnae like havin’ it in me heart. The castle was still burned when we took it back, and we spent years cleanin’ it and removin’ all signs of Clan Sutherland. Yet, there is one place I havenae been able to scrub clean of them—me heart. It makes it easier to have a woman by me side who shares me desire for vengeance.”

“I share it,” Holly admitted. “I ken it never touched me, but what happened is the greatest injustice I have ever heard. Now, he has the gall to attack ye when he is the one who started this. He deserves to die. There is nay question about it. If I ever run into him, I would gladly stab him in the heart meself.”

Whether it was the bloodlust, the lack of sleep, or the pain in her stomach, she suddenly felt drained. She looked at the Laird keeping watch by her bed, and she smiled or hoped she smiled. With the pain still in her body, she could not tell.

“We’ll kill him together,” she promised, before she fell asleep.