Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

The Lair was not what I was expecting. The place resembled a mountain resort retreat rather than a clubhouse. A massive two-story building with numerous outbuildings and small one-room camping cabins scattered about. Everything was clean, neat, and inviting.

I debated for a moment but then pulled out the stroller from the trunk. I had Pearl and a package with me for Betsey and only two arms. The roar of a motorcycle caught my ear, and my first response was to stiffen up, ready for battle, until I recognized the person riding. It was none other than Eva MacAteer, Stud’s old lady and wife. I’d met her a couple times when she came to the salon with her daughters—five, to be exact. She’d told me that Stud still wanted a boy but had made noises about giving up on that fantasy.

“Serves him right for being such a manwhore in his younger days.”

I had to laugh at her blunt humor.

Stud pulled up in a minivan. Only he could make the stodgy vehicle look cool.

“Hey, girl. How are you?” Eva greeted me as she whipped the helmet from her head. Two shakes of her head and her auburn curls fluffed and settled. I loved working with it when she came to my chair.

“I’m good,” I answered as I strapped Pearl into the bright yellow contraption. The sun had just sunk below the horizon, and the night sky sparkled overhead. Normally, I’d be home at this hour, spending the evening with my daughter, but I’d had a late client who put me over hours. Lori was kind enough to feed and watch Pearl for me so I could finish up. I’d also had to make a trip to the grocery store, as I was desperate for just about everything. I kept a cooler in my car for perishables in case my getting home was ever delayed. The reason for this side trip to the Lair was the box that arrived at the salon this afternoon. It was the wig I’d special ordered for Betsey. When I called her, she’d sounded out of breath and a little frantic.

“Lord have mercy, we’ve had a time lately. There’s some stuff happenin’ over to the bistro that we’re tryin’ to get sorted, and I been runnin’ around like a chicken with my head cut off. Can you help me out and bring it up here to the Lair for me? I wanna see it real bad, and I’d really appreciate it.”

When the local queen asked for a favor, it was generally a good idea to grant it.

The night air was warm, dry, and heavy. By now the weather in Minnesota would be cool, heading toward cold, while here the temperatures were still in the mid-eighties. I turned to Eva as I loaded the box in the stroller basket. “Is it always this hot this time of year?”

Eva puffed out a breath and shook her head. “It’s not unheard of, but it has been a lot drier this year than most, and summer doesn’t seem to want to leave. Hard to believe it’s October now. How’s business?”

“Good. I’ve got a good roster of clients now, and I think people in general like my work.”

Eva grinned as five blondes ranging from ten to two exited the van. Stud and Eva’s girls must have spent hours at this place, as they made a beeline for the door. Eva called out after them, “Don’t get too comfortable. It’s a school night, and we’re not staying long!”

Light spilled out from the door as they entered, along with music and voices. Lots of voices.

My first instinct was to push the stroller back to the car, load up, and escape. Eva kept me from doing that by linking her arm in mine and hitching her youngest on her hip. “It’s about time you made a visit. Betsey’s been wanting to get you and your little one here for a while. If you haven’t guessed, she collects people. Loves to be grandma to the world.”

“I feel weird. This is more than I thought,” I admitted.

“Yeah, it can be a little overwhelming. Hell, the whole club can be that way, but I swear on a stack of Bibles, no one will mess with you here. You get nervous about anyone or anything, give me or Stud the high sign, and we’ll take care of it.”

I had no doubts. Eva was a strong woman, physically as well as in spirit.

She pulled me into what amounted to a giant rec room. This is a biker house? It looked more like what I thought a country club would than a biker dive. The high vaulted ceilings were beamed and made me think of a castle. Several members were playing video games on a huge flat screen. Others were shooting pool or standing around with beer bottles and conversing. Molly was sitting on the armrest of the sofa with her hand over the shoulder of an older man. I guessed that was her husband, Cutter. I recognized Psalm and her two stepchildren from her salon visits.

One big family gathering. My belly churned from anxiety.

“Oooh, gimme that baby.” Betsey appeared in all her booted glory, but she lacked her usual energy.

Pearl’s eyes widened as the colorful woman picked her up, but my little girl never met anyone she didn’t like. Her big grin and “Ha-da” greeting had Betsey chortling and playing back. “Who’s a pretty girl? Who’s my pretty Pearl?”

She spoke to me while she focused on my child. “Lord, it’s been a zoo around here lately. I been down at the bistro helpin’ out and jus’ got here. Fauna’s been havin’ a time. You heard about the drama with that mess, right? Thank you so much for comin’ by. Means somethin’ special you goin’ out of your way.”

From the bits of gossip I’d picked up at the salon, apparently there was an incident at the restaurant where one of the waitresses got roofied. A few of the details had floated around, but I understood the police were investigating. I expected the Dragon Runners were also looking into it too.

My eyes bounced over to the all-knowing Eva, and I repeated her words in my head.

“Loves to be grandma to the world.”

I’d lost touch with my mother years ago. I had no idea where she was or if she was still alive. Pearl would miss out on that important relationship unless someone stepped in. I wasn’t real happy about the role being played by a biker’s wife, but this place was so much more than what I’d thought. In my previous life, very few people would have stopped to help me with my flat tire. Most would just drive away and not look.

I should have been nicer to Weatherman.

“There’s plenty of food over there in that little alcove. There’s kid-friendly food, too, like mac ’n’ cheese and nuggets. Got some deviled eggs we can cut up into little pieces too. She allergic? Go get’cha somethin’, and I’ll keep her for you.” Betsey popped open a beer with one hand and gave it to a biker.

Did I want to leave my daughter with Betsey? Not particularly, but Pearl was grinning and giggling as the woman played and talked to her. I trusted Lori, and she was a biker’s wife. It was probably time for me to trust someone else.

Get over yourself, Opal. These are good people. Stop judging them by a crooked stick.

“Thanks, I’ll be right back.”

The food table was full of Crock-Pots. Chilis, stews, dips, and anything else that could be put in a slow cooker and made ahead of time. Chicken nuggets and mac ’n’ cheese filled two pots put aside for the kids. A big green salad sat in the middle of the bubbling ceramic garden. It seemed to be the odd man out, considering the fat and calories of the other foods.

“Betsey is still tryin’ to get Brick to lay off the salt and eat more greens. It’s an ongoing battle.”

I turned to see a blond man who resembled what I would call an all-American football linebacker. Tall, broad, muscular, and beyond handsome. His gorgeous blue eyes narrowed and crinkled up as he frowned at the salad.

“It’s a noble cause for sure, but I have to agree with Brick’s opinion about kale. Cooked in soups and such, it ain’t bad, but straight up like this?” He shook his head. “Not so much.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Dodge.”

I took his hand and murmured my name back to him. So, this was Dodge, the custom car guy I’d heard about. I hadn’t seen him in the salon, but his girlfriend, Fauna, had come in a few times. I wanted to get my hands on her tight curly hair so badly, but so far, she’d stuck with Tambre doing her braids.

“You’re the new girl over at Tambre’s place. Weatherman said you’re a good stylist.” He reached up and fingered his short locks. “Got any room for me next week?”

“Um… I don’t have my calendar with me, but I’m sure I can find a spot.” Weatherman had complimented me? Even after I was so nasty to him? Really?

He grinned. “That would be great.”

“Doesn’t anyone use the barbershop?” I hadn’t realized I’d spoken out loud until Dodge burst out laughing.

“If you want clipper fuzz only, he’s your man. Most of us want to keep a little more on our heads. Plus, it’s nice to support our people’s businesses.”

“Support our people’s businesses.” To me, that concept sounded like a radical idea. To the Dragon Runners, it was normal.

Betsey held court at the bar, and Pearl was the princess. She sat on the queen’s hip, grinning and babbling at everyone. She looked so pleased with herself, I had to take a quick one-handed picture with my phone and text it to Mama J. I got an immediate reply.

Mama J: Oh, my girl looks so happy! Glad you both found a family.

Family . My girl had a family.

The thought of what that meant for my child made my eyes fill. Me? I would survive on less as I had always done, but this could mean Pearl had people who would always care for her and make sure her needs were covered. That possibility was more precious than all the gold in the world.

“They’ve got your back, too, sweetheart.”

I sniffled as the voice in my head spoke to me. But they’re bikers, I silently told him.

“Family is family, baby. Sometimes you get a good one, sometimes you get a bad one. You can tell the difference.”

What if I’m wrong?

“You’re not.”

Tears formed at the rims of my lids, and I resisted the urge to dash them away and draw attention to myself.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted someone I hadn’t seen very often but remembered well.

Donna.

She stood out from the crowd, and yet no one noticed her. She was dressed in short-shorts and a too-tight tank top that glittered and showed off her ample chest, but the men she was around barely paid her any attention. She tried, though, arching her back and rubbing her breasts against one man’s arm while pouting and flirting.

I glanced around at the other people in the room. I saw wives and girlfriends in casual wear, but they weren’t showing off as much skin. Betsey had on her standard jeans, boots, and cut, and most of the other women wore similar outfits. They formed their own little group, and Donna was most definitely on the outside of it.

I watched her as I filled my plate and added some finger foods for Pearl.

Her body wasn’t bad, but she didn’t have the same vigor I imagined she had when she was younger. She looked tired and worn out. Her breasts hung low, and her prominent belly jiggled when she strutted on her spiky heels. Her makeup was thick and over the top to hide the wrinkles at her eyes and around her mouth. The overprocessed hair didn’t help. She appeared to be a woman desperately hanging on to her youth in a world that left her behind long ago.

The reasons were pretty obvious. The older Dragon Runners around her age were all married with children. They were family men now, and the only single ones left were the younger prospects in their early twenties or so. The men Donna flirted with weren’t mean to her, but they pretty much ignored her advances. They just weren’t interested in being with someone a decade or more older than them.

She finally gave up and moved to another group to repeat the same gestures with a big come-hither smile and blatant invitation. They treated her the same way: polite but uninterested. Her mouth turned down, and it seemed her whole body drooped with the rejection. She turned to collect a few used plates and beer bottles and dump them into several large gray trash cans.

My hands tightened, and I had to concentrate on not dropping my plate. My heartbeat picked up. I might be an outsider to the Dragon Runners MC, but I recognized what role Donna played.

Sweet-butt. Easy-lay. House-mouse. All terms used for women who were essentially sex workers in some form. They were a convenient lay for members and provided maid services. The trade-off was money or gifts, or a place to stay.

This clashed with everything I’d seen so far about the Dragon Runners. They didn’t keep a stable of women for casual use. Donna appeared to be the only one, and an aging one at that. The other women at this gathering were either old ladies, wives, or girlfriends.

In some ways, this impressed me. A motorcycle club that was more like a clan of households that supported and had one another’s backs in times of trouble. This was something hard to achieve with or without bikes. I’d come from a place where people regularly tore each other apart. The only example I’d ever had of something different was Mama J, and even she had struggled mightily against the tide of life.

The smiling faces, the laughter, the happy vibe that floated around the cavernous room—this was clearly one big extended family. Brothers under one roof, all here to be a part of something big and solid.

Envy and desire hit my heart while hurt and anger started in my head.

Donna stood alone, a forgotten woman with no place and nowhere to go. What she fought to keep no longer existed for her and left her picking up scraps of whatever affection still remained. Outside. Always outside.

It made me want to cry and scream with outrage at the same time.

“Don’t let the past dictate the future, sweetheart.”

“You okay?” a random person asked.

I shook myself and sniffed to hide the emotions churning inside my gut. “You bet. Thanks.”

Betsey stayed behind the bar, Pearl on her hip and the wig box next to her. She fumbled at the package, trying to open it while my daughter squirmed and played.

A man in a light brown uniform appeared next to them. Weatherman. He must have just arrived. His uniform was plain, but he wore it well, fitted around his incredible body. If he had one of those fancy hats with the tassels, I didn’t see it. His hair wasn’t flattened, and the waves lay perfectly across his skull. Waves I’d cut and styled.

He said something to Betsey and opened his arms to take Pearl from her. Betsey beamed in excitement and handed my little girl over to him. She reached and giggled as he scooped her up, fingering the shiny badge on his chest before putting her head on his shoulder.

A dull ache started in my belly and radiated throughout my body. This feeling inside me burned bad enough that I couldn’t breathe. I watched as Weatherman held my little girl. Safe. Secure. She must have sensed that, as her tiny arms came up to grip his shirt and her eyes closed.

“It’s okay to let your heart beat again.”

Betsey opened the box and pulled another one out with a familiar logo on the side. She lifted a tangled hairpiece from it and held it up. Her mouth turned down. Tambre looked interested, but the others had doubtful expressions. I put on my game face and hurried over.

“Nice color at least. What do you think?” Betsey held the mess out to me, and I handed my plate off to someone.

I examined the wig, pulling at the strands and checking the web of the cap. This was a really fine piece. Tightly woven, full hair, soft netting with an extra layer of padding for long wear. “This will be great once it’s styled.”

“Oh, thank the Lord!” she breathed in relief. “I thought somethin’ was wrong with it.”

“Nothing a little brushing and heat won’t fix. I can do most of that on a head form at the salon, but it would be best if I could do it for the person wearing it.”

Betsey’s eyes moved to the man who was now standing next to me. “Let me know when your mama’s up to a visit. I wanna see how she likes it.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

I noticed Weatherman’s usually smooth voice sounded rough. I glanced at him. His eyes were wet and his mouth tight. He held my daughter and my plate as if it was natural to him to wait for me. That burn in my chest ignited again as my sleeping daughter snuggled close.

Betsey popped open a beer and handed it to Dodge before getting distracted by a new arrival. She moved from behind the bar in a tizzy. “Lord in heaven, Katie Grace! What are you doing here, child?”

I was left alone with Weatherman, who was still holding my daughter and my plate. Emotions churned in my belly like acid, and so many feels crowded my head, but first and foremost was escape.

“Let’s go sit over there.” He gestured with his chin. “I’ll hold her until you’re finished.”

My instincts told me to forget the food, grab Pearl, and run.

“Stay.”

For once, I ignored the voice. “No, thanks. I need to get her home and to bed.”

“You can take a few minutes to sit and eat.”

I spotted Donna as she sidled up to another biker. He was polite, but she was rebuffed. Again. “She’s tired.”

“And she’s sleeping.” He swayed back and forth while holding my little girl.

My heart twisted under a massive pressure to escape. My breaths came in little gasps, and I thought my chest might burst open if I didn’t get out soon. “That’s nice of you, but I have to go.”

“I don’t mind. I like kids.”

I ignored him and tossed the paper plate with all its uneaten food into the nearest trash can. In my head, I recognized that I was being unreasonable, but I couldn’t help it. “I don’t care what you like or don’t like.” I bit back the rest of the words I wanted to spew. I had to live here and get along with the club that ultimately paid my bills, but I didn’t have to be a member of their world. I couldn’t do that. Not ever.

Not again.

I snatched Pearl from his arms, and she woke up enough to fuss at me. My feet were practically running as I hurried to the door and the parking area outside the massive cabin. My only focus was to get out of there and get home before any other voices started talking to me. I needed the sanctuary of my little apartment and the safe haven I’d made it.

I reached my car and fumbled for my keys when I realized I’d left both my jacket and Pearl’s with the stroller inside the building.

Stupid! Stupid! Stuuuuupid!

I stifled a sob as I fought back a total breakdown in the dark against my car. My gut wanted to puke, and my brain was going to explode. Cravings I had long conquered churned and rose in my throat, and if it weren’t for the baby in my arms, I would have run crazily down the long mountain road, screaming my head off.

“Weak. Soooo weak.”

I’d hoped never to hear that sinister whisper again, but there it was, still coiled in my belly, waiting to strike when I was at my lowest point. I clung to my child, selfishly using her as an anchor to keep me sane and grounded.

The familiar rattle hit my ears, and someone called my name. “Opal, wait up a minute.”

Weatherman had followed me and brought the stroller and jackets. “What the hell is your fuckin’ prob—shit.”

The stroller stopped next to me. Two seconds later, Pearl and I were both taken into a warm and secure embrace. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I got you.”

“I got you. I got you. Hang on, sweetness. Stay with me.”

Words from my past echoed in my head and heart. “I’m… I’m… I can’t….”

“You don’t have to. Just breathe, sweetheart. Breathe with me. You can do this.”

More words from my past. More emotions rolling in my belly ready to spill out. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. I was going to pass out or go mad. Maybe both.

“Hang on, sweetness and listen to him.”

The voice broke through my haziness, and I listened to it. I matched Weatherman’s deep breaths and got control of myself. It seemed to take forever, but I finally settled enough to stand on my own. I pulled back enough to see those hazel eyes of his staring back at me, close and full of concern, like he actually gave a shit.

A memory flashed in my brain. A parking lot outside a church. Dark night. Me, desperately trying to keep it together and not fall back into the hell I’d fought to escape. Wild cravings about to consume me, and then a pair of hazel eyes appearing to rescue me from the abyss.

Only this time, it was a different pair of eyes that stared into mine. A different man. A different time. One second, we were acquaintances who rubbed each other the wrong way, and the next we were somehow bonded. A shared moment when everything in me was totally exposed. Somehow without words, he recognized the demons that had sprouted in my belly.

And he didn’t look away.

His gaze dropped to my mouth, and I stopped breathing.

He was going to kiss me. I knew it. He knew it. Like it was the most natural step to take.

Even more shocking?

I wanted it.

I wanted it badly.

He swayed toward me, and I readied myself for his touch.

At the last second, I turned my head. I might be okay for now, but anxiety still bubbled below the surface. I’d been here before, on the brink of losing my shit entirely, more times than I’d care to remember.

Pearl grunted and shifted on my shoulder, breaking this weird trance we were trapped in. He stepped back and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I… I… keys?”

“My jacket pocket.”

The opportunity closed, but there was still a residual sense of connection. One that would be with me for quite a while. Only time would tell what that union would mean, but for now, I had to retreat behind the walls I’d put up so carefully.

He beeped the locks. “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

I watched as he loaded the stroller into the trunk and then shut it with a firm click before turning to me with somber eyes. “I’m serious. Text me.”

“The Dragon Runners have a code when it comes to taking care of the women in this town. You see a man wearing this emblem, you can trust that he won’t leave you on the side of the road until you’re safe.”

Weatherman’s words came back to me in a rush. Safe. I was safe with him. Only one other time had I ever felt this cared for and protected. It was taken from me, but that one taste left me with a desire to find something like it a second time—and also scared as hell of what it would do to me to lose it once more.

“It’s okay to let your heart beat again.”

I wanted to. I wanted that connection, but was it too much to ask to have it twice in a lifetime? Was I being greedy?

“You bet,” I squeaked out before getting in my car. The engine started, and I backed out carefully, hearing the gravel crunch under the tires. The outside lights barely made a dent in the dark, but I still saw his figure watching me as I drove away.