Chapter Four

Chapter FourAdjusting the pillow I’d propped up behind me, I sighed down the phone the following Friday evening. “Give it up, Briar. My answer won’t change.”“God, you’re stubborn,” she said.I snorted, my lips twitching into a small smile. “Says the woman who’s been hounding me for twenty minutes, trying to coerce me into doing what I don’t want to do.”“Not coerce, coax. I am gently trying to cajole you into agreeing to my suggestion.”“And piling on the pressure with each ‘no’ you receive.”“Only because I love you and don’t like that you’re insisting on so much alone time.”My mini smile dimming, I dipped my hand into the bowl of popcorn situated between my legs and scooped up a few. “I’ve been busy.”“You have deadlines, I know. But you’re a person who believes in having a work-life balance. Lately, you’ve had no such balance.”“I’m not working constantly.” I chucked some popcorn into my mouth. “I’m just not spending much of my downtime out of my apartment.”“Which would be fine if you were someone who didn’t mind being surrounded by four walls a lot of the time. But you’re not. You’re a woman who likes to be out and about.” Briar paused. “Cat, I know you must be feeling like a lump of shit right now, I do. And I get it. But that’s why you should come with me and Inaya tonight. It’d be good for you.”Again, I scooped some popcorn out of my bowl. “I told you, I don’t feel in the mood for a night out.” I’d much prefer to do exactly what I was doing right then—lounge in my bed and watch movies while I binged on junk. It was my ritual for Friday evenings that involved staying at home.“You mean you’re worried that you’ll bump into Danton,” Briar softly accused.My stomach twisted at the mention of him. “That too,” I conceded before tossing more popcorn into my mouth. I stared unseeing at the TV screen that showed a freeze-frame of the movie I’d paused. “I can’t stand there and watch him select a new club-buddy.” It would be a knife to the gut.“Cat—”“I don’t know who I’d punch first, him or her. But there would definitely be punching. Maybe even kicking. Then my membership would be revoked. No, thank you.” I ate a few more pieces of popcorn. “Not my idea of a fun night out.”“I doubt he’d move on so soon.”I snorted. “Don’t kid yourself. We’ve established that I’m not important to him, so he’s not going to feel the need to take a little break before seeking out another woman. And I’m not yet in a mental place where I could be breezy about it.”“It might help if you yourself found someone new to play with.”I grimaced. “I’m not ready for that. I couldn’t welcome another guy hitting on me.” I’d only be annoyed that he wasn’t the man I truly wanted, and it didn’t seem fair to play with one dude when my mind was on another.“So, then, we’d shove away any guy who tried his luck.”“A perfect solution. But it wouldn’t solve the problem of how much shit would go down if I saw Danton with someone else. If it makes me weak to need a little time, well, it makes me weak.”“It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. You were in an arrangement with him for over six months. It’s only natural that any possessiveness you felt toward him has lingered some.”“Natural, yes, but unfortunate.” I munched a little harder than necessary on a handful of popcorn. “And highly irritating.”“It’ll pass.”“And I look forward to the day where it has. Hopefully it won’t be too far off in the future.” I doubted it would be. Generally, it never took long for me to ‘get over’ a guy. Then again, my exes hadn’t mattered to me on the same level that he did. Ugh.Briar let out a weary sigh. “I wish there was something I could do or say that would make you feel better.”My chest warmed. “You’re a good friend, Briar. I adore you for caring. But you don’t need to worry about me so much. I’m finding this hard, yeah. But I’m not devastated.”“You said you cried.”“It was a teeny, weeny cry. There’ve been no more tears since Saturday. I’m not in a pit of misery. I’m not feeling the need to mope or have a pity party. But I’m also not yet ready to go back to the basement. I need more time away from Danton. It’s only been, like, six days.”She exhaled heavily. “Okay, sweetie. If this is what you really need, I’ll back off. I just worry about you.”“I know.” Which was why it was impossible to be frustrated with her tenacious attempts to coerce me to head out for the night. “But I’ll be fine. Really.”“He’s an absolute fool for letting you go.”“Oh, totally,” I agreed before chomping down more popcorn. “I almost feel sorry for him.”She softly snickered in amusement. “He’ll miss you. I guarantee it.”Doubtful. Though he might miss the sex. Or, at least, my ego would like to think he would, since I’d certainly miss it.“Have you told your family that it’s over between you two?”“No, not yet. I’m going to take advantage of this time that Jorge considers me out of bounds.” He’d called a few times asking for information about Danton’s personal business, and he hadn’t been happy when I’d reported that I knew nothing. He hadn’t pushed too hard, though. Well, he wouldn’t want to chance that I’d get so mad I’d tell Danton, who had explicitly warned him not to turn me into a honey trap. “It may seem like I’m hiding behind Danton—”“You’re not hiding behind anyone. You’re just enjoying this peace while it lasts. Can’t say I blame you. I’d do the same.”“I’m not looking forward to losing that peace. As soon as he finds out that Danton’s out of the picture, he’ll descend on me, demanding I fess up anything that I might have discovered. Worse, he won’t believe for one moment that Danton never spoke a single word to me about his private business.”“And so Jorge will threaten to hurt Teresa if you don’t tell him whatever you know … which would be a major problem, since you truly know nothing.”My gut roiling, I swallowed. “Yup.” I grabbed my glass of wine from the nightstand and took a sip. “Any beating she endures will be for nothing.”Briar puffed out a breath. “Either Danton didn’t fully think it through when he told Jorge that you two were ‘involved,’ or he was so sure you’d fall in line with what he wanted that he didn’t consider you’d end up in this situation.”“I think it’s the latter.” I set my glass back on the nightstand. “After all, he believed that my only reason for walking away was that Jorge requested something of me. If he’d known right from the outset that I had other reasons, I don’t think Danton would have made his presence in my life known to my family.”Pausing, I rubbed at my forehead, groaning. “I should have told him everything that night I first tried to end it. I was too much of a coward.”“Not a coward,” she softly insisted. “You were protecting yourself. We all do that where and when we can.”I dipped my hand into my bowl again. “Whatever the case, I’m partly at fault for my current mess.”“Personally, I think you should just pin all the blame on Danton. I am. The pussy deserves it.”A surprised chuckle bubbled up. “Pussy?”“He won’t pull up his big boy pants and make you his. He’d rather be all alone to spare himself any possible pain. We’re all at risk of being hurt when we enter relationships. Okay, maybe we don’t have to worry that the person we care for might be killed by our enemies, but we do have to live with the fear of losing them. Still, we push past it. He won’t. So. Yeah. Total pussy.”Smiling, I said, “I love you, Briar.” I ate my handful of popcorn. “You’re too ace for words.”“Oh, I know. And I love you, too. Which is why I pressed you so hard about coming out tonight, but I understand why you’re not up for it. I just want to note that I genuinely don’t think he’ll move on as quickly as you believe.”“Ever the optimist.”She snickered. “It’s not mere optimism, oh cynical one. Call it gut instinct.”“Call it ‘mistaken.’” I bit my lip. “Do me a favor. If you see him get himself a new club-buddy, tell me. I don’t need to hear who she is or what they did together or anything. I’d just rather know if he snaps up a woman.”“All right,” said Briar, a reluctant note to her voice. “If you’re sure you want to know.”“I’m sure.”“Okay, I’ll be sure to—Christ, I’m running late. Only just noticed the time. I have to go now so I can get ready for tonight. I won’t push you to go back to the Vault until you’re ready, but consider that we don’t have to go to the basement. We could hit the main floor or maybe catch a burlesque show.”A weak smile tugged at one corner of my mouth. “I’d like that. Not tonight, though.”“Not tonight. But soon.”“Soon.” After rounding up the conversation, I tapped my screen with my thumb to end the call. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tossed my cell on the bed.I adored Briar. I truly did. But I wished the woman hadn’t called, because I’d been doing a good job of not thinking about Danton as I’d vegged out in front of the TV. Now, however, he was on my mind once more.So I did what I always did when he popped into my thoughts. I distracted myself.I grabbed the remote control, pressed ‘play,’ and then settled in to watch the rest of the movie on the streaming service. Before long, all the popcorn was gone and my wine glass needed topping up. Again.I generally didn’t drink more than two glasses a night. But I generally didn’t have a rock of hurt lodged in my stomach, so …My glass in hand, I padded to the kitchen on bare feet. I placed it on the counter, retrieved the bottle of red from the wine rack, and then poured a healthy amount into my glass.My brows drew together as a knock came at the door. The only visits I tended to get were from my friends. All were currently getting ready for their girls’ night out. Fuck, if this was Jorge I was not going to be happy.Abandoning the glass and bottle, I walked through the apartment and over to the front door. Looking through the peephole, I felt my frown smooth away as I saw the building’s concierge on the opposite side of the door. Opening it, I smiled. “Hi, Pierce.”“Good evening, Miss Dukas.” He held out a black, rectangular box. “This was hand-delivered to the complex just now. I was asked to personally give it to you.”Cautiousness made the corners of my eyes tighten. “Who delivered it?”“The gentleman didn’t give me his name.” Pierce rattled off a description that made me blink hard. Vicente.What in the hell would Danton have told him to deliver to me? There seemed little probability that Vicente had come here off his own back.I forced a smile and took the box from the concierge. “Thank you, Pierce. Have a good evening.”“Same to you, Miss Dukas.”I closed the door and stared down at my delivery. It wasn’t a gift box. Wasn’t wrapped. There was no ribbon. No bows. No pretty tag. It was just a plain black, cardboard container that was neatly sealed shut by tape.My belly fluttered with the unease of uncertainty. I couldn’t imagine what Danton would bother to send me. He hadn’t done anything like this before.A naïve part of me thought that, despite the lack of wrapping, it might be a gift. An attempt to freaking woo. But no, it wouldn’t be that. If Danton suddenly decided he wanted more than a simple arrangement, he’d quite simply tell me.So, what, could this be an apology of some sort? No. He had nothing to apologize for. He hadn’t done anything other than not return my feelings. That wasn’t something he could be blamed or vilified for. You couldn’t force yourself to feel something for someone, could you?There was really only one way to solve the mystery. I’d have to open the box.Tucking it under my arm, I returned to the kitchen, put the bottle of wine away, and then picked up my glass. I sipped at my drink as I padded back to my bedroom, where I then placed the box on the bed.Setting my glass on the nightstand once more, I let out a shaky breath. It took me a few seconds to peel off the small pieces of tape that secured the box shut. Removing the lid, I found another much smaller box inside. This one was patterned and wrapped in cellophane. And I knew exactly what it contained.My stomach clenched hard. Danton didn’t do gifts, but there was one thing he consistently bought me every couple of months—this specific brand of perfume, which only came in a very small bottle. I’d worn it the first night we met. From then on, he’d liked me to wear it for him, just as he’d occasionally asked me to wear a particular dress or outfit.Essentially, he liked to dress his doll himself, though not in person.I hadn’t only spritzed on the perfume when meeting him at the club. I’d used it pretty much every day at his request. It had seemed like his way of ‘marking’ me, though I couldn’t be sure.Spotting a small slip of paper, I lifted it. It was a handwritten note, I quickly realized. It read: Cat. I meant to give this to you at the club last weekend. You might as well have it. D.A force wrenched at my gut. I got it now. He’d recently bought it for me as usual, unaware that I meant to end things, and he figured there was no sense in keeping it.I closed my eyes. He hadn’t meant for it to be a kick to the gut, I knew that. But it felt like one all the same. Felt similar to an ex handing back possessions that you’d left at his home. It made our parting ways seem so final.Snapping open my eyes, I grabbed my phone and unblocked his number. I needed to text him. I needed to give him a ration of shit for … for … well, nothing. It would be for nothing. He hadn’t done anything wrong, had he?If he’d even suspected that this would hurt me, he wouldn’t have done it. I believed that down to my bones. Danton could be a ruthless shit, but he wasn’t a bastard for the sake of being one.Staring down at my cell, my thumbs hovering over the screen, I bit my lip. This was dumb. I should just block his number all over again and then get on with my evening. But I found myself rapidly typing: You didn’t need to send me the perfume.Worse, I pressed fucking ‘send.’Groaning, I tossed my cell on the mattress. The wine. I blamed the wine.Ooh, wine. I took my glass from the nightstand and downed almost half of it in one gulp. The girls were going to give me so much shit for this, and rightly so. Everyone knew better than to text their ex—or ex-club-buddy, whatever—when they’d been drinking. It simply was not done.My phone beeped, signaling an incoming message. I blinked, surprised. I hadn’t been expecting a response from him, let alone for one to come so fast.Maybe the text wasn’t from Danton. Maybe it was from one of my friends.After placing down my glass, I snatched my phone from the bed. No, the message was from Danton all right. I wasn’t gonna give it to someone else.No, he’d pick a different perfume for his next toy. But I didn’t care about that. I didn’t. Nope. I began texting a message saying as much, but then I cursed at myself for being an idiot, deleted the whole thing, and typed a simple: Thanks.There. Done. We could now just forget—My phone chimed again. A peek at the screen told me it was another message from Danton. Answer the phone.I frowned, confused. Until it then began to ring in my hand. Shit.I stared at it, biting the inside of my cheek. I shouldn’t answer it. I should let it go to voicemail. I should make—I answered it. “Hello?” The greeting came out quiet and soft.A low male hum. “I half-expected you to ignore my call.”God, I’d missed that voice. Which was ridiculous. It was just a freaking voice.“I almost did,” I admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “So, um, what do you want?”“From you? Same thing I always want,” he said, the words practically dripping with sex.My lower stomach clenched. “I’ll rephrase. Why did you call?”A short pause. “I wanted to check on you; see how you’re doing.”I almost jerked away from the phone in surprise. Check on me? Well, that was a new one. “I’m fine.” I sank down on the edge of the bed. “You?”A speculative noise. “You don’t sound pissed at me,” he mused.My brow furrowed. “Why would I be pissed at you?”“For not offering you what you need.” The words were low and soft with … not quite regret, but something near to it.There was a twinge in my chest. “I’m not upset with you, Danton. You didn’t do anything wrong. It isn’t your fault I came to want more than you can give. It isn’t my fault either. It just happened.”Another pause. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby. I never wanted that.”I squeezed my eyes shut, a little too affected by the term of endearment than I would have liked. He usually only used it during sex. “I know.”“I didn’t think you’d ever want more from me.”“Neither did I.” It plain sucked that I’d been wrong. Opening my eyes, I cleared my throat. “So, anyway, I have to go.” I really didn’t trust that my wine-muddled brain wouldn’t give me the bright idea to blurt out something stupid. Plus, hearing his voice … it was too hard, too much a reminder of what I’d lost. No, a reminder of what I’d never had.“Cat?”I swallowed. “Yeah?”“You ever need anything, you call me. Okay? This line’s always open to you, no matter what.”God, the rock in my gut was growing. “Right. Okay. Um. Bye.” I hung up fast, knowing I should wish I hadn’t answered the phone but unable to feel any such regret inside me.I really needed to stay clear of the wine from now on.

***The next morning, I received a text message from Briar to inform me that Danton hadn’t showed up at the Vault last night.Unexpected.