29. 2

“I got my memories back,” Sean said.

Ben sat back, surprised, then went to get up. “That’s fuckin’ unreal. For real?” He looked between Jack and Sean, his face beaming as he went to come around the table.

“Sit, sit,” Sean said and Ben did. “We need to tell ya somethin’.”

Ben sat down again, looking between them.

“You’re not retirin’ anyway?” Ben asked. “Ya don’t need to and fuck knows we need you.”

“No,” Sean shook his head as Jack said, “Definitely not.”

“Alright, so?”

Sean looked at Jack. Jack was already watching him back. His smile was small but it was real, hopeful.

“Jack and I are together,” Sean said and looked at Ben.

Ben looked between them, his expression unchanged. “Yeah, like you live together.”

“Nah, like,” Sean reached up and clasped Jack’s shoulder, squeezing gently as he stroked his thumb up his neck. “Like, we’re together. A couple. A gay couple.”

“You guys are gay?” Ben asked, his voice going right up at the end. “Like, both of you?”

Jack snorted a laugh like he couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, like both of us,” Sean said, annoyed and took his hand back. “How would we be together if only one of us was gay, dumbass?”

“Well, I dunno, it’s just a lot to take in. One of you bein’ gay would be a lot, but both of you?” Ben replied, eyes wide as he looked between them.

“Course it’s both of us if we’re together,” Sean said.

Ben whistled. “Shit, eh. Does anyone know?”

“You,” Sean said, “you know. We’re tellin’ ya right now.”

“Oh, wow,” Ben said. “That’s cool, eh?” But he still looked shocked.

“Is it?” Sean asked, a challenge in his voice. He knew Ben would be cool, but he needed to hear it, really hear it.

“Yeah, man, course,” Ben said. “Sorry, I’m just tryin’ to make sense of it. So like, you’ve always been gay?”

“Yeah, born this way or whatever,” Sean replied.

“Oh fuck,” Ben said like he was in another conversation. “Were you together when you had your accident? Since when were you together?”

“Since I moved in with my boyfriend,” Sean rolled his eyes.

“Before that,” Jack said looking at Sean. “Two years before you got hurt.”

“Since the locker room? You count that?” Sean asked.

“Well, yeah,” Jack nodded. “‘Cos then you texted and stuff. And we went on that date.”

“What date?” Sean would remember a date.

“At the beach,” Jack replied.

“Fish and chips at the beach is not a date. And if you’re counting it from when we kissed, then it should be our first kiss which was when we were seventeen,” Sean countered.

“Well, I would’ve been happy to count it from then, but you cracked the shits for eight years and didn’t tell me why, so,” he shrugged, genuinely put upon and God, Sean loved the shit out of him.

“You guys got together when we were seventeen?” Ben asked.

Sean squeezed Jack’s hand under the table. “Kinda.”

Jack smiled at him and leaned over, like he didn’t give a shit about Ben in front of them and Sean met him—it was a quick kiss and they were both smiling too much for it to go anywhere.

Ben cleared his throat.

“Like we don’t put up with you and Lara making out all the time,” Sean said.

“Hey, I ain’t got a problem with it, just don’t want you to forget I’m here.”

Sean snorted. “So, we cool?”

“Yeah, asshole, as if I’d give a shit, I just don’t get why you never told me before.”

“Because, I dunno. It was my business,” Sean said and sat up. “But now I want a few more people in on my business so Jack never has to go through all that on his own ever again. And,” he looked over at Jack and smiled at him as he went on, “and my boyfriend’s hot as fuck, so,” he winked, “kinda wanna show off a bit.”

Jack blushed. “I reckon I’m the one who’s showing off.”

Ben cleared his throat again.

“Congrats?” he said with a grin. “Seriously, Lord knows no woman would be able to put up with ya, Sean.”

“Ah, fuck off,” Sean laughed.

“And Jack’s a catch, eh?” Ben went on, winked at Jack.

“Stop flirting with him,” Sean said and got up. “Fuck, I need a beer.”

“Me too,” Ben breathed out.

“I’ll get them,” Jack jumped up and pushed Sean back down with a firm kiss.

Ben waited until Jack was out the door to lean over and whisper. “Seriously happy for ya dude, and this makes a lot of sense, kinda like how you were so obsessed with him.”

“I wasn’t obsessed,” Sean hissed.

Ben cackled. “Yeah, ya were. Fuck, how did I not know? But also, how the fuck did you land that ?”

“Fuck off,” Sean said, “he’s lucky to have me. I’m a fuckin’ delight.”

Ben cracked up. “You’re an asshole. And he’s a legit nice guy. Hot too.”

“Stop pervin’ on my fuckin’ boyfriend,” Sean said as Jack came back in, his face reddening.

“What’re we talking about?” Jack asked like he didn’t really want to know.

“Ben was just sayin’ how lucky I am,” Sean replied and took the beer Jack handed him.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” Jack replied seriously.

Ben heaved with laughter, but Sean could only smile.

They waited until everyone left the BBQ, holding Jack’s sisters back minus husbands and kids, and told them.

Annie said she knew Jack was gay. “I saw your search history when you borrowed my laptop. Believe me, I wasn’t searching for Big Guy Gets Dicked Down by Dom Cock .”

Jack went absolutely scarlet and Sean snorted his coffee out his nose.

“I can’t believe you needed to watch porn so bad—you only borrowed it for a day,” Annie went on.

“You were not subtle,” Amy chimed in and Sean looked at her with his memories intact—he was the closest to her of the four since Amy worked for the Department of Primary Industries and Agriculture, spent a lot of time out his way for work and on her husband’s family farm. They’d always shared knowledge about Country; he’d talked to her for hours at so many dinners.

“Do you remember when we got the house rewired?” Amy asked.

“Don’t—”

But Amy was proceeding over Jack’s protests, smile gleeful. “You could not stop looking at that electrical apprentice. All, ‘I think I’ll do my homework in the kitchen, in the living room, in the laundry’.”

“I did not do my homework in the laundry,” Jack objected, shooting Sean a look to assure him he wasn’t that desperate; Sean laughed at the image of it—young Jack trailing around after some hot tradie, watching his biceps flex as he worked on light fixtures.

Sarah asked why Jack had never told any of them. “Did you think we’d care?”

“No, I dunno. No,” he reiterated. “I just wanted to focus on footy. And then when Mum and Dad…”

“They wouldn’t have cared,” Annie said into the silence.

“No, I know,” Jack said. “But I cared. Back then, I cared.”

Helen chimed in and said it all made sense. “Do you guys remember what Dad used to say about Jack and footy?”

Annie laughed, “That’s right!”

“What?” Jack asked, looking between them at the dining table, their hands curled on mugs of coffee.

“Dad used to say, ‘I’m glad he’s so passionate about football, but it’ll be great when he gets a girlfriend so he talks about something else’,” Amy said.

“And then after that carnival, it was all, ‘Sean this, Sean that,’” Helen finished.

“Oh my God, yes,” Sarah cracked up, “‘Sean is such a good winger, he’s gonna get drafted so high, I hope we go to the same team’,’” she mimicked his voice in a high falsetto.

“That doesn’t even sound like me,” Jack said.

“And then the moping when he wouldn’t text you back,” Annie said with a fond smile. “But you still never shut up about him.”

“Dad was right,” Helen smiled. “You just needed a boyfriend to stop thinking about footy.”

Sean nudged Jack’s side and Jack met his eyes, shrugged as if to say, Well, that’s true enough .

By the end of the night, their circle had expanded to five people knowing and Sean said he’d tell Jayden.

“Just in case,” he said when they got into bed.

“It’s never gonna happen again,” Jack responded firmly and pressed his naked body against Sean’s.

“Nah, I know, but, just in case. Plus,” he ran his nose up and down Jack’s throat. “It’s kinda nice, showin’ off my boyfriend.”

“Yeah,” Jack replied and when Sean kissed him, he felt his smile. “I love that part too.”

Sean broke the kiss with a laugh as he remembered Jack’s irritation over Jorge. “Oh my God, Jackie,” he said as he looked at Jack smiling dopily. “You were pissed because Jorge was flirting with me!”

Jack groaned and buried his face against Sean’s chest. “Don’t remind me.”

“No, but, why, man? Ya know I’d never cheat on you,” Sean tugged on his hair to get him to look up.

Jack did, reluctantly. “You wouldn’t, you now, but I didn’t know if… I dunno, it’s stupid but like, he’s really hot.”

Sean rolled his eyes, pushed Jack onto his back so he could straddle him. “He’s nowhere near as hot as you, and like, I was mad ‘cos he was hitting on you.”

“Well, I’d never cheat on you, so,” Jack smiled up at him, his hands running up and down Sean’s back. “It’s why I was kinda weird about starting up again.”

Sean frowned as he put together what Jack was saying. He’d said, “Future you? I don’t want to piss him off.” The sentiment was actually kind of sweet, but also kind of stupid considering it’d looked like Sean wasn’t going to get his memories back. They’d needed to get back together somehow. He told Jack as much.

“Yeah, well,” Jack shrugged his shoulders back against the bed, stroked his hands around Sean’s waist. “You’re kinda scary when you’re mad, so.”

Sean snorted. “You’re not.”

Jack huffed a laugh. “No shit.”

“But I reckon ya got another play, eh?” Sean leaned down to kiss him, hovering just over his lips in a tease. Jack braced for it, breaths going short.

Sean remembered Jack asking him to go to Finn and George’s wedding—they’d been fucking for the whole season at that point, and while Sean had been so into it he was borderline obsessed with getting down Jack’s pants at every opportunity, they’d never talked about anything beyond the conversation at the beach, were yet to develop much of a relationship outside the bedroom. Jack had seemed nervous when he’d asked, and looking back on it, Sean could see now Jack had been asking him for more than simply going to a wedding with him as a teammate and friend, he’d been asking him to be his date.

A part of Sean had known that, even then, but he’d never been good at looking at his own fears head-on and he’d shot Jack down with a laugh and a, “Fuck, no.” He’d followed him home that night and held him tight after they fucked as if to somehow communicate his regret, his fears. Jack had appeared to let it roll off him, a short, “No, sorry, of course,” before he turned away and busied himself at his locker. But Sean had seen his embarrassment, his hurt, and clung all night to try and make up for it.

“Ya get sad,” Sean said now, his lips caressing Jack’s with his words. “And that fucks me up, every time. Ya know that?”

“Sorry,” Jack whispered.

“Nah,” Sean kissed him for real, sank his body down on top of him and lost himself in the feel of their mouths moving together, tongues meeting. “Hey,” he panted as he pushed up, kissed Jack’s forehead. “I’m not gonna hurt ya again, alright?”

“Me neither,” Jack replied immediately.

“Nah, but, I mean, I probably am? Like by accident? But I mean, I’m gonna say somethin’ and not just get mad,” Sean finished.

Jack cupped his face in his hand, quirked his lips up. “I think mad has been kinda good for our sex life.”

Sean cracked up. “Jackie, I’m tryna have a serious moment here.”

“Okay, I’m all for us never hurting each other again, but like, I really want you to, you know,” he rolled his hips up and his erection pressed against Sean’s thigh.

“Ya wanna get fucked, Jackie?” Sean asked, voice turning sly.

Jack’s eyes slipped closed as he shuddered and oh yes, Sean had missed this too.

Sean kissed his throat, trailed down to his clavicle, feather light kisses on Jack’s warm skin. Jack ran his palms up and down Sean’s back, a light touch like he couldn’t help himself. It felt incredible, but Sean needed to tease him, to feel his control over him, to feel the way Jack let him be in control.

“Hang on,” he said as he leaned over the edge of the bed, pulled the box out from under it where Jack had returned it. He came back up with the handcuffs. Jack sucked in a sharp breath and his dick flexed against Sean’s ass.

Sean huffed a laugh and leaned down to kiss him.

“Ya reckon ya can handle it?” he murmured against Jack’s lips.

“Yeah, yes, definitely,” Jack breathed out.

Sean slid Jack’s arms above his head, cuffed the left wrist, circled the chain through the bar above the headboard, then cuffed his right. He sat back and surveyed Jack’s torso, stretched and already heaving.

“Tap out if you need to,” Sean said and went back to pressing lingering kisses on Jack’s skin, spent a bit of time teasing his nipples, felt Jack’s hips lifting up to try and get friction on his dick.

Sean pushed himself back up Jack’s body, leaned down close to his ear and whispered, “Stay still or I’m gonna tie ya legs down.”

Jack’s whole body shuddered and fuck, Sean had missed this.

He met Jack’s eyes and watched him swallow before sagging back into the mattress, his eyes holding Sean’s and saying with that look he was going to be good, he was going to trust Sean to give him what he needed.

“Good boy,” Sean said softly and kissed him—it was meant to be a tease, a soft brush of lips, but he sank into it, rubbing his stiffening cock against Jack’s.

“Stop distractin’ me,” he said as he pulled back.

Jack snorted, a smile flashing over his face for a second. “I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re bein’ you,” Sean replied and moved down his body.

Sean took him in hand and stroked lightly. Jack inhaled deeply, his legs restless but not making any big movements. He looked up and met Jack’s eyes as he pressed his lips to the top of Jack’s dick. Jack groaned and his body shook. Sean huffed a laugh against his dick.

“Don’t ya dare come until I’m inside you,” Sean said before he took Jack into his mouth and pushed down slowly.

As he worked him over at an agonisingly slow pace, he felt Jack bunching and releasing every muscle to keep himself under control. He could feel how he was trying not to beg for more, his eyes slipping closed before snapping back open like he didn’t want to miss anything.

Sean released him to get the lube and Jack jerked against the cuffs.

“Hey,” Sean said, his hand caressing Jack’s pec. “I’m not gonna leave you. Ya need to tap out?”

Jack shook his head and sucked in a pull of air. “I’m good.”

“Yeah,” Sean breathed because Jack was damn good. “You’re always so good for me, aren’t ya, Jackie?”

Jack flushed redder at his words, squeezing his eyes shut as he nodded, the reaction delighting Sean so much he had to kiss him before he moved back down the bed.

He added a slicked-up finger to the blowjob. He was up to three fingers and had the taste of Jack’s come from milking his prostate on his tongue when Jack started to beg.

“Fuck, Sean, please, please, please,” he said over and over, the words running together.

Sean remembered the first time they managed that—an off day, Jack flat on his stomach as he let Sean play with his rim and ass for what’d felt like hours. Sean had been massaging him there when he heard Jack’s gasp against the sheet, felt him twitching. He’d rolled him over and been fascinated as he watched a steady stream of come leaking from his dick, pooling on his abs. He’d kept playing with him until Jack begged for his dick. After that, he’d worked damn hard to train the response into Jack’s body, had told Jack it was his new mission in life (aside from winning the Grand Final). Jack had smiled, ducked his head, shrugged like he was pretty okay with this new turn of events.

“Ya need my cock, baby?” Sean pulled his fingers out now.

Jack made a sound that could’ve been a yes, his wrists straining for a second against the cuffs.

Sean moved up the bed and reached over Jack’s head.

“What’re you doin’?” Jack slurred; there were tears in his eyes, a sheen of sweat over his throat, his face.

Sean met his eyes and tried to smile; he didn’t know why he was feeling nervous all of the sudden. He placed his hands on the cuffs and shook them.

“I want you to touch me,” he said.

Jack swallowed, his eyes sharpening before he said, “Yeah,” roughly. “Fuck, yeah.”

Sean unlocked the cuffs, slipped his hands free and Jack was on him, his big arms wrapping Sean up as he buried his face against his throat, licked the salty skin, his legs coming up to cradle Sean between his muscled thighs.

Sean fell back and pulled Jack on top of him, gripped the back of his neck and hauled him down for a kiss. He reached down for his dick as Jack lined himself up and slid down. Sean curled up, slid his arms around Jack’s back as Jack reached under Sean to hold him close. He ran his hands up and down the planes of his back as Jack rode him and Sean rolled his hips up to meet him. They pressed their foreheads together as they kissed and shared air.

In all the fucking they’d done, it’d never been quite like this—so close it was like they couldn’t stop touching, couldn’t get close enough.

Jack gasped into his mouth when Sean whispered, “You can come.”

And Jack did, his body going tight, his cock flexing and releasing between them.

Sean pressed a rough kiss to his cheekbone, his temple as he felt his balls draw up tight. He groaned at how good it felt, shoving his hips up to chase the feeling. They stayed tangled together, panting in the aftermath.

“Fuck me,” Jack breathed out as he collapsed on top of Sean and pressed them both back onto the mattress.

“Reckon I just did that,” Sean said and giggled.

Jack pulled back to look at him. Sean met his eyes and smiled. “That was different,” he said as he pushed Jack’s sweat-soaked hair off his face. “Ya good?”

“That was fuckin’ incredible,” Jack said, then laughed, disbelieving.

“I love the way ya do that,” Sean said and tucked Jack’s hair behind his ear, rested his hand on his nape.

“What?”

“Trust me,” Sean said.

Jack tilted his head to the side and smiled, and Sean still hadn’t got used to it—all of Jack here again, unencumbered, loose, fucking happy.

“I’ve always trusted you,” he said.

“Even when I was a cunt?” Sean asked and quirked his lips. He wouldn’t have trusted himself nor blamed Jack if he didn’t.

“Well, yeah,” Jack leaned down and rolled to the side, leaving his leg and arm over Sean’s torso. “‘Cos like, I always knew it was you, ya know? That same kid I met, and I knew he’d never hurt me. Not really.”

Sean rolled over so they were tangled together on their sides. “I’d say that’s pretty fuckin’ stupid,” he cupped the side of Jack’s face, studied this face he loved, had loved for over ten years and finished, “But I guess you’re not wrong. Couldn’t hate anyone as much as I hated you unless I loved them first.”

Jack nodded, pressed his face into Sean’s hand. “That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Sean cracked up and Jack grinned at him, pleased with himself.

“We’ll get it stitched on a pillow,” Sean decided.

And Jack laughed and as Sean watched the corners of his blue eyes crinkling, his broad chest heaving with it, he remembered how much he’d loved the sound of that too.