Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
‘And do you remember the time Leo nicked my car when he were fourteen and drove it round all the country lanes with his mate. What was your mate's name? The potato one…' Leo's Nana says.
‘Spud.'
‘Why was he called Spud again?'
‘Because he had a head shaped like a potato.'
And everyone around that table laughs and it really is the most joyous sound to hear them all, to see Leo so relaxed, but also to get a hint at how much this family all love each other.
‘He nicked your car?' I ask Leo's Nana. Leo's Nana is brilliant, her walker that she takes everywhere is decorated in tinsel and fairy lights and she's in a burgundy velour tracksuit with matching slippers, tight white curls to her head. What she lacks in physical speed, she makes up for in wit.
‘Don't know why mine. It were a rundown Citro?n, couldn't go more than forty most days. That's some shit joyride, to be fair.'
We all laugh, sitting around the huge Christmas table with our assigned vegetables. It's a really sweet tradition, the way today seems to be when everyone rallies together and gets the big day prepped. I've met so many family I've had to put names in my phone just so I'll remember everyone, but they shake my hand, hug me warmly and welcome me into their fold like, well, like I'm family. It's eight o'clock now and a group of us sit here, helping ourselves to a buffet selection on the counter, pouring cups of mulled wine and sharing stories and anecdotes. Inside other rooms, people get out tables, teenagers have been told to make place names and fold napkins, and they get chairs and stools from every room so we all have somewhere to sit. I have been given carrots to peel, two bags of them, and ordered to cut them into discs because we're common folk up here in the North, we don't want any of your fancy baton action. I look across the table to watch as Leo expertly peels potatoes and cuts them ready for roasting.
‘I know someone at the home called Maggie. She's a huge cheat at mahjong, mind,' Leo's Nana tells me. ‘Tell me about yourself. You in computers like our Leo here?'
‘I am,' I tell her. ‘Is it alright if I call you Nana too?' I ask her.
‘Oh, Nana, Nell…I don't mind one bit,' she tells me, putting a hand to mine. They've put her on Brussel sprouts, and she peels them, one by one, putting crosses at the bottom before throwing them in the pot. ‘Actually, when we're done here, Leo, can you have a look at my iPad. It's not working.'
‘Have you been looking at porn again, Nana?' Leo says and I laugh, covering my mouth.
‘Cheeky bugger. Don't need porn, plenty of hotties at the home.'
Sandy's face goes ashen to hear her mum talk, while her grandchildren roar with laughter.
‘Anyways, I've been told you and Leo are courting, is that right? '
‘Nana!' Leo exclaims. ‘You don't have to answer that, Maggie.'
‘It's fine,' I say, trying to not look anyone in the eye. ‘We've maybe just started seeing each other. See where it goes, eh?'
Leo's sister giggles while Leo shakes his head at his grandmother.
‘Well, that's lovely. You seem like a nice lass. You dated that girl at school, remember Leo? The artsy one with the blue hair? Never liked her.'
Sandy flaps her hands around to remember her. ‘No one liked her,' Sandy tells me. ‘Rude girl, always came in this house and her feet up on my pouffe with her shoes on.' The sisters continue to laugh while Leo looks down at his potatoes, resigned to the fact that this evening will mainly involve many of his most embarrassing life stories. I've already seen the bikini pictures though, I'm not really sure that much can top that.
‘And then she dumped Leo for a French exchange student in double denim and Leo cried for days. Do you remember, Gabby?' Claire shares with the group.
‘Oh god, the sad music on repeat. So much Fiona Apple…'
‘Fiona Apple?' I say, looking over to Leo, smirking.
‘Oh, he were raised by sisters…' Claire jests. ‘He loves himself a strong female singer-songwriter at heart.'
I look over to Leo. In a mere couple of hours, all his secrets have been revealed and I think he knew this would happen and doesn't seem to have any shame in it, which is refreshing. He's no longer the quiet, reliable one in the office but someone who's got this whole network of family, who's come alive in all these stories and it's like seeing someone in 3D for the first time.
‘Mum, just seen the time. We've got to get you to bed in a minute and get all your meds in,' Sandy tells Nana.
‘Such a shame…' she replies, looking at the clock. ‘I'm on day release you know?' she tells me. ‘For good behaviour. If I'm naughty, my ankle bracelet goes of f.'
‘That's not true, Mum,' Sandy replies.
‘It's not. I'll see you tomorrow, lovely Maggie, and all you monkey nuts too. You bought sherry, didn't you, Sandy?'
Sandy nods as she helps her pull her chair back from the table and she rolls out of the room. Claire looks over at me as I yawn, peeling and chopping my last carrot of the day. ‘Leo, maybe you two need to get some sleep too. You've had a long drive and she needs to rest to get better.'
‘Yeah, we've got to make a move too, Claire,' Gabby gestures to her sister. ‘The lads have messaged and kids are in their PJs but we're out of milk so they're all in high panic about what to leave Santa.'
‘Give the man a beer, I reckon,' Leo jokes.
‘Well, that's just irresponsible. Man's working, got a sleigh to drive,' Gabby tells him. They get up, surveying the table. ‘Parsnips are done, cauliflower chopped, swede hacked into chunks. Our work here is done.' They give each other high-fives as Claire comes over to her brother. She kisses the top of Leo's head. ‘Welcome home, chops. Maggie, a pleasure.'
‘Laters, Claire Bear, and you too, Gobby.'
Gabby snarls at him, lovingly before winking at me and dragging her sister away. ‘I'm sorry about them…' Leo tells me, stretching his arms over his head, his T-shirt riding up to reveal a slice of his stomach. There is still a minor thrill there to see it but I am really too tired to even consider it in this very crowded house.
‘I don't mind them at all.'
He seems to heave a sigh of relief to hear me say that. ‘So, I'm going with five roasties each,' Leo tells me, counting his potatoes carefully.
I smile to see him take his job so seriously. ‘Sounds perfect. If I see anyone with more than five then I will tell them off.'
He laughs in response, looking over at me.
‘Sorry to be a party pooper. Claire's right though, I am pretty drained. Even though I slept most of the car trip up. God, you must be wiped out too.'
He cocks his head from side to side, taking peelings and putting them in a large bin, moving around the kitchen to put knives and chopping boards in the sink. Is this sexy? It is. He moves a large dishcloth over a counter and it's possibly more of a turn-on than the slice of flesh I saw before. ‘It wouldn't be a bad idea to get some good kip before the madness tomorrow. Come on, let me show you the study.'
He leads me into the hallway and through to a small room off from the living room. In Jasper's house, the library had ladders to the shelves, a mahogany bureau and some ancient manuscript of a book in a glass box for display. In this house, it's shelves full of Lee Child, family photos and pen pots, an IKEA desk has been pushed back, a computer placed in the corner to make way for a pile of towels and bed linen, and some Christmas cross-stitched throw cushions. I hate to say it but this set up certainly feels more like what I'm used to in life. The airbeds are at angles on the floor so that one of us will have to sleep with our feet under a desk, our bags tucked into a corner.
‘Seriously, I know you had luxury at Jasper's so if this is not quite what you were expecting, I can see if Gabby has room for us? Or call a mate?'
I put a reassuring hand to Leo's arm. ‘It's totally fine. Cosy.'
‘That's one word for it.' He grabs at a sheet, flicking it open and encouraging me to take one end to help him make the beds.
‘So what do your mum and dad do?' I ask him.
‘Mum's always been a housewife and Dad works at a paper mill locally. First job he got out of school and he's been there ever since.' He pulls the fitted sheet elastic over the corners of the bed, pausing. ‘I never knew that about your mum and dad, by the way.'
‘Well, I never said anything. They're good people who've been through a lot, resilient to their core. If I made it sound like it was lonely, it wasn't. They have lots of mates. I think that's why I value my friendships a lot more in life.'
Leo nods, possibly understanding why I hold him, Jasper and Frank in such high esteem.
‘I'm sorry about my uncle Rich,' he continues.
‘The singing one in the living room?'
‘Yeah, he'll be good value though after pudding when he's had a few jars. He'll sing, dance, he'll have a good old go on the charades.'
We move on to duvet covers and pillowcases. Given we've worked together for so long, we do seem to understand how the other works quite instinctively, but there is some domesticity involved here that seems quite sweet. He throws me a pillow and I catch it.
‘And the nickname "chops"?' I enquire.
‘I was a proper chunky toddler. It refers to the size of my thighs,' he says, cringing. ‘I can't believe it stuck. You'll hear my older nephews call me that too.'
‘You never mentioned there were so many of them,' I say. I won't lie, having all these children about does feel like how Christmas should be and you can tell Sandy is ecstatic they are all around. They range in age from four to fourteen and Leo seems to have relationships with all of them, knowing if they've recently got a reading badge, scored a goal or chosen their GCSEs. I can't help but be impressed.
‘Well, I didn't tell you about the bikini either,' he laughs. I better not let slip that I took a picture of the photo with my phone and sent it to Frank. He's told me he's going to put that photo on their fridge.
Beds made, I open up my bag to retrieve pyjamas and a toothbrush and Leo leads me to the downstairs bathroom to clean up. What I love most about this house is how there are photos everywhere. In a lighthouse frame on a shelf by the window is a family photo of old where they seem to be on holiday. It shows Leo with what looks like a perm. I need to make a mental note to come back and take a photo of this one too. As I wash my face, I look into the mirror and feel an amazing sense of being at home. The flush of feeling ill has been taken away by the painkillers and drugs I've taken but also a warmth that the next few days will be fine. Leo is here, all will be fine.
When I return to the room, however, I find Leo has made the beds but also stands there in just his pants. He looks over at me and my very sensible tartan pyjamas. I try not to let my smile overtake my face. I always knew he had a body under his clothes but there's something about seeing his legs out, the shape of his bum through his underwear, the curve of his shoulders.
‘I can't sleep in pyjamas, I get too warm,' he says, trying to ensure that he's not stripped for any other purpose than his own comfort.
‘It's minus three outside,' I inform him.
‘That's what the duvet is for. I'll take the bed that's half under the desk,' he tells me, smiling. I notice he's arranged things so our pillows are near each other. We both settle into our beds, arranging duvets. Sandy was right, these are very comfortable mattresses. As I lie there looking up at the ceiling, a hand taps me on the forehead. Leo has rolled to his front. ‘It's Christmas Eve,' he tells me excitedly.
I roll onto my front too. ‘That's why we should sleep or Santa won't come.' I giggle at both of us, grown adults, propped up as if we're going to talk well into the night like we're on a sleepover. There won't be any shenanigans happening here tonight, that's for sure, I don't think the room or angles will allow for it. He reaches over and takes a lock of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
‘I'm glad you're here. Even if you are wearing grandma pyjamas,' he jokes, and I shake my head at him.
‘I learned my lesson at Jasper's. I wore a reindeer onesie and nearly got shot by hunters.' Leo laughs. ‘I'll save the lingerie for New Year's.'
‘You will, will you?' he says, grinning.
He leans over and brings his face to meet mine, kissing me gently. Long enough so I can understand the intention but short enough that it doesn't feel inappropriate in his parents' house. He has a hand on the back of my head, running his fingers through my hair, then rests his forehead against mine.
‘Can I say something?' I ask him.
‘Go on.'
‘You seem different up here. More relaxed perhaps? More yourself.'
‘I guess that's the effect of families, isn't it?' he replies.
‘But it's so beautiful here. It's obviously home to you. And London is so far away. Why did you move?'
He looks down at his hands for a moment. ‘Well, it's the country, innit? For our industry, there's not a lot of work here. I'd have to move to a bigger city for that. Manchester was another option but the pay's better in London and I needed more money.'
‘How come?'
He looks hesitant to say why. ‘My Nana's been in a home for a couple of years now and the fees stack up so I send home as much as I can to fund that.'
‘Leo…' I say softly.
‘Gabby and Claire have their own families to worry about, I can't have it fall on just Mum and Dad, so it makes sense.'
Emotion softens my brow to hear that he does that, for so many reasons.
‘You are amazing,' I whisper. ‘And you peel potatoes incredibly well too. Is there anything wrong with you that I'm not aware of?'
‘I snore,' he tells me.
‘Well, we're all allowed one thing. I have hairy feet. '
‘That you do.' He reaches over me to turn off a lamp, using it as a final opportunity to hover over me and give me one last kiss. ‘Go rest now, boss. Santa can hear you, you know.'
The room goes dark but I feel a hand reach out, laying itself gently in mine. I lie there for a moment and try to process it all. It's Christmas Eve. I should be buzzing with excitement but instead feelings of confusion overwhelm me. Leo's job funds his Nana's retirement home fees, Jasper's job helps him build independence for himself outside a family who see him as some sort of black sheep, Frank's job is all he knows, the only way he can define himself as an adult. And I'm going to have to make one of them redundant. I listen to Leo slowly slipping into a light purr of a snore not knowing how I'm going to do that at all.