Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

‘Maggie? Maggie?' I open my eyes to see that the car has stopped and adjust my vision to see that we're in a motorway services' car park. In the car, the soft melodies of Dean Martin play and I wipe at the corners of my mouth just in case I've been drooling. I lift my head up from against the car window, wondering why it's so warm in here. I run a finger around my neckline and take off my beanie, aware that the hair situation underneath will mostly be frizz and tangles. I try to think what I last remembered. We got in Leo's red Toyota Aygo, I joked it was a grandma car, he told me he only trusted Japanese engineering. We meandered our way out of London's brightly lit streets until we hit the motorway to make our way north and all the while we listened to Christmas music on the radio, shared travel sweets, laughs and knowing looks, before I popped a couple of pills and told Leo I was going to have a nap.

‘Where are we?' I mumble.

‘North of Birmingham. You were pretty sparko. How you feeling now?' he asks, turning towards me, his eyes full of concern.

I don't know how to tell him that I think I'm definitely coming down with something but I am suddenly distracted by the windows outside. ‘Fuck, is that…snow?' I look at the ground outside, covered in a sparse dusting of powder, as it continues to float through the air.

‘Yeah, it started properly coming down half an hour ago. Let's see if it settles though. Thought it was time for a pit stop,' he tells me, patting down his jacket, looking for his wallet and phone.

I try and rearrange myself and wake up completely, sitting up. ‘I'm sorry, I'm a crappy travel companion. Did I have my mouth open?'

‘Yeah, but its fun trying to throw M&Ms in there,' he jokes. ‘It's fine. You looked tired, I didn't mind. Fancy a coffee maybe?'

I nod and step out of the car, a blast of cold air hitting me, and I pull my hat over my head again. I look down at my hand, it still hurts so I pull a glove over it. It's Christmas. Illness is not permitted, especially when I'm doing something as important as meeting Leo's family, so I just need to keep it warm, hydrate, mind over matter and all that shit. I pull my coat up around my neck, looking at the buzz of activity at the services as people obviously try to make their way home for Christmas.

I feel Leo's arm thread through mine as we head towards the bright lights of the services. ‘You OK?' he asks, as we traverse the car park.

I nod, trying to work out what this feeling is. It's all in your head, Maggie. Maybe I need a dram of brandy to kill whatever's brewing inside me. But for now, coffee it is. As we get through the doors of the services, the throng of people inside is quite a thing. It's a mix of people in Christmas jumpers, hats and antlers, doing their best to remain fuelled for journeys ahead. But there's a sense of tension as well, as people have endured each other for hours, stressed couples carting their children to the toilets and shops and restaurants with empty-eyed staff, doing their best to muster some festive spirit for their customers.

‘I'm just headed to the loo…' I tell Leo, separating myself from him while he signals that he will get the drinks.

‘Hazelnut latte?' he asks and I smile because we both know our coffee orders and it feels nice to have all that minutiae that you usually have to uncover about a potential partner out there in the open. It's nice to have someone who knows you that well. ‘Done, see you in a bit.'

Naturally, the ladies' toilets have developed quite the queue and I get into a line that winds all the way out into a strangely placed arcade that is empty bar one little girl at a claw machine desperately trying to win a reindeer-shaped plushie. In front of me is a mum with a family of three girls, all wearing jingle bells sweaters and leggings, one of whom jumps on the spot, putting her hands over herself to, I guess, try to keep the pee from coming out.

‘Mummy, if Sofia pees herself then I am not sitting next to her in the car,' one of the girls says in a leaning Northern tone.

The mum looks at her daughter and sighs, looking like she's carrying the weight of some serious Christmas stress on her shoulders, this journey to wherever she's going being the bare minimum of what's she's going through over the holidays. I reach into my pockets.

‘Hi, I hope you don't mind but would the girls like a sweet while they wait?' The girls look up at me, their eyes drawn to the sugar in my hands. I hope their mum doesn't think I'm weird. My pockets are literally full of confectionery that I brought for the road trip and I'm hoping this might distract the youngest of the bunch who may pee at my feet, and that won't be fun for anyone. She looks at the sweets curiously, realising they're Starburst all wrapped and watches as I put one in my mouth as well to show her they're safe.

‘Thank you,' she says, sighing and smiling at one.

‘Mummy gets one too, yeah?' I ask the girls. ‘I reckon she's been the bestest this year.' Their mum smiles to at least get the acknowledgement, taking a purple one from my hand. I hope you have a husband and he's bought you something nice.

‘What do we say to the nice lady?' she says to the girls, and there's a chorus of thank yous.

‘Have a nice Christmas,' one of them chirps at me.

‘I'll try…' I tell them, temporarily warmed to think of the next couple of days ahead.

Not wanting to seem rude, I then turn to the woman behind me to offer her a sweet too. It's Christmas, why not? Surely the season calls for small moments of goodwill amongst the madness. The woman looks about the same age as me, her brown hair bundled on top of her head and a scarf wrapped messily around her neck.

‘I will not say no, thank you,' she says, taking the sweet from my hand. ‘Don't you just love these queues?' she harumphs, as we edge forward, the sound of the hand dryers getting ever closer.

‘I reckon we should always have queues for degrees of urgency. Green lane for kids who really need to go…'

‘Brown lane for the emergencies and those who might shit themselves,' she says, chewing her strawberry Starburst and chuckling to herself. I laugh in return. ‘Not me, by the way. I'm just making sure I empty my bladder before we get snowed in.'

We both look out to the large windows to see the snow now falling a bit more steadily, people coming in from the cold with snowflakes settled on their hats and coat shoulders. ‘You think it might go that way?'

‘Who knows with the British weather, but I quite like the idea of a white Christmas,' she tells me. ‘Where are you headed?'

‘The Lakes. You?'

‘My fiancé and I have been in York for a couple of days, now headed back to London. You visiting family?' she asks, noting my southern accent .

I hesitate to know how to answer. ‘Not really. I'm tagging along with a friend. Actually more than a friend. We've started…I mean…it's very new. His family live up there.'

She smiles to herself. ‘So you've just started going out and you're meeting his family? That's a semi-big deal.'

‘Kind of.' I haven't really thought about the impact of what meeting all of Leo's nearest and dearest will mean. Are we going to tell his family we're a thing? Because that's pretty soon. I might need to stay awake in the car to entertain an honest discussion about all of this. ‘I've bought a lot of bottles of Baileys, hoping it may set me in good stead with them though.'

‘Well, that is an excellent start,' she says, as we pace forward. ‘So this relationship, how new are you talking?'

‘Two days?'

She laughs. It is ridiculous when you do think of it, how quickly this has snowballed into a potential love but there is something that also feels very right about it all.

‘Is it like one of those one-night stand things that has just escalated into something more?' she says, a bit too excitedly.

‘Not really. I've known him for four years, we work together.'

Her smile goes high-beam at this point and she nods. ‘I like that. A lot. And what better time to get together with someone than at Christmas. I got together with my fella at Christmas to be fair.'

‘Really?'

‘Yeah, it's a long story but I found him on Christmas Day and told him how I felt and we've been together ever since,' she says, a lovely glow about her face to recall the event. I like hearing it but don't know how to reciprocate that my dalliance with Leo really started when I got blind drunk on tequila and snogged him messily on his bed.

‘That's a very cool story,' I say noticing a very unique gold engagement ring on her finger. I'd ask for more detail if we weren't queuing for the toilet but I like the peace that shines in her face to talk of her love.

‘I blame Christmas though,' she laughs. ‘It's that loved-up emotion of the season, it's in the air. It's hard to not get caught up in all of it.'

‘I bet you're glad you did though,' I say.

‘I certainly do. He's one of life's good guys,' she grins.

I pause to hear that as I know what she means. Sometimes it's nice to welcome someone into your life with such clarity. I've not dated a huge number of blokes but the one thing I've learned is: always go for the good guy.

‘Well, have a lovely trip, I hear it's beautiful up in the Lakes.'

‘Thank you. Merry Christmas…?' I say, leaving a space for her to say her name.

‘Eve.'

‘Fitting,' I say, given the day. ‘You hear that a lot, don't you?'

She laughs and nods. ‘Possibly.'

‘I'm Maggie.'

‘Well, good luck, Maggie. I hope it all goes very well for both of you.' There is a kindness to Eve's face that is all in her eyes. I'm glad I gave her a sweet. I offer her another one.

The queue edges forward, lines of mirrors revealing themselves to me. Women coming out of cubicles and seeing their tired expressions, widening and closing their eyes while they wash their hands. There is nothing glamorous about this place at all but I see one woman prop a make-up bag next to a sink to at least try. The little girl in front of me sees a cubicle free up and runs in, just in time. A door opens and I step forward into a cubicle. The first thing I do is examine my thumb, peeling back the plaster. Yeah, that does not look right. It's hugely inflamed. There was me trying to do my thing for animal rights and my little fox friend has possibly given me some awful disease. Never mind drinking some brandy, perhaps I need to soak my thumb in it. I'm getting rabies, aren't I? I'll be a side column in the newspapers. First woman to die of rabies in England . I'd at least be famous but what a tragic end to my burgeoning love story with Leo. How Shakespearean. I lean my head against the cubicle door, wondering how to sort this out. Maybe I should pee first.

When I do get out amongst the throng of people rushing through the services, I notice Leo sitting by the window, beanie still on his head. There are two coffees on the table, alongside two very immaculately iced Christmas cookies. There is something that brightens me when I see him now, a smile I can't quite stop radiating. ‘You take me to all the best places,' I tell him, sitting down opposite him.

‘You say that but I just beat off an old lady for this window seat,' he informs me.

‘You beat off who now?' I jest and he chokes as he sips on his coffee.

I go to pick up my cup, waggling my thumb around and he notices the plaster. ‘All OK there?'

‘I think so,' I say and he reads the concern in my face. ‘Think I need to give it a good clean. It's a bit sore.'

‘Infection?'

‘Possibly. There are pharmacies in the Lakes, right?'

‘Yes. We have running water and phones up there too.'

I peel back the plaster and he grimaces a bit to see it. That's not a good face.

‘You also said you had a fever. Do I need to WebMD this?' he asks, grabbing a used coffee stirrer to prod it a bit. ‘Is that tender?'

I suck air through my teeth, half-laughing to see Leo's expert doctor skills at play. ‘I mean, what's the worst that could happen?'

‘You could lose your thumb and then you'd be redundant to us in IT. '

I fake a smile, thinking about his choice of words. ‘The hope, however, is that the little fox bit me and has now passed on his special powers to me.'

‘Special fox powers?' he asks me, amused.

‘Yes, I'd be good at going through bins and invading people's trampolines.'

‘Orange catsuit,' Leo adds.

‘Exactly,' I say po-faced.

‘Here, hold still,' he tells me and he uses his phone to take a picture of it.

‘I hope you're turning that into your Christmas card this year,' I ask him, watching him text someone.

‘Nope, I'm sending it over to my sister, she's a pharmacist. She'll know what to do and she can get us some good drugs.'

‘Amen to that. A pharmacist?' I enquire.

‘Claire. The other, Gabby, owns a farm shop,' he says, stills typing. ‘She is the reason our cheeseboard will be extraordinary tomorrow.' I nod as he finishes messaging and looks up at me. I know you but there's still a lot to find out. Like if his sister does homemade jams and chutneys in cute jars then I would like to go there. He breaks off a bit of biscuit and hands it to me. ‘Here, make sure you eat and drink at least. Do you need any painkillers?'

I like the concern and care in his face, and quite randomly I think back to moments in the office when he was always like this yet I hadn't seen it back then. Times when I'd be struggling with workload and he'd send me a meme about higher management to make me laugh or others when he'd sense I was a tad menstrual and leave random chocolate on my desk. I nibble on the biscuit as he looks over my shoulder.

‘See? I'm not the only one who does dates at a services,' Leo says, urging me to turn around. Across the way, a couple sit at another table, tucking into a Burger King and both wearing crowns. Sweet. I look at the woman at the table and recognise her as the person from the toilet queue. Eve. That must be her fiancé. ‘That's some high romance right there.'

‘Quite randomly, I spoke to her in the toilet actually. Her name is Eve,' I tell him.

‘Fitting.'

‘That's what I said.'

Eve notices me from across the way and waves, whispering something to her fiancé – a handsome man with brown hair, the sort that looks like he knows what a gym is. She obviously says something funny and they both laugh. Hopefully not at us because they're the ones wearing Burger King crowns in the middle of a crowded services. I watch as her fiancé puts a hand to hers, affectionately, over their onion rings.

‘They met at Christmas actually. That's what she told me,' I say turning back to Leo.

‘Did he charm her with his Whopper?' he replies, and I laugh so hard that I snort a quite attractively.

‘Apparently, she told him how she felt on Christmas Day,' I inform him.

‘I get that. It's the "Frankie Goes to Hollywood" effect, isn't it?'

‘Because you're more relaxed at Christmas?' I answer.

He laughs. ‘"The Power of Love".' He's said the word, not me. I mean I did allude to our kids back in London but the l-word is different territory. I see his cheeks blush to realise that himself.

‘Well, they're now engaged,' I tell him, signalling back to Eve and her fella. Yet again, Leo doesn't look fazed. He's so certain about this, isn't he? He says nothing but smiles and looks out of the window, sipping his coffee. Outside the snow has started to settle and we watch as flurries of flakes drift across the window. I always love the silence of snow, the way you can't hear it land on the ground but it lights up the ground and shadows around us .

‘Winter is coming,' Leo says, his blue eyes looking up at the clouds.

‘Alright then, Ned Stark…' I joke.

He smiles broadly. We're geeks. Game of Thrones jokes are the norm but he has no idea he's made himself a thousand times more attractive to me.

‘Let's get you to the North then, boss,' he says, grinning.