Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

‘More coffee?' Miles's mother, Sally, asks me, and I nod, trying to get the circulation back in all my extremities. Naturally, when meeting company for the first time, you don't really want to be seen in a onesie but here we are. I've been given an extra blanket for my shoulders and I sit in front of the fire, watching my new baby fox mates snuggling together in a basket. I don't know if this makes me your mother now but I feel like I need to name you. I look around the cottage Carmel has driven me to on the outskirts of the estate. I like its cosy interiors, the coffee pot on the stove, how bunches of dried flowers hang from the rafters. In the corner, a modest Christmas tree is decorated in homemade felt decorations and you can imagine, when it snows, the white drifts on the fields must make for quite an idyllic setting. Sally pours me another cup and throws another log on the fire.

‘God, they're bloody cute. Thank god, the dogs didn't get to them,' she says, peering into the basket. ‘More coffee, Carmel?'

‘Always Sal – thanks, lovely.'

There's a friendship and respect there that I like, and I watch as Sally puts a hand to Carmel's shoulder. She gets out a plate of star-shaped sugar cookies and I help myself. This will be a good base for the amazing cooked breakfast Jasper will make me later.

‘Well, I've texted Jasper and he's headed over this way with Miles. I've told them you are safe,' Carmel says.

‘And when everyone's disappeared, my husband will go back and make sure the cubs are reunited with their mother,' Sally reassures me. I'm glad to hear it. As cute as they are, I wasn't sure this lot were willing to relocate to London to live with me.

‘Thank you,' I say, biting into a cookie. ‘I need to ask – it feels like Jasper and Miles quite like to sabotage the hunts?' I ask.

Sally and Carmel laugh at each other. ‘It's a huge source of contention in the family. Jasper and Miles detest it. They used to spend their teens as saboteurs, winding Cressida and Albert up.'

‘They used to hide in the trees,' Sally tells me. ‘They got T-shirts printed. It was how they bonded really.'

Carmel looks to Sally and I study both of their faces. ‘So it feels like you two are friends, maybe?' I ask them, trying to change the subject.

‘How much has Jasper told you about me?' Carmel asks.

‘Very little,' I say.

‘Well, the reason Cressida and Albert dislike me so much is that I used to be a housekeeper on the estate. They still hold some suspicion over me and my relationship with their father.'

‘I'm sorry to hear that.'

‘We married long after their mother passed but it's why they're so vile to Jasper.'

‘They also don't like that she's actually common as muck,' Sally says.

‘Oh, speak for yourself, you old cow,' she replies, laughing.

I nod, taking it all in. All of it makes perfect sense though I don't know how I could live like that, to have all that hate and negativity within a family.

‘Jasper told me about the estate and the inheritance issues,' I mention.

‘Well, that would be a problem if I married for money. I certainly didn't,' she tells me smiling and, perhaps despite all those family issues in the background, at least her conscience remains clear. ‘I do worry about Jasper though, he bears the brunt of a lot of it. Tell me, how is he at work? Honestly?'

‘He's very good. Occasionally a bit grumpy…' I say.

‘Oh dear, grumpy in a bad way?' Carmel asks. ‘He's got a heart of gold, really.'

‘I've grown to love it completely. I take the mick out of him all the time. I like how he sticks up for other people and himself.'

‘That sounds like my Jassy,' she says proudly. ‘He does like his job. And you. He does talk about you, Frank and Leo all the time.' I smile to hear it. ‘His job gives him peace, to be fair. I think he worries about a time when Henry won't be around and then we'd be cut off, I guess.'

‘Seriously?' I say, difficult work decisions that teeter in the back of my mind, coming to the fore again.

‘We live off the spoils of all of this for now but who knows what the future may hold?' she says solemnly. ‘But at least he has Miles too. I am grateful for that much,' she says, her face perking up.

‘So they've been together a while then?' I ask.

‘Best friends, stuck together like glue from the time they were born. Through their teens, I pieced together it was possibly more and I ensured Miles was a feature in our family to support that. They admitted it to us around the time they were seventeen and so, yes, you could say they've been together for life,' Carmel tells me. I can't help but smile to think that behind my eccentric workmate is someone with such an epic love story, but I'm equally warmed to know they have their mothers' support, that some family members aren't so cruel about who they are.

‘We are dying for them to be able to be more open though. We want a wedding for a start,' Sally says. ‘We've already chosen hats,' she tells me, proudly.

‘Well, I want an invite when that happens,' I say, putting a hand to the air.

‘Of course,' Carmel tells me. ‘It wouldn't be the same without the famous Maggie there.'

‘Famous?'

‘Oh, those boys in that office adore you. You're goddess level to them.'

I smile awkwardly, in my onesie, blushing a little.

‘How are things going with Leo, by the way? Has that happened yet?' Carmel asks casually.

I sit there for a moment as she studies my expression and has a giggle. ‘How…?'

‘Jasper and I like a weekly catch-up,' she says sipping at her tea.

‘Is there someone in the mix?' Sally asks.

‘A lad in their office…' Carmel tells her and I laugh, incredulous that these two lovely ladies are gossiping about me right in front of my face. ‘He's been in love with her for like, forever.'

‘No, he hasn't!' I shriek. They both jerk back at the volume of my retort. The fox cubs look up at me curiously. ‘I'm sorry – what?'

‘Jasper and Frank have known for a while. It's their little in-joke. They keep telling him to make a move but he never wants to cross the line.'

‘Leo? Leo who works in the office?'

‘Is there another Leo?' Sally asks.

‘No. But…We only just…You're telling me for how long?' I say, trying to piece everything together in my head .

‘Well, long enough that I know about it. Did something finally happen?' Carmel asks me with wide, curious eyes.

‘I mean, the other night we may have…we had a long conversation and things may have progressed.' I had an orgasm on the phone to him, Carmel. He saw things, I saw things.

Carmel claps her hands. ‘Ooooh, that is exciting! How wonderful, at Christmas too. Was it a kiss?' Sally also sits down with her mug to take in the detail.

‘Not quite. But there was intention and other stuff…' Sally and Carmel try to work out what that means without me having to spell it out. ‘I just can't work out where I stand now…'

‘How come?' Sally asks me.

‘I messaged him. He's seen the message but not replied. I can't work out what he's thinking,' I tell them. I don't quite know why I'm telling two strangers my woes, but given one of them knew that Leo had a giant crush on me for longer than he let on, I think they might be able to give me good advice. ‘If he's liked me for so long then why hold back, why play it cool?'

‘He could be in shock it's actually happening,' Sally suggests. ‘Maybe he doesn't want to appear too keen and scare you off.'

Lovely Sally with the cookies has a good point.

‘Perhaps he's revelling in the glow of it all,' Carmel tells me. ‘Floating on cloud nine, he's having some delirious episode where he's lost track of all space and time.' Unlikely but I smile broadly to hear Carmel talk of it with such animation. ‘Why don't you take the lead? Do you like him in that way?' she asks me.

Bar all the complications in the background, the problem is I think I do. I nod and they both grin at me. ‘Then don't wait for him to reply. Open up the conversation,' Carmel says. ‘Oooh, send him a picture of you and the foxies. What better way to grab his attention?'

‘But I'm dressed like this. He'll think I'm mad, like I've gone out into the country and suddenly gone feral.' Like those kids who are brought up by wolves.

They both laugh. ‘But just look at them…' Sally says and we all look down into the basket. ‘He'll also think it's adorable. We can put you by the tree and it'll look festive. He'll have to reply.'

Carmel is clapping again. She goes over to the fireplace where the fox cubs look at her curiously. Were we rescued for our own safety or for the photo ops? She carries it to the tree and beckons me over.

‘Come…sit at the front,' she instructs me, putting a tartan blanket to my lap as I cross my legs. ‘Aren't you the cutest little butter bean?' I'll assume she isn't talking about me as she takes each cub in turn and places them on me. They all squirm, trying to get comfortable, clambering for space. I reach in my pocket and hand her my phone. She backs away from us slowly, making purring kissing noises to get the foxes' attention. ‘This way, look at Aunty Carmel. Everyone say foxy!'

‘Foxy!' I say. The cubs don't respond obviously, though they are supremely confused. I place them back in the box carefully but one of them takes my thumb in his mouth and gives it a sharp but swift bite. ‘Oww,' I yelp. ‘Don't be doing that, tiny one.' He squawks back at me and I pull an angry face at him, getting a tissue from my pocket and wrapping it around my thumb.

Carmel scurries over to show me the picture. I can't lie, it's very cute. I do look like I've just birthed them though but their blue eyes and fluffy faces peer over my knees and the edge of the blanket and I manage to look happy and presentable despite the hour and my lack of make-up. ‘Go on, send it!'

‘Only the picture?' They both nod. They watch as I open up his contact, my thumb hovering over the buttons. Why not, eh? I press Send and we all sit there looking at my phone. The ticks turn green on the message. Sally is hugely excited on my behalf and does a jig in that corner of that room. But nothing. It's like yesterday. He opened the message, he read the message and then he ignored me. Ghosted me. I'm supposed to be spending a few days with you from tomorrow. Please don't make this awkward. I'll have to cancel. I can set myself up at home, no worries. Maybe I'll live in the woods with my new fox family. Carmel senses that I'm disappointed and puts a hand to my shoulder.

‘Maybe he's just got up…it's very early…maybe…'

But then three dots appear to tell us he's typing. Sally yelps and a fox cub cries in reply.

Is that Jasper's family then?

‘Cheeky but I'll forgive him that,' Carmel says.

Very cute xx

‘Ask him if he meant you or the cubs?' Sally says.

‘Send him a fox emoji and then a heart?' Carmel suggests.

But I sit there smiling, exhaling a huge sigh of relief. The ice has been broken. He's not angry. He's not ignoring me. There will have been a good reason he didn't message back. I stand up so they can't see what I type next but they both stand there arm-in-arm, beaming at me.

Still on for tomorrow?

Sure thing. Will the foxes be joining us? I don't know what foxes eat.

It's Christmas. Pigs in blankets and mince pies.

I'll get some in. Can't wait x

Ditto x

I hold my phone to my chest, unable to contain the giant smile creeping across my face and the three of us jump up and down in a circle, holding arms, the foxes squawking at us as the door of the cottage opens. Jasper and Miles stand by the door, looking in.

‘What on earth?' Jasper says, exasperated. Miles can't help but smile though.

‘Leo texted back, Leo texted back,' Carmel tells him, clapping with excitement.

He shakes his head at me.

‘And you knew the whole time?' I ask him. ‘That he liked me?'

‘Possibly. Please tell me those aren't foxes in that basket…' he tells me.

‘Yes. That naughty one is called Jasper,' I say, pointing to the one who bit me.

‘Then he's my favourite,' he says, smiling.