Chapter 10

TEN

‘You did such a good job, well done!' a gentleman in a fetching red waistcoat tells me, as I sip at my glass of champagne in this very festive hotel lobby. Damn this dress, seriously. It's made me look super desperate, like I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid so I'll just show up in the exact same dress and pretend to be one. Like when people wear white or have their boobs on display at weddings to upstage the bride.

‘Thank you,' I tell him to try and save face, moving the holly decoration from the rim of my glass so I don't hurt myself.

That was possibly the most tense forty-five minutes of my life, walking down that aisle (leaving cousin Andrea to walk on her own) and having to stand on the steps of that altar for the whole time, all the bridal party double-taking to see me there. I didn't stick around for the photos but found my coat and put it firmly back on. The problem was, once we got off the double-decker bus (which was lovely by the way – it was also a guided tour for those visiting London and there were snacks onboard), we were ushered into this grand hotel and I had to give up my coat to the cloakroom. So now I'm standing here hiding behind a grand Christmas tree swathed in lights and red ribbons, the imposter bridesmaid who doesn't really know anyone here. I lost Frank after the ceremony to photos and usher duties, though I meant what I said to him, today is not a day for him to worry about me.

‘Kueh Pie Tee?' a waiter asks me.

I look down at the platter in front of me to see little crispy cups piled with prawns and julienned vegetables. ‘I think so, yes?' I tell him. The food is slightly unfamiliar but I've been brave and tried it all. The satay with the peanut dipping sauce was next level so I may have overindulged and people know this all too well, as I now stand here with six empty wooden skewers in my hand. Maybe I can hide them in this tree?

‘It's a classic Singaporean dish, it's very tasty,' a voice pops up behind me and I turn to see Norah standing there. ‘I thought I'd come over. Figured you wouldn't know too many people here?'

‘That would be correct,' I say, biting into the canapé. She is correct, it's very tasty but messy and falls apart in the same way a taco does. I wipe away at bits of coriander around my lip. ‘That is good.'

‘You did an excellent job, by the way. Being a bridesmaid. I hope I'm not being too forward, but haven't you only started going out with Frank?' she asks me.

‘Oh, let's just say it was a terrible case of wearing the wrong dress in the wrong crowd and the next thing I knew, I had a bouquet and someone was pushing me down the aisle,' I tell her and she giggles. ‘An unfortunate case of twinning. Does it make me look sad and desperate?' I ask her.

She shakes her head, smiling. She reaches into something draped over her bag. ‘Here, have this…' she says handing over a silk embroidered bolero. ‘It won't keep you warm but maybe it'll help hide the dress?' she tells me.

‘I-I…' I'm basically holding too many things. Champagne, clutch and evidence that I've eaten my fair share of canapés, so I re st everything on the floor for a moment to try it on. It is perfect and I feel a tad emotional about the gesture. ‘Really?'

‘Really,' she says beaming. ‘So is this your first Asian wedding?'

I bend down to pick up my things. ‘Yes. It was quite…'

‘ Crazy Rich Asians ?' she says, laughing.

‘With birds?' I add.

I am not sure I will ever experience a wedding ceremony like that again. As the bride made her entrance, birds were released into the church. Could have been doves, could have been pigeons for all I know, but most of the congregation ducked, arms to their heads, as they all swooped in.

‘They were trained, apparently,' she tells me.

I laugh. I'm not sure how you train a dove, but I think I saw one poo in the baptismal font. As the bride made her way through the flurry of feathers a choir stood to attention and sang an Adele song, which I guess is fitting because of her name, but maybe less so when you think that the other Adele usually sings about how a man has done one over on her. I'd only ever seen pictures of Adele but she was a picture-perfect bride, swathed in lace, and everyone took a huge intake of breath to see her appear at the door of the church, backlit by the pale winter sun.

‘Classic San event, all a bit extra shall we say?' she says, smiling.

‘I don't get that vibe off Frank though,' I tell her.

‘Oh, he's the normal one in that family. Regina, Adele and his other sister, Ashley are all about the Louis Vuitton, the nails, the aesthetic. I've had lunches that have been wholly set up so I can meet their new handbags.'

I smile broadly. Normal is not the word I'd usually associate with Frank, so I'm glad that's something she sees in him. I'm not sure this grand event is very Frank either, so it's good to hear her mock rather than aspire to it .

‘And what about his father?' I ask, realising I've never asked about him.

She jerks her head back, trying to work out what I know. ‘So the man who walked Adele down the aisle is an uncle. Frank's dad was Uncle Felix. He died when Frank was eleven. I thought he would have said something as you're…you know, dating?'

Oh shit. Yes, that would have come up at some point. Panic is met by some sadness though that Frank has never mentioned it. I imagine a life where he was brought up by three strong women, not that strong women are a bad thing, but three of them would have most certainly diminished Frank's light in some way.

I try and cover my tracks. ‘God, I did know that. I just…He never talks about his dad much.'

‘They were really close. They had the same sense of humour. He still has that. He's very dry and I don't think his mum and sisters know how to respond to it,' she explains.

‘You are right, he is funny. And I hope this doesn't sound mean but…quite sheltered?'

She shakes her head. ‘You'd be right. Whereas I went to MIT, he stayed close in Imperial, down the road from his mum.'

‘Was that Regina's doing?' I enquire.

‘Not at all. I guess Adele and Ashley had moved out into the world by that point and I think he didn't want to leave his mum on her own.' I listen carefully as she speaks as there is real emotion there when she talks about him. It feels like pride, admiration, like she knows the very bones of his story and the person he is, whereas I sometimes only see him in caricature. ‘I am glad he's spreading his wings a bit more though. He has his job, his own place, he's found you and you seem really nice,' she continues.

‘That's kind, thank you.' Her words stake at the heart of me to know that really out of all those three, the job hangs in the balance, he's technically in a house share, and I don't really exist – not as his girlfriend, anyway. I don't know where he fits into all this wealth on show but you'd never guess it from knowing him. I know he buys those cheap Puma socks in multipacks from Sports Direct – he gets overly excited by loyalty points and meal deals.

I want to ask, to dig more, because there is something mildly intriguing to me about Norah and how she talks about Frank, but there is a sudden loud clanging noise, the beat of a resounding drum and through the doors of the room, two Chinese lion dancers leap in, snaking through the room. It's certainly loud and there's an amusing sass to how the lions shake their rear ends. I like how the drummers that follow them round are keeping it seasonal and wearing reindeer antlers. Another set of doors opens to the main reception hall and we follow the lions through. Gosh. If I thought the church was something, this room feels almost movie-scale epic; I feel dwarfed and humbled by its magnificence. Every table has its own Christmas tree to the centre, place names are set by personalised baubles, the chairs are wrapped in gold ribbon. This is awful and very unlike me but I'm dying to see the favours now. There is a line of people at the entrance, including the bride and groom, and I realise we are all shaking hands with them and greeting them as we go in. It would be good for Frank to be here, right now, but I like how Norah keeps me close. As we approach, I think about what I need to say. Do I thank them? Congratulate them? Compliment them? I get to the groom.

‘You're the groom!' I say. I'll just state the bleeding obvious instead. ‘I'm Maggie. The ceremony was beautiful,' I tell him. I've said too much, the people in the queue are getting angsty. I move on to the bride, Adele.

‘Hi, Adele!'

‘Who are you?' she asks.

‘Maggie. Frank's… '

I don't get a chance to say anything as an old lady pushes me in the back.

I turn. ‘Mrs San…'

‘It's Regina. Why were you walking…?'

But again, I am moved on. That was short and brief and chaotic. The lion still leads the way, dancing to a dancefloor in the middle of the room, dry ice being pumped in from somewhere as Norah and I head to the table plan in the corner.

‘See what I mean?' Norah says and I smile to see the tables are all named after fashion houses. Look at me in Armani for the first time ever in my life. ‘Hey, we're on the same table!' she says with some excitement, possibly happy she doesn't have to babysit her grandmother all night.

I put a hand up to the air and she high-fives it. I knew I liked this girl. We head over to the other side of the room as I weave myself around people, still clutching on to my champagne. While this wedding is grand on so many levels, there is also something very bright and colourful about it, a huge mixture of people in traditional cultural dress and this wonderful cacophony of noise. Norah circles the table, sitting directly opposite me whereas I find a bauble labelled for Margaret. Oh dear.

‘Found you! I'm so sorry, so, so sorry,' Frank's voice says appearing next to me, looking a little more frazzled than when I saw him last.

‘Breathe. I perhaps to need to schedule that into your laminated list,' I joke, putting a hand to his back.

‘My sister wanted this series of photos outside the church and on the bus, outside the bus, and this shot where we all had to jump off steps. I can't feel my face, I've been fake smiling so much. Did you get a drink? Get on the bus alright?'

‘It's all good,' I say nonchalantly. ‘I had a lovely time on the bus, helped a couple take photos near St Paul's, and I've eaten my weight in satay.' I am really quite easily pleased .

‘Well, save space for the banquet. There's all sorts coming out: suckling pig, lobster. It's about seven courses, I've been told,' he says, worriedly. He forgets that besides helping a mate, I'm mostly here for the free food. The menu is tucked into my napkin and I read through it, it's all a culinary adventure and I'm here for it. ‘Did you also get a new top? Where from?'

‘Oh, I was saved by your friend, Norah who was very kind,' I say pointing towards her. They clock each other and there's that glow in their eyes again as they wave animatedly at each other.

‘I'm glad. She's so nice, isn't she?' he whispers to me, as she engages in conversation with the person next to her.

I nod, smiling.

‘I always thought that she might go away to America and come back a bit different but she's still the same,' he says, still beaming.

I stare at him with a mix of affection and despair. Come on Frank, join the dots.

‘Oooh, it's the famous Maggie…' someone suddenly says, pulling the chair out from next to me. I look up, knowing she's wearing exactly the same dress as me. Ashley, the older sister. She's pretty, slender but there's a stern look to her face that makes me think the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

‘Ashley? Lovely to meet you,' I say, going to lean over to maybe half hug her but she doesn't seem wholly bothered in initiating any sort of bodily contact. I go back to sitting upright.

‘That was interesting at the wedding, you being bridesmaid. How did that happen?' she asks me.

‘Oh, it was an accident, completely. My dress, the wedding organiser got confused. I didn't mean to join in, at all,' I say contritely.

‘Yes, because I was supposed to be first out. You know? Being her sister and all that?' she replies sharply.

‘Ashley…' Frank pleads .

‘So tell me, what on earth do you see in Frankie?' she says, half-laughing, half-drunk, I hope. ‘Hey, Guy – this is Frank's mysterious girlfriend.'

I notice Frank's body stiffening next to mine.

Guy sits the other side of Frank and I recognise him as one of their many cousins. ‘Yeah, please do tell. Because I'm not going to lie but if you end up getting married before me then I might as well call it quits now.' Their laughter is cruel, in complete contrast to the energy in the room and I don't quite understand. This is supposed to be family, people you love. His cousin ruffles his hair and Frank seems to just take it as part and parcel of being a member of this family. I wish I'd kept my satay skewers with me so I could stab him in the thigh. I glance over at Norah who sits across the table, slowly sipping her champagne in obvious discomfort.

‘Well, amongst other things, I'd say it's his rather sizeable penis.'

I am not quite sure where that came from, it's most likely the sheer irritation I feel for my tablemates but Frank chokes on his champagne, inhaling bubbles so violently that they seem to splash against the underside of his glasses. Ashley looks furious with me but over from the other side of the table, Norah smiles, pretending she hasn't heard anything.

Guy laughs bawdily. ‘And how much did he pay you to say that?'

‘He pays me in sex. It's a wonderful arrangement.' He flares his nostrils at me. Frank is a berry shade of blush, but that could be the alcohol, who knows with Frank? ‘But since you asked, he's intensely clever, he's fun, he looks out for people and he feels no need to show off, and that tells me he's sincere to a fault. Frank is just the best of people.'

I glance Norah's face at this point and she smiles from ear to ear. I have no idea if Frank got any of that, because that was quite a decent testimonial. I think he's still processing the penis comment. Ashley picks up her glass and storms towards the top table, in the direction of her mother. Guy turns to the pretty girl next to him.

‘Maggie…' Frank whispers.

‘I think your sister has gone to tell on me,' I say, looking over at both Ashley and Regina piercing me with their gaze.

‘She's probably telling her you're lewd and vulgar,' he says worriedly.

‘Well, she's a bitch, Frank. I'm sorry,' I say, trying to be as subtle as I can. ‘And I'm sorry but Guy…'

Frank's eyes widen. He's literally sat right next to me.

‘Well, he has mean eyes, a stupid cravat and I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole,' I whisper.

And for a moment, I see Frank smiling broadly, trying to hold in his laughter. ‘For a minute there I thought you were talking about my penis again.'

He made a joke! My whole body shakes, laughing with him as the lights go out, a snow machine fires up and Christmas music fills the room to signal the arrival of the bride and groom.

‘I'm glad you're here, Maggie.' He raises his glass.

I clink it with mine and grin. ‘Me too.'