Chapter 17

"Why are you slamming a hammer into my foot?" I snapped as Justin tried to pull my pajamas over my swollen foot.

"You're the one who has to wear pajamas to bed. This would be a lot easier if you'd just go nude." Justin looked up from where he was kneeling. "I wouldn't mind." His voice dripped with meaning.

"You, sir, are a very bad influence." I giggled. "I will not sleep nude beside my dog. Besides, I've been wearing bottoms to bed for as long as I can remember. They make me comfortable."

"Is this torture making you comfortable? You could just sleep in your undies?"

"Just pull them up, and I'll scream into this pillow." I covered my face with the pillow as Justin managed to get my foot through the hole and pulled it quickly up. "Are you done?" My foot throbbed, but I didn't have to scream.

Liza jumped up on the couch and sat on my chest, yapping. She could sense how uncomfortable I was and wanted to help me.

"She's such a good girl. Raise your hips," Justin stood and pulled my bottoms all the way up.

"Thank you. This is as humiliating as I thought it would be." I huffed and scratched Liza's head. "When I first met you, I had no idea you would be carrying me to the bathroom and dressing me like an invalid."

"Well, you are kind of an invalid, babe. We'll have to get you up on the crutches tomorrow. However, you should look on the bright side – I do."

"What is the bright side?"

"If I had to wipe your ass, I'd run away screaming. So just take the win." He pinched my cheek and bopped me on the tip of my nose with his finger.

I grabbed his wrist. "I'm older, so that doesn't bode well for our relationship."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He grinned mischievously.

"Ok… Now I'm having visions of our future and freaking out."

"I think we have a very long way to go before we ever get to one of us wearing diapers."

"First, it's a broken leg, and the next thing you know, one of us is in a wheelchair."

"How did we get to wheelchairs? I think you could still wipe your ass if you're in a wheelchair."

"You have no idea, and neither do I. It's a slippery slope."

"Slipping is how we got here." He leaned into me and placed his head against my neck. His hot breath caused shivers. "Alright, how did we get on this topic?"

"Ah! I think you brought it up."

"Can we just get back to you sleeping naked? I apologize that I ever said a thing." He nuzzled, and his lips left trails of fire.

"Well, you did say you would leave me."

"I mean, this is new. Would you blame me?"

"Well, you would be leaving me in my hour of greatest need. So, yeah."

"I give up!" He laughed and sat back on his knees breaking our contact as he threw his arms up in the air in surrender. "But I have a great idea! We can hire someone who we're not sleeping with to do it for us if it ever comes to that."

"I could live with that." I grinned. "Can you fluff my pillows?"

"I'd do more than that to your pillows if you weren't so sore."

"Fuck this broken foot."

"I'm not sure I'd know how to do that."

"I don't mean literally."

"You mean I can't literally fuck you in your foot? Well, this relationship is doomed." He rolled his eyes, and I giggled.

"I meant," I held out my hand, and he kissed it. "I meant that I wished I hadn't broken my foot and had stayed in bed with you."

"I wished you had, too. You won't feel so crappy after a couple more days, and then I can ravish you once again."

"Ravish!" I giggled. "I like the sound of that. It's just… I have a hard time believing this is all real."

"We're not doing that. You're hot," He kissed my hand. "I'm hot." He kissed further up my arm. "Together we are fucking steamy." His lips found mine, and his tongue slowly pressed inside me. I moaned into the kiss and had to stop myself from pulling him down on top of me. I wanted him on top of me so fucking bad.

"Besides…" He pulled away before kissing me quickly once again. "I have some news. I hope you're as excited about it as I am."

His breath was all the balm I needed to make me feel better. Another kiss like that, and I would grin and bear the pain as I grinned and bore the pain. "What?"

"Remember when I had to leave you today with Zane?" He stood up and stared down at me. Why do people always look so menacing when they're standing above you?

"I broke my ankle, not my brain."

"Well, I had a job interview."

"A what? Where?"

"Remember when I said what my dream job would be?"

"Why do I feel like you"re checking me out for dementia? Did the doctors tell you to do this?"

"I'm being serious. Do you remember?"

"Yeah. You're getting your degree in sports therapy – or is it physical therapy for sports? Anyway, you wanna work with a professional team when you graduate." I felt a hole open up in my heart as I thought about what this could mean. "You had an interview? Where… where would you be going?"

He nodded, walked over, and sat down on the chair. "That's the interesting news. A position opened up here in The Pleasant with the Pheasants."

"I know nothing about sports, and even I know they suck. But… That's great. What about your degree? Don't you need it?"

"Yeah. That's the… cool part?" He scrunched up his face. "It's also the hard part."

"What does that mean?" I didn't like the ominous way he said that.

"It means that I have to get my degree by the end of this summer. I was already taking a class or two each session, but now I'm going to finish everything over twelve weeks. If it all works out, anyway."

I sat up too quickly. "Ow! Justin… that's too much, hon. I mean, how long are the sessions? Six weeks? How can you take a full load in that short amount of time?"

"I only had thirty hours left, and I'll have completed six hours remotely, but yeah… It will be a lot. But it will also be worth it. All I've ever wanted was to work with a real pro team, and it's right here. I can stay in The Pleasant. Doesn't that make you as happy as it does me?" He leaned forward, resting his muscled arms on his knees, and looked at me with such care. It was overwhelming. "I can't promise that I know where this is going, babe, but I know I want to find out."

There it was. My head spun as I thought about what he was doing. "You can't stay here for me, Justin. That's not fair to you."

"It's not just for you. It's for me, too. This place is… I can't believe how much I like it here. You're here, and my chance to fulfill my dream is too. It's… I was surprised – pleasantly." He winked.

"If it's what you want." Was he sacrificing something important – missing bigger opportunities because of us?

"I thought you'd be a little more excited about this." He huffed and leaned back.

"I'm on pain medicine. But… I am excited – for you. I just don't want you to settle. Your whole life is still in front of you."

He chuckled. "Yours is, too. Almost forty isn't dead. Maybe our lives are in front of us together. Maybe they aren't? But I think I know where I'd put my money if you asked me right now."

He was so serious, and it broke something inside me as it also stitched it back up. "You do say very pretty things that make me giddy and terrified at the same time. I'm broken in some way, but you… You make me feel less so. I just want you to be happy, Justin. That's all. I… I know what it is to live with regrets, and I don't want you to feel that way. Not because of…"

"You?" He chuckled. "My decisions are mine, David. I get to decide what makes me happy and what… If I am settling. It doesn't seem that way to me. I think that you're just scared."

"I'm terrified of you."

"I'm captivated by you. You do not need to be scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you, dummy. I'm scared of how you make me feel."

"Sexy? Cared for?"

"Yes—and I'm not used to that. You make me feel something that I haven't felt in a long time, Justin. Hope."

"I don't think anyone has ever said something so nice to me before. Hope is what keeps us all going."

"Hope can easily turn to despair. Hope is just as dangerous as any other emotion that can destroy you. But… sometimes… I look at you, and all I hope for is for you to stay… with me… here. But other times, I realize how selfish and na?ve that is for someone like me."

He stood up, came over, and sat back down beside me. "That is enough of you talking down about yourself. I don't want to hear you do that anymore. Ok? I think you're remarkable, and when I see you – I see hope too. I know I'm younger and… maybe not as smart or haven't lived as long – maybe I'm the one who's na?ve. But I don't care about any of that. All I care about is you and me and the way I feel when I look at you."

"God, you do talk pretty."

"There is a bit of a problem, though. One of the last classes I need for my major isn't being taught online, so I'm not sure what to do."

"Well, that sucks. So, you tell the job you can take it in the fall."

"I don't know. They were pretty – well, they sounded serious about me having my BS before the end of the summer. They want to start paying for me to get my master"s right away. And… It is being taught, just… I don't want to go back there for an in-person class."

He would have to leave… But he needed to do this. If not for his present life – for his future one. "You could see your friends. I'm sure you miss them. You did like your life there before… all of that. That's the impression I got anyway."

"I did, but I didn't really like me. Not if I really think about it, you know."

"I don't know what to tell you," I whispered.

"You can tell me not to go." His voice broke. "I… guess that's what I want you to tell me. Sure, I miss my friends… some. Kind of yes and no, do you know what I mean?"

"I do. But I can't tell you to stay, Justin."

"Why not? I want you to."

"You have to do what's best for you, not what's best for what we might become."

Liza yipped at me.

"Even she doesn't believe that." Justin pouted.

"It's just for the summer. You'd be coming back here."

"I…" He stood up and walked back over to the chair. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"We… sure. If that's what you want. It's your life, and before you think about settling or settling down for what you might want – you need to think about what it is you need to do to have a future – to achieve your dreams." I held my hands up. "Ok, I'm done."

"I really like you."

"I really like you too. I will still be here."

"I know, it's… I just don't want to go."