Chapter 11

"So… what!" Zane made every head in a hundred-mile radius turn to stare at us. "You've been holding out on us, and I am not ok with that, bitch."

"It wasn't… I mean, I had an infatuation with him, but it's happened fast." I was still trying to settle into what all of this meant – might mean, or could mean if I stayed on the path we were currently on. "He came to fix my disposal, and then bam. His tongue was in my mouth, and I couldn't breathe."

"That's called kissing. I think you remember how it felt."

"Zane, honey? Bring it down just a notch, will you? Can't you see the boy is freaking out?" Jacob wheezed. "Can we stop walking so fast? A trip to the bookstore should not exhaust you. I'm sixty-nine – and I'm not a sprinter any longer."

"Of course." I put my hand through Jacob's arm to offer support. "Remember how easy it used to be to find parking?"

"Things change – and The Pleasant has been changing rapidly. It's good for the town, but the year-round tourism has made this place much more crowded. I miss the slow times we used to have." Jacob squeezed my hand in thanks.

"That article in USA Today calling us one of the best vacation spots in America changed everything." Zan nodded. "Now, can we please get back to Miss Thang here dating the Taylor Lautner lookalike? I am flummoxed."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, bestie," I muttered.

"No, it's… I'm happy for you. I am. I just can't believe you found a boyfriend before I did."

"He is not my boyfriend."

"Not yet." Zane laughed. "He must be into daddies. He's what, twenty-two?"

"I don't think that David is a daddy. He's not that old. God! What would that make me? Dead?"

"No, you're grampa porn. It's a real thing." Zane cackled.

"We've just been out on a couple of dates, and he introduced me to his friends."

"That's major." Zane grabbed me by the arm and stopped us all in our tracks. "I saw him, you know. He was with Crystal and her gaggle of gays at Liberties, and you were totally right. He looks exactly like our hunky werewolf. I almost texted you to tell you I found him again, but I didn't want you to go into cardiac arrest."

"His friends were nice. I had always imagined they'd be snobby," I responded and started walking slowly again.

"They're fine. I mean, I think they think a lot of themselves, but who wouldn't when your friend group has a movie star and a rock star in it? That group was always full of the pretty people."

Jacob grinned. "One of them is a prince now, isn't he? Crystal has always been a sweetheart. Her mother and I were very good friends back in the day. That poor girl has really been through it. I guess most of her friends have been, what with all of that scandal back in the day."

"I kind of remember hearing about that. We weren't here when that happened. What did happen?"

"It was a bad accident. One of their friends died in a car crash, and… Well, there was more to the story, but that's not my story to tell. The poor kid is dead, and it caused quite a stir. He and Crystal were dating, I think." Jacob looked off into the distance as we turned the corner and started down the long block. "Yes, I'm sure they were. It was a long time ago, and I can barely remember last week these days. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"That's… fascinating." Zane was being his usual self, and Jacob shot him a dirty look. "But can we please get back to the insanity of that himbo dating my best friend?"

"I mean, two dates could be considered dating, I suppose." Jacob laughed. "But I know that you're having a complete meltdown inside, aren't you?"

"And how," I sighed heavily. "I'm reeling. It doesn't feel right, you know? I can't see why he would… I mean, I'm just… me, and he is…"

"I'm just stopping this now." Jacob stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pointed over to one of the benches against the wall. "Sit down."

I walked over and did what he said. It hadn't been a request, and when Jacob spoke – I listened. "I'm being an idiot, right?"

"Duh!" Zane laughed. "Have you met you? You should be on your knees thanking God – or on your knees thanking that boy."

"Zane, honey. Sit down and shut up." Jacob pointed beside me, and Zane followed orders. "You are not old. Neither one of you is old or even middle-aged. So, what if he's younger than you? Is that what's bothering you?"

"I mean, part of it, I guess."

"You always have this shadow around you, honey. Like a shroud of protection from the first moment I met you, and I get it. You went through a very bad breakup that left you broken for a while. But your biggest mistake is not moving on."

"He sure did, and it didn't take him long. He was a total dick."

"Zane – not helping." Jacob tutted.

"You stayed stuck in that hurt, and you never allowed yourself to truly move past it. It's like you assigned yourself the blame for what happened, and you just shut yourself away. Now, I love you more than I love almost anyone. You are kind, smart, and really funny when you let your guard down – which you do with us, for the most part, except when it comes to dating. You just shut it all off and shut us down. And now, here you are asking yourself why this boy would, or could even like you. Maybe he sees in you what we all see, David?" Jacob stopped and looked over at Zane. "Now you can speak."

Zane chuckled. "Yes, grampie."

"I hear you, Jacob. It just feels like a lot." I know I needed to hear this – but I also hated being present when anyone spoke about me.

Zane put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him. "Of course it does. I know I can be a bit of a bitch, sometimes – but all I want for you is for you to be happy, boo."

"I know."

Zane huffed and patted my shoulder. "I hope so. I'm sure the age is a little… I know you, but he's not that much younger. I mean, it's barely a decade. But… not everyone leaves, David. Sometimes, they stay. That's what it really is, isn't it?"

I slowly pulled away from him and hung my head as the truth sunk in. "You hit the nail right on the proverbial head, I guess. I… I mean, I've really enjoyed being around him a lot. He's funny and sweet and sees me in a way that I haven't felt seen in a very long time. I want to jump in with both feet and just relish in the moment of whatever this is, but I know me."

"Yeah. We know you, too. You can't just be in the moment. I know."

"All I can think about is the what ifs. What if I start to care… too much, and… God forbid I actually fall in love with him, which would be way too easy to do. He's just starting his life. He's about to graduate college, and I did that almost a decade ago. I guess I… Fifteen years separate us, and that is not nothing, right?"

"It's not everything either. My Stevie was ten years older than me, and we were together for over thirty years before he passed away. When you're two adults, and you fall in love – why does age matter?" Jacob looked at me with such compassion I wanted to throw myself into one of his gentle embraces. "Everyone gets so hung up on numbers that are actually pretty arbitrary. Look at Zane. He's the same age as you but acts like he's twenty, and you act like you're my age. Maturity has nothing to do with age."

"I guess that's true. But he has dreams and ambitions, and I'm sure that he probably won't find them here. He'll leave because that's what he should do. It's what we did."

"Like Zane says, honey, not everyone leaves. Maybe he would choose to stay in The Pleasant. Maybe he'd stay because he likes it, or maybe because of you. You're not tied down to this place either, you know. If the two of you did fall in love, and he wanted to leave – why couldn't you go with him?"

"I think the cart has been put before the horse," I smirked.

"Like I said, you act like you're sixty." Jacob chuckled.

"Will you do me a favor, boo? Will you just see where this leads? Do it for me if you won't do it for yourself. Seriously, I am tired of worrying about you bitch. Date the boy, and realize that it's not going to work for whatever reason you discover. But! You could also date the boy and allow yourself to fall for him if that's what happens. Don't overthink it and get all in your head about it. Just enjoy the time you have, and whatever happens – happens. Ok?" Zane slowly stood up and offered me his hand.

"I'll… try. It's just… I always think everyone will leave, anyway. They always do."

"Did. He did, and he was one person, David. Just because the devil did what he did, and I know it hurt, and it sucked. But hunky werewolf is not the same person who did that to you."

"Stop living in the past." Jacob snorted. "It's dead, and all you can do is learn from it – not relive it."

"But what if that's what happens? I don't think I could… I don't want to be broken again."

"That sounds like a sad life, honey. You can't be happy without a little pain and heartache. But you're… God, I can't believe I'm saying it… But you're the one putting the cart before the horse. You don't know what is going to happen. All we can do is grab onto whatever happiness and joy that life decides to throw us. Live in the now and let go of the past, and for fuck's sake, stop worrying about the future. It will be the present soon enough."

Jacob's words hit me like a ton of bricks. He was right, and I knew he was, but that didn't stop the pit in my stomach from churning with worry. I let Zane haul me up off the bench, and my knees popped as I stood.

"Well, that sounds ominous." Zane chuckled. "Shall we go to the bookstore?"

"Yes. Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that, and I will think about it all."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I thought about it all night.