19. Zyrus

19

ZYRUS

My chest pounded with every breath, and I couldn't pinpoint the reason. My skin felt too tight, as if something inside of me was ready to burst out at any moment. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I could taste the metallic tang of fear in my mouth.

And then, abruptly, it went silent. The usual hum of life faded away, leaving an eerie stillness that set my nerves on edge.

There were still hours left in my shift, the clock on the wall ticking away relentlessly. But nothing could have kept me there, not with the bone-deep certainty that something was terribly wrong. My instincts screamed at me to move, to act.

Astrid. The thought of her was a beacon in my mind. I needed to get to my mate, and fast. My legs were already moving before I'd fully formed the thought, propelling me towards the exit with unstoppable urgency.

She was supposed to be in our room. She'd promised to stay there or to stick with one of the others. But every step that brought me closer felt like a step in the wrong direction.

The room was empty.

One look, and I knew. But I still looked further, into the bedroom and bathroom, even opening up the door to the closet as if she might have fallen into another dimension.

She wasn't there.

Rage and fear warred inside of me, a volatile mix that threatened to overwhelm my senses. Had someone taken her? The possibility made my blood boil at the thought. I scanned the room frantically, searching for any sign of a struggle, any clue that might hint at why my mate wasn't where she had promised she would be. But the space was unnervingly pristine, offering no answers to the questions that screamed in my mind.

My fists clenched at my sides, knuckles white with tension. I would tear the station apart to find her if I had to. Every corridor, every hidden nook, every airlock—nowhere was off-limits. The need to locate Astrid consumed me, driving out all other thoughts and concerns. Time was of the essence, and I couldn't shake the feeling that each passing second put her in greater danger.

Determination settled over my shoulders, calming the turbulent emotions enough for me to think. I forced myself to breathe. One deep inhale after the other. It was easy, automatic, and it helped me focus.

Where would Astrid go?

Surely she would have told the others.

I scanned the room one last time, half-expecting to find a hastily scrawled note from Astrid tucked away somewhere. But there was nothing. A pang of frustration mixed with worry shot through me. This thing between us was still new, raw, and uncertain in many ways. We were still learning each other's quirks and habits, the unspoken language of a newly bonded pair. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I should have known, should have sensed something was amiss sooner.

My jaw clenched as I marched out of the room, my footsteps heavy with purpose. I reached Drex's door in what felt like seconds, my fist already raised. I pounded on the metal surface with enough force to make my knuckles ache, the sound reverberating through the corridor. The noise echoed down the hallway in both directions, and I didn't care who heard, as long as Drex opened the stars-damned door.

I was one heartbeat away from ramming my shoulder into the door, consequences be damned, when it slid open with a soft hiss. My fist froze mid-air, poised for another thunderous knock that never came. The sudden lack of resistance nearly threw me off-balance, both physically and mentally. A small, detached part of my mind registered relief that I hadn't needed to resort to more drastic measures. But that relief was quickly swallowed by the pressing need to find Astrid, to know she was safe.

"Astrid's gone." I didn't recognize the ragged tone of my own voice. I'd spoken like the soulless for so long that any inflection was a stranger, let alone this desperation.

Then I noticed Ryklin and Noelle were sitting at the table with Pippa, all of them looking intently at a message on a holo-projector. Their faces were bathed in the soft blue glow, expressions tense and focused. The sight momentarily pulled me up short, a flicker of hope igniting in my chest. Maybe they knew something I didn't.

Drex pulled me farther inside, his grip firm but not unkind. Slowing down felt like betraying my mate, every second wasted another moment Astrid could be in danger. I had to look like a madman—hair disheveled, eyes wild, chest heaving with barely contained panic. I wanted to turn around and run somewhere . Anywhere to find Astrid. The urge to move, to act, thrummed through my body like an electric current.

"What's going on?" Noelle asked, her brow furrowed with concern as she looked up from the holo-projector. Her gaze swept over me, taking in my disheveled state. "Where's Astrid?"

The question hung in the air, heavy and loaded. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. The room felt too small, too still, the recycled air of the station thick with tension. I could hear the faint hum of the life support systems, a sound I usually ignored but now seemed deafening in the expectant silence.

"I don't know." The words came out through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. "She's not in her room. I felt—" I didn't know how to describe it and speaking of emotion felt like a crime. Not too long ago, it could have gotten me killed. It had already given me a death sentence once. But the men in this room understood exactly what I was going through. They wouldn't hold it against me.

I may have known that logically, but it meant nothing to the fist that had my heart in its grip. My chest felt tight, each breath a struggle against the weight of fear pressing down on me.

"Tell us," Drex said, his voice low and steady. He didn't make me move any farther, seeming to understand my need to stay poised for action. The others leaned in, their faces a mix of concern and anticipation.

"I felt … something … while I was working," I began, forcing the words out past the lump in my throat. "A burst of emotions and adrenaline. It hit me like a physical blow." I swallowed hard, remembering the intensity of the sensation. "Then it went quiet, eerily so. I knew I needed to see Astrid immediately." My hands clenched and unclenched at my sides as I continued. "I went to her room, and she's not there. No note, no sign of where she might have gone." There it was. Clinical, a report I could almost give a superior, except for the panic attack threatening to overtake me. My heart raced, and I could feel a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. The air suddenly felt too thin, not enough to fill my lungs.

Ryklin was standing, and Drex bent down to pull on his boots.

"I want you and Pippa to search Astrid's room for anything Zyrus might have missed," Ryklin told his mate. She nodded.

Drex placed a hand on his chest, his expression softening with understanding. "You should be able to feel the bond between the two of you. It's like a homing beacon, a thread connecting your souls. Close your eyes and concentrate on that connection."

A part of me resisted, my jaw clenching as I fought against the suggestion. He wanted me to follow some buried, ancient instinct that had been torn out of me at the end of a scalpel and only barely begun to heal? The idea seemed absurd, almost cruel. My hands curled into fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms.

But beneath the resistance, a desperate hope flickered. If there was even the slightest chance this could lead me to Astrid, I had to try. I took a deep breath, the taste of filtered oxygen sharp on my tongue, and forced myself to relax. Slowly, reluctantly, I let my eyes drift closed.

Anything for my mate.

I closed my eyes and breathed deep, filling my lungs with the familiar metallic tang of station air. The panic was still there, a living thing clawing at my insides, fear threatening to choke me and pull me down to somewhere I'd never escape. My heart raced, pounding against my ribcage as if trying to break free. And below the fear was doubt, insidious and corrosive. Was I good enough for Astrid? Could I be the mate she needed, after everything I'd been through? What if I lost my soul again and she was stuck at the side of some emotionless automaton, a shell of the man she deserved?

I clenched my jaw, fighting against the tide of negative emotions. This wasn't helping. I had to focus. And then, as if responding to my determination, I sensed it—below the doubt was the faint glow of our bond. It was barely perceptible, a whisper of warmth in the cold void of my fear. But it was there. With a surge of desperate hope, I reached out with my mind, imagining my hands wrapping around that tenuous connection. I tugged, putting all my will behind the action, praying it would lead me to Astrid.

My eyes snapped open, and I rushed out the door.