Chapter 26

Syl and I faced the dawn, our hands clasped and her leaning into my side. Our wrists touched, the mark of our mating concealed under the warm layers and green canvas coats we'd been given to protect ourselves from the elements. On our backs, we had packs filled with more food than we could eat in a week. I suspected the excess was courtesy of Jace.

A crowd was assembled of watchers and breeders separated by social convention, with a sizeable gap running down the middle where everyone stood amongst the trees. Cam stood in the front, his bright red hair standing out amongst the others. He gave me a solemn nod, and I returned it, knowing that was as much of a goodbye as we were going to get.

Syl and I were not given an opportunity to speak, but I could tell she wanted to, just like I could tell she hadn't slept well the night before and was a bit hungry. The connection between us was a powerful thing, and I was grateful to know of her needs and wants, so I might anticipate them.

We were ushered out to the pack border by two stiff-faced guards and released into a clearing. I looked back, and the guard frowned, like even looking back wasn't allowed. He pointed a finger straight ahead towards what was surely the pack boundary. I turned to go, but Syl stayed where she stood, looking back at those assembled, her eyes shining.

"Syl, come. It's time we left."

She turned to me, and I could feel her turmoil. It was there, in the crinkling of her brow and in the set of her jaw.

"Not yet. Look at them, Bash. They're us."

I looked back and understood what she meant. Watchers huddled together in a nervous group eyeing the breeders who watched us nervously, the few women dwarfed amongst the men looking at Syl with disbelief.

Watchers and breeders, separated, and all assigned by someone who thought they knew what was best. Syl stepped forward.

"We go now, as mates. We reject this pack and the cruel roles it gave to us. This place, these roles, they do not define you. There is another way if you are brave enough to take it."

My mouth hung open. Syl had all but encouraged those present to run away, to embrace banishment rather than live under the pack's rules, and I saw more than a few shining eyes, particularly among the female breeders.

She'd only spoken the truth—our truth, her truth—but in doing so, she had gone from a banished pack member to an enemy. I turned, ushering her away, my arm slung across her shoulder protectively.

"Syl, they could hunt us down and kill us for saying such things." My whisper was harsh, and I hated it, but it came from a place of fear. Finally, we had each other, all our secrets known. We were at the start of everything, and if we died now, we would never know what it was.

"I'm sorry, Bash. I know—I just. I had to say it. The way the pack assigns people these roles, these labels, it's not the right way to live. People should be more than what they're useful for. They should be able to decide."

I squeezed her hand, drawing it to my face and kissing her knuckles.

"Yes, they should, but you don't have to be the one to say it."

She glared at me, her hand twisting and trying to escape mine, but I held it fast.

What was wrong with me? I grabbed her wrist with one hand, my other skating up her back between her and the pack she wore, turning us to press her against a tree and hold her in place while I nuzzled her soft neck.

She was pissed, rigid beneath me, and I could feel her heart pounding against my chest, but it was more than anger.

"Stop. Bash. We should get further away from the border." My hand rested at her hip, digging through the fabric and pulling her coat up so I could feel her skin. She shivered when I found it.

"This can't wait." Not after we'd been unable to connect fully between those bars, when we'd been forced to fulfill our need to consummate the mate bond without me fully seated inside of her.

Out here, we were alone. At fucking last able to press our bodies tightly to one another, to feel each other properly. Should I bite her again? I wanted to. Nuzzling her neck brought up the desire within me, the need to mark the same way I'd felt when we'd chosen each other and mated, but it felt wrong. They'd done that to us, kept us separated even as we mated, and it felt like us—defective, hated, but together. The mark we'd made on each other's wrists would always be our mate bond. Anything else would be superfluous.

Trapped in a cell, inches from her but unable to hold her properly, I'd examined the mark and noted the gap beside her incisor and how uniquely her it was.

She shivered beneath me, pulling me back to the present, and I eased the pack off her shoulders.

"We're far enough. We've waited long enough."

Her lust-filled eyes met mine, and she swallowed.

Packs dropping to the ground, I set to work on her coat and her on mine, both of us fumbling with the buttons. I barely contained myself enough not to rip it off her. She knew how to sew. She could fix it.

But she had the buttons open on my coat and switched to her own before I could try it. The air outside had turned cold, and I felt a stab of guilt when she pulled off her shirt and shivered, goosebumps rising on her arm. But then she was pulling me to her, hands bunched into my shirt, and I realized I wasn't the only one who needed this.

Eagerly, I stripped as quickly as I could, nearly tripping when I pulled off my boots, not willing to leave an article of clothing between us.

Naked, I paused to look at her and she did the same. We'd slept together enough times that we knew how well we fit together, but this was the first time with everything between us laid bare. The first time since we'd chosen this life with each other.

"Bash."

My name in her mouth was enough to break the spell, and we collided. My strength overwhelming hers as I pressed her against the tree. She was too low, and I lifted her, positioning myself so she could sink down onto my straining cock.

Crying out, she did, taking every inch into her soaking pussy like she was made for it, and she fucking was. The same way I was made for her.

"Syl." I massaged her cheeks, lifting her up and down against me, creating a friction that left us both moaning for more. She was wetness. Softness. Heat and heaven, and I sank into her, losing all sense of reality. The feel of her hot mouth moving against mine was almost too much.

How long we were out there, I didn't know.

Whether those who had assembled to see us off could hear us, I didn't care.

There was only Syl and me. In this moment, and when we came together, our roar echoed upwards to the heavens, proclaiming our union.

I kissed her gossamer hair, her face, her neck, as we came back down, as the world took shape once more.

"Bash," she whispered my name, and I understood.

She was everything to me, and I spoke her name on a breath against the hollow of her collarbone. That I could be everything to her was a dream I'd never dared to have.

We stayed like that, her in my arms and me lost to her, until the cold finally reached us, and I carefully set her down on her feet to dress.

Once we were bundled back in our gear with our packs slung across our backs, Syl gave me a shy grin, reaching out for my hand. I kept her on my left side so that the marks on our wrists, our mating mark, could sometimes brush in the most delightful of touches.

The next week became about survival. Neither of us had been trained on how to make a fire or hunt, and with it growing colder the further north we traveled, we huddled together for warmth at night. I was thankful that our packs had included mostly jerky and granola bars, nothing that would need to be cooked.

Daytime temperatures were tolerable, but watching Syl shiver her way through the night was not, and I'd never felt so useless than I did as I held my mate, trying to warm her through sheer force of will.

But by the eighth day, we reached a border and were intercepted by a brown wolf with a mask of black across his face. He shifted into a stout man with a confident bearing, short blonde hair, and a disarming smile.

"Welcome to Pack Cass. Do you seek refuge within our borders?"

Bone weary, and practically leaning on each other for support, Syl and I exchanged a cautious look and nodded. His answering smile showcased a pair of perfectly straight white teeth.

"Excellent. Pleased to meet you. My name is Arthur, but you can call me Art. Please come with me, and we'll get you warmed up in no time."

Ironic that Art should be the one to lead me home, but he did, guiding us through the trees until at last it opened up, and we saw a sprawling compound set in a valley.

The midday sun shone on people walking the streets between buildings. Mated pairs held hands, their laughing faces filled with joy, and I caught the scent of a human somewhere within the vicinity. Shocked, I followed Art into a tall grey building.

"We've got plenty of free apartments. That's the thing with starting a pack—you need people." Art laughed at his own joke, and I stopped following him, pulling Syl back to stop with me. Art came back towards us wearing a frown. "Something wrong, friend?"

"You know nothing about us, but you're willing to take us in, no questions asked?" My suspicions of this place were aroused, and I stayed alert, eyeing our guide distrustfully.

The confusion on Art's face cleared.

"Well, of course, we're going to be screening you. You're to be allowed enough time to refresh yourselves, decompress, and then all new potential pack members are interviewed by the beta himself." He laughed. "If anyone can tease apart friend from foe, it's our beta. Nothing gets past him."

I nodded, not sure I wanted to meet this beta, but we had followed Jace's directions, and this was the pack where they had led.

"This way, please?" Art led us down a hallway and up some stairs, wincing and looking back at us. "Eventually, we'll have power enough to run the elevators, but for now, all residents must use the stairs." Art opened a heavy door and ushered us into a staircase made of concrete with black metal handrails. At least this place wasn't totally perfect.

I fucking hated how I had to go slowly on the stairs, and the way Syl slowed without question, smiling encouragingly at me when I did so. She shouldn't be saddled with one such as me, and yet she was.

After three flights of stairs, Art stopped and held the door open for us. My breathing felt tight, but I smiled reassuringly at Syl, not wanting to worry her. Traveling for so long, and after the attack I'd experienced when I'd stupidly chased her into the woods and outed myself, had taken its toll and without enough time to recover. I was easily winded.

Art led us down an identical hallway to a grey door with a gold knocker, pulling a key from his pocket and opening it. The apartment within was stunning. Warm wood floors met a kitchen with all black appliances and a matching black counter. It was even furnished with a grey couch facing a flat screen TV.

"Well, here you go. If you decide to stay after meeting with the beta, this will be where you live. Of course, everyone is expected to work and—"

"Art, what about defectives? Do you allow them here?"

Art's face screwed up in confusion. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Clearing my throat, I turned to face him when I felt Syl tug on my arm. A quick glance at her, and I knew I couldn't say anything. Not now, not in this moment when we were both in need of the rest and comfort this place could provide.

"It's not important. Maybe something I'll bring up to your beta."

He nodded, giving us a parting smile and shutting the door.

Syl looked at me, and the sheer joy on her face was enough to have me grinning and forgetting my worries. She squealed, taking off to explore the apartment. I watched her go, wishing this would work, hoping they would accept two lost defectives in need of a second chance at life.

"We should unpack, right away! Come on, Bash, check out our bedroom with me."

It was starting to seem more and more likely that Syl wanted to stay here, but I was uneasy. We knew so little about these people beyond Jace's recommendation and their willingness to escort us within their borders. What would they do when they found out I was a defective?

Smiling that toothy grin of hers that showed off the gap beside her incisor, Syl emerged from a hallway off the main area to grab my arm and tug me along, laughing at my resistance.

But it was hard to accept that this place might truly be a haven for us, or even that we might rest here for a while.

Syl eased the pack off her shoulder and added it to hers on the bed, then she set to work, unzipping them and dumping the contents on the bed.

We both stood in shock at what had been buried at the bottom of our packs. Eight days of traveling in the bitter cold, making sure we made it to this place had meant we never truly got to the bottom of our bags where the nonnecessities were.

"My magazines." Syl was tearing up, and I reached out to clasp her hand, bringing it to my lips, so I could kiss her knuckles.

The pile of magazines from her dorm lay scattered across the bed, only a little worse for wear with all the travel, along with all her sketches and designs. Everything we'd assumed we'd lost when we'd headed out into the unknown.

Then there was my bag. Fuck, now I was getting teary-eyed. It had to have been Jace. Or Cam, but I couldn't see him gaining access. Whoever it was had packed my sketches of Syl and had even carefully rolled up my special project for transport.

"What's that?" Syl eyed the paper, and I didn't stop her when she lifted it and pulled off the thick elastic, holding it in a roll. She gasped, but with her back to me, I had no idea what her reaction was.

Slowly, I approached from behind her, peering over her shoulder. I'd finished it just before packing my things and intending to leave.

The painting of Syl's face was split in half. One side painted in full colour and exquisite detail. The other a rough sketch of her face in charcoal. The idea had come to me from the comics I'd completed from Reg and the dresses I'd completed for Syl.

They were two halves of the woman I loved, one simple, vulnerable, real. The sketched side of the painting cried while the other was neutral, her gaze steady, all the feeling hidden inside, but perfectly showcased by her opposite. The crying girl had been trapped inside, held in place by the pack, but I'd seen her, and it had started everything.

My hands skated up the smooth skin of Syl's arms. She shivered beneath my touch, and I felt the sensation go through my fingertips.

"Do you like it?" I whispered.

"Oh, Bash. It's beautiful. Is this how you see me?" She turned, and I found tear tracks on her face—her eyes wide, lips parted. She'd never looked more beautiful.

Happy tears.

"You're beautiful, Syl. I see you." I took a strand of ash-blonde hair and carefully tucked it behind her ear.

She laughed, looking up at me through her lashes.

"I think we should hang this on our wall."

Our wall.Fucking heaven.

"So, you broke into the breeding program and stayed there for almost two months with no one noticing, and you think we won't want you because sometimes your lungs fuck up and you need an easily accessible medicine?"

The beta's dark eyes were as unsettling as the scowl on his face, all of which should have been intimidating, but the effect was undone by the adorable black-haired baby he bounced on his knee. The little fellow was blowing bubbles, hanging over his father's arm, trying to capture his feet.

Fucking adorable.

"Well?"

The baby had distracted me, and I looked up to meet the fearsome beta's stare.

"You know what it's like at Pack Singer. The second they found out about my condition, I was labeled a defective."

He nodded, spiky black hair dipping almost to his eyes.

"Yeah, well, we are not Pack Singer. A big guy like you who's smart enough to pull off a plan like that. Shit, man. We welcome you." He smiled, and I swear it was more terrifying than the scowl he'd just been wearing. The baby started gnawing on his thumb joint, and he frowned down at the infant.

The most wonderful sound in the world reached my ears, and I looked across the room to see Syl sitting cross-legged and laughing, really fucking laughing, at something the long-haired blonde next to her said. The woman bounced a baby who looked very much like the one the beta was holding. She was Cass, the alpha. It was hard to imagine the sweet-looking blonde as a fierce leader, but I guess we'd find out.

"Sorry, Caleb's been teething lately. Not his brother, though. Guess they're not identical after all." The beta gave a chuckle, calling my attention back to him, but he gave a start when the baby in his hands gave a tiny cry. "It's okay, little guy. Daddy will get you your frozen breast milk ring as soon as we're done." The way he cooed at the child in his hand, pulling him back to sit more on his lap and tucking him in tight, was disarming.

"And mates are allowed here, no restrictions?"

The beta's eyes darkened. "No restrictions."

I nodded, relieved. Accepting us was one thing, but Syl still had the potential to produce children if they decided to reassign her to someone else.

My concerns must've been evident on my face because the beta leaned forward. "I said no restrictions. No one will part a mated pair here. I'm actually fucking thrilled to have another mated pair. There's this rumour that maybe the reason mates were banned after the pack wars didn't just have to do with divided loyalties."

I quirked my eyebrow at him. I'd never heard of such a thing.

"Mates possess a special bond that gives them an advantage in battle, a connection and the ability to anticipate each other's movements. It is a unique benefit that a pair of pack mates can never achieve, and if one pack had more of such soldiers, well, they would be putting the others at a disadvantage. Make it so no packs can have mated pairs, and the problem goes away." The beta leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, Beta, I see."

The beta snarled. "I hate being called ‘The Beta' all the time. It's really fucking annoying. You can call me by my name. It's Dame."

I gasped. Jace's brother was the fucking beta? Not sure whether my association with Jace would solidify our place here or damage our chances, I licked my lips nervously.

"I have a message for you. It's from a man named Jace, your brother. He was the one who gave me the compass that led to Pack Cass. He wanted me to tell you he's sorry."

Dark eyes studied my face, and the beta—Dame—gave a curt nod. "Good. He should be."

"Also, I found this at the bottom of my bag." Reaching into my pocket, I pulled the plastic square free and handed it to him, the note Jace had left still attached. "I'd love to deliver it to this Tristan myself." Dame took it in hand. His eyes went wide when he opened it and looked over the disc inside. "But I don't know anyone here, and I figu—"

"Whoa, this is awesome. Tristan's been missing this one. Thanks, man." Dame grinned, holding up the copy of Shadows of Cobalt I'd found tucked into the bottom of my bag when I'd dumped it out. I smiled back, but my heart wasn't in it. This place, this community, it was all too much. I'd be free to be with Syl, and they would allow me to be a fighter? To protect my pack, my mate?

The idea would be laughable back home. I was a defective, a loser, assigned the role of watcher purely because I was too weak to work the fields. Only Syl had ever seen value in me, and now…

I could be happy here. I could have friends. My eyes watered as I eyed the infant on Dame's lap who had now moved onto chewing the knuckle of Dame's index finger mercilessly with his toothless maw. But, no, not a family, not me. A life, a mate, but the choice of having a family or not was taken away.

"Hey, man, you okay?"

I looked up in surprise to find Dame watching me worriedly.

"Yeah, it's just…They took so much."

Dame looked from me to his son and leaned forward.

"I know what they do to those they decide are defective, and I'm here to tell you it's reversible. Completely reversible. We have human doctors here who can do the surgery for you. It's quick and relatively painless." He grimaced.

In shock, I looked up to meet his eyes, seeing a hope of a future I'd never dreamed possible. Did I want to be a father? I didn't know. It'd never been a possibility before. I wasn't sure I did, and I didn't know if I could stand to share Syl with another person. I knew it wasn't something she wanted. But if what Dame claimed was true, we would have the choice, and that was everything.

"Dame, I think I can speak for my mate and myself when I say we'd like to join Pack Cass."

The End