Chapter 12

A familiar hand skated across the sensitive skin of my back, and I tensed. Anyone but Carter. Please anyone.

I turned to find Carter regarding me with a smirk curving his lips. What would he do to me tonight? He'd talked about burning the last time he'd taken me. The thought of having to smell my own seared flesh made me sick, but The Party Girl was up for anything. I forced a watery smile to my face, dreading where this was going and still weak from the heat, when someone bumped Carter from behind. His hand jostled free of my shoulder.

Holy shit. The man who bumped into Carter was enormous. Taller than any of the guys in the dorms, and he stared down at Carter, looking every bit like a giant of lore.

"Sorry, man. Water bottles in the fridge? I'm parched." The man was big enough to squash Carter, and I felt him stiffen beside me.

"Yeah, we've got lots. Excuse me, I was just talking with my girl here."

A smile curved the giant's lips, and he swung a hand out, gesturing at me.

"Your girl?" The man gave a laugh filled with the confidence of someone who had drank too much. "Aren't none of them our girls? Isn't that the point of this place?"

Carter didn't have an answer, just stood there staring in surprise.

"Yeah, well, I mean. Yes, that's true."

Watching Carter's normal composure shatter gave me all kinds of joy, and I coughed to hide my smile at watching him be so clearly outwitted.

The man waited a moment, the silence palpable before clearing his throat and nodding his head at the fridge.

"Still gonna need that water."

"Right, right. You go ahead." Whether because he didn't know a way out of the conversation without losing face, or because he recognized just how much bigger the man was, Carter moved to the other side of me. I thought he would leave, but the next second, I felt a sharp tug on my hair.

"See you later, Sy." His whispered words were more a threat than a promise, and I shook my shoulders to rid myself of his unwelcome presence once he was at a safe distance away.

"Why do you let him treat you like that?" There was an accusation in the tone, but his voice was clear of the drunken candor it'd held when he was speaking to Carter a moment ago. Tilting my chin up, I met the man's eyes for the first time. His eyes—

Blue, such a beautiful colour. Not light like mine but a deep blue like the water at night. He wore a collared polo shirt that fit snugly across his broad chest and strained across his biceps.

He was definitely new, and I studied him, trying to understand his game by asking me such a loaded question.

"I—" I tried to think of a lie, something believable that would get him off my back, but nothing came to mind. I shocked myself by speaking the truth. "He's the only one who will have me. He scares off the others."

He laughed—the sound bold and deep—and I swear it vibrated in my bones. A strange excitement took hold of my system in his presence. He reached past me to grab a water bottle, and I felt the brush of his warmth. Swallowing hard, I tried to pretend that it hadn't affected me, like I wasn't thinking dirty, nasty things five minutes out of my heat, but I was.

He was new here, and I didn't need to see the others to know who he was. Retrieving the bottle, he turned to me, his eyes twinkling merrily and smiling in a way that brought out his chiseled jawline and sent a fresh rush of arousal to my core.

Grinning, he held his bottle up in a mock cheers, looking fucking delicious while doing so. "Good thing I don't scare easily. The name's Bash. See you around."

Bash headed back over to where a couple of other guys were playing foosball, holding up a beer to one and muttering something before being given a turn at the table.

I felt certain I'd just met The Stag, and now flustered in addition to wrung out, I made my way straight to bed.

Bash. His name was Bash.

While I'd been too emotionally and physically exhausted to engage with him, I'd woken up with his name on my lips. I dressed quickly, barely looking at what I was putting on. For once not caring if I showcased enough flesh to be appetizing to the sea of hungry wolves waiting out in the common room.

Not today. I only cared about appealing to one man, and he'd barely scanned my body. Shit, that sexy curl of his lips got me flustered. I smoothed down my hair, curling the ends with my fingertips, so they better tucked under my chin, the sandy blonde strands reluctantly cooperating.

I blew out a calming breath.

The Party Girl was never worked up. Never overexcited for one man. She belonged to everyone, and she was always ready for a good time with whoever would take her.

Only this party girl wanted one very specific man to take her, to awaken her.

It was time. He'd be waiting.

How I knew he'd be waiting was a mystery, but I felt it. When I walked down the hallway and emerged into the common room, I found him seated at the table with a half-eaten sandwich, his eyes already fixed on mine. The intensity of his stare was too much, and I broke eye contact, feeling the loss of our connection immediately.

What was this man doing to me? I was here to get pregnant and get out.

He could help me with that.

A slow, tantalizing smile spread across his face as he gestured to the empty chair beside him. A promise that he could do just that.

I slipped into the chair, our knees accidentally brushing where his long legs were folded uncomfortably under the table. This guy needed some kind of special chair to be comfortable, and pity swelled inside of me at the thought. How annoying must it be to never have furniture you could use comfortably?

"What's up, sleepyhead?" His eyes twinkled, and he took another bite of his sandwich with a crunch.

I eyed the sandwich critically. The word sandwich was almost inaccurate. The brown bread was loaded with generous amounts of meat, and he'd put those strange white sprouts I'd seen in the fridge, but never dared to try. It looked more like he was having meat for breakfast with a side of bread and some vegetables for garnish.

"Just waking up. Looking forward to the run later." Breeders were required to rest on the day of their induction, and I'd missed the power of shifting and racing through the woods. I'd expected this to be a safe topic of conversation and for him to agree. Instead, he looked away like I'd said something troubling when all I'd really been thinking about was what kind of beautiful animal his wolf was. "You okay?"

He didn't answer right away, but the frown marring his face while he stared down at his meat-thing surprised me.

"Yeah, I've always-always loved going for runs." The way he looked up at me was wistful, and I studied him closely, knowing there was more to the story. "So, what does everyone do all day here?"

Good fucking question. The Party Girl knew this was an opening, that I should sidle up close to him and tell him exactly what I wanted to do with him, but I could feel that brutal honesty coming out of me again. Damn him.

"Everyone fucks and plays foosball. Drinks. It gets boring after a while."

Now it was his turn to study me, and I didn't realize a tear had slipped out until he brushed it away with his thumb. I looked up to find his brow crinkled with concern.

"Well, what did you like to do back home?"

Home. I might've had to tread carefully around my mother, but I was free to be myself there. While I should be lying to him—saying I loved it here, loved to fuck and drink all day—I simply couldn't.

"Oh, I designed clothes. Pretty much all day, every day. It's taken me years, but I've amassed quite the collection of magazines from what it was like before. Some of them are in shit condition, but they give me ideas." I rubbed my arms self consciously, looking down to realize I'd thrown on some jogging pants and a white short-sleeved shirt—the kind of thing I'd wear when I was alone in my room, not in front of the guys. I wasn't exactly showcasing my fashion prowess.

"That's great." His enthusiasm caught me off guard, and I looked up to find him sporting an enormous grin.

"Oh, I mean, it's okay. I guess."

He rolled his eyes.

"All right then, what do you do in the off hours back home?" I asked.

He stared straight ahead at nothing, and I could feel that same honesty being pulled from him, like he wanted to lie but couldn't.

"I draw."

"You draw. But what do you draw?"

He looked back at me, his eyes skimming my body. An artist studying his subject.

"Anything and everything. Always have. Always will."

That was kind of beautiful, and I felt a smile creeping onto my face. I was about to ask for more details when a beefy hand dropped to my shoulder.

"Hey, Syl, a couple of the guys and I are going to take a shower if you'd like to join."

My mouth hung open, and I looked up into Gale's eager face. I froze. The Party Girl always said yes. A couple of guys. That meant plenty of opportunity for pregnancy, and not with Carter—who'd been curiously absent after Bash's challenge.

I always said yes.

This was what I was here to do.

My eyes drifted to Bash, and I found him watching me carefully. Not saying anything, just waiting for me to respond.

Make it count. Administrator Sampson's words hammered through my mind. Make it count, make it count, make it count.

As much as I was enjoying talking to Bash, talking wasn't what I needed. After coming back from the heat too drained to engage with anyone, I couldn't miss this opportunity.

"Sure, I'll be right there." With a coy smile, I placed my hand on Gale's and let him lead me towards the hallway. "I'll see you later, Bash."

"Count on it." He spoke quietly enough that I almost didn't hear him over the pounding in my ears. I kept my body turned towards him even as Gale tugged me further down the hall, clearly eager to get started. Carter hadn't dominated my time completely, but he'd made it harder for anyone else to get me alone, so I would depend completely on him.

"What kind of panties have you got on, baby?" Gale's lust-filled voice had a rough edge of desperation to it, and my palms grew sweaty in his hands.

"A black thong today." I didn't usually wear panties out around the guys, but I'd fallen asleep in it and been so eager to come out and meet Bash properly that I'd left the lacey little number on.

Gale groaned, his head dropping back.

At this time of day, the showers were often occupied, and I wasn't surprised to find Chloe pressed up against the wall being fucked hard. So many other women had come and gone since I'd first been entered in the breeding program that I didn't bother to learn their names anymore, but Chloe liked it when guys called out her name while they fucked her and I'd had an earful. Chloe's doe-like eyes were wide and her lips parted as a guy with a buzz cut hammered into her. A lineup of guys rubbing their cocks waited behind them.

No wonder Gale had wanted me to join. One girl for all of them meant a lot more waiting and a lot less fucking. Gale moved behind me and pressed his hard length into my back, his lips skimming along the shell of my ear.

"Now let's see those panties." He tugged my pants down and got on his knees behind me, squeezing my ass cheeks together. "Mm-hmm." His appreciative sounds were fucking hot, and I couldn't help but moan when he traced the seam with a thick finger to discover my wetness.

It wasn't for him. As much as I'd been engaged in conversation with Bash about perfectly normal, non-sexual things, his very presence had affected me.

"You were just waiting for me to take you in here, weren't you, Syl? You like being fucked by a pack of wolves."

Swallowing, I nodded shakily as he began massaging my ass.

He stood up behind me, and I gave a groan of protest at the loss of his touch, but then he was wrapping an arm around me and squeezing a breast gently.

"Strip." The whispered words were warm in my ear, and the scent of sex filled the bathroom along with Chloe's moans. The same man pounded into her, grabbing her long brown hair in his fist and arching her back to get deeper.

I took off everything and heard Gale doing the same at my back. His belt hit the ceramic tile with a clang. Then he urged me forward with a palm on my back, into the shower area, where the lineup of men watched me with hungry eyes.

"Right here, baby." Gale pushed me to the wall a few feet from where Chloe was being fucked. My nipples tightened painfully in anticipation as he pressed me against the wall with a forearm. "Now that Carter's backed the fuck off, you can join the party for real. You like that, baby?"

"Yes." The lust was thick in my throat, and I could hear deep chuckles at my back as if what Gale had said was funny. As if they were going to fucking destroy me.

I wanted them to, and I moaned, arching my back the way Chloe had done and moving my pussy closer to where Gale stood at my back.

"Mmm." His growl was all the warning I got before he slammed home, his forearm pressing me into the wet tile of the bathroom wall. Gasping, I planted my palms as he fucked me. I'd been wet, eager, aroused, but now that he was taking me, it wasn't what I wanted. I whimpered, realizing I wouldn't find a release with him. My body was wound tightly from Gale's ministrations and Chloe's desperation as she was fucked by a new man with a cock so thick it must've hurt going in.

Gale finished, his hand moving to the back of my head and pressing my cheek into the tile as he worked through his release. It hadn't taken him long. I felt the absence of his warmth at my back before another replaced it, grabbing my hips and hammering into me at a jarring pace that left me smacking into the tile.

The bathroom door swung open with a bang.

I looked up to find Bash's eyes on me, and I felt ashamed for the first time since entering this place. Like he'd caught me doing something wrong instead of doing my pack duty and working to be a pack mother.

His eyes never leaving mine, he pushed his way through the lineup of men waiting to fuck me. He brushed them aside like they were nothing. His eyes burned into mine—a mix of hunger, lust, and rage that had me gulping back air like each gasp would be my last.

Then he stood before me. I wanted to look at his body, to really look at it without the heat fogging up my senses, but I couldn't break his gaze. Couldn't speak. Couldn't do anything but be captivated by the spell he had me under.

He reached out and gripped my hair, and I gasped at the tug on my roots, moving instinctively into his palm so I was pressing my mouth against his wrist.

Fuck. I could come just like this, with him watching me like that and his firm hand wrapped up in my hair. Instead, I pressed a kiss to his wrist. My eyes rolled up when he crashed down upon me, his warmth pinning me to the wall with his hand still in my hair.

"You don't go with them," he growled and the warmth of his breath on my other cheek was heaven. I wanted to live in this moment. "If I'm free, you go with me." His breath traveled across my cheek, and I waited. Wanting his mouth on me. Wanting him to bite me. Mark me, consume me in some way I couldn't make sense of. "Do you understand?"

There was only one thing I could say. One word that would solidify the strange connection we shared. I was already at his mercy, a helpless bit of moldable clay beneath his hands, and he only had to squeeze to shape me to his will.

His hand twisted in my hair, and the sensation went straight to my core, drawing a desperate moan from my lips.

"Yes." I was dripping, the wetness between my legs combining with Gale's cum to soak my thighs. Squirming in his grasp, I tried to bring my body closer to his, but he held me fast, his eyes searching mine.

Then the hand in my hair released, caressing my cheek almost reverently. His thumb traced the curves and his eyes following it like he was memorizing me.

Fuck, it was hot, and I took a tentative step towards him when he crashed into me. His hot breath was on my neck, and I shivered at the contrast between rough and tender. Then he lifted me under the arms, pulling our chests flush before pressing me against the wall and sank himself deep into my pussy. I gasped at the stretch, remembering how I'd felt it even in my heat state, but after I'd adjusted and took another inch and then another, it began to feel good. Right. Exactly what I'd been missing from Gale with his perfectly average cock.

The realization hit me the moment he bottomed out. He groaned, the sound of him ricocheting off something deep inside of me and demanding a response. He pressed forward, and it was too much. The fullness, the feel of him, his sheer presence seemed designed to turn me on and strip away my defenses. I shuddered—not sure I wouldn't come with the slightest amount of friction between us.

I looked down to see where we were connected, and my breathing strained at the sight of him stretching my pussy. His hand dropped between us, finding my nub and cautiously circling it with his thumb. Hissing in a breath, my head fell back to smack into the tile behind me. His other arm went under my ass, and he lifted me, dragging my pussy against his cock.

Scrambling for his shoulders, I hoisted myself up, taking control of the maddening friction and setting a pace that left him moaning into my neck. He shuddered and took hold of my hips with a growl, slamming me into the shower wall. He tilted my hips as he thrust into me impossibly deeper and hitting a spot deep inside that left me squealing with coiled tension. Still, he rubbed. Harder. Faster. His grip on my hips tightening painfully as he worked me so hard I forgot to breathe. I cried, tears dripping down my cheeks as I fought to find a release I could taste.

He lifted me back into his arms, his mouth at my neck. His teeth skated across the delicate skin. I groaned at the loss of fullness when he slipped nearly all the way out. But then he was slamming me down against him with a growl. He lifted me and dropped me back onto him, using every bit of my body weight to dig his way deeper inside of me. I clutched his neck, pressing my face into his chest, trying to work through the myriad of sensations competing for my attention.

There was no shower anymore, no more room, no more other men. Chloe's moans, so loud and demanding, were lost to the music of Bash's growls and the vibration of the chest I leaned into.

He pressed me back into the wall, pinning me with his chest and planting his palms on either side of my head. Pulling out fully only to crash back into place, I was a helpless participant again, barreling uncontrollably forward.

Release. Pure bliss overtook me, and I shuddered as the tremors of pleasure worked their way through my body. He found his with a bone-rattling roar loud enough to shake my bones a minute before they melted under the most explosive release I'd ever experienced. My legs scrambled against his, fighting to hold him in place as my body trembled and shuddered through blissful release. Something gushed from me in time with the orgasms ravaging my body. They kept coming, just as Bash stayed hard within me. Moving slowly, the friction was just enough that the explosions of pleasure within me intensified, and I was sure this was how I died. On this cock. In this place. The Party Girl taken down by a runaway orgasm.

But the waves of dizzying pleasure eased. I sagged with relief against him, expecting him to pull away and welcome the next man to take my pussy. Only I didn't think my legs could support me. Now I would need to do the very embarrassing thing of asking him to please deposit me in a chair. Maybe the guys wouldn't mind if I was seated.

The Party Girl was always up for a good time. But I was groggy, not thinking straight, and I was shocked when a deep relaxation made its way through me, leaving my limbs floppy and sleep peeking at the edges of my vision. I couldn't explain what was happening. It was a sense of safety, like I needn't be afraid of anyone harming me ever again.

Bash's hand stroked up my back, and he scooped me up, holding me more firmly against his chest.

"The ch-chair," I sputtered out. There was a bath seat in the shower area, meant to be used for different positions, and I gestured weakly at it behind his back.

"Syl, there's nowhere you're going right now except to my bed."

I smiled into his neck. He'd sounded possessive before when he came in to confront me, but I hadn't really thought he would claim my attention in this way. With my bones turned to mush and the vibration of his chest spreading to mine, the only thing I wanted was to be held until I slept.

My eyes drifted shut. I didn't care to look and see if any of the other men watched or what they thought. I only cared that I was with The Stag.

Beautiful. Perfect. Only those words didn't describe it. Couldn't describe her. After tucking Syl carefully into my bed, cause fuck if she was going anywhere else, I took out my sketching paper and a piece of cardboard I'd swiped from the kitchen. With no desk or surface, I needed something at least semi rigid to provide a backing for my sketches, and the cardboard was decent for now.

Only it frustrated the shit out of me not to have a table as I worked to sketch out the way Syl's eyes had burned into mine.

When I'd finally followed her to the shower and made my intentions known to the others, not one of them had said a word. Oh, I'd dared them to. As I'd taken Syl the fuck out of there, I stared down the guys who had lined up to fuck my girl. But they'd broken off, forming a line behind the other women in the shower who seemed more than willing to satisfy everyone present.

Syl slept. It was midmorning, but she was exhausted, and I was fully prepared to give her whatever she needed. Even if it meant letting sleep steal her away from me. I was more than happy to process the beauty of each shared moment with her since I'd arrived. My hand flew across the page, working through the explosion of beauty and inspiration that now had a name.

Syl.

We'd barely spoken, but that connection I'd felt when I'd first seen her on my monitor was there, and her body reacted to mine like we'd been handcrafted for each other by a mad scientist who had aligned our systems, so we were never alone.

Never alone. That was it. This connection with Syl was unlike anything I'd felt with another person. Between my mother and bitch sister, there hadn't been room for connection. Not even with all the other kids, the kind ones with their pitying looks at my damaged condition. Then when I'd joined the other watchers and finally been among other men who got it—who had been classified as inferior from a young age just like me—I hadn't had the strength or interest in trying to connect with them.

But that was before Syl.

I frowned down angrily at the curve of her leg I was drawing, sure it wasn't right. No. It was shit. So far from the right delicate shape of Syl's actual leg, it was almost an insult. I lifted the infuriating cheap computer paper I'd been stockpiling for years, swiping a few sheets here and there, ready to crumple it. But paper was precious, and I had a whole other side. I just needed to take a peek. Just one little look and I'd know how to draw it.

My eyes fell on the sleeping angel in my bed. Her tousled ash-blonde hair obscured everything but lush lips still sporting the ruby red lipstick I'd only been so happy to smear. Hands peeking out to curl around the edge of the blanket, she slept peacefully. Deeply. I reached out to tug at the end of the coverlet, slowly lifting it with my eyes on her face to make sure I didn't disturb her.

Oh, I was such an asshole.