Chapter Twenty-Eight

When he leaned down to her, Kate ducked out of his way and stepped aside. ‘No. No, Theo. I'm sorry. I can't. Not here, not now.'

The memory of Cat standing on the Faerie Bridge, dressed in her beautiful gown, and Will telling her he was leaving suddenly burst into her mind and blotted out everything else. Then she remembered how Will had come back for Cat. What Cat had felt, seeing him there when she thought everything was lost to her. Heri fuit nostri . Yesterday was our time. And how she had grabbed a future with the man she loved, out of the wreckage of her past. Lucky, lucky Cat.

But —

She took a deep, shaky breath. ‘None of us can live in the past, Theo. It doesn't work out like it did for Cat and Will for everyone—' She shook her head, unable to finish the sentence, desperate to just give herself up to him right there and then, but still raw from the day before. If ever she had felt lost, she felt it now. But he had to sort his life out before she could commit to him wholeheartedly.

If Theo thought it was a weird thing to say, he didn't comment. Instead, he stood in front of her, hopelessly, almost, his arms by his side.

Then he wrapped them around his body, a mixture of pain and honesty in his eyes. ‘You're right. And Kate, my love, I have to tell you something. What I'm going to say doesn't for one moment change how I feel about you, but I have to be honest. Poppy's my daughter. They've just confirmed it. I'm going to fight for her. I want her with me.'

Kate just stared up at him, her eyes wide. ‘Yours? She's yours?'

Theo nodded. ‘She's mine.'

Kate couldn't even speak for a few moments. Things were shifting and changing in ways she had never anticipated. He had a daughter. He really had a daughter. And that daughter had a mother.

‘So, do we need to talk about what happens next?' Theo's voice was quiet, trying she knew, to keep his emotions in check.

‘Whatever that will be, is up to you.' Kate looked up at Theo, her voice equally unsteady. She turned her attention back to the stone beneath her feet. ‘He really did love Cat, you know. And she,' she looked up at him again, ‘loved him. She still does. I think.'

More silence. Then he apparently lost his resolve. He reached out, and drew her towards him. This time, she didn't resist as he pulled her closer and leaned his forehead on hers.

‘I guess,' he said quietly, ‘it's a start?'

‘I can't promise you anything. Like I said, it's up to you. Someone once told me they didn't like sharing. I can share some things. I can share a little girl's life, but I can't share the man I think I love with her mother. You have to decide what you really want, Theo. It's more important than ever, because now you do have a daughter. It's got to be me and Poppy. Or Lori and Poppy.'

Then she bit her lip, and broke away.

* * *

He watched her walk out of the churchyard. He knew that time was running out and he had to go back to Derbyshire; his van was packed and he had a life up there which didn't involve Hartsford.

He had Poppy to think about and Lori — what the hell was he supposed to do about Lori? He had a feeling this new development would send her hurtling back to him in some way, begging forgiveness and wanting to try again and promising the earth. But he didn't want her. Not at all.

Kate's face came back into his mind; her warm touches, her soft kisses, her laughter. The way he knew exactly where he was with her; the fact that he wasn't on edge when he was with her. With Lori, there was only incessant worry. The constant thought that she'd do something crazy; that if he left Poppy with her, Poppy would be dragged into it all. Poppy deserved so much more. She was only two.

He stared around the churchyard and looked down at the memorial stone. There was a feeling like something was starting up again; as if the gears in some giant clock were creaking back into use.

He shivered and pushed the thought away. He cast a glance at the church door where he'd seen her coming out in a white dress and catching his eye.

He wasn't sure if he'd seen the past, the present or the future. But he very much hoped it was the latter.

* * *

Kate hurried back to the Folk Museum, the back way, of course, trying not to catch sight of Cassie or Elodie or anyone she knew — she didn't want to go into why she was a snotty, soggy mess. Which made it worse when she actually did get to the museum and Jenna was there, in reception, looking guilty as hell.

‘Oh!' Kate pulled up short and Jenna stared at her.

Jenna tossed something in the bin, then folded her arms defensively. ‘Junk mail. My last duty in this shit-hole. You're welcome.' She nodded her head briefly.

‘Last duty? Please — tell me that's the truth?' Kate didn't care how awful that sounded. She really was in no mood to cross swords with Jenna today. In fact — ‘What the hell are you doing here anyway? We're closed.'

‘Yes. I'm returning the key.' She tossed it onto the bench where it landed with a metallic clatter. ‘And handing this in. My resignation. You're welcome ,' she repeated.

‘Well, thank the Lord for small mercies.' Kate snatched it from her and scanned it. She looked up at her. ‘This says the date you're leaving is today?'

‘Yes.' Jenna inspected her fingernails. ‘You probably owe me holiday.'

‘I do not.'

‘Then I'm exercising my right not to work my notice.'

Kate wasn't exactly sure if there was a right for that or not. She left all the HR stuff to, well, the HR people and the Board. Whatever.

Instead, she nodded briefly. ‘Resignation accepted.'

‘Good. Because you haven't got a say in it really. Daddy says I've done enough. I've paid him back for that stupid holiday, which I couldn't go on anyway, because I was in this fucking pit.'

Kate was in no mood to entertain the girl's petty whines either. And because this was possibly going to be her last chance to find out a few things, she had to ask. ‘Jenna, did you ever sleep with my brother.'

‘God, yes, of course .' An eye-roll, implying that Kate really was as stupid as she looked.

‘And Chris?' Kate thought she knew that answer, but she needed to hear it. She remembered again all the times he'd disappeared early and Jenna had come in late . . . now it made sense.

‘Yes. Sorry.' A smirk. She wasn't sorry, of course she wasn't. ‘Once or twice. Maybe three times.' A shrug. ‘Four? Who's counting.'

‘And,' the words would choke her, she knew, but she had to say them, ‘with Theo Kent?'

Jenna's ruby-red lips twitched up at the corners. ‘See you around, Kate.' She turned on her heel and stalked out of the museum.

Kate watched her leave, speechless. Knowing Jenna, that could have meant anything. She was more annoyed at the fact that Jenna might have moved in on Theo than she was with the fact that she had definitely been with Chris. And she found she couldn't leave it like that with Theo; not at all.

She was one hundred percent not going to share him with Lori, she knew that — but she wanted a chance to talk to him again, sensibly, without the shadows of Will and Cat lurking around. Perhaps they could sort things out properly. Perhaps she could give them a second chance again today.

It only took a moment for her to grab her car keys and run outside again. She put the car in gear and drove off, towards the campsite, her heart pounding as she imagined all the things she'd say to him. This was when, hopefully, everything slotted into place and the stars aligned and they finally had their time together.

It was the biggest gut-wrench of her life when she drove into that campsite and pulled up at the spot where his tent had been.

Because Theo Kent had packed up and left, without so much as a half-chewed carrot on the ground to say he'd ever been there.

* * *

Theo was all Kate had thought about, the whole of that Tuesday night as she tossed and turned in bed and knotted herself up in the sheets so thoroughly that she struggled out of them at two thirty in the morning and kicked them off.

She knew what she was going to do. She padded across the bedroom floor and headed down the staircase that led into the museum, relishing the cool stonework on the soles of her feet. She walked all the way through the museum until she came to Will's cottage and she stood in the middle of his room, looking around as the shapes and shadows resolved themselves out of the darkness.

It was only the museum cottage, though. It wasn't really Will's cottage. Kate might have heard a snuffling, and she might have felt a cold, wet nose brush against her ankle. It might have been Hector coming to see her, but it could just as easily have been her imagination. She supposed in Cat's timeline, Will had left the place; at the very least, he'd moved out of the cottage when he left to travel and someone else had moved in. She didn't know where they had gone after the wedding-that-wasn't-a-wedding. Perhaps Cat would have had no reason ever to come back here? The thought was sobering. Kate wondered if that meant it was over — her visits to the past had ended. Her life and Cat Tredegar's life had finally diversified. They were no longer travelling the same path.

She had lost Theo, just as much as Cat had seemingly lost Will.

Second chances sucked, they really did, if everyone involved felt differently.

‘I guess this is really goodbye, then,' said Kate. She listened, very carefully, but nobody answered her.

* * *

The drive back to Derbyshire was never-ending. Theo got stuck in some sort of tailback on the M1 and he was having a hard time concentrating on his driving as it was. Thoughts of Poppy and Kate were tumbling through his mind; and the spectre of Lori was there too, creeping into the corners of it.

‘Oh, for God's sake!' he said out loud, and swung his car away from the direction of his rented stone-built cottage near Matlock, and headed instead towards a newer estate of characterless, two-dimensional-looking brick houses. This was where Lori and Poppy lived. Well — currently just Lori on her own, thank goodness. Poppy was still safe, and he had already rung the solicitors and the social workers and had an idea in his head of how to progress on that one. But there were things he needed to say to Lori.

He too had lived on this estate, when they'd been ‘on' — and he knew it was never an estate he'd fitted into. The neighbours he'd met clearly thought he was the one at fault. All they saw was a young woman with a baby, and a man coming and going. Lori had quite a creative mind, to put it politely, and he knew the stories would not be very complementary to him at all.

Sure enough, he saw some of the curtains twitch as he pulled onto the shared driveway and debated whether to wave at them or just ignore them and walk straight up to the door. He decided on the latter, and briefly wondered what Kate would have done. The thought made a bittersweet smile twitch at the corners of his mouth. But he pushed the image of her smile away, took a deep breath and rapped on the door.

He stood a few minutes, then tried again. Eventually, there was a movement from behind the door and it cracked open.

Lori peered out, looking dishevelled and her eyes widened as she saw him. ‘Theo!' Her voice was slurred and Theo's heart sank. Lori drunk was ten times worse than Lori sober.

‘Hello Lori. May I come in?'

‘It's a bit awkward,' she said, flicking a glance over her shoulder. ‘Poppy's asleep and you can't be waking her up.'

His heart pounded. ‘Poppy's here? Then I've got to come in. I need to see her.' I need to take my daughter and get her away from you! Why the hell had nobody told him she'd been returned when he'd been speaking to people earlier about it?

Lori just shook her head and made to shut the door. Theo put his hand on the door and pushed against it. He leaned in as close as he dared, and Lori's breath reeked of alcohol and something he really hoped wasn't marijuana.

‘Lori, Poppy's my daughter. I'm coming in. You're in no fit state to look after her today.'

‘I know she's your daughter. And if you come back tomorrow you can see her and we can decide what to do.' Lori smiled, lopsidedly and made her eyes wide and innocent. Theo saw her pupils were like little pinpricks and he didn't like it much. ‘I think she needs two parents, and it's something we can talk about tomorrow.' Then, quite frighteningly, her face crumpled and she squeezed a tear out. ‘I'm too upset today to deal with it. It's a big thing.' She raised her voice, so the neighbours would hear her if they so desired. ‘I mean, you abandoned us, and all she asks is "where's Daddy, where's Daddy". And I had to get all those paternity tests before you'd accept your responsibilities!'

‘Lori! That's a lie and you know it! And what the hell have you been taking?'

She didn't answer; but her gaze raked over him and suddenly she gave one of her little smiles. It reminded Theo of Jenna, back at the Folk Museum. It was predatory; there was no other word to describe it. And Lori was pretty much pickled. She only ever smiled like that when she was two drinks away from passing out. A prickle of unease ran up his spine. He knew, now, he had parental rights — but did that give him the right to walk in there and get his daughter? He didn't know.

Then he realised he didn't care. ‘Look — don't even answer that. I'm coming in now.'

Lori went to slam the door, but he was too quick for her. She yelled out in anger as he barged through and ran straight upstairs. He flung the door to Poppy's room open and stopped in his tracks. The room was untouched. The biscuit wrappers, and the mug with its residue of curdled milk were still on the floor from when he'd last been there. The room smelled stale and there was no sign of the little girl.

He spun around and saw Lori staggering up the stairs, hanging onto the handrail as if she had the world's worst case of room-spin. ‘She's in my room. That's where she is. And you can't go in there — Theo!'

Theo pushed past her and flung that door open. A man lay in the bed, looking as spaced out as Lori. There were bottles and cigarette stubs piled on the floor and the man blinked at him, then smiled as if he was welcoming him to the party: ‘Hey — how're you doing?'

Theo thought he'd fallen into a nightmare. It was so different from this last weekend in Suffolk. He wished with all his heart he was still there.

‘I'm doing great, thanks,' he said to the man. ‘Can you tell me where my daughter is?'

‘Daughter?' The man looked vague for a second, then shook his head. ‘Haven't seen any kids around here. Sorry mate. Try next door.' He waved in the direction of the wall.

‘Sorry to bother you, then,' Theo said and backed out, shutting the door behind him.

Lori was standing on the landing swaying, her arms wrapped around herself. ‘A girl needs company,' she said in a whiny, childish voice. She jabbed her forefinger at him and he ducked out of the way as it came a bit too close to his eye. ‘And you're never around. So I have to take it where I can.'

‘I'm never around because you never seemed to know who Poppy's father was!' He was trying hard to control his temper.

‘Well then, there you go, it's you . We know now!' Lori smiled again. The mood swings were terrifying. ‘So you can come back and live here with us!'

‘No.' Theo just stared at her and shook his head. ‘No. I'm going to fight for custody. You can't even look after yourself, never mind her.'

‘Theo! It's because I'm sad. And I'm lonely.' Here were the tears again. ‘I miss you. Poppy misses you.'

Theo stood his ground. ‘No. D'you know what? I'm delighted Poppy's not here. I really am. Because she's not seeing you like this. You're on a downward spiral, and you have to get yourself sorted out. You owe it to yourself and, if you can't do it for you, do it for her .' He looked at her for a moment more, relieved beyond belief that Poppy wasn't with her. She could do what she liked with her friends and her body, so long as Poppy wasn't there to witness it all. ‘Lori. I'm sorry, but I'll see you in court. And I'll damn well win.'