Chapter 16

“You missed the turn.” Mike Paul glanced her way, but she ignored him.

Keep your eyes on the road. Her hands were shaking, and she hoped like hell he couldn’t see that.

“Ivy.”

“If you want to end up in the ditch, bud, keep talking.”

The wind had picked up, and a couple of inches of snow had fallen since she’d come to town. The roads had been plowed and sanded at least once, but still, with a steady snowfall, it wasn’t exactly ideal driving conditions.

Thankfully, Mike Paul seemed to get lost in his thoughts, and she was able to navigate the roads without incident. The going was slow, and it was close to eleven o’clock by the time she pulled into her driveway and cut the engine. It was cold in the cab. She’d forgotten to increase the heat because her body was on fire , and her breath misted as she slowly exhaled and waited for her heart to slow down. Her hands were stiff, the fingers sore from gripping the steering wheel. She moved them a bit and tried to get the blood flowing.

Her knees knocked like they were the rhythm section of the local high school band, and she clamped them together. She didn’t want to chance a look at Mike Paul because her thoughts were so scattered she didn’t trust herself.

Was she insane bringing him back here?

Yes. Of course, she was insane. No doubt about it. She was the conductor of crazy. The maestro of madness. The ever-lovin’ witch of wantonness.

Okay, that might be over the top, but still. What would everyone at the party think when they realized she and Mike Paul were gone? Her eyes fell to the sparkling diamond on her left hand at about the same time her stomach shifted, making her feel woozy. That nagging sense of something was about to happen , the one that had followed her around all night was back, perched on her shoulder like the dark devil it was, and yet…

Ivy couldn’t ignore the other side of things. The excitement. The desire. The need and want and anticipation and all the things an engaged woman shouldn’t be feeling. Fake or otherwise.

With the truck no longer running, the silence inside the cab was so big it felt like she was underwater.

“I have to get out of here.” Her words were like bullets, shattering the silence as she opened the door. She prayed to every God she knew that she would be able to walk without falling on her ass.

Ivy slid out of the truck into the cold and snow and ran for the porch. She struggled to find the keys in her small purse, probably because her fingers were still stiff from their death grip on the steering wheel, but mostly because she was nervous as hell and doubting the stunt she’d just pulled. Maybe Mike Paul was smarter than she was. Maybe he would stay in the truck. Call a cab. Or another saner person would show up to take him back to his place. Maybe he’d?—

“Here, let me.” Mike Paul gently grabbed hold of the keys from her fingers and let them into the house.

It was warm. Toasty warm. Too warm . God, she was hot.

Ivy slid off her coat and tossed it onto the floor beside the sofa. She stepped out of her booties and padded across the room to the kitchen, where she immediately reached for the bottle of Fireball on the counter. She would prefer a good, stiff tequila, but it was all she had. She tore off the lid and took a shot straight from the bottle, grimacing as the cinnamon-flavored whiskey burned down her throat, bringing tears to her eyes. She took one more shot for good measure, then turned and offered the bottle to Mike Paul.

“I’m good,” he murmured and leaned against the kitchen island.

Good? He was more than good. God, the man took her breath away.

Mike Paul Darlington was beautiful. Every. Single. Inch.

Hungrily, her eyes ate him up—from the top of his messy hair to the bottom of his feet. His dark, good looks were amplified by the shadows that fell from the overhead light, giving that strong jaw of his a more pronounced look. The two days’ worth of stubble on his chin only added an air of danger. Didn’t help that his eyes glittered in the low lights, alive with that extra something that made it hard to look away.

And then there was his mouth. It was fuller than most men she knew, almost feminine, but when he smiled, the world fell away. And, well, she knew what that mouth was capable of.

Oh, my Jesus, she thought. I’ve lost my mind.

“Why did you bring me here?” he asked quietly. “What are we doing?”

Why was he so damn calm? Unfair when she was ramped up like a locomotive coming in hot.

Her mouth was dry, and she licked her lips, a nervous gesture, but dammit she needed to think. Ivy took another swig and then put the cap back onto the bottle of Fireball. She set it on the counter and blew out a hot breath. She kept her back to Mike Paul but moved a bit so that she was in front of the sink and could look out the window into the backyard. There wasn’t much to see but swirling snow, yet it calmed the part of her that was moving too fast.

“That night after bowling,” she started slowly. Kept her head down. And ignored the pounding drums in that space that surrounded her heart. “You said something to me.”

“I said a lot of things that night. You’ll have to be more specific.”

She felt him. He was closer.

“You said that I belonged with you and no one else.”

“It’s true.”

Closer still. She felt the heat of his body, and goosebumps broke out along her arms. She wrapped them around herself and closed her eyes, her mind chaotic.

“When I was fourteen, I found that coyote. The one that had been hit and injured out by Dicken’s ranch.” Would he remember?

“It was a female. Not more than five weeks old.”

She smiled to herself. Of course, he would remember.

“I took her to you. Not to my mom or dad. Not to Cal or Millie Sue. Only you. Because even then, you were my person. The one I shared everything with. The one I trusted to have my back. To look out for me. To help when I needed it.”

“That hasn’t changed.” His words were spoken so quietly she barely heard them. “You might not believe it, but it’s true.”

“You told me you’d help me save her. We rode our bikes to Doc Merchant’s vet clinic, that little coyote cuddled against your chest, and when we got there, he gave us crap. Said she was a wild animal. That we should have left her on the side of the road and let nature take its course. I was too emotional and froze, but you got in his face. Told him that nature wasn’t driving the car that hit her. That it was a human, and if he didn’t save the coyote, he was a fraud and had no business being a vet.”

She could still picture Mike Paul standing up to Merchant, tall and thin with years to go before he grew into his bones. His ball cap turned back, dirt on his face and a look in his eye that told the vet they weren’t leaving until he looked the animal over. In the end, they couldn’t save the coyote. Its injuries were too much. But at least the animal died peacefully, with Ivy and Mike Paul at her side.

Ivy exhaled and turned around. That was the moment she knew he would be the most important person in her life. She’d felt it in her bones. As she got older, it had been a bitter pill knowing that he’d only ever seen her as a friend. A pal. The girl with glasses and attitude. The girl with a right arm that could throw a baseball with more accuracy than anyone in town. The girl who told the raunchiest jokes ever because she’d felt like she needed to in order to fit in.

“Ivy?”

“Why did you sleep with Val?”

“You want to talk about Val?” He was surprised and didn’t hide it. “Why?”

“I want to know why you slept with her.”

He shifted his feet, obviously uncomfortable, but his eyes never left hers. “The same reason anyone gets together. She was available, and so was I. Val is no different than any of the other women I’ve hooked up with.” He rubbed his jaw. “Look, if you want a play-by-play of every single woman I’ve been with since you’ve known me, then whatever this is right here isn’t going to work.” His eyes were searching, and she felt as if he could see into her soul. It was a sobering thought that this man had so much power and didn’t know it.

“I’m no angel. Never claimed to be. I like women, and they seem to like me. But all that is history. I don’t want anyone else. Haven’t wanted anyone since I tasted you last fall.” His eyes burned. “You wrecked me that night, Wilkens.”

His words fell across her skin in delicious waves. “You haven’t been with anyone since us?” She found herself asking the question, even though she was pretty sure she didn’t want to know the answer. Because there was no way he’d been celibate for a year.

“There’s been no one.” He took a step forward, those dark eyes of his boring into her very soul. “I can’t get you out of my fucking head.”

Heat erupted between her legs, a slow, steady throb that would drive her crazy if she didn’t do something about it.

“I don’t know what Val did to you. I’m sorry if I should, but?—”

“I don’t want to talk about Val anymore. She doesn’t matter.”

It hit her then. Val didn’t matter . And maybe she’d been using Val as a wall to put up between her and Mike Paul. A way to protect herself. A way to punish Mike Paul even though he hadn’t done anything other than be himself.

“Ivy,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Slowly, she let out the long breath she’d been holding. “I want you,” she admitted. “Right now. Right here.” She paused. Could he hear her heartbeat? It felt like a damn drum pounding inside her ribcage.

He said her name in a way that made her lady parts sing. “Jesus, you’re making it hard for me to be the good guy. The one who walks away when he should.”

Before he could move or say another word, Ivy closed the space between them and reached up. She grabbed his face, stood on her tiptoes, and finally pressed her mouth against his. He groaned into her but didn’t resist when she melted into him and deepened the kiss.

It didn’t take long for Mike Paul to take over, his tongue aggressive and then gentle as they tasted each other. His hands were in her hair, on her back, then slid to her butt. He held her in place and kissed her until her head swam and her knees buckled. She swayed against him, the throb between her legs so intense she groaned in frustration. Ivy gyrated slowly, smiling inwardly when she felt his erection, so when he tore his mouth from hers, she was confused.

“What?” she managed to say as she blinked up at him. His handsome face stared down at her, his expression dark, his eyes smoldering.

He swore and touched her bottom lip with his thumb. “I want you so fucking bad, and it’s killing me to step away, but I can’t do this. You’re engaged, and that’s a line I can’t cross.”

Ivy felt as if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped over her head, but instead of cooling her off, it sizzled and only made matters worse. She was drunk on desire, heavy with need, and more than a little irritated at the turn of events.

“You didn’t sleep with Anna Parker?” she asked, voice rough.

“Really? That’s what we’re doing?”

“Millie Sue told me she used to come into the Sundowner asking for you.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Not until she left Dave. I swear it.”

“Tracy Bell?”

“Never touched her.” He winced. “Well, there was that one time, but she wasn’t herself. It was only a kiss, and she started it. I ended it and walked away.”

“Crystal Hines?”

“They were split. He was screwing his office assistant. Folks just didn’t know it yet.” His mouth tightened, he was obviously pissed. “Is that what you think of me? That I’m that guy? The one who would screw a married woman and not give a shit? I’ve never been a dick. Never lied to anyone. I’ve always been upfront and honest.”

What the hell was wrong with her? Ivy didn’t want to go over ancient history. Not now, anyway.

“Let’s forget about everything but us. Nothing matters except what we both feel right now.” Ivy let out a shaky breath and raised a questioning eyebrow. “Don’t you want me?”

“The fuck kind of question is that? You know I do.” Mike Paul was wrestling with something. “But if this is going to work, you need to break things off with Lafferty.”

“It’s not…I can’t…I…” Shit, who knew that Mike Paul had such a strong moral compass? “There are things you don’t know. Things I can’t talk about. Not now, anyway.”

“What things?”

“I can’t tell you. Please, just trust me on this.”

He looked at her as if she were crazy, and maybe she was. Then he backed away, clearly unhappy with the situation. “I can’t do this, Ivy. I’ll call a cab or get Jacob to come get me.”

“Wait. Let me try to explain.” Desperate, she took a step toward him, her mind frantically looking for an explanation Mike Paul would accept without betraying Kip.

“I think we’re done tonight.”

“Put your phone away.”

He had the device to his ear.

“Oh, for the love of God, Mike Paul. Kip and I have an understanding.”

“What do you mean by that?” He glanced at her, his expression dark.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. It does.” Mike Paul took a moment. He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to respond, and while he quickly typed out a message, she couldn’t help but think she’d just screwed things up badly. When he was done, he put away his phone and turned to her.

“I came here because I wanted you so bad I couldn’t see beyond it. You’ve been like a drug in my system, one I can’t kick, and up until a few moments ago, I thought being with you was the cure. I thought that by making you mine again, we could be together.” His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared, and that dark look on his face intensified. “Let me be clear about this. I want you. All of you. All the time. I want to wake up with you in my bed and go to sleep at night, knowing there’s no one else but me. And yeah, it might have taken me years to figure that shit out, so I apologize for being dense.”

“What about last year?” she asked the question that had burrowed beneath her skin forever, it seemed. “After we were together, I thought things would be different. But then I never got a phone call or text. And the next time I saw you, you acted like we were pals. Like it was normal for you to take me into your bed and then act like it never happened. You treated me like all the other women you’ve been with, and that hurt.” Her throat constricted.

“I was…” He swore and looked away. “I was confused. It felt like I’d crossed a line. Taken advantage of you or something.”

“Taken advantage?”

“You and Millie Sue had more than a few drinks that night. I didn’t know if it was the booze that fueled what you felt. You were not the Ivy I was used to. I knew that I’d never felt like that before, and it scared the shit out of me. That might sound like the lamest excuse in the world, but it’s the truth.”

All that anger she’d stockpiled for the past year bubbled to the surface. “You’re a grown-ass man. Even if that’s how you felt, I deserved more because of our history.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. You gotta believe me. If I could go back and be a better man, I would. But I can’t. I can only do my best now.”

She tried to clear her thoughts, but one thing kept coming at her over and over. “I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart.”

“I want the chance to prove that you can. But you’re engaged. And the Ivy I know wouldn’t settle for a toss between the sheets while wearing another man’s ring.”

“You don’t know me at all,” she shot back, so riled she couldn’t see straight. But who was she angry with? Mike Paul, for being honest? Or herself because she was drowning in doubt and lies and her own insecurities?

“Oh, but I do,” he said, moving toward her. ‘I’m the guy who knows you pick out the pink marshmallows in your Lucky Charms. I know you have an insane fear of spiders.” His hands cupped her face and held her so that she couldn’t move. Not that she could. She was frozen in place.

“I know that your eyes change colors when I’m inside you. When we’re so fucking close, nothing can tear us apart.” He paused. “Except you, Ivy. You’re the storm now. You and Lafferty and whatever this is between us is messy.”

The fact she could swallow was a miracle considering her throat was so damn tight. Her breaths fell in short, hard spurts, and she was dizzy. His hands fell from her face, and she was lucky she didn’t end up on the floor in a puddle of pathetic need and confusion.

He stepped back, and she finally exhaled. “What are you doing?”

“Cobi is on her way.”

“But—”

“This is me finally being man enough to do what’s right. Let me know when the storm ends, Wilkens because I’ll still be here.”

Mike Paul held her gaze for so long tears poked the corners of her eyes. Then, with a small nod, he turned and left her alone.